1st for an injury free honest playoffs.

this is the thread

1st for hoping Bitchkinnon gets mutilated on the ice and dies

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4chan busted and slow as molasses?

Use the time to sign up for the official FREE NHL official /hoc/ bracket challenge league 2026.

It just takes a minute. It's FREE. You could win bragging rights on /hoc/ and maybe win a prize in the official Gary sponsored contests.

We have a whopping 34 entrants (proud of you kings) so far which is cool, but 40 would be better. Why haven't you signed up yet? You don't consider yourself a top 40 poster in /hoc/? 34 other people think they are smarter than you. You're not smarter than 36 Chambers? Some dude named 36 Wiggers has your number? StarOverTexas99? Some homer is smarter than you? "I AM INDIAN" "Samir1" "bud1_mitch1" you aren't better than these guys? You think you can't beat the Masketta Man? You think you can't beat some retard that calls himself Rodneyy with two Y's? You're don't have more puck knowledge than the guy that calls himself "Frottage Cheese"? You could be the 1 hit wonder that tops the charts, but ya have to sign up.

Make a meme name and prove to /hoc/ how funny you are. Playoffs start Saturday, brackets open Thursday. Get prepared and GET HYPE.

https://bracketchallenge.nhl.com/en/leagues/17788
https://bracketchallenge.nhl.com/en/leagues/17788
https://bracketchallenge.nhl.com/en/leagues/17788

now jamming out to Neutral Milk Hotel as a cooldown.

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>>154249747

If you’re a retard and a bight a ticket to see florence and the machine philly then I have some bad news for you because that show got cancelled.>>154249747

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Enwoye les boys

>>154249759
>beiouiox!!!!!

>>154249759
Tampa/Montreal is going to be so fun but I'm going to unfortunately need to root for Tampa because Quebec is full of faggots.

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My penguins (:

>>154249768
anon I don't blame you supporting the team because they're world class players and they have earned their place, but you have to realize you are, by proxie, supporting the people of Tampa Bay and Floriduh in general and that's just a really sucky thing to do.

Quebec is the homeland of hockey. You don't have to like it but it is the lesser of two weevils

>>154249825
kys russell crowe.

>fr*nch-ca*ada
>fl*r*da
can they both lose?

>>154249830
ew he's New Zealic. not authentic Aussie and isn't even eligible for citizenship here because he doesn't satisfy the requirement to demonstrate permanent substantial ties to the country.

also he bashed someone with a telephone

>>154249796
Hope we get one last Sid vs Giroux in R2

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Yeah my Kings are gonna get booty blasted in the first round but at least we're not Canadian

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>>154249759
Boo our anthem because you're jealous of a real country

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r8 me and/or h8 me

>>154249875
Retard

>>154249875
the saƒe bet is Dallas/Tampon but you're allowed to dream anon

>>154249894
When was the last time the "safe bet" ended up being the true finals/champion?
Something unexpected always happens

>>154249908
last year

>>154249908
idunno actually that's kind hard to determine. and I can't even remember last week

>>154249913
gary...

>>154249913
I think Dallas v Florida was considered the safe bet at the start of the playoffs

>>154249930
Sure, but the safe bet was Florida winning again and they did.

>>154249930
>I think
exactly.

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I think we have a winner

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why does it say missed required parameters when i hit save?

>>154249964
soul

>>154249972
It's trying to warn you you're way too far off the script

>>154249972
Did the same to me at first but I got it work eventually

>>154249972
>average game ending 6-4 and going 7 games

>>154249964
I think we would witness a live suicide if McDavid lost his third straight SCF to old man Crosby

>>154249964
I call this the “Crosby rapes Canada bracket”

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Good turnout so far despite /hoc/ and /sp/ slow as fuck now. Make sure to put the bracket league in the op.

thinkin the knights win it all.

>>154250029
Ground control to major tard
Can you hear me major tard?

