previous thread >>1888973

Commonly asked Questions.
How do I get to Varrock?
A. Go north. Then turn west. Then south. And finally east.
What is copy pasta?
Something which annoys noobs.
Who is BIG DADDY JAGEX?
He's a big guy.

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I want to have sex with Dang

>>1962197
runescape boobies

>>1962264
So does everyone. You have to wait your turn.

>>1962320
Damned straight. That's what we like to hear. On topic posts discussing the only thing that really matters in Runescape.

I do hope we get more OSRS tourists during the leagues. The screams of people who can't understand something as basic as an action bar will be music to my ears.

>>1962418
Yes, and the screams of people who haven't yet met BIG DADDY JAGEX.

I know I'll have a day or two at least before getting to the combat tier but as a noob to rs3 should I go necro? It seems like everything I can find talking about them are necro if new and melee otherwise. Is it also true that the prayer t7 is kind of a noob trap since you're probably dying to mechanics so I should go the funny book?

>>1962824
I think necro would be pretty boring this league, no fun buffs or loot variety but I'm biased cause I'm just a relatively new player that's just been playing with necro

>>1962824
Necro is definitely best for new players. Prayer relic is also good for new necro players- spec relic is bad for necro as it only has 1 spec you need to worry about so the only competition is the book relic, which is best for magic. prayer relic will massively help with survivability

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I'm a new player but I want to use leagues as an excuse to throw myself at more endgame content to see what it's like since I am taking it slow and casual like on my main.

I have not tried playing without revo++ on, but I have enough braincells to read a guide, and I think necromancy looks absolutely sauceless. Is there any reason not to go melee?

Let's have a go at it.since Leagues are up.

>>>/vg/539238939
>>>/vg/539238939
>>>/vg/539238939

>>1963424
necro is just really accessible and incredibly easy to play thats it
if you like melee go do that

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>original 2006 fossil island/anachronia design doc had tiktaalik
we were so close to greatness

>>1967450
sauce?

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>>1967631
On the map in the released design doc
>Acanthostega / Tiktaalic
>Fish with legs

You can read the rest of it on the wiki, it has some pretty interesting stuff
https://runescape.wiki/w/Fossil_Island_(design_document)

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I miss DarkScape :'(

I was thinking about coming back after 5 years and I saw they added a bunch of 110 skills and 120 mining/smithing. What's up with pvm after Telos now? Are there more mandatory prayers and shit to grind/buy again? thx

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>do leagues
>do the Laniakea cutscene again
>remember how much I want to rail her
such is life

osrsbros why dont we have a coom slayer master

>>1969106
bro konar is right there??

>>1969106
>>1969116
Nieve x Laniakea
nothing brings the internet together quite like porn

>>1968825
darkscape was just proof that this sort of thing would never work, or be popular with more than an ever-dwindling playerbase

>>1970828
chickenman doesn't miss you either, asshole

>>1971809
*guffaws*

>>1979991
The threads here were kind of nice before /vg/rsg/ was revived for Leagues, though I appreciate the dumb noob jokes

>>1982701
no board is safe from the guffaws

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I am doing the Necromancy Tutorial, and remember that Ted is a trans skeleton, ftm.
I zoomed in on the pelvis, and it's wide.
Is Jagex secretly BASED?

>>1979991
discord has been a disaster for this game's community
you can find the last scraps of actual discussion on reddit and even there it's becoming apparent rs3 is basically dead
leagues reanimated this corpse for 2 months

>>1983854
the only thing left to do for you is take your meds

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>>1979991
Yup, that's quite the digital necromancy (huh) that's being displayed here. Also, bonds are have been sky high - skilling does sound relaxing.

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>>1984533

>>1982781
holy shit was I wrong?

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>>1962264
Who is Dang

Hahaha!
Yes! Yes!
Guffaw!

Holy fuck! All the noob jokes are gone! I guess that just means someone else is going to have to tell them.

So, anyway, there were two noobs. One was stupid. So was the other.

Oh my aching sides! Laffing so muchly!

>>1989305
Make Runescape great again!
#Bring back analposting!

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>>1989325
>>1989787

>>1989800
Log into Runescape
Instinctively my anus begins to tighten...
in...fear.
FEAR!
My anus live in FEAR!

>>1989800
the things i'd do to that mouth of hers
god damn baby she can fit my cock and balls and still leave room for her tongue to caress my member
mod blkwitch if you browse this god forsaken thread or even lurk 4chinz, i want to fuck you, you're not the best in the looks department but its just something about the average britbong slag that makes me diamonds as fuck
Im dripping pre cum just thinking about it

>>1990517
Damned straight. Many hours of happy humpy pumpy right there.
She is what we in the trade call a "Prime Porker"

>>1990517
of course mod blkwitch browses these threads. she's the one that keeps posting all the "guffaws" and whatnot. the original "BDJposter"

>>1990616
Holy Runescape!
And there I was thinking Blkwitch would keep my squeaky clean ass safe....but you are saying she is the one who would take my anal virginity!
Lull me in with that great gaping gummy smile, swaddle me in her ample bosom smelling of old porridge and bacon rashers, and then, when I was feeling all nice and cozy and safe, brutally penetrate me with an outsized walloping great monster whopper! Violently thrusting her heaving talleywhacker ever deeper into my most private orifice!
...
Oh the Humanity!
THERE IS NO GOD!
Not here, not in Runescape, not in real life!

>>1990654
how haven't you noticed she's been the one raping you all along?! how could you possibly mistake that face for anyone else's?! i mean, i know that's how all british women look, but cmon!

>>1990669
Well I guess...but you know my bot would just be minding its own business, mining some iron or chopping some yews, and all I would know was something had gone wrong. I would hear it squealing in agony. I would leap back to take control and suddenly experience the most excruciating pain in the butt. Usually I would black out. Until now I had no idea where it had come from.
Now I know it was her all along I am beginning to find it oddly hot. Other than the excruciating pain. Wonder if I can talk her into some penis reduction surgery?

>>1990701
no, because she only buys massive dragon dildos off baddragon.com. she would never buy a smaller dildo to use as a strap-on, because smaller cocks (and human cocks for that matter) don't satisfy her. this is the main reason why runescape players get fucked so hard while trying to play this game.

>>1990801
This would explain a lot of things then. The devaluation of skills, rampant inflation, shitty quests, graphical inconsistency, immersion breaking cosmetics, pride events, and rampant homosexuality.
To think all this time I just blamed it on corporate greed and incompetent developers.
Well that really sucks, but at least now I now the true cause of all the Jagex jizz leaking from my bumhole. From now on I will be carrying a bucket on my runescape adventures.

ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

Why was the noob screaming?
Didn't like being cooked in a microwave.

Hohoho! What a stupid noob! Laffing my ass off!

Thinking of returning after a long break. Used to love scamming and luring back in the day. Is that still possible?

Not worth the squeeze desu. Too many extra hoops to make the mark jump through. Not enough new players. Besides everything outside some rares is worthless.

anus status: afraid

Why all the noob hate? Noobs are great, they bring fresh blood into the game. Its always good to see a new player and help them out.

>>1991837
very afraid
terrified even.

I never stopped being a noob

>not played since necromancy came out
>almost 0 content added since
The fuck happened? I know the hero pass bombed but how the hell has the content additions since then been so tiny and shit.

I got to say that most of the posters on this thread have real personalities, even if that is telling stupid s fuck noob jokes and talking about anuses.

