Thread #6118140
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you know what to do
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how life feels nowadays
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everything seems so bland and far away, like im in a trance, not feeling what i was supposed to feel
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like im waiting for something that will never come, and thats my punishment for some sin i comitted long ago
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nothing feels right, no prospects or dreams, everything washed away in the sea of time
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maybe my oportunties for happyness passed me by and i never saw them as i was supposed to, and now im not to get any more
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i wish i had courage
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i wish my life would turned out different
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see you again in another time friends, maybe next time it wont be so lonely here
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>>6118659
The fact 20 fucking faggots say the same shit on every sad thread across each board should tell you this isn't hell. Also my favourite football team is going to win the league so if it is your hell then thank you anon.
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>>6118926
>quit 4chan
I never get the mentality of people who say this. I exclusively absorb only the good posts and everything else simply isn't acknowledged or committed to memory. It's like cutting off a limb when all you need to do is make it stronger.
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>>6118939
No you fucking self-absorbed faggot I am not new. I have been here longer than you've probably been alive. Seeing someone else who has it all sorted out and dragging them to your level is exactly why you have the problems you have now at this time in your life. Sort yourself out, the rest of us aren't moving.
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>>6118634
Marty is an all-time great film
but it's a turbo-blackpill when you realize
Marty
>owned his own large home in a major metro area (with his mother)
>was set to purchase a thriving butcher shop
>had a large social circle of friends who genuinely cared about him and noticed his absence
>actually meets a woman 5 years younger than him who expresses interest in him
brutal
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>>6118659
The notion of reality does not matter. This is the only existence you have access to; accept it for what it is, live with it. Change what you can, and accept the things you can't.
This is the only way to live.
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>>6118140
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>>6119159
Ignore the other anon, forcing people into existence can be evil... But if we end up bringing a child into this world, we can be what our parents weren't. I don't mean retarded redditor style parents with no authority who raise idiotic narcissistic monsters, I mean loving parents that actually guide their kids to be good and happy and well adjusted individuals. At least that way, even if forcing people into existence is evil, by being a man or women that doesn't abandon them and truly work hard to be a good parent, their life won't be suffering. The evils of the world will never manifes in their life.
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I know it is a long shot but does someone have a "feels" webm similar to what I am about to describe? It is a still image that shows a man from some random manga I guess with messy hair and a beard(?) he was sitting down I think, looked sad but not crying, the most important part was the dialogue, a single line that read "show me, the world/life outside these walls". The webm had a song with no vocals, just instruments like a lot of feels webms.
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is 23 too old to start over?
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>>6120251
>is 23 too old to start over
no, obviously not. you can "start over" at almost any age, depending on what you mean by that.
you cannot ditch your genes. and you will have a tough time breaking your most deep-seated habits, but you can definitely do it. you can easily move places, explore new career paths, get your health in order.
whatever it is you need to change, if you do not change it, that is at least seriously try to, then you will only carry on that anxious question of whether "it's to late" for something.
let me tell you one thing from experience: the slightly regretful feeling of having begun something "too late" is way, way less bad than carrying that ever-nagging and soul-eating feeling of bargaining about whether it is "too late" or not. give your mind some relief and start the change.
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>>6120251
Hope this will make you feel better, just so you know Caesar was lamenting himself for being a loser in his 30s, his entire youth a loser and yet history remembers him as one of the greats. You still have time anon, go for it!
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>>6120251
As long as you're not settled in your thirties you still got the whole world at your feet. The older you get, the harder it gets to change things. But 23? God, if I compare my 23 to me today you would think it's a different person
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>>6119771
Why did they have to take quickplay away from us?
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>>6120763
RIP SkyKing
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>>6118947
Don't stick with a bad work environment for long, just look for a new one. The last job I had was years ago, the boss was a piece of shit so I left immediately. It didn't help that I have depression and have an unorthodox work etiquette (maybe I have autism). Fast forward 7 years of being a bum and just helping out at home to now, I took over the management of a company from my uncle, The workload is heavy and the company is completely out of my career industry but without abusive fucks trying to get in my head, I'm doing better. I'm making much more than when I used to work and I try to keep the culture in the company friendly-professional, I'm not gonna be a piece of shit boss like that fucktard.
