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>>43152749

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Element Anonmare

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>>43152749

>>43152749
Threesome with Anonmare and Trixie!

>>43152749
me on the left

>>43152882
Wow, pony life has been great for her! Not a single fat roll!
>>43153017
Fuck it this is their first date

>>43152882
very cool anonmare drawing

>>43149794
"Wait. Did you just say-"
>Before you can fully process that, two heifers in olive drab canvas jumpsuits poke their heads through the door.
>Beyond, you can see a veritable labyrinth of control panels, dials, pipes and valves, with a great window at the very end.
>Klaxons blaring, grinding your skull and patience to dust. Spinning warning lights doing everything in their power to stain your corneas permanently. Reminds you less of a steam boiler, more of a... nuclear... reactor...
>No. Just- no. No, no no no.
"What the fuck am I supposed-"
>You find yourself carried through the air, reflexively curling up like a-
>Fucking dammit, they're carrying you by the scruff!
>>"The Great and Powerful Trixie is NOT a cat! Put her down, post haste, ye by-the-hour rrrrrrrruffians!"
>Damn
>Girl can really roll them Rs.
>Obligatory unf
>Where were you? Oh right. Imminent mortality of the entire municipality, potentially including the residents thereof.
>The thought shocks your system, as does the cold concrete on your ass when Goon #1 (she's wearing welding goggles) drops you just inside the door.
>>"That's more like it, but be more careful with Trixie's-"
>"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! We're short-staffed and the gas pressure is redlining!"
>Someone in the metal jungle shouts back- "PULL THE CHEESE OUT! THE SUGAR FUCKED THE SYSTEM, WE NEED CONTROL RODS! CONTROL RODS!"
>A goat sprints out of the woodwork, towards the noise. Carrying what looks like.. a bottle of gas relief pills!?

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Posting family for good luck.

>>43153649
>Goon #2 (with a pencil in her ear) starts jogging forward, calling over her shoulder: "COME ON! Mooriel talked you up at cards every damn week! We're skirt steak if we can't shut it down!"
"I'm a carpenter! Sometimes a metalworker! Not a-"
>"Just follow me! NOW!"
>Her authoritative voice triggers the little horsey part of you that likes being led around by the reins. No room for dissent. You follow, having an easier time than you might've assumed. The quarters are tight for cows, but not so bad for ponies.
>She leads you through a winding corridor of analog computer-y looking stuff, which gives way to a large and surprisingly orderly half-circle of a room. The big window covers the entire far wall, allowing a view of the reactor(?) pit...
>Or it would, except the damn thing is full of sickly, smoky fog that completely obscures everything more than an inch or two below your current floor level.
>A rapid bell and a whistle sound from a nearby console. A pimply teenage calf in white coveralls tries to keep her cool as she calls out, "Uh, uh uh uh- BLOCKAGE! OUTGOING NUMBER THREE, uh-"
>She rapidly glances between the console and something out that big window. Her composure fails, she runs for the door, screaming incoherently.
>Goggalette chases after the junior engineer, presumably to beat her ass. You try to find what she was looking at- there? Yes, there!

"Trixie, I need you to break that big window."
>>"Bucking WHAT?"
"See that red pipe? See how it's swollen fatter than Twilight after a 2-for-1 promotion at Hayburger Hamlet?"
>>She sees you pulling the shotgun off your back. A look of dawning realization, horror and grim acceptance follows. "...Gonna blow it?"
"Got no other ideas- might buy us time, might be one of the hundred things that could kill us right now. What else can we do?"
>She says nothing, just kind of wimpers while you pull out a shell and rest the gun on your other bag
"Come on, Trixie, we're fucked if we don't do some-"
>A heavy hoof smacks you in the back. Good technique, solid hit, just enough force to hurt. Must be Mooriel. "The hay are you doing!? You can't use explosives in here! Gonna blow the whole system!" -yeah, it was Mooriel.
>Well, that was your only idea. Guess you'll just die.
>You grab Trixie for some makeout time, but manage to fumble it so hard you end up pushing her onto her back. The resulting panic-roll ends with your nose stuck in her saddlebag.
>Sniff sniff
"Trixie."
>You sniff some more. Kinda spicy.
"Trixie. Why do you smell like ethnic food? Did you..."
>She scoots backwards, trying her best to not look guilty.
"TRIXIE! New plan! Please, please PLEASE tell me you swiped some leftover curry!"
>>"Trixie has NO idea what you're talking about, she does NOT go around scavenging like a common rrraccoon!"
>She's lying. She'd never turn down some scran, especially exotic and expensive scran. Which you assumed was an oxymoron until yesterday, but ponies gonna pony.

>>43153925
>A distant blast. A thud reverberating from the walls. Rumbling in the floor. Panicked chatter from the engineers, and you're stuck like a deer in headlights:
>"EXPLOSIVE RUPTURE- TANK BLOWN! PIPE SEVEN, NUMBER FOUR! PROBABLY TOOK SOFAS AND QUILLS WITH IT!"
>"BETTER THAT THAN THE REACTOR PIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT WE NEED THAT PIPE CLEARED!"
>"DID THE SHUNTS WORK OR NOT!? DID THEY WORK!?"
>"I NEED MY PIPES CLEARED AMIRITE LADIES?"
>"SHUT THE STEAK UP ABOUT YOUR CONSTIPATION, DAISY JO!"
>"SHUNTS MUST'VE WORKED OR THE WHOLE SYSTEM WOULD'VE BLOWN BY NOW! PRESSURE BELOW REDLINE BUT RISING. REPEAT, PRESSURE STILL RISING!"
>"I DON'T UNDERSTAND- THE SYSTEM SHOULD BE BLEEDING PRESSURE! WE LOST AN ENTIRE TANK, HOW IS THE PRESSURE NOT DROPPING?"
>"FLUSH THE SYSTEM, NOW!"
>"WE'VE TRIED TWICE! HALF THE PIPES GOT CRIMPED SHUT, PIPE THREE'S THE ONLY ONE STILL INTACT!"
>More shit'sfucked bells. The acne-scarred adolescent limps back to her post. "WHAT IS IN THE WATER!? IT GOT GUMMED UP SO FAST- THE MONITOR ALREADY THINKS 7-4 IS SEALED AND ABOUT TO BLOW! SHIT-"
>A shrill whistle and another explosion, closer than the last. "THERE GOES 7-3! REPEAT, WE LOST PIPE SEVEN, TANK THREE!"

>The dread of what happens when you run out of sacrificial tanks brings you back to reality.
"TRIXIE! YES OR NO!?"
>>"Y- n- why does it matter!? Isn't the boiler more important than-"
"SHUDDUP, TRIXIE! IT'S RELEVANT! Stupid hail mary plan but it's all I got!"
>Her wild eyes rest on yours for a moment. The kind of eyes that want you to offer help out of nowhere because they'd never BEG, cretin. Just like when she was stuck underwater.
"Come on now, I don't intend to die the same fucking day I score a date. Trust me."
>A magic warble and a flash of blue. A doggy bag is thrust into your mouth.
>>"For your information, Trixie did NOT scavenge leftovers. That was already in the bag when Pinkie gave it to her!"

>Great. Ponko gave Trixie some curry but didn't leave you any gumbo. Whatever.
>You flag down the pimply calf.
"HEY! Got a stupid idea: what if we use spicy curry as drain cleaner?"
>She looks at you in the way you should've expected: like you're the dumbest fuck in the room.
"Spicy curry hoof-made by Pinkie Pie?"
>She stuffs her face into the bag and pulls it out with a yelp, gesturing wildly at a mess of pipes and valves to the left of the window. "HOLY BEANS ON TOAST, why didn't you say something sooner!? OVER THERE! BLUE VALVE, THAT'S THE ONE WE USE TO RUN CLEANERS! HURRY!"
>You dash over as fast as you can. Trixie is already there, unscrewing the thing with her magic.
>While you pull the little carton out of the bag, a big important-looking list catches your eye. Says things like "WARNING- DISENGAGE BOILER FROM MAIN SUPPLY BEFORE CYCLING ADDITIVES. FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL CONTAMINATE-"
>Blah blah blah. Desperate times and all that. The carton comes open and the entire room smells delicious, except-
"Uh, Trixie? We got a problem."

>>43153998
>>"WHAT NOW-" she glances at the carton for a second before she shuts her eyes in frustration. "Right. Buck."
>Of course Pinkie Pie would never just give you the curry- this is a meal. There's rice and vegetables. Things that'll clog the pipes worse AND soak up the nose-scalding spice you're pinning your lives upon.
>>"Before you ask, Trixie does not have a glass shell."
"Figures. Now what the fuck-"
>Squeaky McPizzaface barely avoids slamming into you as she runs over. "WHAT ARE Y'ALL WAITING FOR- oh shuck my corn, right, don't pour that rice in-"
"WE KNOW!"
>>"WE KNOW!"
>"OKAY! Sheesh- now, did one of you mention glass?"
"Not that kind of-"
>"The observation window was a cheap piece of crap that keeps leaking when it ain't breaking in sections- somehow, don't make sense to me."
"Yeah, that's-"
>"So anyway we keep plenty of spares, I dunno what use it'll be but you're the fancy big city unicor- AW TARTAR-US"
>You all wince and swear as a third tank blows, a little louder, a little closer. Ms. Coveralls runs off and you don't even hear yourself over the engineers sounding off the damage report.

>Okay then. A minute passes without her, which you spend inspecting this machine.
>The blue valve wheel is on a holding tank, and opens a port sticking out of the top- roughly a 4 inch diameter, short mouthed pipe, about a 30 angle relative to the floor?
>To the left of the tank: A pressurizable chamber connected directly to the cleaner tank. A bunch of dials and warnings and checklists. A bellows in case you can't get the water pressure and want to try pumping it manually instead of running, praying, and/or finding a gun and one bullet.
>To the right, a bigass pipe that splits into a whole mess of smaller ones, running in just about every direction.

>Two minutes, maybe three. The general roar of professionals under duress never subsides. Your New Mechanical Thing autism buff wears off, and the panic seeps back in.
>Trixie is sweating bullets. You're looking around for a grille, a grate, fucking ANYTHING you can use as a sieve or a strainer or-
>BOOM
>Trixie wraps all four legs around you as some dust gets shaken from the ceiling. A few of the cows are drawing crosses over their chests.
>"SEVEN DASH ONE IS GONE!"
>"SHIT, I THINK THE CHEESECAKE SHOP WAS UNDER THAT ONE!"
>"CUT THE CHATTER- WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME! SOLUTIONS, WE NEED SOLUTIONS!"
>"THE PONIES ARE AT THE INJECTOR- SOMEONE START PRESSURIZING!"