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>>1993512
>hero pass bombs, game loses a massive chunk of players
>jagex goes into panic mode because hero pass was their "brilliant idea" to immediately increase revenue and player count in the short term
>jagex was trying to increase these things in the short term since jagex was listed for sale and they needed the numbers increased long enough to sell, lasting consequences be damned
>hero pass had the adverse effect because any retard could have seen that coming
>unfortunately, jagex is far beyond retarded
>in their panic mode, jagex only focuses on releasing a fuckton of temporary events laced with FOMO to try to bait as many players into returning and spending money on the game as possible
>again, only looking for immediate returns to boost the numbers so they could sell jagex
>lasting consequences of the game be damned
>this continues for a long time, dealing more and more damage to the game
>jagex finally sells to CDC
>the damage to the game has been immense due to all the time spent doing nothing but temporary events laced with FOMO
>player count is at an all time low, hardly any new permanent content has been added to the game
>jagex now has to figure out how to do undo the damage they did to the game during this time
>spend a fuckton more time simply trying to undo the damage they did rather than adding new content
>any new content that does get added only serves as an attempt to undo the damage they've done
and that's where we are in the timeline. they're still working on trying to fix the damage done to the game (and of course a lot of their "efforts" are because of pressure being applied by the british government lol, not even because jagex is smart enough to tackle the big issues plaguing the game), but they have come a long way since the shitstorm that was hero pass. we'll see if this keeps up, but it's always smart to bet against jagex because they're ran by some of the most genuinely stupid fucks you'll ever meet.

>>1994467
Hahaha! Yes! Yes!
Such is the length and girth of BIG DADDY JAGEX that he can FUCK himself up the ASS!
Chortle!
Snicker!
Gurk!

>>1994467
Wow, that is actually insane.
It's no wonder the previous manager got canned.

I had an ironmeme main but quit the last time they did that unlimited porter shit
have they made ironman into actual ironman yet or does it still get cheat shit like that

>>1995059
you say this, mod blkwitch, because you want me to picture you shoving a dragon dildo up your own ass. well, it's working, and now i've pictured that. i am not a fan of this mental image. it's haunting my memories. dear god, help me

>>1995106
not just their previous manager, but they cleaned out a bunch of the retarded jmods that were actively detrimental to the game too, like mod jack (who always rejected ALL player feedback and forced the game's direction in ways he and only he wanted, despite the playerbase constantly begging him not to) and mod fowl (a diversity hire troon that did nothing but added LGBTQ+ stuff to the game despite the playerbase's protests). so there's actually a good chance the game will improve now, especially combined with the UK government cracking down on jagex's predatory MTX on top of it. but we'll see if jagex manages to fuck things up yet again. every time it appears jagex has their shit together, they fuck up horribly again, even worse than before. it's almost impressive how quickly they blow good will.

>>1995218
so they fired all the troons?
i haven't played since 2017, did it really get that bad?

You guys know we are back on /vg/, right?

>>1995236
once leagues is over the threads will die and we'll be back here

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>>1995230
i don't know if all the troons are gone, but the worst offenders like mod foul are. enough that it MIGHT actually be safe for children to play this game again, because i genuinely wouldn't trust them being around devs like mod foul.

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>>1995236
im banned from /vg/ right now for "posting off topic" in a different general even though i was literally discussing the game. /vg/ janitors are genuinely some of the worst faggots on this entire website lol

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>>1995293
I appreciate the fact that he, a male, felt the need to censor his nipples. Pure fucking delusion. I also like how Jagex had no problem with one of their developers posting pictures like this. What good representation for their company.

Game companies are like whores. They just go with whatever way the wind blows. They happily sold the game out to appease the tranny/gay trend in the past twenty years. Now the shift is towards conservative ideology they happily hang their fag pets.
Which is great, for now, but it also means once some other social fad becomes popular they will sell out in that direction as well. Whatever fuckery is trending, and Jagex will be there at the very front of the line, licking whatever boot has the most shit on it, and telling their customers to enjoy it too.

>>1995198
You must pray to Dang. Only her visage can expunge the dreadful horrors which inhabit your mind.
Just staring at her tiddies is good enough. Here, let me help you with this >>1987539

How about that? ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

Q. Whats the best way to drive a 68 ton M1A2 Abrams tank over a noob?
A. Very slowly.

Hohoho! Very slowly! Laffing so muchly!

>>1995908
wtf, those big titties made me cum immediately?

>>1996947
But of course!
Bet you weren't thinking of Big Daddy Jagex.....
OR WERE YOU?????

>>1997402
no, because my anus was not quivering in fear when I blew a massive load at the sight of dang's big bazoonga fun bags. whenever I think of Big Daddy Jagex, I do no cum, I just become terrified. my anus usually gets violently raped shortly after too, but ive come to learn that's simply what playing runegame is like these days.

>>1998166
Well thank Heavens for that! I was a bit worried.
And yes, my bumhole also experiences dread when I log in. Sometimes when I play Runescape I notice something is missing. Its my bumhole, its run off to hide under my bed.
Makes it a bit awkward when I want to take a shit.

I am getting gosh darn tired of all the anti-noob sentiment all disguised as "jokes" on this thread. Listen, noobs are good, I like Runescape noobs, in fact I have even made up a little song about noobs. Here are the lyrics.

"Noobing" by Anon
I am a noobing
Noobing it good
I am a noob
Noobing like a noob
Cos that's what I am
A fucking noob
Sometimes I sit on a cactus
And feel slither it up my ass
Cos I am a noobing
Noobing it good!

Thank you! Thank you fans! My next song will be out soon. Its called "Pickin' cactus spines outta mah ass"

I am a noob and I resent all these "laffs" at my expense. I am a good noob. I want you to know that, I mind my own business and dont worry no one. I even squeal into a pillow when Big Daddy Jagex fucks me up the ass. Just so I dont disturb other players. See? Aren't I good?

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>>1989294
Someone's runescape oc, dunno why there's an anon shilling for her though. There's other npc ladies, especially that elf related to the lost grove. Speaking of trees, looking forward to the next bloodwood tree event. Getting chins and bloodweed sneeds are fine.

https://secure.runescape.com/m=news/mtx-experiments---what-happens-next

We've learned a lot from these Experiments - from the potential benefits and reality of our direction, to understanding negative side effects it could have for some.
>From those learnings, we're finalizing our plan for the future of the game. Our goal is a sustainable, Membership growth-led trajectory for the game.
While a significant reduction in MTX is a large part of this, we're thinking bigger. Our plans are also considering how we might address some of the core challenges in RuneScape - like UI, Visual Identity, Onboarding, Game Health and more.
We'll share a deeper look at our findings and takeaways on October 27th 2025.

Whenever you see a statement from Jagex think of a bunch of wheedling flouncy little faggots, smirking as they compose their message.
"That will keep the dummies happy!"
Then they all pull down their pants and indulge in yet another round of mutual cock slurping.

Its fresh! Its the daily NOOB JOKE!

What did the concrete truck driver say when he drove over the noob?
"Stupid fucking noob"

Haha! Jollies! Laffing!

>>2002441
i'm inclined to agree with mod blkwitch here >>2003395
i want to believe this could potentially lead to an end of an era where my asshole will no longer be raped every time i log into runegame, but i've been burned by jagex way too many times. i just don't believe they'll ever stop assfucking us at this point.

>>2005330
Wait, what do you mean? Runescape IS being assfucked. That's the whole point of the game. Doing stuff like quests, gaining xp, and bossing are just means to that end. Are you trying to say there was a time when logging into Runescape didn't mean having your anus thoroughly reamed out? I have trouble imagining that.

>>2002441
Heard this shit too often. Never amounts to much.

>>2005476
there was a time, yes... it was a beautiful time back in the days of RS2 where i could enjoy runescape and my anus was always at peace. sure, there were times jagex would rip my pants off, bend me over, and just go to town on my asshole without my consent, like when they added the trade restriction. but for the most part, my anus was safe. i was happy playing runescape. it was an actual game, not just a rape session. it all changed when squeal of fortune was added to the game. ever since then, i've been anally raped by jagex every time i logged into the game. i'm not sure why i even bother logging in anymore knowing all it means is jagex is going to blow a fat load in my asshole without my consent. yet i log in anyways. i just don't understand it.