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>>6121483
you don't have to suffer. life has no inherent value, that's a reasonable position to take. you certainly aren't the first philosopher to make that claim. but okay. you think life has no inherent value? make value. life *can* be worth living. if you allow joy to enter your life. my life is far from perfect. i don't like my job, i don't like my apartment, i wish i had more friends, i wish i had a romantic partner right now, i wish i had more money and time to pursue my hobbies, my passions, my dreams. but ya know what? i'm not unhappy. i go into work with a smile on my face. i have fun conversations with my coworkers. i laugh. i get to walk around all day, it's not a tremendous work out but i stay active, and i feel good. i go home, and i watch a fun movie, play a fun game, listen to some fun music. i go to bed and i relish how comfortable my bed is. i cuddle my shark plush and i have happy dreams. then i wake up, i take my hormones, and i get to do it all over again. i'm optimistic. i'm excited for the future. i have concrete plans i'm working on to continue to improve my life. i still get sad. i still cry. but it's worth it now. i know that the joy will come back. i'm not saying you should transition or anything like that, i don't know you. but ifyou find something, some sort of positive energy, positive force in your life, life *can* be worth living. and i mean, hell, what do you have to lose?
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I wish I just had one real friend I felt understood me instead of the people I interact with in reality who go out of their way to make me feel like shit and fuel my high inhibition
My parents tell me not to take these instances so seriously and think about it from the other person’s pov. “Maybe they were just having a bad day” but it feels like I always catch people on a bad day. Somehow my offense is the straw that breaks the camel’s back everytime…
Whenever someone has to repeat themselves to me they always have to go out of their way to let me know it’s my fault instead of being chill and just repeating themselves. Constant back-handed comments made at my expense, people looking visibly annoyed and sighing when I bother them for anything, people asking me a question then watching them immediately ask someone else because my word wasn’t good enough, people rearranging everything I touch right in front of me but not saying anything or acknowledging it.
I’d rather just repurchase something than bother someone to give me what I paid for because I tell myself that maybe they too realize the hell we live in and their sanity is hanging by a thread, even though I know most people don’t think twice about making their problem someone else’s. I’m never allowed to call anyone out and am expected to give the benefit of the doubt while all anyone can do for me is assume the worst while I cope by telling myself that my character and actions will shine through.
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Feeling like writing a bit.
I invited a girl to a party today, she was tired and didnt want to go.
Now at 330 am she sends me a message that another friend ended up convincing her to go.
Its so funny how it made me feel like shit and to her its probably nothig big.
im 25 and this is the first time i have felt this for a woman, all my other experiences i felt like i was forcing myself somewhat. Maybe thats the reason every time ive tried to have sex i get limp dick.
Feeling pretty pathetic right now, 25 year old virgin with a one sided crush on friend who doesnt see me like that.
Her boyfriend cheated on her and now they are on a break, i thought it was my chance and we even kissed a few times but now shes avoiding me.
My guess is she wants to go back to friends, to how things were before. But i am already fucked.
Having a pretty rough time anons. Just wante to type a bit to sort my feelings, i only imagine her dancing and having fun and im crying on my bed. its so sad its funny.
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>>6121812
over the past few months i caught feelings for a girl for the first time, by the fact that im posting about it here you can guess how it's going.
i do realize that there is basically no chance for that relationship to come into existence, yet i still intend to torment myself with some remarkably pathetic attempts.
im also in the "avoiding me" phase lol
either way, thanks for typing your post, reading it kind of helped me
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>>6118140
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These threads have been occurring for 15+ years
I remember seeing Drive when I was 13, liking it, but never wanting to watch loops of Ryan Gosling staring off into space or pouting.
It's really low IQ bullshit
I call it "the gaze", not to be confused with staring at a woman's butt/breasts, because this gaze is just gay and retarded.
I'm not a boomer, but I think anyone who "aura farms" deserved to be curstomped by one. Someone with hundreds of thousands, if not millions in net worth.