>Pepperoni Ann comes back and deposits something on the ground. Clear, flat, about a foot in diameter.
"What is this- why... why do you have little circles of glass!? What the hell are these-"
>Trixie releases her grip and stands in front of you, clearly fascinated by something
>"Ah told you- that big window is some cheap pile o crap, sometimes we gotta fuse patches onto it!"

>As you reach down to grab one, a familiar, phantom shiver hits you somewhere entirely outside yet within your meat. The unmistakable sensation of magic reacting against your internal magic.
>You look to Trixie, hoping she'll tell you you're not crazy-
>She reaches out with her magic, almost rips the glass from your hoof, holds it perpendicular to the ground and... licks it?
>You see the corona around her horn wobble, stretch and thin, yet the energy around the glass remains unchanged. Throughout the process, her mouth goes from a mortal terror grimace, to a smile, to positively fucking ecstatic.
>>She proudly holds the glass up. When you fail to appreciate her genius, she moves it closer to you with an "Eh? Ehhh?" You peer closer.
"Trixie, what are- huh?"
>>The spit which was on her side of the glass has migrated to your side. "THAUMETIC-WEAVE GLASS PLATES! NUMBER FOUR BLEND! My bombshells are number three- this'll be harder to work with, but I can do it!"
"Okay, you know where the thing is- Zitface, hold that glass against the valve. The less Trixie has to focus on just holding it, the better. Ready?"
>>"READY"
>Zitface scowls at you for a second, but grabs the glass and holds it flat against the intake. "RRRRRDY!"
>Okay, now-
>How to do this without losing too much curry? The intake is only about 3 inches across but you've got 12 inches of glass to-

>A groaning in the pipes leads to the floor shaking leads to you stumbling forward
>On the opposite end of the room, a console manned by a goat in a red jumpsuit explodes and you hear the fucking wilhelm scream.
>You're too busy catching yourself to make a snide remark- a foreleg on the glass plate barely keeps your balance
>Yeah, that'll work. Foreleg on the plate, make a wall so the curry can't go anywhere else. You fumble with your mouth a bit, and turn the carton upside down right over the pipe.
>And then: the most satisfying sound. Liquid pouring into a metal container. It stirs an old, fearful, soul-killing nostalgia- gasoline into a tank. The gas tank of a souped-up 70s shitbox station wagon.
>>heypayattention
>Remmie. God you miss her. How she would've loved to take you and Trixie down south to her hometown. How she would've loved to repel the Canterlot fops and dandies with her aura of hello-sir-I'm-too-poor-to-care-about-going-to-jail-for-stabbing-you-for-the-fiver-in-your-wallet. How she-
>>anon!?
>Damn, you haven't thought of Remmie in 10 years. It still hurts just as much as the last time- your cuteceñaera ended with you crying like a bitch, though being a schoolfilly meant at least nobody beat the shit out of you for it.
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
>10 years without even a thought- how could you do that to her!? You piece of shit. You absolute-

>>43154440
>>"ANON!"
"Wh- what who where!?"
>Trixie's voice snaps you out of yet another ADHD internal trauma dump. You're not at the wheel of your once-true bride, nor are you a little filly crying at her special day.
>You're a grown mare, deep underground, trying to stop this fortress of brass and concrete from becoming your grave.
>Cows run between computer stations and big analog machines. Goats wordlessly carry out whatever grunt work needs doing- the pimply teen has roped one into holding the plate while she runs between the pressure manifold and the array of outgoing pipes.
>>"Anon! Focus, please, I can't keep this up forever!"
>Shit
>Right
>The dripping stopped, but the rice is still moist with orange-brown sauce, you need to get as much as you can but how? And- shit, that was kind of fast, wasn't it? Tikka masala is kind of thin but it's still thick enough to stick to stuff, right?
>Some awkward head bobbing and contortion lets you peer down past the overhanging glass without moving your leg too much. Yep, drip drip drip, onto the floor. No?
>No! Onto a golden glint on the floor!. A goat has slipped under your notice, and appears to be minding a bunch of upturned jar lids full of sauce. "Baaaa."
"Thanks dude! Might've saved our rumps!"
>"Baaa."
>Okay, need a new plan. Leg was a dumb idea, but- no, wait, you're fucking stupid. THE CARTON! DUH! Your horn is still kinda fucked but once you start the tear with your teeth, it's easy to rip a strip of waxed cardpaper off.
>A little rolling and crimping and you have a custom wall that fits... not quite perfectly over the pipe, but better than staining your foreleg for fuck all in return.


>BOOOM
>Everyone gets unsteadied by that one. Nothing changes in the blue glow, though- Trixie is in the zone.
>Even knowing how carefully engineered her persona can be, it's still infectious where it counts. Steady on, now. You got this.
>Start magicking the lids up. Fast- you can't afford to lose any more to the next tremor.
>Make a little hole in the smashed-up rice. Pour it in- it passes the glass good and easy, without leaving any spice behind.
>Sniff sniff. Goddamn this stuff is strong.
>Your sinuses are being annihilated by coriander, masala and some kind of trench warfare that will be outlawed too late to save the first victims of it. There's no way you ate this lasterday mornight.
>Did Pinkie know you'd need this? Or did she just make a custom batch for the cajun girl?
>Beyond that, though- something else in the bouquet. Something that raises your hackles.
>Sniff sniff
>Yep
>You think you catch a whiff of burned sugar, poopinated cupcakes, cupcakeified wastewater, and hot pink dye #71
>Like the spa pool, but concentrated.
>Oh, that can't be good.

>>43154494
>Don't panic. Slow is precise, precise is fast
>One after the other. Just pour the sauce in. Five of those lids come up and empty their payload
>Not a moment too soon- another rumble, lighter though. Goggles calls out, "PIPE BLOWN, GREEN NUMBER FIVE. DAMAGE- uh, damage contained... to local area? Uh, yeah, FAILSAFES WORKED, WE'VE GOT A LITTLE MORE TIME!"
>She... didn't sound sure. Whatever. The tension in the room did seem to drop a bit, so... back to your lids?
>Four of which get dropped in a bucket the goat pushed over to you. The fifth you use to roll and press the rice for every last drop you can.
>A soft tremor makes you wince. You glance up from your crackhead mortar and pestle at the pimply teen; she's swearing up a storm after turning a stubborn valve.
"Hey, zitf-"
>"M'name's Acneloosa. Yes, really. Now, what?"
"Sorry, Acne, I-"
>A grunt
"ACNELOOSA, any idea how the fuck we're not dead yet? Doesn't seem right-"
>"Yeah, we've been fighting this for days. At first it was the sugar crap, it kept clogging the pipes, and turning all leathery if it got too hot before it cooled, but Ponyville's pipes were built for worse than this. Wasn't too much of a problem at first, what with all the shunts and detours we can open."
>She leans in close- "Y'know, the first burst of... caramel foam? I dunno what to call it- it happened down here, then spread up to the spa... Hot laundry water, was fine when it left, then it cooled down here... I haven't left this facility in 2 full days."
>Pangs of guilt. Wincing. She puts a lanky leg on your shoulder, causing a few bits of rice to leap out of their prison.
>"Don't worry, we know, it's that got-dang featherbrain who didn't check the bags. If anyone takes the blame, it's gonna be him. Specially since you're actually helping and he didn't even offer. Anyway-"
>One more roll of the rice. Give that carton a shake for good measure. Wince at a sizzling sound, before realizing it's coming from inside the tank. That's good, right?
>"-Done? Then turn that blue valve closed. Give your friend a rest," she nods at Trixie, and the blue light winks out as the plate hits the floor and breaks into two halves.

>Horn's definitely too weak to turn this bitch. Gonna have to lean in close and do it the hard way, and that means your nose is right next to the intake.
>Oof, that smell. Something wrong with your eyes? Ugh-
>A pair of Acneloosas nervously glances around at their coworkers, shrugs, folds back into one and continues: "Yeah. Been constantly flipping like this. Half an hour of life or death slapdash panic-work, then if you're lucky the pipes stay quiet for the next hour. The pipes being full of industrial cotton candy might've saved our rumps, actually."
"The fuck? I- shit I think I'm seeing double..."
>>Trixie gently pushes you to the ground and grabs the valve with her hooves. Turns it faster and smoother than you were, but still slow.
>With fuck all else to do, you absenmindedly pick up one of the jar lids.

>>43154698
"Wait a sec- didn't I hear you asking what was in the pipes?"
>"Yes'm. Didn't you also hear me say they were gumming up too fast? They're hot water tanks- this shit's not so hard to deal with when it's still hot, 'member?"
"Right..."
>"And the red pipes, including the fat one we need to clear or break at all costs?"
"Yeah- hot water outgoing. Get the hot water going again and it at least keeps the candy shit boiling- or cooling somewhere less important?"
>"Mmmhm."
"And no idea what's changed?"
>"Haven't left this room in days except for the shitter and the coffee pot. Although, Bessie on the inspection team? She swears up and down-"
"Hair? Fatberg? Giant aligator?"
>"No, no, and don't even joke about that one. Get this- she comes back, about half a shift ago, swears on her life, she fished a hoofful of SHARK TEETH out of-"
>HA HA HA HA HA HA FUCK NO NO NO
>Okay, it's time to take a closer look at this lid you're playing with. It's a fascinating lid. Nice golden sheen- or probably brassy, but whatever, it looks gold enough in this crappy orange lighting. Woof, it stinks like good street food.
>Okay, it's now been long enough to pretend you listened and politely change the subject. Uhh-
"So, how was the sticky crap a good thing?"
>"Well, you're gonna hate me- uh, the pipes in a constant cycle of boom and burst?" She laughs and snorts at her own pun. Nerd. "Not even the Big Ticket Buck-You. This place is also the power plant, and we damn near had a gas explosion- don't worry, you're not smelling gas, or at least not- you know what I mean. Anyway, I mean we DID have a gas explosion, but by grace of Cowst, somehow the affected system was clogged with that shit and it ate the worst of the blast. Still wasn't-"

>Shit, that lid and your leg smell like napalm in the morning. It was always strong but it's really getting to you now-
>Eyes, nose burning. You lose the last of Acneloosa's explanation in a ringing audio blur. Shake yourself awake!
>"Ok, let's rig the injector. With any luck it'll burn the worst of the clogs and buy us at least a day or two tofiiiixtherestofthe-"
>More blending in your ears. Goddamn the fumes are fucking with you. What did Pinkie DO to this!?
>Something doesn't look right with that lid you're pawing at. Probably just the steam and lighting but it almost looks like it's smokinwoooah, shit-
>You keen and list to the side, but the jar-goat steadies you without a sound. Trixie's eyes are screwed shut in exertion, Acneloosa shoots you a concerned look.
>Maybe you ought to buy a goat some day- Even Rarity is considering it, says they're all the rage with the lower-upper-middle-lower-topcrust-class.
>>The blue valve closes with a thunk and a feminine grunt from Trixie. "Done! Now what?"