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New Chris OC with Anzu

>>154250029
Retard

>>154250052
>tf
>tp
kwab 1993 2014

>>154250059
please don't post my bracket team's name. thx.

now copejeet cant talk about gonig to the moon anymore because a leaf has been to space more recently than his shit team run by retards has won anything lmao

oh damn I'm out of tabasco I'll have to use green cholula on muh pidser

>>154250059
kek you answered which implies you are major tard
thanks for playing!

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Last year I was 3 for 4 in the final four with Dallas, Carolina, and Florida all correct.

This year it would be REALLY nice if I could be proven wrong gary but you wont let that happen. You have a game to grow and goyim to exploit.

>>154250077
ya boilin

>>154250082
>carolina
>scf
cmtsu

>>154250090
naw he got you take the L

>>154250099
oh i don't take ls kwab

>>154250103
i wonder if he's the food/player pairing poster

hoc more like gay retard vagina avoiders LOL LMAO

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>>154250076
you should get some pickerel, it's delicious on pizza

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damn, I wish I could have squirted all over his face too

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>>154250121
kek

Won my fantasy league by 55 points. What a marathon 6 1/2 months of day-to-day roster management is. I won. I'm a winner.

>>154250130
but you could have spent all that effort and attention trading microfractions of bitcoin and now you could potentially have increased your fraction by $100 in a currency that you cannot exchange for money

>>154250136
Jerking off to my fantasy team winning is worth $104.52, so, again, I won.

>>154250130
You should apply to be the next Wings GM when they fire Steve

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Good to see the right message is being relayed to my players. Really must help team bonding.

>>154250163
I don't feel comfortable solving their roster and cap problems.

>>154250181
What is the significance of this twink faggot holding some random puck in the hallway?

about to go microwave some cordogs and maybe have some mint choccy after

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I just found out red velvet cakes aren't even made with strawberries or raspberries it's just chocolate cake with red food coloring what the fuck that's some jewish deception right here.

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>>154250185

8,086 goals scored this season

my damn package is a town over but says it won't be delivered until tuesday

>>154250193
fuck you faggot fucker. go suck some more faggot playoff-missing faggot's cock some more.

>>154250211
what's in your damn package

>>154250218
a vinyl record

Happy bud+4 to all those who celebrate

>>154250220
post your victrola

>>154250210
>gets the train run on him by literally every decent team he faced in the 25-26 season
kek...this is shorks..."future" kek.

>>154250227
cope i have a cheap but sufficient audio technica

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Lets go

>>154250225
thanks you too

>>154250244
Retard

>>154250244
retarded pad-flagged retard.

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>>154250249
Oh I didn't see the image download.

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here's what will happen.

>>154249964
Tie breaker 67 btw

>>154250257
Now that’s peak retard

My flames :(

>>1542502604
KEK how many games is the scf in your mind

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the REAL script

>>154250262
what the hell that's about as accurate as it gets

>>154250267
Retard

>>154250257
Wow did i switch time lines to planet retard

>>154250267
i'd be surprised if the mammary glandsies got out of the first round to be desu

>>154250273
very dishonorburu postu

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>>154250232
cope this is you

>>154250281
cope i don't hand crank anything

hand cranking myself at the present

A lot of people think the >stors will bounce the Avs in the 2nd but the >stors aren't coached by DeBoer anymore which is Bednars Kryptonite in the playoffs. And Avs completely crush dullass on 5v5.
PP of the Avs has been ramping up since Kadri came back so probably shouldn't get fucked by special teams either.

>>154250257
gary....plz

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>>154250303

>>154250302
neither of your faggot teams are making it to "the 2nd", so shut your cock slot and cry about it. faggot.

>>154250257
There will be so much crying about the playoff format if a Pacific team wins the Stan Lee

>>154250312
>Thinking Kings are going to beat the Avs in round 1
Mega retard alert.

>>154250267
Eat cock randy

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>>154250302
also, otter could carry now that deboer is out of the picture

>>154250320
maybe every game goes to triple OT and the kings somehow pull it off

>>154250320
>pad-flagged retard doesn't know that "his avies :)))))))))))))))))))))))" are the biggest 1st round FRAUDS of gary's era.
kek. retard.