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About ready to punch out early. This time last year was one of the happiest times of my life and now the reason I was so happy then, my first real job in almost 20 years, is blowing up in my face. I've been on disability most of my life. Now that I've had the job for a year the government is coming after me even though I've done everything right. I'm fully expecting it to get way worse soon too. The stress is the worst I've ever dealt with. I'm having extreme sleep problems, physical health issues, and if I hadn't gotten a night guard last year my teeth would be destroyed from clenching. I'm insanely lucky the job is gig work type stuff or I'd have lost the job due to missed days. Because of this stress even if they reverse course damage has already been done but I'm sure they won't.
Before the government decided to step on me I was doing great. I was making good enough money to get off benefits, eating much better, and even getting fit. I was truly enjoying life and absolutely loved the job. Work really was setting me free. I even had a solid plan to never end up in a situation that I'd need to get back on disability ever again. I went as far as speaking to financial advisors about it. The job was the first one I've ever felt confident I could easily keep as long as I want to work. I've accepted I'll probably never find love but at least I could've lived my life with a monthly income that wasn't less than the rent for a studio apartment. Now, as usual, there's a very good shot it was all for nothing.
Every damn time I try to succeed and better my life it looks great for a bit then something happens and I get crushed. I'm too old for this shit. This is my last shot at life before I go find a nice place to die and it's looking like I won't be around for 2027. It's to the point that I don't even feel all that sad about the idea of suicide. I feel like I'm empty or like my soul has already left the building. It's a miserable existence and I'm tired of it.
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i hate the idea of presenting myself in the flesh. i don't know what it is about me that's just repulsive to people, i feel its just my actions in life that sound greater than they actually are, not to mention people like to hype me up greatly. then said people meet me and realize i'm actually an autismo with poor people skills. mid intelligence and my looks aren't even close to good or handsome and then they get this disgusted ick that's apparent in their tone and face, like i'm not the man they worshiped or formed in their mind.
it's fucking defeating anons, being treated like i'm diseased and damaged goods because i don't live up to everyone's expectations and get treated worse because of it. it's genuinely made me hate myself to the point of not even putting my real name to anything, no matter how proud i am of it. also the reason i like the default or anonymous name, so people aren't reviled when they see or search for the real me.
>>6122519
it sucks, but at least we can be honest and vent freely here
>>6122535
good for you anon
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>>6122391
>PEM is a bitch
and gender dysphoria isn't? i also have autism, adhd, ocd, general anxiety, major depression, and possible schizotypal personality disorder. yea, it sucks. but i don't let it control my life
>So you're saying I should lie to myself.
Not at all. Don't just tell yourself life has value, *make* the value. Everybody has to give themselves a reason to keep going. Make yours a good one.
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>>6122538
I understand that feeling I think. I do best as an invisible observer, never meant or allowed to touch the world of humans, only view.
I tried to tell someone long ago what it was like, that being among others almost always makes me want to disappear. They responded with, 'then why didn't you walk away"? It's not enough.
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>>6122578
>I do best as an invisible observer, never meant or allowed to touch the world of humans, only view.
well said anon, this cunt of a world makes me want to dissolve into nothing more than just a wandering and seeing soul.
I want to share 1 verse from a song and an excerpt from a book with you and the rest of the thread.
"Cause once you're with one world, There's another waiting there" - Mister kingdom by Electric Light Orchestra
"Only then did he creep out again, and, carefully skirting the players, make his way left to where the firewood was stacked under the archway. There, raising is collar, he sat down on a pile of logs. (...) 'Why are you always sitting by yourself Luzhin? You should run about a bit with the other boys.' Luzhin would get up from the woodpile, trying to find a point equidistant from those three of his classmates who were especially fierce at this hour (...) and, having reassured himself that the teacher was far off, would return to the woodpile." - The Defense by Vladimir Nabakov
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>>6122575
You sure didn't let it control your life, those 67 labels just came on your birth certificate. Fucking kek.
You can't "make" value if you "know" there is none. You can't make something out of nothing.
I like baking, it gives some joy but it doesnt make life have any more value.
Also comparing PEM to gender dysphoria?
Jesus fucking christ.
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>>6124269
When someone asks you, what would you do if you won the lottery? What would you buy? Where would you travel? What would you do if you could do anything?
And the person answers, I wouldn't know, I've got everything I need. That's a good life. No dopamine chase, just general contentment. It something that went lost in the west. It's something my granddad thought me and that I live by.