>>43154714
>"Great! I've got the right lines shut off, er, lemme triple-check that-" Acneloosa leans over to the outflow, "uhhh, yep! Okay, check the pressure on the left there- is it green?"
>Come to think of it, Trixie is unaffected- maybe this stuff really is just cajun-spicy?
>You never thought you'd say it, but the thought that Pinkie DIDN'T secretly orchestrate the presence of this surprise tool is much scarier than the alternative...
>Right, the thing. Everything's still a little blurry but-
"Uhhhhhhhh- no, that uh- that needle's in yellow? like the bottom of yellow- almost-"
>"Red? SHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT I TOLD YOU IDIOTS TO START THE CYCLE-" She scrambles over to

>Yet another uniquely annoying sound joins the chorus of alarms. Goggles checks the offending console- "Green... Number five? NUMBER FIVE!? OH SHIT, NOT CONTAINED! NOT CONTAINED- TAKE COVER!"
>Grinding metal again. A low roar that rises to an ear-splitting shriek as a pipe in the ceiling bursts.
>Acneloosa keels over, her back and ass a nasty shade of red. Burns. Blood, coming out of- is that a shark tooth? "AAAAAAAGH! SOMEONE GET ON THE BELLOWS! IT'S THE ONLY CHANCE WE'VE GOT!"
>She makes a valiant effort to crawl anyway, but she simply cannot get up. Her back legs are just unresponsive- spinal injury? Oh she's fucked. She's fuuuucked.
>The floor swells and buckles near Goggle-girl and Pencil-ear, pinning them under a fallen console. Mooriel runs to help... and gets knocked out by a bolt launched from an inflated pipe.
>Trixie screams like a filly and grabs you. You just... stand there. Is this it? Is this all your second chance amounts to?
>Mind racing. Time slowing. A bolt, going right for the eye of that holstein on the far console, now hangs in midair. A puff of scalding steam, erupting in front of the door. No going that way.
>You died, once. A male ape got carjacked and left on the street. Later, worlds away, he continued to exist behind the eyes of a young, female, horse-adjacent creature- oh goddammit, life flashing before your eyes-
>This girl dealt with being even more of an outside observer to her own life than she ever thought possible.
>Friends? No. She dealt with being too aggressive and insensitive to hang out with the fillies, and too assertive for most colts. Even the ones who stuck around, she'd chase away.
>Some colts would try to get romantic. Either thinking they could break her in, or fully believing in the tomboy wife fantasy- she chased the first one off. Sent the second one to the nurse's office. The third one, she almost said yes, and sent herself to the nurse's office.
>Or that one time she, for a laugh, told Cheerilee exactly what her cutie mark would be and what it would mean to her. A week later, she almost didn't wake up. The nurse said she'd pulled three girls with pillows off her near-dead body.
>To this day, Cheerilee calls her a witch.
>Yeah, she... really didn't like using show knowledge. Even... ESPECIALLY when it's accurate.

>>43154962
>She dealt with the disturbing realization that sex, species and background are arbitrary parts of one's identity. She never chose to be male in her first life, either, and admitting that sent her spiraling.
>In her experience? Neither existence is inherently good or bad, but mortal minds get so attached to the one body they're given.
>The horror as she slowly stopped caring. Stopped trying to spite her own vulva with bizarre fantasies that never even got her off. Stopped screaming at the mirror. Realized nobody cared about her identity as much as she did. Stopped trying to act like A Guy or A Girl and just be herself, guns, carpentry, bisexual fantasies she wasn't quite ready to accept and all.
>Cleaned up her act, fixed stuff around the orphanage (more than a few things she'd been the one to break), hung out with the weirdos in the background, backslid a few times when particularly sentimental past memories resurfaced, got a reputation for being the kind of crazy who's too dumb or weird or obsessed to even think of being evil- and that's why the mayor had her fixing that fucking bookshelf, when Nightmare Moon returned, ended up a main character despite her best efforts.
>Made six Actual Fucking Friends- not business partners or drinking buddies, actual friends she can tell (almost) anything to.
>They're not perfect, in fact they're kind of assholes a lot of the time, but so is she so whatever.
>If they weren't assholes, they might've just walked away when Trixie challenged them, and then Trixie wouldn't need her.
>Show knowledge? Nah, just... Just a nudge in a better direction. A little understanding.
>And now you're here. Underground, in Ponyville's fucking First Time Factorio nightmare of a water and power system, about to be exploded if you're lucky enough to not be crushed low and slow.
>Maybe it would've been better if you just let it play out the same, huh?

>Yeah. Here. Remember- the place that's also the thing that's about to kill you? Shit for brains.
>Rattling. Thunder all around. Old klaxons coming back on, new ones getting even louder.
>If there were a soundtrack for your life, this would be the part with the slow motion tragic choir while the camera moves just fast enough to linger over every bit of carnage.
>Is there really no way out of here?
>Shit sucks. Never got to eat blue vag. Never got to get blackout drunk and get really weird at a party. Never got to see if that chaos guy was gonna come back for real and, if so, if he could die to a grenade. You'd cry if you didn't hate yourself enough to deny yourself that release.

>>43154966
>And outside this room, did the other spa survivors get out yet? Is Pinkie gonna die down here with you? She's been quiet and... normal, for lack of a better word, since the shark incident.
>Beyond the tunnels- They said the town could blow up. Probably an exaggeration, but by how much? Even if it's just the water/power plant, that'll be disastrous for the town for months. How many will die before water shipments start arriving? How many are dying right now under rubble? How long will the hospital last on generators?
>Hell, how many daysweeksmonthsyears will Equestria last if one or two of the elements is just... fucking gone? Can a group of bearers even be reconstituted or is this a once-in-a-generation, destined-defenders type deal?
>The weight of responsibility hangs like a lead noose. Idiot. Here at the end, and all you have is regret dragging you down further and further and-

>No
>You know what you got? Trixie around your neck. Not a lead noose, not at all.
>There has to be a way out, but how?
>Time starts to speed up again. The world shakes. A shining complexus of civic utility, one that must've taken a thousand ponies decades to build, is shitting in its deathbead. You can't just-
>There has to be-
>>Gravel smacks your thick skull. A tiny voice, raspy as death, whispers "I hope there's a next life. I can't bear to meet you only once."
>
>
>
>Yep. That's the line that breaks you. You currently have... NO last words. Because of a corny line Trixie probably took from a stage play. But goddamn, she meant it, and honestly? It's kinda pumping you up.
>>Sobbing from the blue sack around your neck. If you had to guess, she's probably been having her own flashbacks this whole time. That window probably isn't helping her nerves, is it?
>Yep. Her life gets defined by watching an escape artist drown, and now?
>Unable to escape a room about to explode- ain't life a bitch?
>Sad Trixie hurts your heart. More than heartache, now, though-
>Something about her situation specifically just cuts through the self pity and self loathing and selfish everything.
>She pulls a misdemeanor at worst and loses her job and house. Ponies blame her personally because how dare she not know she was shit-talking to the two kids who can't tell fantasy from reality. She gets taken in by a local weirdo who hangs out with the ponies she was fighting with, which makes her feel conflicted and useless and moochy and on top of that the green mare is kind of hot and she can't figure out how to say it.
>And then the spa day- all she wants is to bum a free hot shower, and maybe, if the stars align, it could turn into a real date. And somehow- oh, somehow it fucking does. Despite all the stupid, fucking SHIT that keeps coming out of nowhere- the pipes blowing, the flood, Pinkie Pie attracting a fucking elder god- the two of you keep skating by.
>Only to die now!
>It-
>It makes you.. Fucking mad.

>>43154987
>Your dad- your human dad, you never had a pony dad- liked to call anger a guard dog. Chain it up and it's useless, let it free and it invites trouble.
>But feed it, love it, train it, make it respect you? The embers of that will get you through anything, even if it kills you.
>God. He was so fucking corny, but Equestria likes corny shit like that.
>It's a place where silly old people making clumsy metaphors can be the coolest fuckers in the room. Where the government actually kind of gives a shit in a selfless and honor-bound way. Where a purple, chubby little nerd can stun an ancient warlock with her friendship doctrine long enough to cast Power Word: Fren. Where a borderline charlatan hobo can warm the hindquarters of a national hero with some line from- yeah she stole that from Hinny of the Hills!
>The idea that right now, all that could end? Not just you, or Trixie, but that right now could be the start of a chain of events that destroys such a strange and precious little corner of the cosmos?
>Failure is not an option. Anything less than 100% survival is unacceptable. Nobody gets left behind, not this time!
>Tear yourself out of her grasp, caress her face. No, do it right, take her face in both hooves. Gaze into her eyes as the world falls apart. Get lost in those eyes, so lost that death itself would never find you.
>It could be the last time, but not for lack of trying.
>Kiss her. Snap out of it, get to that bellows and PUSH-

>Imminent danger. Threat approaching: above and behind!
>You react to the rattling in the ceiling before you hear it- oh yes, the sound reached your ears, but you didn't *hear* it until well after the crisis. Fight or flight can be like that.
>A blue mare is thrown in a direction that you hope against all hope is safer than here.
>Scalding steam and shrapnel meant for her comes for you. Your leg is screaming red and you tumble head over ass, leaving you flat on your side farther from your goal than when you started.
>So get the fuck up. What's that, leg? Pain? Yeah, there's gonna be more of it if we keep sitting around.
>Get up
>No, really-
>As soon as you put any pressure on that leg, you feel only pain
>Oh, that damage might be worse than you thought. Maybe just- just- uh-

