Dude you are in your 30s and you are FAT. Stop daydreaming about being a football player.

CB

>>154266583
I want to be very technical

>>154266604
Makes sense. Don't have to run as much eh?

>>154266571
I think it's time to sell drugs if you want to make money

>>154266583
Have you recently seen Neymar?

>>154266571
The stands

can't score if you cover half the net

>>154266571
Walk everyday, stop eating two spoons of carb, play some chess/starcraft1/aoe2, jog 3x week
Midfielder

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>>154266765
>play some chess/starcraft1/aoe2

I used to be Diamond in SC2 does it mean I can be Modric?

>>154266623
>>154266610
>>154266604
You losers are brazilians, why don't you speak portuguese you dumb fucks? Stop pretending to be british.
(I will admit something, I have a small penis, it's 5" , 12cm)

>>154266873
are you japanese-brazilian?

>>154266571
Generally speaking, centerback. But it depends on your actual strengths and skills

>>154267151
For real, right? I wonder if it isn't something like that, it might be the native-american genes manifesting hard in me. Do germans have a uberdicht?>>154266765
I love playing aoe2

>>154268376
BR native americans are very asiansl
they also look like japanese with brown skin

>>154266873
>I have a small penis, it's 5" , 12cm
Maybe you're a grower, not a shower.
Only kidding, no such thing.

>>154268434
Oh so that's the origin of my small dick. It's really hard to please a girl with my little guy, that's why I don't have sex anymore, too much effort for too much trouble.

>>154268681
I am a grower, my dick flacid is insanely small. 5" is when he is hard in all it's glory.

>least deranged braziloid thread

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>>154266571
Center back or Goal keeper

>>154266836
My dick size affects my self-esteem. If you are Diamond in SC2 you can be at least a Paul Scholes, or one of those barcelona midgets with their love triangles. Now look, do you have a big penis? Because if you don't , you will have Jonjo Shelvey levels of self-steem.

>>154268915
Americans have big dick, therefore I respect you.

I have killed this thread with my dick jokes hehe. I'm proud of myself, but I really do have a small dick. You guys are so weak minded ,couldn't handle a bit of theatrical fun.

>>154268681
it is a thing but a "grower" will only be able to compare with other fellow tiny dick buddies

>>154266583
Please don't talk to ney like that

>>154266571
Centre back, classic 10 or maaaybe centre forward if it fits your team well. DMFs and wide players need pace and stamina which you obviously won't have.
>cb
Good positioning and reading of the opposition's movement is the key. There won't be much running back and forth. You can hoof the ball forward anytime without being judged.
>#10
Ideally you should be mobile but it's sunday league and we all know how that goes. A sluggish player in the middle can be tolerable and you can avoid defensive duties. The catch is that you'll need great spatial awareness to turn around, find players quickly and cope with the pressing from the opposition. Ideally you should be able to protect the ball, turn around and pass to a wide player or a forward very quickly.
>cf
Circumstancial because a fast striker who can receive through balls is usually the meta for amateur sports. But in theory you could be a pivozão target man if you have other competent attacking players to support you.

>>154266571
Start training and lose weight you fat cunt

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>>154266571
the charity match

>>154275861
>But in theory you could be a pivozão target man if you have other competent attacking players to support you.

I like the sound of that