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>>6124278
Different person,
Materialism, objects, money, good food. It doesn't matter to me. Strip me of everything I own and all I am, and I will still remain who I am. Make me a CEO of a wealthy fortune 500, or make me a famous celebrity. I will still feel as if I have nothing and that I am worth nothing.
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>>6121812
>every time ive tried to have sex i get limp dick.
don't feel bad anon. happens to everyone eventually. get bloodwork and a basic physical checked. If everything's at normal levels, it was psychological and/or your body knew something was wrong with her even if your mind didn't.
people underestimate the cognitive & emotional elements of sex.
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>>6123272
please see a therapist. projection like that isn't healthy.
>>6123279
despite it all i believe in humanity's ability to grow and learn and love
>>6123343
why does weird have to be a bad thing?
>>6124241
i enjoy life. please, there is a better life waiting for you. don't let yourself keep falling victim to the toxic cycle of hate.
>>6124278
if i won the lottery, i would pay for the rest of my transition, i would buy a house to spend the rest of my life in, i would buy homes for my close friends, i would keep enough to fund my and my friends' hobbies and lives, and i would donate the rest to charity.
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>>6124717
What is ambition? Climbing to the top of a career? Making a lot of money? Ambition is only a scam ran by capitalism to keep people running in the rat race.
You need to figure out what you like and build your life around that. Whether that's gardening, working on bikes or reading books. All the rest should only be the minimum possible in order to do those things.
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>>6124955
>if i won the lottery, i would pay for the rest of my transition, i would buy a house to spend the rest of my life in, i would buy homes for my close friends, i would keep enough to fund my and my friends' hobbies and lives, and i would donate the rest to charity.
And you still wouldn't be happy.
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>>6124955
>and i would donate the rest to charity.
why do people always come to this same conclusion like its some ultimate solution? keep your money dumbass and instead volunteer to said charity, they need people more than they need money (unless mr. Goldberg is the organizer)
>t. volunteer regularly at the local church despite not being christian
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>>6125358
the average person just can't handle having money on hand, they expect to part with it as soon as it reaches them (spent, deposited, donated, whatever) - an increase in income is a sign to increase expenses. If it's not being used and it doesn't do anything on its own, they don't see the value in it; plus it's a depreciating asset on its own anyways.
low time preference precludes them from doing anything really useful with it, like investment or entrepreneurship. best they can do is spend it on comforts or give it to someone else who can better use it.
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Feels like the vicious cycle keeps repeating itself.
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>>6123562
i dont understand how to find *goals* to achieve. all my *goals* revolve around superficial things like getting better at some interest or hobby activity. for some reason i just cant into when envisioning some huge dream or force myself to be hopeful of achieving something extraordinary. i feel like i had the air punched out of me at some point and now my brain is just stuck in survival mode and i cant get out
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>>6125707
Rich or successful people telling you to work hard is laughable. They got where they are by having an edge over most others, either genetically or connection wise. Hard work is just one variable of succress.
Don't let people shame you for not constantly striving to be the next millionair.
Getting better at a hobby is perfectly fine.
Nothing wrong with striving to be extraordinary, but you'll have to be realistic about your chances.
Most will have to come to terms with mediocrity.
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>>6125007
i'm sorry to hear that. i get joy out of seeing others have joy
>>6125211
I'm already happy. I'd just be less stressed over finances.
>>6125358
Sure, I can see how this is too vague a statement. My point was more that I would try to use the rest of the money to help other people. If I had enough money I'd love to start a film studio dedicated to funding independent queer artists personal stories. Let them focus on the art and not worry about profit.
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>>6125905
Isn't it a bit indiscriminate to only fund queer projects? There are lots of people who need to worry about profit in their passion projects specifically because today's scholarships and bonuses already have DEI in mind first and foremost.
You wouldn't be giving money to those who need it the most, you would be giving it to your tribe.
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>>6119119
fuck off with this libshit faggotry. I hate normalfags and fags. every single western entertainment has been ruined by having to much faggotry and they are trying to do it to the japanese to with localization. im so god damn sick of society always appealing to fags nowadays. nothing personal against you but it pisses me off so much.
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>>6125913
can you name five big budget films by trans people about trans people from the past five years? not tv shows that have one side character that's trans, but that are actually focused on the experiences of trans people.