>>43154997
>*IMAGINATION TIME!*
>The ship of you is listing in hostile waters.
>The rearmost of four masts is cracked, a sail slashed.
>Little green fillies in littler sailor outfits run to and fro in a panic. Most are screaming about the damaged mast, a few are worried about the impacts to the bridge, some are even considering scuttling the ship and jumping off.
>Heavy footsteps. A frothy-mouthed chimpanzee in a frock coat and tricorne hat walks onto the bridge. The filly in the lookout post screams- why bother with warnings if we're just going to sail right into the threat!?
>He is flanked by a green mare with scarred legs and bad makeup, and the nicest, sweetest pitbull that ever had a piece of that mare in his teeth.
>The sailors look at their captain. The cacophany of random reports go silent, but the majority are still screaming about that mast. So busy screaming that they don't notice the support ship coming to brace the mast.
>What to do about that?
>Ponies like songs, don't they? Well-
>An imperceptible nod to the pitbull. His tail begins wagging. No- thumping a rhythm.
>A battle hymn of spite against the slow, crushing advance of the ocean.
>A chorus strikes up. A few of the mast fillies chime in, then a few more, then-
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTWMoTFYvZw

>Wake the fuck up. Holy shit, that was a weird dream- where are you? oh right
>Boiler room is exploding. Pretty bad time and place to fade out. Bottom tier, even.
>Can't feel your leg much- not complaining about that, but- wait-
>You've been dragged under a sturdy desk. Bandages are wrapping around your leg by the blue glow of The Great and Powerful Trixie.
>The light is fading- even she's getting spent by now. Working with thaumic glass like that is hard, you know that- wait-
>The glass? The glass! The pump! MOVE MOVE MOVE. Trixie will follow you, right?
>You look closer. Her leg is trapped- not broken but you don't have the time or strength to heave this box off her.
>Nothing much else to do. Kiss her. No like actually do it this time instead of getting half your leg burned off with steam- there you go!
"I love you, you stupid asshole. Wish me luck."
>Time to hurt yourself even more. Yay!

>>43155104
>FUCKING MOVE. IT'S FIVE GODDAMN STEPS YOU PUSSY. FIVE STEPS, PUMP TIL IT'S GREEN, SLAP THE BIG LEVER HOME! GO GO GO-
>Emerge from your bunker. Stumble through the pain. First step. Stumble again, this time due to more quakes.
>Eyes forward. Pick up a leg, put it down, try not to scream, done. One less step to go.
>Four, three, two, one-
>You hit the wall and grab the bellows. Aaaand-
>Nothing. IT WON'T BUDGE.
>Doesn't help that you can't put much weight on that back leg- fuck what now?
>Well
>Dead if you don't. Is gritting your teeth and forcing it really such a bad idea in that light?
>Well, dunno, let's seeEEEOW yeah that's bad. Dumbass. Now press on anyway, before it's too late to ever act again.
>You find yourself singing, for some reason. The pump moves a little- coincidence? Maybe.
>Blue light. Trixie's doing... something helpful. Must be- you don't know what, you don't need to.
>The pump's moving! A full pump has been... pumped!
>Sing a little louder. Feel a little less. Out the corner of your eye, Acneloosa finds the feeling in her legs. Limps to a console, smashes some buttons, some instrument in the plant's death song quiets down.
>Put your back into it! The needle's rising!
>More cows manage to get up. If you were paying attention you might notice them bobbing their heads to your tune, but sadly you weren't, so you didn't.
>Ho boy, these last few pumps are-
>The fuck is that sound? Oh- some needle is green now. Neat.
>Fuck
>This bellow is-
>GREEN NEEDLE?
>SHIT SHIT SHIT-
>You practically tackle the lever to engage the... thingy. Cut yourself some slack, ok? Long day.

>>43155105
I’m on the edge of my seat.

>>43155614
dyx is crushing anonmare with her heavy weight ;(

>>43155105
You can't leave it like this anon, this is the most cock blocking cliffhanger this year.

>>43155614
god i wish dyx would crush me instead ah hahaha

>>43155871
Sorry man I worked myself into a frenzy and now I'm falling over on 2 hours of sleep

>>43156308
rugby anonmare!

>>43156619
get this mare a 100 piece nuggies

>>43155105
Come on Anon! Save the day!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=yyH2GOFIErw

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Easter

>>43155105
>The damn thing sticks hard before giving completely
>Leaning on a fence one second, bruising your nose on the wall the next
>Nothing happens
>Fuck
>The air shimmers, a chunk of rock hits the ground behind you.
>Glance back- Trixie suddenly looks like she hasn't slept in weeks
>Back to the machine, why isn't it-
>Wait
>Subtle, smooth.... sound. Roiling. Steam billowing.
>Touch the machine- it's vibrating. Something's happening.
>The area itself steadies. As if all the instability in the pipes were concentrated right in front of you...
>Scoot backwards, just in case
>Crawl to Trixie's cave, hold her tight
>
>
>
>A boiling sound roars from everywhere to everywhere
>
>Then, nothing
>Open your eyes
"How... how has this place not collapsed yet?"
>Pencil-ear groans. "I think this place is more pipes than rock, really."
>>"Y-y-y-y-you don't know?"
>"Ha, get a load of miss performin' arts degree here- she thinks any of us knows!"
>Alright
>You caught your breath
>Start checking on folks
>Get the fuck up
>You attempt to emerge from safety, ignoring a weak blue light, but not ignoring the mouth on your tail.
>>"Anon, your leg! Stay down!"
>Oh right
>You somehow forgot-
>>"WHAT THE- LOOK!"
>Ha ha
>That's always great to hear about medical- whatthefuck?
>You glanced back but, that can't be right
>Double take
>Still the same
>Your leg is
>It doesn't hurt. The injury is half-healed. The deeper parts are scarred over, the shallow wounds are just... healed. Cauterized, you think? The bandages fell off and what bits are stuck on are charred.
>That- no, that can't be right. They stopped cauterizing because it often made wounds worse- you shouldn't just be fine after having your new bum leg burned shut!
"What- how?"
>>"Trixie doesn't know!"
"Aw come on, you don't have ANY ideas!?"
>>"Her education never covered this! Trixie thinks..."
>Her mouth screws up. Her voice catches a few times-
>>"Trixie... mmthi---- THINKS YOU.... thinksyoushouldaskTwilight GAAAAH OK I SAID IT!"
"...Yeah. If it helps, I hate that you're right, but yeah. We gotta make it outta here first, though."

>>43157551
>>It doesn't hurt. The injury is half-healed.
>Everypony/cow/goat caught in the pumpstation incident is now a ghoul and regenerates HP while exposed to magical radiation or pink dye

>>43157609
I like your idea and might roll with it, but I was thinking the fire of friendship can cauterize wounds

>>43157623
Nah I was just joking, don't turn this into Fallout Equestria.
So a bit like how Rarity's tail grew back in S1E02

>>43157390
Anonmare's fallen and she can't get up!

>>43157551
I love your green, anon.

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>>43157623
>>43157812
Agreed no need to go into that!

That aside Love how it's all going I believe in you all Anons!

>>43157390
UNFF

>>43157390
Nice.

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>>43152749
>does she taste like pistachio, wintergreen or salsa verde?
She tastes like green eggs and ham.

>>43159023
>anonfilly lives in an ayn rand novel
Truly some fates are worse than death

>>43159023
not green eggs and eggs?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPIjdkXIAp4

>>43159235
Wait how is this an ayn rand novel?

>>43152749
Cute marefailures

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>>43152749
she would taste like green apple jolly ranchers clearly

>>43157551
>Linger with Trixie a little longer. Outside her grasp: a world of wonders constantly teetering on the brink of annihilation. Dark forces convening unto you, for no known reason. Luck itself, lubing up to fuck your corpse.
>Here, though, is certainty. You have never been closer to death (in this life) than just now, and this blue fat-mouthed idiot never faltered when it mattered.
>Just a little more, and-
>>"Please remove the console from Trixie's leg. Before the lack of circulation causes local necrosis."
"Right- shit. I don't-"
>Acneloosa and Mooriel trod over and headbutt the heaving bitch off your bottom bitch with about as much effort as throwing a blanket off.
>Glance around. Yeah, a few cows are injured, but nobody's twisted over and lying in blood or anything.
>The goats are getting to work eating the rusty scrap and spalling- you'd guess it'd be better to melt and reforge it but what do you know? Maybe that's their overtime pay. Heh.
>Wait, are goats technically pets or people? Fuck- no time for that right now.
>Everyone's accounted for. A few casualties but no fatalities. You can't believe it. You still don't believe it. Nobody died.
>Pencil-ear stands up on a fallen machine in the middle of the room. Clears her throat, with a guilty look. "Alright- curse me all y'want, but you know we aren't done here."
>An agitated murmur rises from the workers. The kind where you fucking hate your life but you know there's no options.
>"Yeah, yeah, but y'all know the pipe clog was just the most pressing issue. Water system's shot to shit and I hope-" she sniffs the air near a punctured pipe, and you can see some nose hair falling out. "-HAYSUS COWST I hope nopony up top uses the water without checking it."
>You and Trixie share a look.
"Goddammit we're never gonna get clean at this rate."
>The crowd seems to have similar sentiments, but Pencils shouts them all down. "Now- the power plant ain't gonna blow yet, but we gotta get to work NOW if we wanna keep it that way. Kid-"
>She glances at Acneloosa, who checks a clipboard held by one of the suspiciously helpful goats, and responds- "Control pills made it to the main reactor, we've probably got a few hours before we-"
"Hold on- what?"
>Angry cows glare at you. How dare you make this meeting take even a picosecond longer than necessary?
>>Trixie shouts them all down with her practiced stage voice; "Glare not at the Righteous and Resourceful Anonmare- she saved your plots and presumes you'll be requesting further aid, so-" she glances at you, less bold or sure than 5 seconds ago- "uh, what exactly are you asking?"
"Just- if you want me to help, what the fuck does this plant run on? What exactly is the situation? I've heard of control rods before but- wait you said PILLS that time?"
>More rabble rabble, silenced by Mooriel mooing like a viking about to rape and burn a village. "SHUT YER TRAPS, I TOLD YOU SHE WAS GOOD FOR IT AND WE'RE STILL BREATHING! Now-"

>>43159893
>She glances at Pencils, who sighs and swears. "Yeah, yeah. You're right. KID- give the ponies a run-down while I get the crews organized. We'll have something for them to do in a bit. And, MOORIEL-"
>"Yep?"
>"Hope your leatherworks are still standing. We're gonna have a lot of... defective stock. Would hate for the organization to have to just, y'know, eat the whole loss."
"Defective sto- wait, pigs? Ponyville is powered by-"
>Acneloosa grins. "Pig shit, pig gas, occasional whole-gotdam-pig set on fire.... stupid little sons o' whores."
>Mooriel shouts with a surprising amount of spite in her voice, even for someone who knows the granny thing is an act- "Whole economy runs on pig parts- and what do we, the pig purveyors and wranglers and killers, get for it?"
"Diddly-squat, second class citizenship and being forced underground if you want to do anythingl other than sell milk?"
>"NO, YOU- wait, yeah. Shit. Kid, it's no fun if you can't pretend to be a shithead while I finish my rant." she huffs