>>154250329
*mario mushroom sound* :)))))

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Posted without comment

>>154250338
basedcific chads

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>>154250329

>>154250343
>y-y-y-yeah but that one gary covid year!!!!!
kwab.

>>154250343
it's 2026 now

I think my Mammoth are going to bootyblast all these shit teams

Got banned from reddit :(

Welp i'm driving to utah next week for my sisters graduation. Might try to catch a game.

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>>154250348
>>154250349

what did he mean by that

>pad-flag is swinging for the fences and striking out
kek. embarrassing.

HEY EH EH

COME OUT AND PLAY

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>>154250358
I wonder if the Mammoth still have the fan-friendly concession pricing

>>154250376
>plz come to our games...plz....
Arizona should have tried this shit.

>>154250372
offspring sucks

>>154250376
>>154250378
Mormons don't like the drunk rowdy sports arena atmospheres but it makes sense. Their draft beers are reasonably-priced and you get a cool pint to take home with you according to my roomates

>>154250267
>>154250252
>>154250257
>>154250082
These so called (((anal)))ysts are predicting that if the Habs pass through first round then they have a shot at being in the finals.

>>154250144
and now you can get a fortchanne gold passe

>>154250338
Pacific reparations for Calgary not making it last year despite having more points than Montreal and New Jersey

>>154250389
>analysts
>from canada
we call that cope here

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>not a single one of you has simulated the Bruins getting past the first round
we'll show you

>>154250381
I WONT PAY I WONT PAYA NO WAY EH EH EH

>>154250362
Moving the goalposts.

>>154250406
we do that here

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>>154250395
Those analysts also predicted mostly from Sportsnet and TSN that habs would get swept in first by laffs back in 21. That was the last time I remember laughing so hard.

>>154250414
sora would be a nucks fan

>>154250414
they btfo my knighties that year :(

was that the year alan walsh and fleury decided to blow up the room with the sword picture?

might go grab another beer and get baked lads

>>154250421
based

>>154250421
I wish I still had gummies but instead I'm destroying my biome with wine and IPA tonight.

Oh and destroying mine ears with headphones which get louder and louder as the sauce goes in

>>154250421
Might finish this last shot and get baked bro

>>154250462
pops me everytime

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I didn't know they had shrek cum there

FUCK cilantro

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>>154250415
Kingdom Hearts in Mighty Ducks universe when?

>>154250492
Probably never, it'll be all pixar/star wars/marvel/live action shit now as Disney decide what Disney worlds they can use.

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>>154250480

Chipotle, more like Chipotegay lol

>>154250477
its not bad as a complement to the spicy salsa

>>154250508
>Gretzky 4 cups
>Howe 4 cups
>Lemieux 2 cups
>McDavid 0 cups

Fucking embarrasing really.

rank 1 on the bracket challenge bro's

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Got some oatmeal and when I finish it, it's COFFE time

Celebrini will win all the cups and art ross trophy awards. People wont remember Mcdavid

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>>154250528
huomenta :DDDD
don't forget the vodka and cigarette

Drunk and playing air guitar bros im ripping it

>>154250528
more like finnish it amirite

>>154250554
played my irl guitar today

HEY EH EH

COME OUT AND PLAY

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>>154250566

>>154250570
YA GOTTA KEEP EM SEPERATED

You should get a dj contoller. Girls these days are into djs not guitarists

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peekaboo

>>154250575
girls are gay

>>154250575
jaying dee is so fucking soulless

>>154250508
>>154250521
How do you market a superstar for the league who never even won a single cup? Doesn't matter how many times you've won a Art Ross or a Hart trophy I don't think normies even cars about that.

>>154250575
Sick, i can rip my limp bizkit songs

>>154250602
based dj lethal fan

>>154250604
Kek, based RIP Otoo

>>154250614
>john otto
TAKE EM TO THE MATTHEWS BRIDGE

Gretzky won the cup in year five. Celebrini will do it in year four

>>154250633
Celebrini is the one kid in the group project who does all the work and everyone else masturbates and nods along.

