May as well just migrate to /sp/ at this point.

https://youtu.be/vNR-ZebJvd0?si=AqrOXbHq77dcxN-A
Now this is proper slop. Nothing better than watching FutaBoys shoveling cheap conveyer belt sushi down their gullets and watch as they get stuck in their seats

>>257405
I thought the JSA told beyas that their slop couldn't promote gluttonous eating?

>>257407
It's all gluttony, cooking, hair dressing, foot stamping, and chest lending. They can't show the alcoholism and sexual assault on youtube without being demonetized.

Get your bingo cards here!
>bingobaker.com#10182298

I'm going to bed, so be kind and share this link on /sp/ when a lasting thread gets made.

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Dan has a new mawashi

https://www.sponichi.co.jp/sports/news/2026/03/07/articles/20260307s00005000154000c.html

It's blackity-black https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZHwGnGrm_k

>>257410
cringe post

>>257410
Fresh black straight from the deck rather than one stained with ten years of taint sweat and shit stains

>>257410
I wanna see someone go full Akebono with bright orange.

/sp/ thread
>>>/sp/153765250
>>>/sp/153765250
>>>/sp/153765250

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3.9 MB WEBM

>>257413
He got it from Jesse.

>>257413
shimekomi colors should be limited to black for upper sanyaku and dark blue for everyone else. ura looks gay

File: 1626185283009.gif (1.6 MB)

1.6 MB GIF

>>257413
Most recent orange I can think of was Kaisei

>>257405
pre-basho food poisoning. nice strategy

>>257419
>pre-basho
...

Why doesn't NHK hire Chris?

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>futagoyama fatfucks eat as much sushi as possible
>only £435 in damages
vgh i could live like a king in nippōn....

>>257434
I'm over here glancing at my gundam model kits that were bought when the yen to dollar was 100-1.

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>>257431
They did.

>>257441
Oof.. that elbow overextention looked nasty.

Enho's stroke game is next level.

Dan ain't nuthin' but a bitch!
(bitch!)
Dan ain't nuthin' but a bitch!
(bitch!)
Dan ain't nuthin' but a bitch!
(bitch!)

Its hilarious how there are zero Yoshinofuji fans crowing about his victory and its all just Dan haters who are happy about it. Yosh has had an amazing career so far and is on his way to his 12 consecutive KK following him maushita tsukedashi debut and he was college yokozuna before that, the guy is an Onosato level sumo monster, but nobody gives a shit, they only know him as that dude who can beat Dan. And his back and shoulders are wide enough to land a 747 on them

>>257523
Its hilarious how you are straight up lying and making shit up
But thats all danfags do it seems
Lie and preen and preen and lie

>>257523
seeing all that green on the natto graphic before those two clashed was unreal. neither of them have ever failed to earn promotion when the new banzuke comes out.

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>>257523
hate is an easier emotion than love

>>257590
No it's not.

>>257635
Ohnonono

https://www.youtube.com/@sumo-highlights

>>257800
for me, it's don don sumo

>>257808
Dong Dong is top tier stuff

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Yasuhiro Omori, who got 2nd at the All-Japan and has Ms tsukedashi, signed with Endo's stable.

https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202603180001030.html

Hoshoryu....

>>257934
absolute disgrace. first he gets smothered by aonishiki previous basho, and he loses this one to kirishima, who now has more yusho than him, and he isnt even yokozuna...

>>257934
Hoshoryu: If Koga was a yokozuna

>>257935
>>257941
I can't wait until your autism latches onto something else to obsess over.

>>257955
the mong zuna you simp for sucks ass

>>257957
You just proved my point.

>>257955
stfu retard, I am rooting for hosh since he joined sanyaku but I never wanted him to be promoted to yoko; this basho is another proof NSK made a mistake promoting him. Asashoryu isn't even caring anymore as well, tweeting about aonishiki instead.

>>257964
It's ok to move on brother.

Niggatame forgot second bow. Disgraceful

at least he beat aonishiki for the 1st time..

The ups and downs seem pretty set in stone this time.

>Makuuchi
Midori and Fujiryogre out
Ryuden and Wakanosho in
>Juryo
Kotokuzan, Fujitensei, Shimazuumi, and Tsurugisho out
Tochitaikai, Hakuyozan, Okaryu, and Enho in

Elder stock secured.

File: undignified!.jpg (39.3 KB)

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How is this allowed?

>>257973
probably because of this precedent... i'm just baffled he picked daiseizan as flag carrier.

https://www.47news.jp/9331846p2.html

>>257973
they should do it more often, even in winter

I give this basho a 5/10.