>Acneloosa runs you through the basics of this madcap power plant. It's pretty simple, and similar to the idea of a steam turbine dynamo back on Earth, though with parts swapped around to account for magic and the apparent complete and utter lack of civil planning in most of Equestria.
>You actually manage to surprise her with how often, and accurately, you can complete her points before she does.
>Trixie has been silent for the past 10 minutes, ever since she pissed the cows off by asking why they don't just build a big fusion portal. Which- what? Ponies have fusion power?
"Okay, so, pretty obvious I get the basic idea, so uh- what's this about control rods? Or pills, or whatever?"
>"Hokay, normally, you control the pig feed to control their gassiness. Too much gas for Ponyville's power demands? Put more fruit and garbage in, shunt some of the gas into a different line or out the 'stacks."
"And, too little power? Pour cheese and cabbage in there?"
>"Ayup, got it in one. And if there's an emergency demand, that's when we bring out the apple juice and bean burritos."
"So- control rods?"
>"Conveniently, I can show you right now." She points out the window. A scratching post covered in what looks like beano pills is being lowered down to a swarm of pigs at the bottom.
"Aight, kinda makes sense... I guess...But what went so wrong with the, er, reactant?"
>"Diabetes."
"What-"
>"Well, when the spa blew we knew we needed to lower the gas since that big whirlpool wasn't sucking up energy anymore- and wouldn't you know it, our control rods were covered in so much sugar half the pigs immediately caught the 'beetus. Then they pissed on themselves, making them taste sweet, which the other pigs ate and now half the pigs are cannibals and the other half are dead of leg and dick injuries."
"Which means-"
>"Dammit, you were doing so well- it means we got a bunch of rotting pigs swelling with gas! Honestly, no idea how hoss thinks Mooriel can salvage any skin!"

>>43159905
This sounds both terrifying and perfectly reasonable, in a twisted cartoonish sort of way. Please, continue. How did they disguise the cooling tower, assuming it's on the surface?

>>43160079
I hadn't thought that far ahead, but let's go with the big mountain where the dragon was in Dragonshy. Dragon was totally innocent the whole time, the black smoke was just the mess from blasting out the aftermath of this whole ordeal.

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Princess Cadence's bitch sister, Anonymous

>>43160194
>Princess Cadence, princess of love because romantic musicals or smth
>Princess Anonymous, princess of random drunk booty calls?

>>43160194
very cute princess anonmare

>>43160445
Princess of messy breakups and realizing you still love her awhile doing 80 on the freeway

>>43160194
A lovely Anonmaricorn!

>>43160445
>>43160710
Maybe her name could be Anonymous Love. Princess of Anonymous love letters, and those who love fictional characters, and maybe the pure love without approach like admiring from afar.. That and stalkers.
Maybe have a fun alter ego called the Love Phantom.

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>>43160894
>Maybe her name could be Anonymous Love.
Could be Alovymous since it rhymes with Anonymous a bit.

>>43160898
idk why but this image of Cadance being titled large.png made me laugh

>>43160445
I much prefer the idea of Anonmare being the princess of Love but she thinks thats some gay bureaucracy shit and just dumps all her work on Cadence, who is the defacto princess of love, but is actually the princess of care.

>>43161504
A Family Gal Christmas

>>43160898
Princess Amoremous

>>43162382
the party hat makes it look like she has a unicorn horn

>>43162801
Washie wash :D

>>43163098
They are proud of their daughter

>>43160194
I love her! Princess of blind dates gone wrong! Why do I feel like she runs a phone sex hotline?
>>43160894
Princess of anonymous love letters is a cute idea too! I bet Cadance gets frustrated with her to no end for promoting love in fictional relationships.

>>43163098
cute anonpony family

>>43163161
>Anonmare ascended after getting married
>Celestia has no idea how to deal with the implications of ponies being fictional|
>Just tells everypony Anon has a different domain

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>>43160194
>"Your waifu is shit. NEXT!"

>>43164041
It's going to explode¬!

>>43164877
Double sevens confirm: while Pinkie was dealing with the rogue food taster on the Friendship Express, Anon was cleaning the microwave

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>>43152749

>>43162126
Working away on the business papers, hard life of a mare.

>>43159905
>>[INTERMISSION]
>Be Twilight Sparkle
>Wake up in an unfamiliar bed
>The lighting is dim and reddish and the air is stale
>Your mouth is as far from optimum wetness as can be- you're not supposed to make such declarations without a peer review, but dang it you have the cottonmouth!
>There's even a conflagratory sensation in your oxygen exchange organ
>Ok
>Enough big words- this is bad even for you.

>How did we find ourselves in this predicament?
>There's nopony around to ask, so you'll have to rely on ol' reliable: your big, pulsating brain
>Let's see- gave Anon the spa tickets, ran into Trixie, couldn't find a polite way to ask if they had been fornicating...
>So far, so normal
>AUGH
>You can't think straight with this headache and nausea and-
>Nausea. Right. Because the spa blew up, you were running to help, and you pushed yourself too hard.
>Then you drank sweaty soap water.
>And now you're here, in the....
>Look around. This room is a mess and you can't see a doctor anywhere. Please don't let this be the-
>Jolt upright and nearly out of your bed when Nurse Redheart surprises you from behind. "Twilight, you're awake? Pardon the... yeah you already saw."
>Buck. It's the hospital. So-
"Nurse, what HAPPENED here!? Where's Spike? Where are the oth-"
>A gentle but firm hoof pushes you back fully onto the bed. "None of that, now. You need bedrest. Relax, we have generators to last the week and the weather patrol is working overtime to get fresh water-"
"But-"
>"NO BUTS. BED, STAY, NOW."
"D'oh! Fine. Please bring my friends to me as soon as they-"
>"No can do, no visitors. Emergency measures."
"But I'm not contagious-"
>"Hospital's packed and we can't have ponies in the way if they don't need to be here. Sorrynotsor-
>>A golden sparkle and popping sound erupts as Princess Celestia herself enters the room from the exact center of it. "Twilight my faith- oh my. WHAT HAPPENED!?" She almost dropped her regal facade, but she didn't, because that would mean your entire worldview falls apart. Super great that it didn't happen.
"P-P-P-P-PRINCESS! YOUR HIGHJESTY! I MEAN YOUR MAJINESS- IMEAN ikindadranksoapwater."
>>"...Okay. I will keep this brief, especially considering I gave doctors the power to bop me with a newspaper if I too brazenly challenge their authority-"
>Her Highness glances towards the guards now flanking Redheart, one of whom is presenting her with the Royal Doctor's Bopper on a velvet cushion.
>>"Have you seen my sister? She was not in her quarters when I went to raise the sun, and I just found out the palace is missing an heirloom bottle of wine, three flame bellows and accompanying fuel, four whole mackerel, and a particularly piquant tangelo. The wine and incendiaries I don't care about, but that tangelo was from my favorite tree!"

>>43165401
Poor twily is gonna need that spa as soon as it's up n running. I wonder how the rest of the crew is holding up what with the towns explosive day.

>>43165401
>Oh, that passes muster. Okay then.
>Wait. No it-
>It's the Princess, everything she does passes muster, but hypothetically, if she weren't- it could be good to have data for future interactions, right?
"Wait- I can't help if I don't know- why is a single fruit so important compared to a missing princess? And when you said 'flame bellows,' did you mean those cranks that shoot Minoan fire!?"
>Oh
>You can feel the room darken as the Herald of the Sun sighs
>Maybe that was a bad idea. You catch Redheart giving that fossilized newspaper a few test swings.
>>"Twilight Sparkle... You're right. I don't tell you enough, and it nearly cost you your life when my sister returned more powerful than I expected. Where to begin..."
>Her Highness gazes wistfully out at the evening gloom. Ancient parchment, hard as wood, smacks against a guard's chestplate.
>>"I suppose I should begin by clarifying that it is actually four separate emergencies: My sister being the most obvious, however..."
>Oh dear, you don't like this at all.
>>Celestia's massive, elegant left wing sticks out as she counts off with her feathers. "The wine is incredibly expensive. A gift from the ambassador of Dionysia, and to not share it when they next visit would be a grave insult. The flame bellows are, yes, very dangerous when misused as the fire they emit cannot be put out with mere water. The mackerel and tangelo, however, are far worse as they have been used in rituals to summon horrors from outside our realm."
>Princess Celestia's face is hard as stone. In your peripheral, Redheart puts the paper back on the pillow and backs out of the room.
>>If it were anypony else speaking, you'd swear you heard a swear under her breath. "So, even the good doctor concedes. Drat, I was hoping she'd tell me I was crazy and chase me out..."
>Agonizing silence. You have no idea what to say. The guards are looking at each other nervously.
>>Finally, Celestia looks you right in the eyes. "Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student, I know you are ill but I fear danger approaches fast. A danger beyond our primitive tongue's ability to even describe. Ride on my back if you must, for we MUST gather the Elements of Harmony before it is too- OW!"
>Bap
>>"Stop-"
>Bop
>"Doctor Nurse Redheart, PLEASE, this is a national-"
>Bap bap bappity bap. "SHE WAS BROUGHT IN WITH BLEEDING LUNGS, YOU ARE NOT TAKING HER OUT OF THIS ROOM. I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE'S EVEN SPEAKING RIGHT NOW!"
>If you weren't in shock from seeing Celestia get assaulted with a 1500 year old fossilized news broadsheet, you'd be quite impressed at Redheart's perfect diction despite the weapon in her mouth.