>>6125931
we exist. we aren't going away. we're going to show up in media, because we exist. and it's really funny that you're so weebed out you think localization is making japanese media queer, considering japanese media has a long history of queer character getting straightwashed by american localizers (Catherine from Doki Doki Panic / SMB2, Kaworu from Evangelion, Sheik from OoT, Vivian from TTYD, those are some of the more well-known examples)
>>6125953
I am happy. I am a woman. Financial stress kind of comes included with paying bills.
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>>6126356
>points out the most normalfag reddit series
kek evangelion, TTYD and OoT are the most reddit media. the evangelion one is a nothing burger because it was on netflix, just get it from nyaa and torrent it instead. There was also faggotwashing before like for example 13 sentinels. eitherway you faggots are evil people with a sick agenda and while I dont live in america people are starting to push back against your agenda in your country. all your tranny AAA woke titles are dying. enjoy.
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>>6126356
So true xister! Heres a powerful WEBm for you <3 <3
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>>6126356
>moving the goalpost to big budget when we were talking about independent artists
>also making it so side characters don't count, conveniently invalidating the DEI claim I made despite so much media having a token TQ+ character these days
And yet, what I said still stands: you want to fund your tribe, not fund the needy. Every culture in the world has an in-group bias, some people just like to pretend they personally don't because it gives them more Morality Points in their head.
There's no shame in having that bias, but you kept saying how you would help 'other people' even though it was conditional all along: on whether they belong to your tribe or not, which makes it discriminatory by definition.
Even in your fantasy of being a billionaire, you can still only picture helping 'me and mine' alone. I'd dwell on that. Or don't, not like morality matters much anyway.
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>>6126415
please get on antipsychotics soon
>>6126423
yall are obsessed with us
>>6126433
okay, name five trans films from the past five years that got enough funding to be successful. i said i would fund queer stories because those are the stories that aren't getting told right now. but if i had this studio and somebody came to be with a cishet person's story, i wouldn't necessarily say no because the main character is cishet. the point is representation.
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>>6126987
>please get on antipsychotics soon
the very fact that you think taking drugs and medication is the solution to how I think or am is the most sad american thing possible. You guys have been subverted to always take medication and whatnot to everything. Most of queer stories are garbage because they all suffer from having DEI and shoehorned characters. representation for the sake of it is just bad writing and ruins the authenticity of the character. Most woke media end up falling in this pitfall where the character has no identity then being a token homosexual. Funding them wont do anything because blackrock has tried and every media it has touched has suffered from it. I noticed on your other point you said they are not getting made but that is false. There are plenty of woke western indie devs but most of them end up being garbage for a multitude of reasons.
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>>6118899
Oh, I've been searching for this for a while now. Thanks.
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>>6118140
i hate these feels so much
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thinkin about john mccain again :'(
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>>6128047
The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.
The feels don't disappear.
You either learn how to deal with them, or they consume you entirely. But unless you find something to replace them, they'll always be back. You can see the various stages of it throughout this thread in all the different videos.
The thing you have to realize is that no matter your age or status, you will /feel/ the same if you have no real purpose.
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>>6119171
You are looking at a couple having fun, you arent looking at them scream, yell, rage, cheat, lie, abuse, feel suicidal because of each other. Number 1 is peace, whether a women is in your life or not, nothing stopping someone from dancing with a mop or their pet and feel happy, a women for a man is great for making a family with, besides that you can get companionship anywhere.
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>>6120251
Age is a social construct, it doesnt exist. Are you 23 seconds old? 23 minutes old? 23 hours old? 23 days old? 23 weeks old? 23 years old? It's all a social construct to keep track of time, it does not represent you as a biological human with consciousness/soul. Once you realize how unimportant an age is past adulthood in your country, you begin to live life like 99.99% of your ansestors did, they didnt care about birthdays, they cared about surviving, enjoying what they had in life, being happy. They didnt care about trivial issues.
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>>6118621
Broke up with a girl because I felt like this and didn't have the guts to believe that it would be ok and that it would end worse if I didn't. Hard pill to swallow that I made the wrong call there.
Too much overthinking to hear what my heart was actually saying.