>>2006612
I hear you and I feel your rectal pain too much. For me it was the removal of risk. There was a time when fucking up meant you got your ass raped. Not by Jagex though. By the game itself. There was a real sense of danger. Make some stupid noob mistake and you lost your shit.
Carrying a shit load of valuable gear and get killed by some monster?
TOO FUCKING BAD!
Oh? You decided to wander into the wilderness and you got pked?
TOO FUCKING BAD!
Some guy offered to double your money and you got scammed?
TOO FUCKING BAD!
The loss was real. It hurt. It hurt bad. It hurt like a red hot poker being jammed up your butthole. But you learned. You came back after a rage quit. You became wiser, More wary, more experienced. YOU WERE AN ADVENTURER! BY GOD! You could take the knocks and get back up. Again and again! And through the losses you grew stronger, richer, and more powerful.
It was emotional. There was real fear and a sense of dread as you tried to extricate yourself from a sticky situation. Heart pounding in your chest as you ran from pkers. Sweat on your forehead as the boss cut you down to 1 hitpoint.
A sense of excitement when forging through a new area with new unknown dangers and possibly great rewards. A feeling of accomplishment when you learned some new method of doing something. A shortcut, a money making method, a new combat tactic, etc.
But that is all gone now. Those slimy Jagex faggots listened to all the fucking stupid noobs who got scammed, who got pked, who lost their shit. Fucking cry babies. Fucking vermin. Fucking stupid whining dirty little noobs and those cock gobbling Jagex mods with their new age hugs and kisses. Noobs and Jagex ruined the game. They created the Big Daddy Jagex monster we see today. Rampaging across the land and fucking every anal opening in sight. Its a disgrace.

I just know playing Runescape makes my anus hurts.

Well goodness me, it must be time for a NOOB JOKE!

Three noobs walk into a church and begin to pray. But then God strikes them all down with lightening, burning them to a cinder.
The priest asks God why He did that.
"Nobody likes noobs" says God.

Oh hohoho! Oh my sides! So much laffing!

>>1962197
I only play for Dang. Dang is love. Dang is life.

>>2008429
proofs?

>>2010544
Good question. I will try to answer your inquiry to the fullest possible extent.

1) When logging into Runescape I experience a deep throbbing sharp probing pain in my rectum.
2) On many occasions when traveling though Gielinor I will be ambushed by a creature known as "The Big Daddy Jagex" and suffer intrusive harm to my ass.
3) Sometimes my anus will be found hiding under my bed, sobbing, due to the physical and emotional trauma.
4) Other players have commented on the Jagcum constantly dripping from my butthole. This is very embarrassing as well as being highly uncomfortable, messy, and a potential slipping hazard.
5) When I sit down its like someone has shoved a lit firework up my bum.

I hope you find the above provides a satisfactory response to your inquiry.

>>2011045
Why does she look angry?

>>2011045
My lust for that wench knows no bounds.

Packed Parcels of Puke! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

How do you instantly turn a pot of boiling water into liquid shit?
Throw a noob in!

My head is falling off with laffing! Haha! On my!

>>2011331
she's very angry at all the rape jagex carries out on a daily basis. she sees all the anal devastation and becomes very mad. that's why she's made it her mission to save the anuses of runescape players everywhere. it's why mod blkwitch fears her. our holy prophet, dang, will one day bring salvation to assholes everywhere in gielinor one day.

Quick, we must send out a SOA.
Dear Dang! Save our anuses!

>>2012852
I like it when she's angry.

since blkwitch rapes anuses of every runegame player, does that mean she also rapes the assholes of the few women that play runegame? thatd be pretty hot actually. maybe BDJ isn't all bad...

>>2006223
It always happens around this time of year too because the goyim's premier membership is running out
>we'll fix everything!
>please buy another 12 months go- i mean, loyal players!
>loljk here's more pay to win shit

>>2013854
>the few women that play runegame?
Those are trannies.

>>2014570
Hahaha! Yes! Yes!
Buy your Wonderlube™ now!
Snigger!
Chuckle!
Guffaw!

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Guys
GUYS
Im starting to think the league power might have been a mistake on Jagex's part.
Hope they learn for next time.

>>2016186
can't you be the one to supply the wonderlube, mod blkwitch? why should that fall on me when i don't even want your massive dragon dildo strap-on shoved up my ass?

>>2016446
Wonderlube™ has become ridiculously expensive now since leagues started.

>>2016675
you are as dumb as jagex is just the other side of the coin.

>>2016993
>I am a niggercattle turbo shitter redditor

>>2017141
nooooo it was hero pass!!!!

>>2017181
>Should I just quit RS3
yes
>focus solely on OSRS
lmao

>>2017142
Noooooo! It was Big Daddy Jagex!

>>2017181
I wish it would die once and for all, but it realistically can't sink much lower because anyone still playing will eat up any low quality slop that Jagex churns out

Well paint me pink and put a cowboy hat on my head! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

What did the noob say just before he removed his own head with an angle grinder?
"I am a stupid noob!"

Laffing! Fancy doing that! What a stupid noob!

>>2017141
Yes, we got fucked.

>>2017309
yes, that's what BDJ does with his monstrous tallywhacker

Butter me toast with lard! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

What do you call a noob with a degree in advanced mathematics?
A stupid fucking noob!

Hoho! Laffing ass off! Haha!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sZ1IKBuGX8

How is RS3 compared to OSRS? Only ever played the latter.
What are the major differences and advantages/disadvantages of each?

>>2018965
Lol, only the worse loser retard could watch over an hour of some schmuck blabbering shit on utube.

Oh right, you do. Lol.

>>2018988
Good question, one that surely has never been asked before.
Okay, we will attempt to break this down for you as best we can. But for context we need some background information. How would you feel if your anus was suddenly stretched out by a massive penis? With no lube. Right when you were least expecting it. In front of your family at the dinner table with Granny. How would you cope with gallons of Jagcum leaking from your ass and not being able to take a normal shit again?

>>1962418
Leagues? LEAGUES? DID SOMEONE SAY LEAGUES??? OH MY JAGEX I CAN'T WAIT TO PLAY THE SPECIAL GAME MODE WHERE I DO LITERALLY ALL THE EXACT SAME THINGS ON A NEW ACCOUNT BUT FOR DIFFERENT POINTS THIS TIME! HOLY FUCK I'M LEAKING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.

>>2019272
>I would always pick RS3
>Because I enjoy having a big dick up my ass.

>>2018581
>noob has a degree in advanced mathematics
>can precisely calculate the exact rate you get BDJ'd down to the nearest thousandth using nothing but the TPM rate and your RPH
>you still think this noob is stupid and has no value
sis...

>>2020107
Yeah but I am not sure he could calculate the exact TPM rate and RPH without also accounting for relative wind speed, ambient humidity, and the friction-less glide factor that only comes from using NEW IMPROVED WONDERLUBE™!
Now with added absence of existence for a silky smooth bum rub!

>>2020396
>I think this might the universe telling me to just play OSRS instead lmao.
You lucky bastard.
Talk about dodging a BDJ bum bullet.

Gazooks! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

What do you get if you cross a noob with a dildo?
A fucking noob!

Hilarity! Laffing so muchly! Hoho!

>>1986120
>skilling does sound relaxing

Yes. It is the only thing worth doing. Assuming your skills aren't all 99, which would be a horrible fate right now.

I came back four-ish months ago after leaving in 2009. I even bought membership this time so I could have all the skills. Even in 2009, as a free, I couldn't be fucked to do anything except whatever it was that got you to the, I guess you would call it free end of story. Even then it was because a friend encouraged me to. I just want to sit around and skill. 95% of my time now is skilling, 1% is quests, other 4% is trying to figure out what the hell this game even is now.

>>2007327
For real Bro. They removed the adventure from the game.

did the BDJ poster get banned or something? where's his ass at

>>2023118
Let's hope they stopped them, for now. They got banned last thread. Don't know if they just ip evade or what

>>2023177
Ah shut the fuck up you boring ass cunt. The BDJ poster brought much needed life and hilarity to rsg.
>>2023118
I miss him Bro, I want to hear his guffaws again.
I also miss the anime girl poster. Always a suitable pic for every response.