>Hoshoryu wasn't competitive
>Onosato dead in a ditch somewhere
>Dan failed miserably at fulfilling his destiny
>Kotoshoho came close to a 2nd yusho

The only upsides are

>Yusho went to someone worthy though the ending was lame as fuck
>Zak double digits
>Atamin Sekiwake

But all in all this basho was barely any better than watching Kotoshoho go 13-2Y.

>Hosh arm locks Dan in practice
>Dan gets offended or whatever and refuses to practice more
>Hosh beats Dan for the first time with an arm lock (into leg hook because Dan forces it) throw
Dan sisters...

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>>257972
They could still screw him over and put Takakento in

>>257972
M6w Onokasu gonna stay in the division on a 1-14?

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How long until they announce Teru's expulsion?

>>257982
Probably. They tend to cushion people from rising or falling too fast these days. Gooneryama went 1-14 from M3 and landed at M13. What I wanna know is why the fuck people think Papa will stay at S1w. It makes more sense to give Waka a +0.5 boost than to give Papa a +1 boost. The only real awkwardness is going to come from that extra Ozeki slot messing up relative placement since everyone's getting a -0.5 rank shift from it.

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In 3 days we will know if Enho made it.

>>257986
I already confirmed it. He's in.

>>257980
if results won't push him to juryou, his seniority should, over takakento.

>>257991
They need to promote him so he can take over Iseghama after Terunofuji is expelled

>>257992
Hakunofuji will leave with him and change his shikona to Enoho.

>>257992
>>257993
Enho rebuilding the ex-Miyagino stable lol, all the rikishi hakuho recruited would leave most probably with him.

>>257996
>Hakuho comes back as unofficial assistant coach
Imagine Hakkaku's impotent tears of seethe.

props to asakouryu and asasuiryu bros for providing great entertainment despite their mom dying just before basho.

>>257998
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4yJDlHMpTE

>>257998
I didn't even know she was sick.

>>257976
>Zak double digits
Zak winning against Hosh was probably the highlight match of the entire Basho.
Hosh will NEVER win a Yusho as Yokozuna.
NEVER.
And deep down, he knows it.

>>257976
I'd agree with that, also ol Tom had a rough go at it, I hope he doesn't drop too far.

>0-15 without kyujo

>>258006
My highlight is Fujinokawa not fucking dying in the ring against Onosato. God I wanted blood.

>>258007
He'll probably be roundabout 13 east
Hopefully he still has some juice in him. He looked bad early on, but he at least showed some spirit in some lf the losses later. He's still in range of dropping to juryo though, and I could see him hanging up his belt if he does because he hasn't dropped division in 15 years.

>>258036
He's been my main guy since I started watching a few years back and he had some really impressive wins that time. Stuck with him through some ups and downs but this time was rough.
I still hope he comes back and finally Yushos. When we first started watching, my bro picked Takakeisho and he ended up Yushoing that time around (and he moved on to maining Hoshoryu when Keisho retired and got another Yusho and a Yokozuna), and my friend picked Kirishima and he won the one after I think it was, now two. I'm still holding out hope for my guy to Yusho.

File: Danzuke Danzeki.jpg (385.3 KB)

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Spiffy's estimated banzuke is out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iiw594pcCKo

Dan still way way up right near the top of if. H8ers stay seething

>>258038
holy cope

>>258038
>ozeki 1 west
rumao

>>257967
>Horse shits high light of the basho is beating 10% Aonishiki
Honorable chairman hakkaku please kill this fraud

Let's be real, if Hosh had won this basho you'd still call him a fraud because there was no real competition or some bullshit.
Glad he finally figured out Dan to.

>>258043
so you're saying he's worse than a fraud?

>>258043
No one has figured out Dan he’s just tired from putting up only double digits since his debut it would take years for these guys to catch up to his level of grappling

>>258038
I'm glad you don't have to use your vpn on /xs/

>>258045
>No one has figured out Dan
>8 people just used strategy to prevent him from using his favored techniques because...he's just tired okay!

>>258045
>constantly hard-slap him since the tachi-ai
>win
EVERY FUCKING TIME
This is as bad as Onosato losing to the Nodowa, you dumbass. Either Dan overcomes and adapts to this or he's done for.

>>258045
Bro even hosh instantly stood him up and didn't allow him to go low for the rest of the match.
Dan needs to train on different shit, he doesn't have the retard strength Ono does, he can't just bowl people over.

>>258052
Since when does Onosato bowl people over? Dude's been bitchmade since September.