He'll turn to drugs soon. Especially if anything happens to his beloved Will

>>154250633
>>154250642
Would he ever able to win a cup in a poverty team?

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>>154250655
It's impossible

This time I'm gonna let it all come out
This time I'ma stand up and shout

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IMA DO THINGS MY WAY
IT'S MY WAY

my way or the highway

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OOOOOOHHH WRITTEN IN THE STARS

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HEY EH EH DON'T PAY NO MIND

YOUR UNDER 18TEEN YOU WONT BE DOI NG ANY TI-E-IME HEY EH EH

COME OUT AND PLAY

THE OFFICIAL /HOC/ BRACKET CHALLENGE ! SIGN UP NOW!

https://bracketchallenge.nhl.com/en/leagues/17788
https://bracketchallenge.nhl.com/en/leagues/17788
https://bracketchallenge.nhl.com/en/leagues/17788

>>154250736
oh that shit sucks

>>154250731
>>154250744

>>154250744
Nah u do queermo

>>154250731
>cm punk
>finn
>rhea
>trick willy
>brock
>penta
too many faces in my list. who wins as a heel? maybe jade wins. i hope for a kino punk heel turn for punk/roman.

If the canucks chose Jt Miller over Pettershit they would be in the playoffs

>>154250759
Literally the only match worth watching is oba/brock

>>154250752
nah the offspring is dogshit

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CAST OFF THE CRUTCH THAT KILLS THE PAIN

i knew a guy who liked billy talent. his nice wife died of cancer a decade ago.

>>154250803
kek based

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>>154250777
man how nuts is it to think the first (and actually last) hoccie game I ever had was NHL 95. I stopped playing video games very young so never continued with it.

cant sleep bros, busy thinkgn about pucks

>>154250821
no games today bro

>>154250803
jej
>rags

>>154250803
Rip the Coping Bozos on R/Rags.

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>>154250821
>thinkgn about pucks

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>>154250642
>masturbate
more like have their way with him

>>154250655
Impossible, look at Oilers.

>need to sleep but cant and didn't get home from traveling until 1:00am today and just now hitting the optimal levels of drunk and stoned

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reckon this was our king

>>154250841
this gif genuinely made excess blood flow to my penis fyi

>>154250864
>massively downboated
i kneel

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>>154250866
how slutty is he do you think

>>154250841
bedard acting so tsundere here

>>154250864
Yeah, kek.

i am drunk one-eying everything

>>154250913
literally same lmao
t. eye is closed as i type this

>>154250919
based and same

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>>154250885
he's the sluttiest slut to have ever slutted

>>154250864
The rags last game was in tampa the other day and some dude made a thread like "will cuylle gave my daughter a stick" so i asked how old his daughter was and they didnt like that so then i explained that usually they give sticks to little kids not 20 year old girls and that cuylle probably wants to fuck his daughter and they didnt like that either and the guy was like "gross dude shes a teen" so i said "maybe you shouldnt be blasting pictures of her all over the internet" and that REALLY pissed them off

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>>154250947
jen!

>>154250947
based. fuck those coping bozo pedos.

bought new slippers this week bros, shit is so cash

>>154250965
i co?uld use some house slippers bro, what did ya get?

>>154250947
>and they didn't like that
>and they didn't like that either
>and that REALLY pissed them off
first ballot imo

>>154250968
Dearfoams, they're less than $25-30 at Walmart

>>154250980
thanks bro!

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>>154250947
all this shit needs to stop. titty teens being slutty in the stands at actual games is so fucking not on. give pucks and hockey sticks to little kids and make their day, and ignore everyone who's going to go home and stink their bedroom up later that night.

>noticing teen titties in the crowd during hockey games
Whyyyyyyy would a guyyyyyy....at this hour of the night, come all the way from New Zealand to comment about underage girls breasts? You see how this looooooooooks?

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>>154251040
straya m8

I'm up at this hour taking a diabolical marner

>>154251061
oh we don't call those that here now

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>>154251040
We love U18 girls hockey here. We are always keeping an eye out for the next Bilka.