>talking about yourself in third person

>>2023220
>miss the poster who just slammed the thread and didn't contribute to actual talk about the game

Feather my skippers! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

What's the difference between a piece of string and a noob?
The piece of string is useful!

Haha! Oh goodness! Sides splitting laffing!

oh, there's the BDJ poster. what gives... why did he miss a day...

cancelled my sub
I'm fucking bored now of everything
think ill probably just kill myself

>>2024370
can i have your account before you kill yourself

>>2024370
You cant do that, Mod Blkwitch would object. She likes her holes to be tight and warm.

>>2023118
Hi there! I am Professor Runescape. I believe I can address your inquiry.
I think the BDJ poster is more than one person. There are just too many different nuances, variations in language, style and structure
I believe the the whole BDJ meme has grown, evolved, changed into something much more deeper than just one anon relentlessly shitposting.
The BDJ now represents an ideology, a way of life. Its a commonality of shared experiences and attitudes. Its no longer an individual but a collective of like minded people who are bound by shared cultural values. Bound together by a witnessing the wholesale ass fucking of players in Runescape by Jagex.
I believe the sheer power of the meme has reached the point where BDJ now verges on the brink of forming a consciousness independent of human input. Forged in the fires of relentless anal intrusions.
Yes, that's right. A monster. Created through sheer force of will. A monster capable of independent actions. A monster which can not be constrained through human intervention.
Its a nightmare come to life.
Therefore any guffaws, sniggers, and giggles you might encounter on these hallowed pages may come from an unearthly source beyond the mere physical dimensions of this Universe.

May God have mercy on us all.

>>2025917
you spent time writing that instead of going outside and talking to another person

>>2027713
When historians explore the origins of SCP-4771-1 in the centuries ahead, they will point at your post as evidence of the time the BDJ monster which was created and unreleased upon Mankind.

>>2025917
are you trying to tell me the BDJ poster isn't actually mod blkwitch, but multiple anons on runegame general? you're saying that all this time it hasn't been our queen? she isn't one of us, lurking in these threads, but rather it's multiple anonymous individuals? this... this can't be... all these years of fearing mod blkwitch... and you're saying she isn't to blame...

Is there any point in doing the league if I start this late?

>>2028229
No, its much worse than that I am afraid.
The BDJ poster may have started as Mod Blkwitch and then spread to anons, but now a terrible thing has happened. A terrible terrible thing. Something which Humanity has never faced before.

You see such was the power of the BDJ meme, such was the force of the combined consciousness of all the posters, such was the slobbering delight of Mod Blkwitch as our rectums writhed in agony, that the BDJ has become its own CONSCIOUS ENTITY
!!!11eleventy!!!
From our collective minds we have created a MONSTER!
My God! What have we done?
The BDJ no longer needs us, nor Mod Blkwitch. Its exists on its own accord. It makes its own posts. It rampages through Runescape, feeding upon fear, devouring our ass hurt, and posting here to laugh at us!

For reference its a bit like that "Monster of the ID" from the film "Forbidden Planet". Only in our case it doesn't zap space marines. No, it just fucks our asses instead and then guffaws about it..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0n1nsTAzJ4

>>2028314
why couldn't we have done this to dang instead of BDJ posting? imagine if we could manifest dang as her own conscious entity. we could then take turns fucking her. that'd be so cool. i want to have sex with dang so bad. she's the best canon official jagex created runescape character

>>2028714
I know...I know...it is surely one of the greatest sins ever committed by Mankind. We could have been having hot sweaty mind-blowing sex with Dang, cushioned deep within her ample bosoms, her ample thighs locked in a death grip around our waists, listening to her moans of orgasmic delight driving us into a pumping frenzy from which an ejaculation erupts with the force of ten thousand suns going supernovae all at once.
Hnnnghh! x (very large number)
My God, and we gave that up just to create the BDJ monster instead!
How hideous!
Personally I blame this tragedy on a lack of faith. We should have prayed more to Dang. We should have given more support to that Anon who went on a holy quest into the lands of Old School Runescape to find Dang and return her to RS3. We should have posted more pictures of her, especially ones showing her tiddies.
But alas! I fear its too late! Now our asses must pay a terrible price.

>>2028314
Or Safe Surf from Pantheon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1osAGtqzWUw

>>2029077
I think you have just introduced me to something I need to watch.
As a reward please take this "Dang Invocation" prayer.
insert>Dang Invocation prayer<
I have been keeping it for a special occasion. I suggest you use it for that too. Like, when you are alone. At night. Late at night. And no one is watching.

>log in
>spin 3 huge lamps for 240k runeccrafting exp
>throw protein logs in bonfire and get about 100k exp from challenges
>log out
feels good being a f2p spinny.

>>2029573
At the end of the day though you have to ask yourself "Why did I even bother doing that?"

>>2029573
Then within a year or two you will get idle xp just for having an account. You will not even have to log in to earn xp, and if you do log in there will be some new shit that rewards you will not a few measly hundreds of thousands of xp but millions of xp instead. Along with a shitload of free stuff.
Then you will rant and rave about "easyscape" and how hard you had to graft back in them good old days, lol.

Dig me trench! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

Three noobs walk into a Runescape police station to report a scam, a lure, and dupe.
The cop looks at them and says
"Fuck off you stupid noobs!"

Hoho! Laffing muchly! Stupid noobs!

Honestly I like this thread. It has noob jokes, the usual Jagex shit talking, some creative writing ( like the old forums ) but best of all it has no deadbeat fuckheads wanting to discuss the game.Fuck off to plebbit is you want game discussion, or just wiki the answer you want, fucking braindead dullards.
But it could do with more Dang pics. Or Glamgal. Or basically anything erotic from Runescape, like Zanik nudes.

>>2032398
WHAT IS GLAMGIRL FROM BECAUSE I NEED TO JACK OFF. I'M GETTING SO PISSED OFF. I NEED A SOURCE SO I CAN COOM

>>2034426
At this very moment a dedicated team of sleuths are scouring the interwebs for the origin ( and possible location ) of the famous GLAMGAL.
I am saddened to say their search so far has turned up no leads. Obviously some secret agency with some devious agenda has decided to keep her true identity hidden from us.

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low-key hoping they just shut down the game once they implement this and it fails to revive the game

>>2034559
My balls are about to explode from a lack of sauce
My asshole is thoroughly devastated by BDJ's monstrous tallywhacker
There's just nothing left of my pelvic region at this point
There's no reason to keep living
It's over

>>2035291
How would one revive rs3? Genuine question

Osrs makes the game dramatically worse over 10 years and some how hits a player base peak of the most cancerous subhumans to ever hit gaming.
Obviously removing th is going to solve nothing because the core audience already benefited from it and it's not like they are going to reset anything.
Is it really just the meme of
>broooo i'd totally try rs3 if mtx didn't exist
as if these people don't already buy bonds,rwt and use account services on os. It's not like it's a hardcore audience that plays it either.
The last time I asked this question most people just said delete necro and some other things i forgot, but I'm actually curious what the major reason people left was aside from running out of things to do, which seems to be the main reason from what i understand

>>2035550
ITS A HISTORIC EVENT!
Runescape achieves its first ever space flight due to a player's balls exploding at the same time as his ass achieves critical mass.
Coming live to you now from Mission Control in Houston.

Looking good, staying good. We have ignition. We have lift off! SQUARK!
What fuck you say? SQUARK!
Orbital insertion of Glamgal fan commenced. SQUARK!
Fuck me, what you say? SQUARK!
Separation of first ass stage now. SQUARK!
Speak clearly you cunt. SQUARK!
Uh oh! We seem to be experiencing a burn out in second ass stage! SQUARK!
What da fuck you say? SQUARK!
Houston, we have a problem.
>Mission Control< We are Houston you dumbfuck.
Just trying to let us know you spastic fuck. SQUARK!
>Mission Control< We already know because that's us you inbred motherfucker. SQUARK!
Fuck you asshole. SQUARK!
>Mission Control< Cunt. SQUARK!
Fuckwit. SQUARK!