>>43166524
>More violence. The guards...
>>"ow!"
>Well, they actually ARE doing their jobs flawlessly, assuming Celestia wasn't joking about doctors being allowed to attack her
>bap
>Still
>>"okayokaystoppOW"
"STOP IT, BOTH OF- owwwHAGAGAGA"
>You're cut off by a burning, coughing fit erupting in your chest
>Redheart stops her assault instantly, running to your bedside and fiddling with your IV.
>A few clicks and the pain is replaced with cool numbness. "Better?"
"ye"
>"Good. Now-" She turns back to the Princess, "See? I don't care what the emergency is, you can't take her out of here like this! You'll kill her!"
>>Celestia's face does something you've never seen it do. Shame? Is that shame on Her Highness's face? "I... I see. You're right. We'll just.. have to hope this theft was nothing so dark nor grandiose, and if it is, we'll just-"
>Another thing you've never seen before...
>>She avoids your gaze as she finishes. "Find another way."
"Princess? You didn't sound very sure..."
>Even Redheart seems shaken to her core as you point that out. A hoof to her chin in contemplation, her hippocratic oath surely clashing with her patriotism and self preservation.
>The guards, meanwhile, narrowly avoid voiding their bowels. You know because you've seen that look on Shiny before and bugged him about it until he finally screamed the real answer in your face and it made Cadance laugh harder than she's ever laughed before which made her come around more often and honestly what was he complaining about?
"And anyway, you said you didn't care about anything you said except Princess Luna and that silly fruit!"
>>Celestia just leans in close. "Dionysia, though a vassal of ours for a century by now, is strong enough to have real leverage in certain areas. Honoring local customs keeps them happy and besides that, keeps me just entertained enough that I don't go sticking my head down cannon barrels every time I hear an envoy announcing their arrival."
"And-"
>>"Minoan fire is a terrible weapon, it burns even on water and must be starved of air to be put out. Even so, the embers can keep smoldering for hours. I shudder to think what a criminal would do with one, especially a criminal bold enough to steal from the royal palace."
"But you SAID-"
>>"That I don't care about those. Which wasn't a lie. Compared to losing my sister all over again, or fighting a demon from the inky soul-sucking void of the Far Realms? Yes, I suppose I really don't care about those other two things."
>Oh dear, that's even worse than you thought.
"Okay. Nurse, is there anything you can do to get me-"
>>"Twilight, no. The doctor is right; had I realized how bad your condition is, I'd never have entertained the idea-"
"Twilight YES, unless you can take command of the Element of Magic and get it to harmonize with 6 friends you barely know.."
>>More silence, as golden gears older than your bloodline turn behind those wise and tired eyes. Then, a single word from She Who Speaks For Heaven: "Buck."

>>43166593
>The Princess's swear casts a pall over the entire room
>Stunned silence, even from the stony-faced guards; again, you know the difference from personal experience
>Redheart is the first to break the spell, though she says nothing.
>Silently she examines your bed and IV, no doubt thinking of how she can rig them to Princess Celestia somehow
>>"Twilight, are you sure-"
"Do you think the explosions, the horrible pink tar, the power going out and Princess Luna going missing are all related to this possible summoning?"
>>Celestia says nothing, her mouth hanging open. You don't know if she's more surprised that she was interrupted or that you were the one to do it.
>No. You know her well enough- she's afraid. Afraid because you put her fears into exact words. And you both know it.
"Okay then. As Rainbow or Anon might say, better to die fighting than crying about it.... Okay my throat really hurts though."
>
>
>>"Nurse?"
>
>
>>"Doctor N. Red-"
>"Can't be done."
"Pardon?"
>Nurse Redheart shakes out of her investigative fit. "Can't be done. I can't see any way to get you and this equipment onto the Princess without hampering her range of motion in her wings. We're gonna need a cart, I'm afraid."
"Well- that's still progress, right?"
>"Yes, but we'll have to take a cart from the hospital and I REALLY don't like doing that!"
"Well, I AM a patient."
>"Yes, or I wouldn't be entertaining the idea."
"Not even to save-"
>"You really asking that? Did you miss me smacking the Princess?"
>Elegant clip-clopping down the hallway.
>You know that pattern- it's Rarity!?
>Sure enough, a flawlessly styled purple curl peeks into the door, followed by a white unicorn mare.
>>>"Hello darlings- oh, Twilight!"
>"Miss Belle, we're not taking visitors right now, we can't deal with-"
>>>Rarity scoffs. "And I am NOT a common visitor! I'm working with the supply train! I brought more bandages and water, but-" She finally registers the Princess in the room and bows low. "OH! Your Majesty, forgive my impertinence, I'll just set these aside and-"
>A bunch of rolled bandages fly everywhere and a few bounce off Rarity's forehead, as she forgot to raise her head and watch what she was doing. Strange, considering her telekinetic dexterity exceeds even yours- maybe she's starstruck?
>>>"OH NO, oh dear, that was-"
>Redheart grunts in frustration and starts walking to the closest fallen bit of medical kit

>>43166659
>>Celestia graciously ignores Redheart's scowling, already moving to help tidy everything. "That was quite alright, Miss Rarity. In fact, your arrival is rather fortuitous, for I fear the Elements will be needed soon."
>>>"Oh. Oh no, that's not possible at all."
>>"Why not? I know this is a lot to ask, especially considering the state of the town and of Twilight, but she remains convinced even as I tried to dissuade her from helping."
>A short pause, as the music box in Rarity's brain tinkles away elegantly.
>>>"Well, that was ONE of my concerns, though now I'm worried Twilight has forgotten something quite important and relevant to the topic at hoof-"
>>"Pray tell- ask and it will be dealt with, personally if I must."
>>>"Um..."
"Rarity-"
>>>"It's just-"
"Rarity, if I have to yell at you I'm going to start coughing all over you. That's not a threat, that is merely a logical conclusion drawn from current variables."
>You're not 100% certain what Rarity said next, as the entire exchange sent you spiraling into a tinnitus-y daze, but you think it went something like:
>>>"Anon was in the spa when it sunk and is among the dozen or so unaccounted for. Also, Pinkie Pie hasn't been seen since she went to bed the night of the disaster. That was nearing TWO days ago, now."
>>Princess Celestia, metaphorical mother of ponykind, bridge between the days of yore and now, respected diplomat, feared battlefield commander, and your teacher, finally loses it. "OH FORNICATE MY RANCID ANUS WITH A DOUBLE-ENDED BATTLEAXE! NOW WHAT!?"

>>43166966
Could go for some Kirinese beer with a side of chineighnese.

>>43166663
>rancid anus
Ew, celestia. You should wash it more often.

>>43167454
Princess Celestia can't help it, that much sugar and carbs per day is not good for your colon. What, are you saying she should eat LESS cake?

>>43167714
No I'm saying she should wash her ass more often than once a week, nasty ass horse.
Be like Luna with her nightly bath routine.

>>43167442
yummy 20 piece nuggies

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>>43167993

>>43168362
sleepy anonmare

>>43166663
>Be Fluttershy (um) (ifthat'sokaywithyou)
>You've been holed up in your cottage. More than is normal.
>The last couple days have been
>Well
>It's just-
>Ooooh, you can't hold it in
>It's been just-
>LESS THAN STELLAR
>Oh
>Where did that come from?
>Well-

>First there was the terrible explosion at the spa.
>Then the horrible realization that your spa date with Rarity would be postponed indefinitely.
>Then the horribler realization that there must have been ponies still in there.
>And after that, the horriblest realization that you're a terrible very bad pony who cared more about a pumice scrub than innocent ponies being trapped underground for days with only tiny insignificant packets of granola and disgusting bathwater for dinner.
>You had to supersize your chamomile tea that night

>And the next morning was no better!
>You found out from Rainbow Dash that the spa sunk underground, that there were definitely ponies in there including Anon
>The rescue workers had to fight through a bunch of royal guards who were butting heads over there being element bearers and some kind of criminal cartel inside
>And even when they managed to get to the building, it was covered in some kind of sparkly pink rubber
>The town's water system is failing, but at least you have well water-
>Oh, nevermind, Rainbow Dash just took the entire contents of your well out as a cloud
>Well
>Surely the hospital and fire brigades need it more than you
>You can always boil creek water
>Again
>For double-mint tea

>Angel Bunny woke you up with a black eye- he's so sweet, doing his best to give you any scrap of normalcy in these chaotic times
>You were in the middle of the usual third remaking of his breakfast fruit salad when Ms. Mole tunneled up through your floor, screaming like Bulk Biceps
>Her whole family got eaten by.... a shark!?
>That makes no sense! Even assuming sharks had invented some kind of reverse scuba suit, sharks aren't meanies like that!
>They only eat what they need- it's dolphins and especially orcas who do all the ocean crime and let the poor hungry sharks take all the blame!
>You questioned her as hard as you could, but she was insistent that it was a shark.
>So, not only was there a critter-eating maniac fish on the loose, but it's also contributing to harmful stereotypes! You have to stop it somehow!
>But that wasn't even the worst thing yet!
>No, the worst part was when you couldn't make sense of Ms. Mole's testimony
>The events she was describing just didn't add up.... Until....
>Until you realized
>No, no, it's too horrible-
>Not even a black eye from Angel Bunny would-
>Ouchie
>Okay, two black eyes are enough
>It sounded like... Like she couldn't actually describe the directions the attack came from
>Like the shark was popping out of scenery or something
"Huh... Doesn't Pinkie Pie do that sort of thing?"
>>Ms. Mole starts nodding emphatically
>Sigh
>To Tartarus with the chamomile, it's time to take a faceful of melatonin with vodka

>>43170061
Yep flutters it's time to hit the hard stuff. Also I hope Ms. Mole can get her family back but I doubt it.
Sweetie Drops we need you girl!

>>43170135
Alas, she is too busy fighting Lyra over her box of fancy imported oats. (fancy meaning quaker instant fruit with cream packets)

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>>43170257
Lyra just can't help herself around the good stuff.. (also dang I need to pick a pack of those up later)

>>43170312
Are oats tasty?

>>43168181
Thank you anonmare

>>43170874
Mmm, that's some good food on that plate right there.

>>43170061
>the jabberjaw was visible to the animals, but not to the ponies
>anon might have saved untold numbers of ponies by doing that impression
Kino

>>43170582
honestly? not on their own. but oatmeal with fruit or a bit of sugar is great.

>>43172592
I bet she likes slurping long objects

>>43174351
cute! very smol anonpone

>>43175629
Mare is at war!

>>43175914
Call of Filly: Mare-dern Warfare

>>43175112
sad mare ;(

>>43170061
>Well. You can't go slamming sleepytime drinkable grain with company over!
>Nothing to do but to send Ms. Mole away with a So You're Just Finding Out You're A Prey Species pamphlet
>You escort her back to your porch with the pamphlet in tow. She'll be fine- any creature that has more than 2-3 babies at a time is hardwired to not care about losing a litter or two.
>That might sound cold, but nature is just like that sometimes. Wouldn't it be worse if Ms. Mole couldn't move on? She only has a few years to live anyway!
>Okay, she's leaving
>That's it, wave her off, smile, but in a commiseration sort of way not a ha ha way, close the door-

>Back to your kitchen, open the little cabinet
>You feel rather guilty thinking this way, but Applejack's recent... oopsie, gave you a reality check. The last thing the animals need is Fluttershy too sad, mad and tired to help them
>Okay, rummage rummage rummage-
>Purple stuff, deer urine, yaoi doujins, yaoi doujins, official yaoi doujin whiskey- Oh! There's the vodka!