>>154251058
is it true you guys love lasagna? I lived with an aussie this past winter. great dude, had a bunch of great drugs, but would always make a killer lasagna.

Pretty gay & pedo up in here

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>>154251131

>>154251097
cherish that memory anon, lasagna in Australia is generally fucking vomit inducing. of course people cook nice things at home, but if you see "lasagna" on a random menu anywhere it's fucking horse shit. they don't use cheese inside, they use glops of bechemel which isn't even seasoned.

Australia has a lot going for it but food is a goddamned rollercoaster

>>154251163
it's the north/south italian immigrant divide. american lasagna is neapolitan or sicilian or something (and superior).

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>>154250803
imagine if /hoc/ was genuinely this gay
im glad 4chan has hard limiters on making sure this can never happen

>including anime in post to contradict my first statement

>>154251176
This checks out actually. I met an Italian recently who said pizza and coffee in Australia is much better than where he's from, but he said "oh well, not if you go south, but definitely most of Italy". Weird.

>>154251163
>>154251176
gonna miss day-drinking and cooking lasgne with that dude. It was so fucking good.

>>154251176
Why are northern italians so shit at cooking? Arent they the rich fucks?

wheres jen

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Jersey kid
Jazz guitarist
Options trader
Poker player
Published author
Math wiz
Secret formula ranked Jesper Bratt 3rd best OA in 2016 behind Matthews and Laine
The man, the myth, the legend

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>>154251176
>>154251260
>>154251275
To be fair my papa (maternal grandfather) was descended from some town near the Swiss border and he made amazing sauce and left behind a whole shoebox of great recipes.

Very unrelated but pic is his harmonica, which his grandfather bought in Switzerland for his father, which he inherited and then my mum gave it to me.

>>154251316
that man is from india

>>154251316
New Delhi Devils

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>>154251432
I also would have accepted the Delhi Delis

and yet

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i went full retard
go sunbelt :D

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>>154251721
this is sadly what's going to happen, and all those fat southerners who don't even know how hockey works will piss on our icy, O6 graves

>>154251721
mildcuck aint gonna like this

oh fuck it's almost 5am rocky mountain time lol
Utah might win a few games but oh man, Utah cops are gonna be on the prowl for the next few weeks buds, especially in the city. its gonna be an absolute shitshow but have fun.

>>154251819
https://youtu.be/681j5hocckU?si=HioXeqyHt6EtIGaq

Idunno man I spent a few days in Salt Lake and the city was completely dead for normal people (like, actually dead, not even occasional cars passing after 5pm), and yet homeless people were shitting and pissing along every fence and curb. Cops? Unconfirmed.

I was making my way home from work and on the Osaka metro they had news Colorado Avalanche had smashed their previous franchise points record.
Also it was on some news program briefly.

>>154251857
It's got some good shit though. If you're not a club dude, there's tons of dive-y fun joints around the city.

mormon heretics OUT

you can pick your friends
you can pick your nose
but you can't pick your team

>>154252084
>Macklin's mantra

>>154252084
the Flames picked me

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Hot take coming through, don't mind me

>>154252127
I wouldn't rule this out, this actually might happen. I would hate to see Dallas get there but I would hatemost to see Lightning get there. Interesting.

the scf is going to be ducks vs bruins isn't it

>>154252127
Dabres cup would be kino and spiritually would end 1993

>>154252127
Dallas aren’t beating Avs.

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allow me to enrage most of you, with my bracket.

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I even made a nice little mock promotional poster

>>154252127
cringe
>>154252191
grim
>>154252196
cringe

>>154252191
Sovlful SCF, and I'd be okay with the outcome even as a dabres fan because I'd be okay with McMeme finally getting his Cup

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Pretty weird scheduling Gary

>>154252231
get a load of this cuck

>>154252231
i'd like the soilers to win but if the soilers don't win i want the dabres to win

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>>154252251
You should kill yourself

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>>154252260
i won't

>>154252297
...yet.