>>2035938
MMORPGs are a dated genre. No one wants to spend 9001 hours to get to the level cap to do end game content which ends up being the same shit you have been doing all this time. For games where you can get to the level cap in a week, why even bother having a level system in the first place?

>>2036046
THIS IS NOT A JOKING MATTER, YOU BASTARD. I NEED TO JACK OFF TO GLAMGIRL AND YET YOU'RE DENYING ME MY GOON FUEL. IS IT NOT ENOUGH I GET MY ASSHOLE DESTROYED BY JAGEX WHEN I'M SIMPLY TRYING TO PLAY RUNEGAME? DO I NOT SUFFER ENOUGH?! WHY ARE YOU COMPLACENT IN THIS? I'M BEGINNING TO THINK YOU'RE AS BAD AS MOD BLKWITCH

>>2037233
Its unfortunate that no one informed you of your selection for Runescape's space mission. But you were unconscious at the time thanks to the laced cocktail we gave you beforehand. SQUARK!
However think of the positives. World fame in Runescape. You will be a hero. Lusted after by all the Runescape girls. There's a strong possibility that not all of them are actually middle aged men. SQUARK!
You can therefore look forward to an endless supply of prime in game gooning upon your return. Providing of course you survive re entry through the Earth's atmosphere. We are pretty sure we packed you with a parachute. Finest quality off the AliBaba site. Made in China. Should work. SQUARK!
>Mission Control< Do you think that will work?
If not then the pink comfy cushion we bought off ebay should soften the landing
>Mission Control< Oh I thought that was me, its on my chair.
Well then we shall just have to hope for a splash down in the ocean instead.

This entire fucking thread is just an idiot spamming shit. How did this happen?
I'm out. I wanted to come and talk about the treasure hunter removal but all there is garbage

>>2038886
actual discussion as moved to the /vg/ thread. this thread is now mod blkwitch's playground to analpost.

>>2039173
I am not so sure about that, apparently BDS is the new analposter.

>>2039541
wtf is BDS
>>2039599
sex with every single one of these girls

>>2039604
wtf nvm i figured out what BDS is. yeah starmer is definitely the new tallywhacker in town, but mod blkwitch will forever be our queen, our BDJposter, or anal destroyer. you can't just destroy a legacy like hers...

>>2039604
Sex with all of these girls all at the same time, multiple times a day, everyday.
>>2039608
You are quite right of course. No matter the manner or size of the rectal reaming delivered by BDS, Mod Blkwitch will forever reign over our anuses.
>>2038886
Good, so fuck off back to pleddit or wherever you whiny dull sacks of shit come from.

The only acceptable runescape posts on this thread are
kawaii sugis, near naked runescape bikini girls, any mention of Dang, Glamgal, Mod Blkwitch and her gums, BDJ, BDS, and noob jokes.

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>>2039923

My anus hurts
Damn you Jagex!

>>2040040
Not only is this an acceptable post but its an excellent one.
THE SUPREME COUNCIL OF ACCEPTABLE RSG POSTS HAS MADE ITS RULING!

>>2039923
I miss based skelly chad

>>2040804
i don't. he lost all my respect once he started revealing that he supported trans rights

Hoist the Mizzen! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

How high does a noob bounce after you have pushed him off a tall cliff?
About as high as all the other noobs!

Hoho! Haha! Oh so muchly laffing!

>>2041033
holy shet I missed that part of the saga

hentai

Shiver me timbers! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

How many noobs can one fit inside a garbage compacter?
Not enough!

Oh my! Laffing long time! Heehee!

>>2046709
OMG!
ITS... ITS A... ITS A FUCKING RAT!
NOOOOOOOOOO!
..wait.
Ummm...
Damn.
No witnesses?
Still would.
Time to find a paper bag just big enough to cover the head.

>>2046709
which jmod is this

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"Ugh, can you even believe this? It's just... devastating. I mean, all of this..."

She gestures to her vanity, overflowing with sparkling cosmetics, and then to her shimmering outfit.

"This ultra-rare prismatic eyeshadow? This divine aura? All from those darling, fun little spins. Oh, I loved them! They were just so... addicting. In the best way, of course!"

She leans in closer to the mirror, a look of genuine distress on her face.

"I just couldn't help myself! Every time I saw those sparkly, sparkly keys, I had to buy them. Bundles and bundles! It just felt so good. I just... I knew it was making Big Daddy Jagex so happy. A girl just loves to please, you know?"

Her lower lip trembles.

"And now... what? They're just taking it away? But how will I get my new outfits? How will I stay this fabulous? And... and... how am I supposed to please him anymore? I just... I don't know what to do!"

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She taps her staff lightly, a gleam in her wide, innocent eyes, then giggles, a sound like tiny, tinkling bells.

"Oh my gosh, you guys, I just had the most fabulous idea! Like, totally, duh! I was just sitting here on my super cozy throne, thinking about how much Big Daddy Jagex loves it when we all, like, participate and stuff, you know? And how much he adores getting all those sparkly membership monies!"

She bats her eyelashes, a mischievous smile playing on her lips.

"So, I thought, what if we just... helped all the new players? Like, gently, with my super awesome staff? Just a little boop on their heads, and suddenly they'll realize that the only thing they want to do is buy all the Premier Memberships! And subscribe to all the YouTubers! And vote in all the polls! And be, like, the best little RuneScape citizens ever!"

Her smile widens, becoming a little too fixed, a little too sweet.

"It's perfect! They'll be so happy, and Big Daddy Jagex will be so happy, and I'll be so happy because, like, everyone's just doing what they're supposed to do! It's not, like, evil or anything. It's just... encouragement! The very best kind. And who could say no to that? No one, obviously! Because they'll just love it!"

She twirls her staff, a dreamy, distant look in her eyes.

"Everyone will be playing together, all focused on making Big Daddy Jagex proud. And they'll never, ever want to leave! Isn't that just the cutest plan you've ever heard?"

I quit, I think for good this time, after reaching Menaphos and trying out a few runs of shifting tombs.
I just can't find this fun at all. It's not even a horrible minigame but it just feels like so much busy work much like every other non-bossing/questing activity in the game that I cannot be bothered.

>>2047770
OMG!
ITS GLAMGAL!
Come here to our humble /rsg/ thread!
We are deeply honored.
As self appointed leader of this thread I will personally escort GLAMGAL on a tour and show her the wonders of my erect... uhh, the wonders of what this thread has to offer.

GLAMGAL, here we see our regular Gooner >>1962264. I am sure he will change his mind about Dang once he sets eyes upon your voluptuous majesty. Hee!
Then there we have our nostalgia Runerscaper. >>1968825. He's right of course, but it makes us a bit sad, recalling a time when Runescape was still great and worth playing.
Now, over here we have our regular Noob joke poster >>1989327 Admittedly they are really dumb jokes, but that is what makes them so funny.
Here we find a Runescaper who has suffered terribly due to the the despicable behavior of Mod Blkwitch >>2005330. But I am sure your presence will do much to alleviate his pain
And just down these steps is our own dungeon. It is a requirement to remove ALL your clothes to enter the dungeon. Then to cover your firm well endowed body with warm oil... Hee hee! Here, let me help you! Oh yes! Oh yes! Drool! Slobber!

>>2047782
SWEET MOTHER OF TESTICLES!
I just JIZZED with the force of a dozen poorly maintained Russian nuclear reactors all going super critical at the same time!
I DONT CARE! I DONT CARE IF GLAMGAL IS EVIL! She can do what she likes to me with her big long black tentacle staff and I WILL BEG FOR MORE!