>>258057
He overpowered aonishiki easily in January though

>>258049
b-but he's the main character of sumo
only he can adapt and improve

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Please, I need my slop... I'm dying here...

>>258062
We wont see the round dragon that much anymore now that he's gonna be a sekitori...

>4–3
chiyobros we will be back in the top division within mere years

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVjglaWQo8w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWvXtvxW0y4
Finally

>>258069
I got bad news for you anon

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>Enho Ms1e
>gets injured again

Does Hakkaku personally hate Hoshoryu or something? It's so weird to see a chairman heap tons of criticism on who's supposed to be the sport's crown jewel.

>>258083
I don't know but it's not hard to see why. The man is actually doing ok on average but he just can't get a yusho. Hakkaku probably thinks the only way to change that is to push him through harsh words. And I actually do agree with some of the criticism, Hoshoryu needs to learn patience, sometime it feels like he just shows up and does whatever and it just happens to work, for the most part.

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>>258083
Hakkaku said

>a Yokozuna who allows someone else to win the championship with 12 wins is unacceptable

The only 12 win yusho allowed by someone else during Hakkaku's time as yokozuna was the playoff loss against Chiyonofuji.

>>258087
Beautiful throw, as if to impress little Ai :(

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should i buy this rancid sundried shit-stained mawashi for $100?

>>258087
>during Hakkaku's time
back when steroids flowed like fresh spring waters and match fixing was at it's peak

>>258087
>12 win yushos
It’s actually strange how things have changed in that regard.

From 1980 to 2020 there were only 21 12-win yushos.
From 2020 on there have been 16 already.

>>258089
Who was the previous owner?

>>258087
Maybe don't promote guys to Yokozuna so early then.

>>258091
Everyone's so fat now that their bodies break down too quickly.

>>258091
I wonder whether it has something to do with how transparent most things are these days. If your underling does better than you in a basho you can't beat the shit out of him as easily anymore or something like that? Aren't there a lot of social rules where upstaging a superior is a huge taboo in japan?

>>258093
>Maybe don't promote guys to Yokozuna so early then
I’d push back on that idea. There is no such thing as promoting someone too early. There’s only correctly promoted or incorrectly.

Onosato won two in a row from ozeki and was correctly promoted.
Takakeisho went 12-3 JY + 13-2 Y and was correctly not promoted.
Hoshoryu went 13-2 JY + 12-3 Y and was INcorrectly promoted.

Time has nothing to do with it, they simply fucked up.

I still firmly hold my belief that they intentionally promoted Hoshoryu just to get rid of him early so he won't get citizenship in time and become another mongol oyakata in NSK

>>258097
I hold my belief that you're a fag.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYPXAzetl6w

>Kirishitma didn't have time to get into his formal cloak, hence why he rode the car in his underpants
>This is only the 3rd time someone has re-made Ozeki without using the 10 win Sekiwake rule
>Hakkaku was re-elected as Chairman today and ranted about Hosh like a cranky old fuck

>>258091
>The top dogs were so much better when match fixing was a thing :/

>>258083
yep, just throw the responsibility onto someone else. Best bet onto your 'employee'.

>People STILL care what bitter has-been yoko failures have to say simply because they parrot hosh bad like they do

File: 2026-03-23_19-52.png (75.9 KB)

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CHAIRMAN GET DOWN!!!

>>258103
Chiyonofuji won that basho with a 15-0. Hakkaku’s point is that a healthy yokozuna should elevate the competition so that a 12-3 win a cup.

If there’s a healthy yokozuna and someone else bags a 12-3 yusho, that is pretty mediocre, let’s be honest, since it means you either gave up some cheap gold stars or you completely pooped your mawashi against the sanyaku. Neither is really what you’d expect from a Yokozuna.

>>258103
>Hakkaku
6 yusho as 'zuna and 3 by that point.
This bitter bald fuck can shittalk Horse whenever he wants.

One thing I will commend Hoshoryu on is that he managed to fix change his tachiai to more aggressive one.

>>258105
Konishiki won it with a 14-1.

>>258106
At this point Horshoryu is becoming the Takayasu of yokozuna. Four junyusho and no cups as yokozuna.

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>>258108
Am I missing something?

>>258110
Oops I was looking at November. Blame Hakkaku for going 11-4 multiple times in a row.

Desu I wanna hear his opinions on Onokuni. Surely he must have nothing but praise for a guy competing at the same time as himself, right?
>2 yusho
>Plethora of juns
Right?

>>258110
>Kirishima 8-7
Kirishimabros... timetraveling is not working...