>Time for a day nap- Harry can distribute the fish for one evening-
>"OW!"
>That sounded like a certain well water thief!
>Er- legally she's entitled to that water under emergency ordnances, so, technically a well water commandeer-er
>Still
>That's definitely blood you smell
>Better go investigate, before Angel Bunny screws up his diet
>Again


>Be Rainbow Dash
>11am, day 2
>Wake up
>Take a piss
>Have sensation in your head
>That's not a nice sensation
>In fact it's really bad

>Get out of bed
>World's super fast right now, but not faster than-
>Hit your head on the ground
>Remember you slept on an unsecured cloud last night
>Or was it technically this morning?
>Shit
>You've been running around constantly, fighting those cops, scooping up ponies as they crawled out of the wreckage
>Honestly it's a miracle you even made it to a cloud.
>A cloud you pissed on and is now drifting over Ponyville-
>Ha
>That's gonna be somepony else's problem GAH FOCUS

>Okay- brain turning back on. Give yourself the recap:
>Running yourself ragged.
>Not sleeping absolutely destroys you- yet Applejack has the nerve to call you lazy every time your cloud bed drifts near her farm?
>Had to manually run the filters for the hospital and WOW your hooves stink of blood and... uh, worse than blood.
>Might need a vacation day or two, honestly, but Ponyville can't afford you slacking! Not with half the weather team AND element bearers benched!
>Okay that all adds up, but one final question:
>What the buck is sticking in your back!?

>>43176607
That's one rude Anonfilly that Anonmare is ignoring!

>>43176853
>Be Fluttershy again
>You ran to your window to see none other than Rainbow Dash on top of a very, fatally, flat Ms. Mole
>You're not sure if the mole died on impact, but Rainbow Dash is rolling side to side like a stranded turtle and that would've finished her off either way.
>Ce'st la vie. At least you don't have to get your misericord.
>Sigh. You can't even be angry about it- you KNOW Rainbow Dash wouldn't do this on purpose.

>Oh, she's-
>She's still on her back, kind of flailing around in a daze?
>Keeps trying to look under her shoulder- probably mole bones poking at her.
>You need to check on her. Even if it would be poetic to let her squirm for a while, she seems really out of sorts. It's not like her to fall like this unless she's trying a new stunt.
>Grab the first aid kit off the wall. And rubber hoofies and a dental dam, unless you want a mouthful of mole bits and possibly pony blood on top.
>Trot out the door, take one step closer to where she lay on the dirt road, get immediately assaulted with the stink of cheap wine. O-o-o-of course.
>Get a bit closer and she's talking to herself. Slurred words, headache voice, yep. She's sloshed. Totally sloshed at a time like this- yes, you were going to drink, but you're not on the weather team and ponies keep taking your stuff and- OOOOOH
"RAINBOW DASH! You're drunk! No- don't get up, you'll hurt yourself, let me-"
>Your unrestrained emotional outburst gets Rainbow Dash flapping and flailing with renewed intensity, with a disgusting sloppy floppy sound-
"NO! STOP! You're going to ruin your feathEAGH!"
>A bit of gore hits you in the face and stops you mid-sentence. You're quite familiar with blood normally, but with the stress of the last few days it's enough to kill even your patience. Your ancestors scream in the back of your head- 'this is why we grew wings! so we wouldn't have to deal with this!'
>You run to your backyard where your collection of animal-sized bathtubs can serve as an eye wash station. Some of them even still have clean(ish) water in them!
>Meanwhile, you can hear Harry's heavy, grunting footsteps. Good, he'll hold her down, and he won't care about smelling of blood.
>Huh
>That's strange- there's a distinct lack of food bowls being thrown at you. Angel Bunny must be going with Harry.
>Even better, he'll scare some sense into that mare!
>You trot into your backyard, accompanied by the distant sounds of drunk mare abuse, looking for...
>Angel's personal tub! You boil fresh water for it every day. He won't even mind if it has some mole in it.
>Really
>He won't.
>...
>Anyway
>You scrub the gore off of you and run back to get your stuff. Rainbow is screaming, begging not to go to Angel's fun pit
>He wouldn't actually do that, but you can't help but chuckle at the righteous horror being inflicted on the mole squasher.

>>43177881
>Okay
>You've run back out to where your friend is trying (and failing) to escape a bear
>Hehe, he isn't even holding her down, he's barely touching her
>And they say Rarity's the drama queen
"Okay, thank you, boys. Nurse Fluttershy is on the scene, you can go back to your respective habitats now."
>Rainbow Dash manages a mostly coherent sentence, possibly her first for the day: "F-f-fluttershy? You gotta control that bear, he's a-" she pauses as Harry gives her the stink eye, "uh, a-"
"A perfect gentlecolt and dashing assistant, yes?"
>Harry blushes as he backs away. Angel Bunny, on the other hoof, has jumped onto your shoulder with his patented Lil Devil Grin.

>"Uh- shyeah,,, sure- ugh my head. Whaddid I land in!?" She half-heartedly twists around yet again, trying to check herself. "Feels like tomato sauce, smells like cheap Griffon coins!"
>Hmm
>Tempting to tell her right now-
>Sigh
>No, you're not that mean, especially not to the one pony who routinely sticks up for you even before Luna's return
"Don't worry about it- just do as I say. Now, relax- HARRY!"
>You hear a groan of slight exasperation rumble from the trees behind your house. Thud, thud, thud-
"I know I said you could leave, I'm sorry, I need your help for- OH! yes, that, thank you-"
>Harry picks up on your intentions and starts moving to turn Rainbow Dash onto her side before you finish, giving you clear access to her back and-
"Oh, poor Ms. Mole... At least it was quick," you whisper under your breath.
>"Whawazzaattt?"
"Nothing!"
>You can see muscles in her face tighten. She's side-eyeing you, even when forced to look away by gentle bear paws.
>Ugh, she won't stop squirming
"Rainbow Dash- just hold still! Honestly, Opalescence is a better patient than you sometimes!"
>Ah, now *that* got to her
>Brilliant manipulation, Fluttershy, just like in your Neighongo doomed love stories
>A few minutes of cleaning with alcohol swabs follows. All the while, the local rats and raccoons do a standup job of cleaning the... impact site.
>They chitter out: They'll leave the skull in the usual spot, for memorial services.

>A couple more dabs and.... well, she's still reddish. Stained fur. Nothing to do about that without running water, really. But she wasn't punctured and there's none of her own blood coming out anywhere.
>Still need to properly preen her feathers, or she'll be grounded for days
"Alright, now, let me just-"
>"Am I hurt? Fluttershy you gotta-"
>Harry puts her back on her back so you can leer into her eyes.
"I'm TRYING to save your feathers, Rainbow Dash. Unless you'd *like* to be stuck on the ground for days."
>"It-it-it's just- I saw thethethe- the mouth thing!"
"A preen-friendly dental dam?"
>"YES! They only use those when your wing's covered in-"
"It's not your own blood, Rainbow Dash. You landed on a recently widowed mole. I doubt she suffered more than a few seconds, before you ask."
>She opens her mouth, probably to say 'i wasn't gonna,' but thinks better of it.

>>43178049
>You get the dam in your mouth while Harry rolls Rainbow onto her belly
>Bit of poking and prodding- Rainbow's oil glands were always a little small and hard to find, and you're NOT putting that blood on yourself by trying to use your own, no ma'am, you have enough trouble lately!
>Scrub, scrub, preen, preen. She keeps her wings well-oiled, so there isn't much to do beyond scrubbing a few crusty pinions and wiping her wings down.
>Well, that, and ignore her every wince and moan.
"All done. That wasn't so bad, now, was it?"
>"Mmmrhrmrrffrrmr"
"And you're a motherbucker too, Rainbow Dash." you reply in a perfectly motherly voice. "Okay, are you going to fight with me more, or can we get off of the main road?"
>Squee. Nod.
"Okay, come on, get up, let's go to my backyard, we'll get you some fresh water."
>It takes a little while and a moderate amount of help, but you pull Rainbow up on all fours, leaving her shaking like a newborn deer.
>"Flutters, could I get some-"
"Water? Yes, I already-" sigh "Just follow me."

>Predictably, it takes three times as long to get there than it should.
>Rainbow keeps bumping into things, almost tipping over, or stopping to half-sob about Ms. Mole- it'd be touching if every instance weren't somehow gassing herself up.
>Things like "mare, that SUCKS, she goes her whole life without meeting me, and then her one brush with greatness is my fat flank crushing her!"
>Except, you know, with more hungover slurs. Both in the racial sense and in the I-can't-control-my-mouth sense. And more 'ow' and variations thereof as she bumps into things.
>Sigh
>Honestly, she cares more than you do- animals die. Even when they live long enough to die of old age, they still tend to die in under 10 years.
>That isn't to say you don't care- of course you care, animals would know if you were just pretending, and they'd pick up on that and never trust you!
>It's just- Loving every single animal like it's your pet is a shortcut to an early grave, but try explaining that to ponies.
>On the subject of pets, even domesticated pets only live maybe 60 years- much shorter than pony lifespans.
>You know what? You need to just tell this to Rainbow Dash. She's your friend, you've known her for years, she won't think you're a psycho who skins and/or fornicates with animals... Heck, if she did, it might improve her opinion of you...
>No, dummy!
>Okay, here's the backyard. That friendly visiting salamander has already dropped off a steaming pot of green tea, he's such a dear.
"Here you go, Rainbow Dash. Drink it all."
>"Mmmmk- asp- aspor- a-"
"Aspirin?"
>Nod nod
"No, I'm afraid I can't give you any kind of pills for a while, we need to make sure the alcohol is out of your system."
>"Uggg. I didn't get drunk last night!"
"I'm sorry but that's a lie and you know it. You STINK of cheap wine-" sniff, sniff, OOF that burns- "no, you stink of-"
>"Grapejoooose!"
>You're kidding
>This has to-