>>2047789
No. You will stay here and spend a considerable part of your life engaging in boring, pointless and repetitious busy work tasks. You know why? Because GLAMGAL now commands your soul. And your gonads. You will obey her.

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>>2047806
My, they're all so unique in their own, like, special way!

I sure hope you'll make this trip down to the dungeon worth my while. It's so cozy! Reminds of me of where Big Daddy Jagex kept me while he... he...

Hee hee! I can't really remember!

Anyway, don't you think these heels are so totally cute and pretty? It only took me, like, a few hundred spins to win them.

Who knows, maybe if you bought a few keys before they go away, you could be fab like me!

>>2048110
im actually jacking off to this right now. post more of her or tell me the name RIGHT NOW SO I CAN GET MORE. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, WHY ARE YOU KEEPING IT A SECRET? I NEED MORE TO CUM TO. I FUCKING HATE YOU

>>2048305
Welcome back Runescape's first space conquering hero!
That's a Roger Wilco 10-4 Affirmative. SQUARK!

>>2048110
I would buy keys just to lick your footsteps after your have walked through dog poo.
Hnnnggggggh!

>>2048509
DIE

>>2049270
it's literally an ai girl made up like 3 threads ago, just check the archive

>>2049270
That's no way to talk to
Those guys look after you while you completed Runescape's FIRST EVER SPACE FLIGHT! I mean your cheap Chinese plastic parachute worked didn't it?
As a returning conquering HERO you should be DROWNING in Runescape pussy, even if in reality it is some unwashed basement dwelling balding and morbidly obese neckbeard, covered in pimples and wearing track pants stained with a build up of cum ejaculated over the past 4 weeks.
You can't be picky.

>>2049421
NOOOOO!
Glamgal is real!
One day I will win her heart and she will be mine alone! MINE! ALL MINE!
Then I carefully trim the callouses form the back of her heels, brew them, and then distill them into a fine 100% proof liquor.
Ha! And while you are still living a life full of sad sexual frustration I will be getting hideously drunk on GLAMGAL LIQUOR and FURIOUSLY masturbating to the sight of her BIG BEAUTIFUL AND FULSOME BREASTS!
.... OMG!
Unghhhhh!

>>2049421
i know, it's just funny to banter with the BDJ poster because i find his shitposting amusing, even though i genuinely dont understand the whole bit he's been doing in lately. the rest of his shitposting makes me smile like a retard though. there's not much else to talk about with runegame rn soooo...

>>2049464
I think some clarification is needed.
Anon stated his balls would explode if he did not find sauce on Glamgal. A noble endevour, yes, but one fraught with difficulty.
>My balls are about to explode from a lack of sauce
He did not find sauce.
Therefore his balls must have exploded.
Logically the sheer force of such a catastrophic explosion would be enough to propel Anon skywards into an orbital insertion. I.E. Space flight.
Any space mission requires the assistance of a ground based team of rocket scientists. Hence we have "Mission Control", overseeing every part of the launch and recovery, and being a pack of cheap cunts in the process.
Since spaceflight has never before been achieved in Runescape so Anon would have been the first to achieve this historical event. Thus he would have returned as a "conquering hero" and now be the object of sweaty lust by middle aged men larping as Runescape girls.

There. I hope it all makes sense now. :)

>>2047782
ITS TIME FOR AN INTERESTING HISTORICAL RUNESCAPE FACT!

Winston Churchill was the war time leader of Britain during WW2. After the battle of Britain in 1940 he was quoted as saying:

"Never was so much owed by so many to so few"

People thought he was talking about the "so many" free people owing "so much" to the "few" Royal Air Force pilots who beat off the German attacks.

WRONG!

He was talking about GLAMGAL's BEAUTIFUL TITTIES and the horde of lusty Runescape players desperately jacking off to them

>>2049493
it makes sense now, but also, why the fuck are you like this lmao

>>2049569
Because.... THIS IS SPARTA!

>>2049676
Its not Sparta you absolute meathead. Its Runescape. SQUARK!

Ah yes! Time to read rsg for my daily dose of giggles
Am not disappoint.

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>>2051228

>>2051282
i still can't believe mod blkwitch was part of a zelda game back in the day

>>2051282
>>2051553
Hahaha! Yes! Yes!
The "blast" being an "ASS BLASTING!" and the "punch" being a MONSTER WHOPPER!
Snicker!
Titter!
Guffaw!

im so glad i'll be able to come here to discuss ass fucking once the /vg/ perma archives again

Pieces of Eight! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

What should you say when you see a noob stuck in a blender?
"Turn it on"

Haha! Belly ache laffing! Oh my!

>>2052200
I hope /vg/ rsg manages to survive somehow. We really dont want all the retarded plebbitors coming here and shitting up this cozy thread.

>>2053029
if the /vg/ thread dies again they'll all probably disperse into the hills. i don't know how many of them are even aware this thread exists. they're oblivious to all the anal rape discussion that's been happening behind their backs...

noob joke time
what do you do when you see a cute female noob?
you offer her 5k to be your gf and then solicit nudes from her and jack off to them
haha sex gooning

anyone who still plays rs3 is a fucking idiot

>>2054762
I wonder how much it would cost to solicit nudes from Glamgal?

>>2055144
it costs however much the guy generating those pics charges to gen and share hentai. he has yet to name his price and it's pissing me off because I NEED TO JACK OFF TO IT SO BAD. MY BALLS ARE ACHING. I NEED TO COOM. IM GETTING SO FUCKING PISSED. WHERE ARE THE NUDES? IT'S LIKE DANG ALL OVER AGAIN. YOU KNOW THEY'RE OUT THERE, BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM. YOUR BALLS TURN BLUE. I'M GOING TO FUCKING BREAK MY KEYBOARD. I NEED TO JACK OFF.

Doctor Runescape here.
Hmm, yes, you have a very serious case of sexual emergency. Well then, there's a couple of options. Either turn into a 3rd world refugee and immigrate to Sweden, or go to Mars.
Now unfortunately my patented "Turn into a 3rd world refugee™" machine has broken down through overuse. Still waiting on parts.
So that leaves going to Mars. I see from your parachute reciets that you have had previous space flight experience, so this shouldn't be anything too new for you. I will contact my friends at Mission Control and get something set up for you. Here, drink this cocktail of highly sedative drugs and we will get you strapped in on the next flight. Jolly good.

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>>2055665
i will not drink your cocktail. i do not trust it, or you. i just want the FUCKING NUDES OF GLAMGIRL ALREADY. I'M SICK OF FUCKS LIKE YOU HIDING THE PORN OF DANG AND GLAMGIRL. I KNOW IT'S OUT THERE FOR BOTH OF THEM. WHY CAN YOU GUYS NOT JUST SHARE IT? WHAT'S THE HARM OF ME BEATING MY COCK TO IT WHILE PLAYING RUNESCAPE? IS THAT NOT THE RUNESCAPE EXPERIENCE? JACKING OFF TO HENTAI WHILE AFK'ING? WHY ELSE DID THEY MAKE RS3 SO AFK? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME COOM

>>2056174
Good, he drank the cocktail and is now dreaming that he did not. SQUARK!
>Doctor Runescape< Can I have my commission now? SQUARK!
We have ignition...We have flame...WE HAS LIFT OFF! SQUARK!
>Mission Control< A great moment for Runescape. Our first player mission to Mars is underway! SQUARK!
Powered by NEW IMPROVED technology developed by WONDERLUBE™. SQUARK!
>Mission Control< Yes, certainly impressive. Harnessing the power of the player's farts to propel him into space. SQUARK!
>Doctor Runescape< You sure just one can of Baked Beans will be enough to get him to Mars? SQUARK!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCjHVGbFwr4

Can this save, this dead game?