>>258099
>Chris (((Gould))) should meet me at my stable instead of talking shit on YouTube, Chairman Hakkaku told Nikkan Sports. Despite being a cranky old fuck, he could still snap the YouTuber in half like the twig he is, he added.

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>>258083
Everyone who is serious about sumo hates horse, even his own uncle

>>258115
Asashoryu is the Donald Trump of sumo.

>>258115
You are mentally unwell.

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>>258116
Donald Trump is the Donald Trump of sumo.

>>258118
Please tell me that's Asanoyama's reflection.
>Heh, I'm something of a pussy slayer myself

>>258119
>maybe if I was in the Epstein files I’d still be ozeki…

>>258120
He's gonna regain Ozeki through the power of a mawashi bought by his mother and her sewing circle.

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>>258070
The REAL winner of March, who cares about a bunch of random mongs.

>Never lost his ozeki rank once he earned it
>Consistently put up double digit wins in most basho's he's been in
>But he's bad because no basho zuna wins
The chairman and the horse schizo need to collide with a dohyo neck first, preferably at high speeds.

>>258123
Who cares about a fat lump of a thai haffu?

>>258123
Nabatame winning Sandanme was cool, but Bukhchuluun and Ochilsaikhan winning Makushita and Jonidan was way cooler if I'm being desu with you.

Roga is a contraction of Russian Koga

>>257402
What an absolute letdown this dude was, just absolutely crashed and burned

>>258129
Nigger no, if he wins the next two basho he'll still match Onosato's record breaking promotion.

>>258130
>>258130
Sorry dude but we won't be seeing a white yokozuna anytime soon, he is out, should have been fighting for his country instead to be more useful

>>258132
>KiriSHITma

File: fat wife ugly daughter.jpg (498.4 KB)

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Kirishitma's daughter is ugly and his wife is fat

>>258134
Which is which?

>>258134
>wife is fat
Wow, so is he!

>>258134
Kirishima nailed himself a slampig!

>>258123
Niggatame will be back in juryo by July.

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>>258134
>>258138
>tfw no finngolian braphog gf

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>>258140

how can mongs tell if they have down syndrome or not?

>>258142
When they say they like turtles more than horses.

>>258141
lmao

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>>258112
>average onokuni 13-2 vs average hosh 13-2

File: Screenshot 2026-03-23 232151.png (76.4 KB)

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>>258145
More like this, desu.

>>258146
Still not much of an improvement

>>258148
Didn't give up a kinboshi at least.

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Hakkaku be like:

>>258091
That's not strange in the slightest, yaochou was simply rampant back then and it isn't now.

File: 2026-03-24_11-33.png (655.9 KB)

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>>258070

>>258155
>believing sumo is on the level in any way shape or form
Oof.

>>258124
>But he's bad because no basho zuna wins
Oh, so you do understand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kN2LjkLO8OY
Aonishiki injured his big-toe, that explains everything

File: dan.jpg (62 KB)

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>>258159

>>258159
It begins. The long career of a promising young wrestler constantly being let down by injuries.

Buy an ad or kill yourself chr*sfaggot.

>>258157
I don't think it's gone entirely, it was just much worse back then.

If rikishi were willing to scratch each others backs with win trading I don't think Zak would've beaten Hosh.

Is there a new rule that beyaslop rikishi must wear yukatas on camera?

>>258168
They generally wear yakutas all the time anyway because they're supposed to.

>>258159
Apparently no primary source on that one, but it does seem plausible. If that's all it is, he should be fine for the next basho. IMO, it would be worse if he just choked.

>>258168
Yes. Personal appearance is part of the terms of their employment. The same reason they wear their hair in the old style.

They’re obviously allowed to wear other clothes like if they’re going to the gym or something, but when they’re out in public, they’re expected to dress appropriately.

Asashoryu would frequently get yelled at by the JSA because he preferred to wear a suit and his hair in a ponytail instead of the chonmage.

>>258169
>>258172
I just remember old Futa videos where they're just lounging around in casual wear then all the sudden they're wearing yukatas all the time.

>>258173
Yeah. I’m sure the JSA “reminded” them.

>>258174
What next? Futagoyama eating dinner on a real chair?!

>>258177
and drinking from wine glass?

God imagine being a deshi at Hakkaku-beya. Do you think he chides Kitanowaka endlessly about him not being an 8 time yusho Yokozuna?

>>258179
Seeing as he’s got other responsibilities, I’m guessing that the day-to-day operation and training are probably overseen by Takamisakari, Okinoumi, and Hokutoumi.