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>>154252297
Well, your loss I guess

Leave society, be a monke
Collect some sticks, Find a tree, and move into it

>>154252186
5th times the charm, right? lol

>>154252387
dullass don’t have Debore this year.
So they won’t play shitty turtle hockey and clog up the neutral zone.
That and dullass have been PP and Shootout merchants this year. Shootout doesn’t exist and refs are more lenient on calls as it’s “play off hockey”

Had a frosted honey bun and mocha monster coffee for fastbreak

>Kings make it in as an extremely undeserving 8th seed
>Face a presidents trophy team that's been to a final in the past few seasons
>Anze Kopitar has his last season
Bet the over on the kings NOW

on this day 4 years ago bud 1 and has kept the streak going for 1461 days

April 17 2022
there was a bud1 in the streets tell me where were you

>>154252705
Here in this very hockey general watching the gruesome act take place

>>154252616
its going to be kings vs oilers in the conference finals with kings winning and going to the cup

>>154252732
trb took stephen's load right to the face

>>154252705
Disney World, Animal Kingdom. It was a hot day and we left early to have Easter supper.

A reporter asks this question to Matthews.

"For yourself personally is this the place you want to be or would reject the suggestion that you should not be here going forward?

"Yeah... I think all that stuff there is always noise and chatter ummm I think personally I don't pay attention I just focus on myself and on this team and try to be part of a solution."

What my Captain would say is " I am the Captain of this team. I will be back and fully healthy and I will lead this team to the Stanley Cup Playoffs and win it all!"

"I want to be here, I love this organization and I will do everything in my power to win in Toronto! This year just remove it from history. Next year we go to war! I am honored to wear this Jersey and cannot wait to get on the Ice to win it all for this organization and these fans!"

This is what I want to hear from our Captain.

>>154252612
Yum. For me, it’s orange monster

>laffs

>>154252826
literally the worst one, the fuck is wrong with you?

trb prefers the budston cream doughnut if you catch my drift

>>154250947
Will Cuylle is gonna get traded for a better player

>>154251316
Imagine your shining claim to fame is finding Jesper Bratt

>>154252853
>trb
righto, enough is enough. who exactly is trb anyway

>>154252870
never post here again faglord

>>154252870
You need to lurk at least 7 seasons before posting

>>154252844
I’ve always liked orange soda

xhe rb is the guy who lost to bud. his legacy

Sunny Mehta sounds like a dude who will be fleeced constantly but get loved by faglords like GayFresh because he brings in players who are "analytically good" but can't score/can't defend

File: gosh.gif (597 KB)

597 KB GIF

>>154252877
>>154252879
oh gosh

>shartattle
At least it's a progressive and diverse city

Speaking of bud
All the trees have buds :)

>>154252934
And most of the buds have trees :]

finna filter australia

>>154252616
Unbelievably kino

>>154252826
For me it's Ultra Zero white. Orange isn't bad but it's far from the greatest. (I also really like Khaotic and Strawberry Dreams, but don't tell anyone >_>)

Real zoomer hours

>drinking artificial sugar slop
none of you retards can skate

>>154252796
>laffs

>Florida is locked into a top 10 pick anyways
>Toronto has the 5th overall (for now)
>blues can move up twice in the top 15
Fully expecting the rags to win mckenna

>>154252870
It's their cute inside joke. Don't bother with it. I know what it is, but it's not even funny. It's like a boomer reference from 20 years ago for them.

>>154253001
JLMI

>>154252870
It's just the resident queers queering off.

File: trb.png (3 MB)

3 MB PNG

>>154252870
>>154253019
>>154253027
>xhe rb bubblin n boilin on vpn
KWAB1

>>154252870
worst poster in /mlb/

>>154253027
shit gimmick

>>154253019
this is exactly what I assumed as obvious, good to know, thanks anon.
>>154253027
mhm

>>154253027
Thoughts on the anniversary of bud reaming you?

Mother fucker google doc

Mother fuckers saved my post on a google doc

dad opened the damn package

waiting by the phone hoping I get the call for one last Mania payday