>>2057331
Lol, so many promises. Where have we heard all those before? Especially love the graphic update bullshit. Like Jagex has had over a decade to put it right and they expect us to believe they are going to do it properly now. Like soon? Lmfao. Still, plenty of fuckwits like the ones we see on the /vg/ thread will drink this Kool Aid and ask for more.
Whoever owns Runescape ( I've lost track ) must be getting ready to sell off this lost game to the next sucker. ( Who will then probably immediately instruct Jagex to gacha the shit out of it )

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>>2057377

Ahoy me maties! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

What did BDJ say when he had finished with the noob?
"Pass me another one, this one has split"

HAHA! OH MY HEAD IS GOING TO FALL OFF LAFFING!

Say, whats that green flare coming from Mars?

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Some folks are born made to play RuneScape
Hoo, they're getting raped now
And when Jagex plays "Sea Shanty II"
Ooh, they're gonna ass fuck you, noob
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no Jagex mod's son, son
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no YouTuber one, no

>>2060605
Why has that tatted tart got all coy all of a sudden? Hiding those FUCKING MONSTROUS GOB SMACKING JUICY GUMS from our view!
What a tease!

geez just check out her 'gram

>>2060877
Is that like her onlyfans?
Not sure I could stomach seeing her ravage the holes of hapless runescape players.

>>2060877
her 'gram? blkwitch has a private telegram server where she posts videos of her raping helpless men in their assholes? how do you know this? are you part of this illegal content server??? jannies????????

>>2061060
>>2061568
I have a link you would definitely want to check out, but I don't want to risk a ban

>>2061645
I for one would like to see our Queen doing her queenly thing to the tight quivering end part of player's digestive systems. Just so I can laugh and bless Dang for my silver fork.
Go on.
Post the link. Don't be a Glamgal poster.

>>2061776
fine who cares anymore
https://ls.asna.moe/wAtOYfRTNP

>>2061787
no idea what this link is but i aint clicking that shit. i dont trust it to not be a link to unironic rape videos

>>2061787
OMG! It has nudes of Glamgal as well!
Oh thank you! I'm going to non-stop goon for the next 96 hours!

>>2061948
From google:
"What is .moe? This new domain refers to the Japanese slang term 萌え, pronounced “moh-ay.” Often used to describe a beloved anime, manga or videogame character, “moe” is similar in meaning to “mania” or “geek” in English. Use it to connect on the web with other enthusiasts."

I am sure it features some heart warming images of cute anime girls in maid outfits doing wholesome things. You know, like sewing, baking cakes, dusting, cleaning, etc.
Much like these girls are doing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uds7g3M-4lQ

>>2062427
so it's probably a link to actual child porn. i refuse to get trolled by you, mod blkwitch. raping my asshole is one thing but trying to link me child porn is too far.

>>2063431
I think it's even worse than that.

>>2063648
dear god, it's not just child porn, bit porn of BRITISH children? the most vile of all creatures? just how far is jagex's depravity?!

just logged into runescape and started getting anally raped. big daddy jagex pushed me to the ground, and then when i was laying on my stomach, big daddy jagex laid on top of me and began raping my asshole. but then big daddy starmer laid on top of big daddy jagex and began ass fucking them. there were three of us, laying on our stomachs, all stacked on top of each other. big daddy starmer's monstrous punisher thrusting inside of big daddy jagex's asshole and big daddy jagex's devastating tallywhacker thrusting inside of my asshole. i was in extreme pain. i could feel each of big daddy starmer's thrusts force through big daddy jagex's asshole, then through that devastating whopper, and right into my asshole. at least i was able to kind of lessen the pain by applying wonderlube to my asshole before the raping began (though it still hurt like hell). big daddy jagex on the other hand did not expect to ever be the one getting raped, so when big daddy starmer began going to town... well, let's just say there's not much left of big daddy jagex's asshole.
i just wish i wasn't still getting raped despite big daddy starmer's new conquest of ass blasting...

I missed out on the lore, who is starmer?

>>2063777
the current prime minister of the UK. he and the bri'ish government raped jagex pretty hard by outlawing predatory MTX. jagex finally gets a taste of its own medicine by being on the receiving end of an ass pounding for a change

>>2063730
Dear God. At least we had some refuge from the digesting antics of BDJ through our faith in Dang, Silver forks, Glamgal, or at the very least liberal applications of Wonderlube to our buttholes.
But now? Now we must submit to a cascade of Big Daddy Starmer's gooey jizz dribbling out of of BDJ's ass AND THEN SPLASHING DOWN INTO OUR OWN GAPING ANUS!?!?!?!
Oh the Humanity!
THE SHEER DEPRAVITY!
THE UNBEARABLE SHAME!
( Will this make me vote conservative? )

>>2063431
I am with you Brother. We must remain united and stand strong against this deluge of wanton immorality.
We must place our faith between Glamgal's big beautiful breasts. We must keep our silver forks stuffed securely up our butts, We must pray to Dang daily and beg her to protect our asses.

Billions of Blistering Blue Barnacles! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

What happens if you touch a noob?
You get noob germs!
And turn into a dirty disgusting filthy little noob!

Eww yucky! Haha! Lololol! Laffing!

>>2065764
what happens if you touch mod blkwitch?

>>2065813
My theory is that Mod Blkwitch isn't really a human. Rather a strange mutation where a pair of discarded gums somehow gained sentience and then grew arms, legs, and a body. So more like a life support system for a pair of gums.
My guess is that you would develop a really bad case of bad breath and a sore ass.

>>2066163
PLEASE START POSTING THIS ON REDDIT, IN-GAME, ON OFFICIAL LIVESTREAMS, AND ALL RS3 VIDEOS. TRUST ME THIS GAME IS SO DEAD THIS IS ACTUALLY FEASIBLE.

>>2066163
So, a sentient teratoma?

>>2066634
jagex does not like you revealing their secrets, sadly. any discussion about anal rape will get you banned because, despite how openly they rape their playerbase, they still make attempts to hide the reality.

>>2066634
Sure thing, I will begin posting it everywhere right away ...wait
There's a knock on my door...
Funny, I am not expecting anyone...
Hang on, now there seems to be some mysterious sort of red goop seeping under my door, kind of smells of cheap perfume and hairspray....
Strange, there also appears to be some dark markings swirling around in the red gunk...like highly distorted tattoos....and why the fuck is there a nose ring swirling about in it too, did a pig get swallowed up?
Well hell, now it appears to be reassembling itself into a humanoid shape...its becoming more solid...with what appears to be a massive appendage between its legs...how odd!
SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
OMG!
OH FUCK NO!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
PLEASE GOD NO! HELP! OH GOD! FUCK!
......ack!
[connection ended]

I'm probably gonna get a permamute in game soon. I've decided to stop censoring myself just to appease players.

I just informed Fort Forinthry that Mod Blkwitch pegs the Jagex staff after hours. Which she probably does!

>>2067504
You are doings Dang's work, Anon. Bless you!

blood and cum leaking from my asshole after a runegame 3 gaming session

Crack me a barrel! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

Whats more stupid than a stupid fucking noob?
Two stupid fucking noobs.

Lololol! Muchly laffing! Haha!

>>2071604
Just so...so....so SMUG!
I swoon at her feet and lick them clean.
Then I beg her to walk through some dog poo so I can lick them clean again..

>>2071769
i just don't understand why she's so smug. what does she know that we don't? why does she have such moral superiority? how can i have sex with her?

>>2073198
>how can i have sex with her?
Just get in the line.

>>2071604
She looks like she has 200m fishing

Batten down the Hatches! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

What did Jesus say to the noob?
"Fuck off you dirty stinking little NOOB!"

Lololol! Fancy that! Laffing so muchly!

>>2073198
You would look smug too if your ass wasn't being constantly fucked by Jagex

my asshole has been blasted open by an oversized dildo thanks to jamflex

>>2081212
Goddamn Jagex, why cant they leave our assholes alone?

I am thinking of opening up an "Anus Sanctuary" park.
Its a place where your anus is free to roam safe from being assfucked by Jagex.
The only downside is you can not log into Runescape while your anus is in the park. But that's really not a downside.