Tokokei the hairdresser in the Tatsunami stable is getting fatter

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>>258180
>Never present at the stable

>>258161
Imagine if Aonishiki never quite captures lightning in a bottle again and becomes the only wrestler to ever win two yusho in a row but never become yokozuna.*

*Terunofuji did it but was promoted later. Tamanishiki, Futabayama, and Chiyonoyama, were all before the modern era (and later made it anyway.) Raiden is ancient history.

>>258179
>4x as many coaches as sekitori
>no lower rankers in makushita
>3 kachikoshi out of 10 wrestlers in last basho, 2 4-3s and a 9-6
lole
rumao

>Two chicken breasts
>Two egg noodle nests with onions sauce and enough olive oil to stop them sticking
I'll never make it to Onosato's size with meals like this...

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>>258185
Thats why you gotta drink those calories anon

>>258187
Can they be properly absorbed through the anus?

So I thought I knew this but this basho makes me question what I know: during a match I thought touching the hair was a no-no but I saw several matches where a wrestler won by pushing against the neck/back of head area. Is it you just can't pull the hair and everything else is fair game?

>>258194
Touching their hair is perfectly fine, you just can't pull. When Hakuho called a monoii it was over a hair pull.

>>258194
can't grab the top knot

>>258195
>>258196
This. An easy thing the judges look for is if the fingers close. Simply getting your fingers tangled in the hair is not enough to be a DQ.

>>258197
Judges tend to watch feet so hair pulls slip through every now and then.

If Aonishiki won this basho on 12-3, would there have been people up his ass like Hoshoryu because he got promoted on a seemlingly weak result? Like imagine he went back to the 11-4 mines afterwards. I wonder what the narrative would've been like.

>>258201
Back to back yusho is back to back yusho, it's like one of the few YDC rules that's actually written in stone instead of a vague benchmark.
I think people are just going to need to readjust their expectations of what a yokozuna is back to the "ozeki with a fancy entrance" it used to be.

>>258201
Hakkaku would've lubed up the strapon he uses because his tiny roid dick can't get hard anymore.

>>258203
I know he would've been promoted no matter what if he won both, I just was pondering what the narrative would've been like afterwards. There probably would've been expectations for him to start doing better than 11 and 12. Like you said, people get very serious about what a zuna should be doing in a tournament.

>>258205
> Like you said, people get very serious about what a zuna should be doing in a tournament.
They should be. Calling someone a Yokozuna means you’re announcing that they are an all-time great WHILE they’re still active. No other sport does that. It’s a huge black eye when they get it wrong.

Instead of back-to-back yusho with a vague and nebulous "yusho-equivalent" standard, they should make it simple and award yokozuna title to an ozeki who has won his 3rd or higher yusho. There would only be slightly fewer yokozuna (44 vs. 52 since yushos were created) and it would be a sign of longer term success.

>>258206
>It’s a huge black eye when they get it wrong.
Kisenosato...

>>258207
Yokozuna Kaio...
Yokozuna Takakeisho...
Yokozuna Chiyotaikai...

>>258183
>anti-Danner schizos and their rich fantasy lives
imagine being so butthurt that you unironically spend your time inventing fantasies about Dan having a bad career

God I hope it's those training bout with Hoshoryu where Dan dipped that broke his toe.

>>258209
Tochiazuma too. I think it's telling that a lot of ozeki were able to get that many individual yusho, but weren't able to get over the "back to back" hump. It's telling of that era of competition, because them and Konishiki would've been the only additions in the entire six basho era, with four cuts.

>>258214
>shows up for practice
>breaks aonishiki's toe
>beats him at the basho
winning is yokozuna sumo

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>>258194
You can touch the hair, but you can't grab it, unless you're Takerufuji.

>>258209
>Yokozuna Takakeisho
And that's why we don't do it that way.

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Its official

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Estimated May banzuke, post your reaction

>>258229
Kotoshoho will not jump ahead of WTK, Fujiryoga will be out instead of Onokatsu

>>258229
Fujiryoga is lucky.

>>258229
Fujiryoga won't survive

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Looks like Enho has officially made it back to the salaried ranks.

https://hochi.news/articles/20260324-OHT1T51334.html?page=1

>>258234
Okay so who got shafted to make this happen.

>>258235
Enho

>>258229
Why would fujiryoja survive at m17 with an MK

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>>258238

>>258238
It happens. Probably won't here because of Onokatsu, but it happens.

>>258230
>>258238
I'm pretty sure Shishi held on a losing record as the lowest man in the division last year.