>>43178112
>You're getting nowhere, fast. Time for a different approach:
"Okay. Why don't you tell me what happened last night... or yesterday... or, whenever-"
>Sheepishly, she avoids looking at you.
"Rainbow. Come on. I can't help you if you're not being totally honest with me."
>"Was just Anon's- big- you know- copper barrel thingy."
>Celestia dammit, THAT'S why she smells like Berry Punch!
"So first of all, you stole from our friend-"
>"Water's all crummy, I missed rationing yesterday cuz I was- urp -wrangling foals away from a new sinkhole! It was going bad anyway, I did her a favor!"
>Sigh. You facehoof-
"You could have BOILED water instead of robbing Anon's brandy still!"
>"Nnnnope, donhave a- don't have a- no stove in my house. Cheap enchanted floor, won't hold a hearth..." She gives you that squinty, what-you-talking-bout look. "Hey wait. You said wine, now it's brandy, which is it?"
>Ugh.
"Brandy is boiled wine- gets more alcohol, yes? More wine per wine! You drank double wine! How do you not know that!? Even I know that and I only drink once in a blue moon!"
>Rainbow wavers and wobbles.
>"Heh, you only drink- only- drink once a season or something? No wonder you're so irritable, you must be su-hu-per constipated! That's not good for you, y'know."
>Ah. Hello, Mr. Eye Twitch, how have you been?
>One of these days, you're going to tie Rainbow to a chair and tell Twilight she can only achieve sexual gratification if she's given a remedial lesson on literally every aspect of adult life.
"Rainbow- just. Sober up, please. No, I don't want to hear it. Yes, you DID drink a gallon of liquor- I know it's liquor because I've had some before."
>"Woah woah wait, why is Anon sharing with you and not- ug- not me!?"
>Good question
>Probably because Anon knew you fairly well, long before Rainbow moved to Ponyville...
>Or maybe because Anon is the only pony you know you can trust to not go a little cuckoo when a bloodied animal needs help?
>Or-

>A cough behind you. The kind of cough that's meant to be a polite call for attention rather than expelling mucus.
>"Hey, whozat guy behind- oh, hey chief. Hey shkootz, hey ap'l- ap- farm horse. Swabthedecklebelle. Uh- oh carp. Crap. that's- hide me, fluttershy!"
>You turn around amid Rainbow's ramblings to find Ponyville's fire chief at your backyard fence, with a few foals in tow and a small orange pegasus trying (and failing) to buzz over to Rainbow Dash.
>Poor dear's going to break her head and your fence if she doesn't cut that out.

Is anyone else having issues with the site lately? Captcha/Post box keeps fucking up and timing out

>>43178159
Hot dang I've been trying to comment on your Green for HOURS, by that I mean thank you for writing and keeping it going love it. And DAMN chan needs to fix their shit.

>>43177338
Share your neck training, anon. You're holding a 200kg fatass there.
>>43178378
Yea it's been an issue lately. Not sure if with cloudflare, the captcha service or 4ching itself.
Wouldn't be surprised if some snoyjak script kiddies are fucking with the service.

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>>43178385
T-thanks, you too

>>43178159
>>The fire chief calls out to you, "Hello Fluttershy! Is- is that Rainbow under you?"
>Yes, yes it is- she must have dove under the table, but you don't have a table out here. You were just setting stuff on the ground
>Which makes you the table
>"Hide meeeeee" she whispers, as you look down at her rainbow mane right under your chin
>Sigh
>It's easier if you just play along
You raise your head back towards the fire chief. "Um- no? Just a-"
>>He scoffs. "Well- if she DOES come around-" he's looking right at Rainbow Dash, "tell her she's off the hook for the day. We don't need her working at half capacity, y'know."
"I'll be sure to tell her... was that-"
>>"Yeah yeah, now, m'sorry to spring this on you but we need you to watch these foals-"
>>>The orange filly squeals. "I'M HANGING OUT WITH RAINBOW DASH AND HER FREAK FILLYFRIEND!?"
>Freak!?
>FILLYFRIEND!? What, because she's cowering... underneath... your belly.
>Okay you can see why she'd think that, but-
>You don't even like Rainbow that way! AAAA you can feel your face turning red-
>Wait, does she think you have a-
>>"SCOOTALOO, you shut your mouth! It ain't anypony's business what two consenting adults do out in the woods-"
"W-wait, I don't-"
>>"ANYWAY, we need somepony to watch these brats- Cheerilee was doing it, but after the street in front of Sugarcube Corner caved in, the mayor took over-"
"There's not much food or water here and what I do have-"
>>"-the schoolhouse. 'Provisional Town Hall Emergency Command' she called it. Feh, politicians, y'know?
"And I don't have spare beds right now with all the hurt animals-"
>>"I couldn't think of anypony on such short notice, y'know, parents can sue over this crap, but then I remembered you were hanging out with Princess Celestia a few months ago, got some kinda medal?"
"It was a magical-"
>>"So who'd sue the town over leaving their foals with a hero like you, right? Plus you've got the creek for water-"
"I told you I don't have much stored right-"
>>"And you're not doing anything, really, and your home is completely off the grid so there's not like to be a sinkhole-"
"ACTUALLY, ALL THE ANIMALS HAVE BEEN FREAKING OUT-"
>>"Great, knew you'd be itching to help ol Ponyville in its time of need. I'll come by and pick 'em up as soon as we can find another foalsitter."
>He helps himself to the latch on your gate and three fillies, a colt, and you don't know what that one is, run into your house.
>Sigh
>Something tickles your barrel and belly- oh, right, Rainbow Dash is still-
"You can come out now, Rainbow Dash."
>A scream fills the air.
"Oh, seems like the foals have found Angel's fun pit. This should be interesting."

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>>43175629
reminds me of this old meme. and now I'd like to /r/equest anonmare or anonfilly doing this meme. bonus points if zero-text template.

>>43177881
I want to watch a comedy series about Fluttershy just going about her daily life and having little misadventures with this kind of vibe.
>>43179111
Checked and looking forward to more.

>>43179442
too fat and stinky

>>43179442
chonky mare

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>>43179450
For you

Gurrela War fare

Finish watching Gen 4

>>43180012
cute!

>>43180143
Nah, seasons 8 and 9 suck balls. There's good episodes through the entire series but I refuse to watch the student six slop.

>>43181092
anonmare cube 0_0

>>43179111
>Well
>"Fluttershy? Are you okay?"
>This afternoon turned out better than you expected.
"Why I'm quite well this afternoon. Thank you for asking, Rainbow Dash."
>The tea is doing wonders for Rainbow Dash. She's back to her usual, loyal self already!
>>A small explosion echoes from the secret pit in your house, rattling the windows just a bit. Scootaloo screams.
>"Fluttershy-?"
>Ponyville is on fire and the earth and sky are screaming, but here, in your little-
>>"SNAILS! BEHIND Y-" a filly screams, cut off by what might be a hammer
>"Fluttershy, seriously-"
>Top up your own tea with vodka. You don't even need to hide it- Rainbow Dash still doesn't believe you know what alcohol is.
>Neither does she, apparently.
>"FLUTTERSHY!"
>>"I'M OK- I'M NOT THAT FLAMMABLE!"
>Slowly, daintily, finish your tea. Set the cup and saucer down. Blink slowly as the fermented grain burns your throat and soothes the angry knot in your tummy.
"Yes, Rainbow Dash?"
>"Should- I mean- Do you- we-"
>>"OH MY CELESTIA HE FOUND THE KEROSENE!"
"Ohhhh. That?"
>She says nothing, letting her hanging jaw be all the answer you need.
"Don't worry. Angel Bunny knows better than to cause any... permanent harm."
>Rainbow's voice catches in her throat, a rattling, squeaking, wordless sound. Jaw still trying to hit the floor.
"But, since you're such a considerate friend, and so am I, I suppose it won't hurt to check on them. Come along-"
>You walk towards your backdoor. Curiously, you only hear one set of hooves- could Rainbow have finally realized she demanded you take her to the Fun Pit?
"Well?"
>"Hnnnnnng- COMING!"
>Clip clop clip clop
>Open the door, wipe your- no, that's not going to be necessary. You'll be cleaning the floors either way, tonight.
>The tall, lanky colt nearly knocks you over as he sprints out the door. Behind him, a metal puck with a mallet chases after, occasionally emitting puffs of fire.
>Ooooooh, that bunny!
>He knows better- where is he? He has to be within sight- up there! On the pantry! Angel Bunny stands there with an evil grin and a remote control.
"ANGEL BUNNY! COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW, MISTER."
>Immediately he tries to hide the controller behind him, forgetting it's bigger than he is.
"Don't try to play innocent with me, mister! You know the rules!"
>>That colt sticks his head back in the doorway, "oh thank goodness you-"
"No battlebots outside the fun pit! Come on, both of you, back to the-"
>>"W-wait, what? No, NO, NO HE'S EVIL!"
"Come on, try to get along, boys."
>Angel Bunny knows better than to openly resist, and the lanky colt- Snails?- is pretty easy to catch.
>He seems quite surprised too- oh, how easily ponies forget you can overpower a bear.
>Rainbow Dash watches in horror as you drag the colt back to his fate by the scruff of his neck, Angel Bunny riding on your back and rubbing his paws together.
>Ah, boys will be boys
>Down the little staircase to your cellar- back there in the corner, torchpoles mark Angel Bunny's Fun Pit

>>43181603
>You toss Snails in, making sure to aim for the pillows, and gently set Jerkmasher3000 down in the center of the pit.
>The other foals, who had hidden themselves under pillows, make a mad dash for you but you're airborne again before they make it halfway.
>Instead, they're left staring in horror at Angel Bunny, who climbed up his watchtower and is now-
>Strange, it's quiet. Usually he can't wait to play with new friends- what's he pointing at?
>Oh!
"Well, you know I don't like rough music on a weekday, but since you're having a sleepover-"
>>"WHAT!?" all the foals shriek at once
"I suppose we can make an exception." You say as you put Angel Bunny's favorite record onto the turntable.
>You trot back up the stairs as the opening notes of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFqjDXy9s5A compete with screaming foals and bonking sounds for your earspace.
>Rainbow Dash hasn't moved a muscle- still standing, mouth agape, just outside your doorway.
"Thank you, Rainbow Dash, I had no idea those boys were roughhousing in the kitchen. Shall we get back to-"
>"Fluttershy-"
"Rainbow Dash. You know how boys play- it's fine. You worry too much. And if somepony tries to sue me, I'll direct them to the fire chief who dropped them here without me ever actually agreeing to watch the foals."
>More creaking, wheezing wind. She stands there as a fly flies... out of her mouth? Okay then.
"Close your mouth, dear. You're, um, letting your flies out?"

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pre bed

>>43181817
lol

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>>43181817