>>2082516
Decorated with statues of Dang, Shiny Forks all around (maybe as lampposts), and girls in Glamgal cosplay taking pics with you. Also Wonderlube dispensers every 20 or so steps, and a carby petting zoo managed by Zanik

>>2082673
Yes, yes. I like the way you think.

nvm guys i think ima quit rs3. sometimes you get "eureka" moments where you realize you dont actually enjoy the thing you are doing. you merely psyopped yourself.

many such cases...

im gonna go play 2004 scape, 2006 scape, 2007 scape, 2009 scape, and 2011 scape.

i believe rs3 was sincerely, briefly, a very good game from about 2015-2020. everything after archaeology has been genuinely abysmal. necromancy genuinely ruined the game for me..

>>2083178
Nevermind I have decided to stay, maybe rs3 will get gud
Besides, I want to become park ranger in this new "anus sanctuary" you guys are talking abiut,

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>>2082673
carby petting zoo you say?? how much money do i need to donate to the Anus Sanctuary & Security Recreational Activity Park Enclosure (ASSRAPE) committee to make this happen??

ai anon make our dreams a reality

>>2083350
Dunno, but they are going to need groundsmen to keep the lawns mown and the trees trimmed. Cant have our anuses getting lost in long grass or hung up on low hanging branches.
I am submitting my CV today.
Qualifications: Regular asshole.
Skills: Wiping it.
Relevant Experience. Looking after my own ass.
References: Mod Blkwitch ( nobody knows my ass better than her )

are the people at w84 ge a good representation of this games wider playerbase

>>2084023
Why would you ask this in the shizo containment thread?

>>2084023
w84 is representative of the game's vocal playerbase, the kinds of people you see whining on reddit and discord about everything. they aren't representative of the wider playerbase on the whole, which is mainly 30+ year old men that have essentially moved on with their lives but still play runegame every now and then since it's been such a big part of their lives. but as far as jagex is concerned, w84 people are the wider playerbase since they're the vocal ones, so they're the ones jagex listens to.
>>2084060
this thread may be a containment thread but at least it's a funny shitposting thread as opposed to something like the /osg/ thread which is genuine schizoposting

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REFUND ME JAGEX

>>2084408
the fuck do you mean "refund"? a refund from jagex? what do you want them to do, remove their cum from your asshole? cause they aren't going to do that. in fact, if you asked them to, they'd probably just violently rape your asshole yet again.

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Glam glam~

I hope you sweetlings have been writhing in abject torment just like mommy trained you!

Give thanks to Big Daddy Jagex through worshipful submission and your next year is sure to be suuuuuper GLAM! Hee hee!

>>2085290
Hnnngh!
OMG!
I just jizzed!
My torment knows no bounds!
MUST GIVE JAGEX MONEY! MUST!
>>2084987
These are wise words. You are obviously a Runescape veteran.

>>2085290
built for big jagex cock

>>2087858
Hmm, maybe, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Glamgal may actually be a Jagex agent.
Do you notice how she is always trying to get us to subscribe and buy Jagex junk?
Damned suspicious I say.
I think the only way to find out for sure is to somehow lure her into trap. We get naked and smear ourselves in pig fat. Then we pounce and wrestle her to the ground and bind her thoroughly. We rip off her clothes and smear her with pig fat too. Every inch of her. Then we tickle her toes with a feather until she tells us the truth.

Man overboard! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

What is stupid, ugly, fat, and reeks of urine?
A noob!

Lololol! Laffing! Oh my!

RS3, that's that shit I don't like

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-e7YCixJaY

Has anyone seen my anus? When it heard I had started playing Runescape again it ran off.

>>2094469
check mod blkwitch's desk at her cubicle in jagex's office building

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Runebros, Im at a crossroads. Should i get a sub for RS3 or stay on F2P for a while? Im just thinking if its worth it. I dont want to be a grinder, and 140m+ for a single bond looks too tedious. I just want to explore and complete interesting quests. Or do i need to complete all F2P quests first anyway?"

>>2098019
>>>/vg/

>>2098169
Genuine question and thats your fucking answer?
Well, at least you didn't add any gay shit — thanks for that

>>2098349
I am pointing you to the proper thread where you can ask your question. This one is just some schizo bumping it with his nonsense.

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>>2098354
Ah, damn, sorry for being rude. I didnt know there was another thread

>>2096408
My God, I just checked and you were right!
There it was, my anus, chained to Mod Blkwitch's desk. Sobbing and crying and dripping Jagcum.
I pretended to be a Jagex Mod, so I wouldn't be noticed. That was easy, I just dyed my hair blue, minced my hips in a sexually suggestive manner, and held up a sign saying "Refugees welcome!"
Then when the Gums went for her 7 hour lunch break I swept in and rescued my anus!
It was so pleased to see me! It squealed with delight ( although that may have been due to the 3 day old taco I found at the back of the fridge earlier ).
Anyway, my anus and I are reunited, I will watching it carefully from now on. I am keeping my thumb up it now so it doesn't wander off.

>>2098684
BDJ will suck your thumb if you aren't careful

>>2098962
>quickly pulls thumb out
>my anus runs off again
Sigh!
Here we go again...

>>2098365
Its perfectly fine to be rude to sad sacks of shit.
Now fuck off retard.
This thread is for serious discussion about real Runescape topics. Like Glamgal's tits. ( Which are very big and juicy )

if a minor played runescape, would jagex still rape him? or would jagex avoid devastating that underage asshole? they push troon shit into their game on a regular basis so i assume they're totally cool with pedophilia. thin line between grooming children and raping them after all

Jagex is hypocrisy personified. They objectify women with big boobs and bikinis yet stomp on any comments drawing attention to it. They encourage grooming, gays, and troons yet act all high and mighty like religious fanatics when it comes to anyone mentioning anything sexual.

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>>2109871
>They objectify women with big boobs and bikinis
nigga, what? jagex has been actively removing feminine bodies from the game for years now because women existing is offensive to troons or something

>>1962264
same bro

>>2110133
this is how women would look like in armour. breasts are very squishy and boob armor would not be needed

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>>2110185
shut up, nerd. big tits and boob armor are based

>>2110334
why does lace in anime look better that irl, le sigh...

>>2110541
anime girls look better than irl girls in general
2D > 3D

Look guys, I think our high quality posts are just getting way out of hand. Its just too intellectual. Its time we dumbed things down a bit. Just for a short while. Otherwise we make /vsg/ look even more retarded than they already are. I mean those asshats have trouble deciphering any word longer than two syllables. We got to go easy on them.
Okay, so the next 4 posts must contain no more than three words and no words longer than two syllables. Its hard to be so semi-literate but we must make an effort for our /vsg/ brothers.
I will set an example, here goes:

My anus hurts.

>>2111881
no they don't, anime eyes suck

i got raped

Glamgal tits nice

Runescape ruins rectums

mod foul = male

>>2115097
I disagree. Mod foul is more like a thing. A mcokery of a human being. Something which may have been born human but was twisted and corrupted into something more resembling an Orc. A very weedy Orc with severe mental issues, granted, but definitely no longer human.

noob joke?

Barrels of Pickled Pork! ITS NOOB JOKE TIME!

What is the best way to talk sense to noob?
Use a sledgehammer.

Muchly laffing! Hoho! Lol!

BDJ joke?

>>2110334
Correct.
They are the only things worth living for.

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>>2121154
sex

>>2122687
Holy jizz fuck!
They were right when they said that this runescape thread was the place to be.

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>>2122747
you fuckin know it. in this runescape thread we actually talk about important things related to runescape, such as anime girls with huge tits and anal rape. no idea what the hell they're talking about in the other runegame thread, but whatever it is certainly isn't relevant to runescape

>>2122878
Goddamn!
I have rubbed myself raw!
How do I explain this at ER? Although I suppose treating my flayed penis will be a welcome change from what they usually do when I come in after playing Runescape, which is stitching up my butt hole.

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>>2122687
>>2122878
at least post RS girls