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>>258242
Youre right, I messed up the query here >>258239
It didn't happen from 1960 until 2005, then it happened multiple times in the past couple years. shishi and tokihayate went from m17 to m18 though, and this past banzuke had no m18, so not sure how affects it

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>>258235
No one, 4 guys dropping out, Tochitaikai Hakuyozan and Okaryu are definitely in, and Enho's 5-2 is like 11-4 compared to Takakento's 4-3 which is like 9-6, so mathmatically Enho is 1 rank above him so Enho goes to Juryo and Takakento just needs 1 more winning record.

>>258238
Technically he's going from 41st to 42nd. Either way that guy's banzuke is whack because Kotoshoho is not getting Sekiwake. The guy hasn't had a KK in the joi in over five years of trying.

>>258247
Tsurugisho went intai so Enho could become an oyakata.

>>258250
Went 0-15 instead of going kyujo for the love of the game.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qI4bOn3uiA
Nabatames yusho interview from FutaGOYama channel

Nothing on Terunofujis punishment?

>>258261
Going to be discussed at the 26 March meeting.

Enho made it back to juryo. Let the isegahama miyagino drama begin.

>>258264
Is it confirmed he has hit eyes set on Miyagino?

>>258257
This is what Fujinokawa v Onosato was supposed to look like.

>>258266
Nothing is ever confirmed, but it’s widely speculated that he wants to remain on as an elder. Hakuho would have been able to secure a share for him (the same way he did with Ishiura, thus keeping the valuable pipeline to Tottori Johoku open).

Now that Hakuho is gone, though, and the former Asahifuji is sitting on the Miyagino share until he’s 70, getting a share will be harder. I don’t know how many potential shares there are available in the Isegahama ichimon.

>>258270
Has Asahifuji said he isn't giving up Miyagino? That's a mega gay thing to do desu.

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>>258260
>KogaGOYama
lmao when your kwab stable's most noteworthy wrestler is goddamned Koga and your sekitori's name is a contraction of "Russian Koga"

Last couple Chris videos have been epic, a lot of talk about KiriSHITma's loss to Dan

>>258270
>>258271
It seems like there is still a ton of back room wheeling and dealing when it comes to elder stock even though they say you’re not supposed to auction it off to the highest bidder anymore. I would imagine that if Enho was able to pay the blood price isegahama/miyagino would give it up. I think a big hang up for Enho will be the shadow of Hakuho and the jsa not wanting him to have a backdoor into the sumo world.
The other problem is that you can only establish a new beya if you were a zuna or ozeki or have a bunch of bashos at maegashira. So the only option for Enho would be resurrecting miyagino but they may consider it to be a dissolved stable since Hakuho quit. I do think the isegahama drama with Teru will help him though because it doesn’t seem like they want to boot him from the jsa so the most logical solution would be reestablishing miyagino to get hakuoho and the other guys out of there and make it seem like they are doing something to solve the problem.

>>258277
The dream situation would be Miyagino taking over Isegahama temporarily while Teru learns how to be a better stablemaster from him. God that would be the funniest shit. Give Enho any other kabu who gives a fuck, Musashimaru will probably be dead soon there you go.

If Enho started a GoFundMe to raise money to buy a kabu it would obliterate the goal.

>>258271
Enho isn't about to retire now that he got back to salaryman status, its his time to start banking away them big bucks again. He has been solid enough in upper makushita that he should be able to handle juryo well enough to stay in the division barring injury. He can just make money until age forces Asahifuji to give up the kabu.

>>258278
Oldies can't be stable bosses

>>258288
Does Enho even want the Miyagino kabu? Inheriting the legacy of Hakuho is a big deal, especially for a former Hakuho deshi. Asahifuji can do it because he was a Yokozuna, but Enho? Nah, he'd much rather have a less-known kabu.

https://sumodb.sumogames.de/Kabu.aspx

Ctrl+F "196", receive list of cunts about to retire. Also they should make kabu of zuna shikona who broke 20 yusho. I guarantee you that the original owners of the kabu shikona would've bitch slapped Hakkaku for being a faggot.

>>258275
Futagoyama could realistically have 4 sekitori before long since Nobehara could join Roga, Nabbers, and Mita. That would put him as well above average as an oyakata.

>>258290
Kogatame will likely land in the makushita teens somewhere on the next banzuke and then his knees will self destruct against if he makes Juryo, he just isn't built for 15 straight days of competition, in fact he isn't built for straight anything. And he has no knees, not even one

>>258291
He's built for bukkake, cold style.

