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Is the spiritual path inherently doomed to be recursive periods of bliss/despair or is goying myself out somehow worse?

I notice suspiciously unvaried life events. I've experienced a strange cycle where I meet someone special in August, followed by an intense honeymoon period (whether romantic or platonic) in which my life is very enriched followed by a crash in the Novembers/Decembers, which ultimately concludes in a very brutal detachment in April. I would not pay mind to this, had this not been the 3rd year in a row where such a thing happened.

I've been attempting to get into spirituality but with how confusing and circlejerkish it is I'm a little bit lost and do shit solely based off of vibes sometimes.

I guess what I'm asking is if my life narrative thus far is mere chance/retardation on my behalf. Im getting really tired of having some serious groundhog day shit every year but with switched characters. Sorry if this post is a mess, I'm not even sure how to explain it fully.