>>258260
My FUARKING hero.
>>258291
He's built for makuuchi, yokozuna even, and the run starts NOW.

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The results of this last basho only strengthens and reinvigorates my admiration for and support of Dan. Anyone can be a Dan fan when he is rewriting the recordbook, but only the most devoted Dan admirers will stick with him in troubled times. Osaka reminds my of back in November when Dan fell to one off the yusho pace after his win over Onosato was stolen from him by the azn officialdom. The fair weather Danfans all gave up by the true faithful all still knew he'd be taking home the cup. Dan's rise to dai yokozuna legendary status is still as inevitable as the rising of the sun in the morning. Anti-danners will be tormented until 2040 or later at the hands of Dan, bank on it.

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>>258295
What do you call this kind of delusion?

Who will be sitting next to Russian Koga after the next banzuke drop, Kogatame or Kogabehara?

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>>258296
Dan beat the eventual yusho winner, that means Dan is still the best wrestler out there.

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The greatest sumo wrestler in all of recorded history

the thread on spee is about to 404, someone make a post in it

>>258295
his wins against Kirishima and Kotozakura were good, especially the former I recall he was getting his arms locked in and got a hold from the inside so it shows he's working on a solution.
Even though the dream was busted early he still gave an exciting narrative trying to dodge the MK and the grudge bout between him and Hosh putting him in kadoban. Still gonna be someone I enjoy watching.

>>258301
Being on every single major Japanese TV show over the past 4 months and having a hundred parties and parades thrown in his honor was way too much distraction from Dan's training routine.
Maybe Dan needs to do a face heel turn so he won't be so popular and can focus more on working out, that move worked wonders for Hakuho

>>258296
>What do you call this kind of delusion?
A forced meme.

>>258289
You are making a large amount of assumptions. The A kabu doesn't get somehow tainted or changed by who held it. Miyagino historically has been held by Low Maegashira and Juryo since 1989 up until Hakuho. EX Asahifuji being a yokozuna has no bearing on anything other than he was available to hold it after he passed Isegahama to Teru.
Furthermore there was a system called Ishidai Toshiyori, which would allow for a Single use share under the name of an exceptional yokozuna, to be retired when they retire from coaching. Only Taiho, Kitanoumi, Takanohana, and Chiyonofuji were ever offered this. In 2021 it was expected from Hakuho to also receive this honor. The YDC then decided, "uh no we don't have this system", source https://www.asahi.com/articles/ASP4M5V91P4MUTQP00J.html
>>258271
Asahifuji has also publicly expressed his desire to pass the Miyagino Kabu back to one of Hakuho's disciples with the aim of reopening Miyagino Stable.

But no, none of these things allow for drama fueled shitposting.
The pure conjecture regularly posted in these threads is absolutely fucking newfags.

>>258296
Hakkakian.

>>258300
Let it die. Nobody wants to remember that b*sho.

>>258309
Yeah bro, I hate watching sumo too
Except when my guy wins

>>258310
I don't mind Kirishima winning. I just hate it when a basho fucking sucks. A 12-3Y with no playoff is already suspect, but when it's locked in day 13 because the Yokozuna can't contend it and the winner shits the bed days 14 and 15 that's just some weak shit my dude.

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>>258311
>I just hate it when a basho fucking sucks
Sure a more exciting end to the basho would have been better, that's about all I can agree on.
We got to watch some great fucking sumo and I enjoyed all 15 days. Great basho personally.
Just love watching some sumo, results, storylines, and records are all nice things which will elevate in some cases.
But I don't require those things to enjoy watching sumo.

But nah, gotta say everything sucks and be unhappy instead.

>>258312
Me (a nugget) in bed (hospice).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CWYkO2LeMY

Zak's father was a BITCH. Not only did Uncle crush the first match, but the torinaoshi was brutal.

>>258267
Enho doesn't have the same heart.

File: Takatoriki vs Kotonowaka Aki 2000 Day 9.webm (3.7 MB)

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>He grabbed me by the titty.
I know... I'll selectively breed my sons to great a rikishi with EXTRA titties! He'll be unstoppable.

>>258310
Absolutely epic >>>/sp/153994262

Last two years were the first time this century that Japs won the majority of the bashoes. Onosato needs to kick it into gear and dominate like everyone knows he can until the end of the year to keep that streak going. Can't depend on the Kotoshohos & Takerufujis of the world to help out, that dai yokozuna energy everyone know Onosato has needs to be turned on at full power every day. He can win six in a year if he applies himself to his game instead of derping around hazing the juniors with anal sake chugs

>>258311
Sup Hakkaku, its good to see that the final boss of sumo is posting here with us on /xs/

>>258323
Hakkaku is the original Horshityu poster

>>258322
He's been ded for 2 basho and it feels like I'm forgetting him already.

>>258325
Hakkaku invented horseposting??

>>258299
>>258298
*goes kadoban*

>>258260
He calls Mita Sesame Oil kun that's adorable

>>258296
How stupid do you have to be to take that post at face value?

Enho won't make a good oyakata, all he knows are ultra manlet techniques

File: Enho vs Akua.webm (3 MB)

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>>258334
Here have a nice webm to go along with your you.

File: SUMO Nagoya Basho 2022 Day 6 July 15th Juryo ALL BOUTS.webm (2.8 MB)

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>>258335
torinaoshi: warioland

File: 天空海 Akua.webm (2.8 MB)

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>>258335
>>258338
Sumo fact: water is lighter than fire.

>>258316
Zak’s father was a stand up dude he could’ve killed uncs dumb ass they call these in favor of the guy that puts his hand down to prevent injury now

>>258348
If you spent less time on the internet and more time training you'd have that second yusho by now, Zak.

>>258348
Not against a zuna.
There's an unwritten rule that a close call for the maegashira winner becomes a torinaoshi and what should be a torinaoshi a win for the zuna

>>258351
That wasn't a close call, Uncle was nowhere near the ground nor was he touching it any time soon, while Koto was clearly down.

>>258304
> In 2021 it was expected from Hakuho to also receive this honor. The YDC then decided, "uh no we don't have this system"
Blame Takanohana for that.

Thank you Takanohana, ichidai toshiyori hakuho would have been awful.

Latest Chris video about Teru is extremely biased. It's always funny when the schizo tips his hand.

>>258356
At least now he lets the viewer know when the conjecture starts. I am also glad he skipped the Hakuho comparison this time as the cases are really not comparable.

>>258356
>Latest Chris video is extremely biased
Yes, and?

>>258356
>extremely biased
As opposed to the usual? He usually kept himself in check, but since London he's been ramping up the propaganda machine (him being more audibly upset at things)

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>>258351
>reeee da zooooonas!!!!
stfu schizo

>>258354
>Blame
credit

>>258356
>he literally makes up what happened
lmao

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The first Pocari Sweat adverts featuring Dan are coming out now. They gave Dan a pile of money banking on him being yokozuna now and Dan spent it all on salo & potatoes and then went 7-8 is well on his way to becoming a Gagamaru tier fatass lower mægashira shitter.
Imagine the Pocari Sweat boardroom meetings when Dan's collapse kills their brand.

>>258368
Chris is epic, imagine how boring the interbasho doldrum would be without him

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Teru needs to learn to do something about his hair, that disorganized rat's nest on top of his head looks like crap. Its disrespectful of him to go out looking like that, bad for sumo's reputation. He just rolled out of bed hung over and just got dressed and went out without even looking in the mirror, probably didn't brush his teeth either. And Iseghama boasts a top tier tokoyama too

Whats the skinny on this Lee Bill Christopher cat? Brief me

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Hakunofuji assault incident 2026 colorized

>>258376
Holy fvark

>>258376
Its just like my NTR hentai

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Iseghama's beyaslop channel has been turned off, they probably got told to stop publishing new slop due to the stable's impending name change when Kiriyama is crowned new master

>>258334
> Enho won't make a good oyakata, all he knows are ultra manlet techniques
At this level, every wrestler knows every technique and ways to defend against them. They’re not going to use them in the ring if that’s not their style.

A good coach will be able to help a wrestler identify his strengths and weaknesses and build around that no matter if they’re 160cm 100kg or 200cm 200kg.

>>258382
Sorry, I'm with the Chris schizo theories on this one. They will just slap him on the wrists+ salary cut, maybe split the Miyagino wrestlers from him.

>>258365
I miss the old Chris when he did interesting vids and shit like autistic deep dives and the full 15, before he realised his name is (((Gould))) and he could monetise crying about Hakuho on his schizo gossip rag of a washed channel.
>>258382
Takarafuji taking over would be so kino.

>>258383
>They’re not going to use them in the ring if that’s not their style.
It's a competitive sport, anon. No one is going to lose on purpose because this or that kimarite is "not their style". Styles develop because they tend to give a particular rikishi the best chance at winning.
>>258334 went too far in the other direction, though. All kabu-eligible sekitori know the basics well enough to bring anyone with actual talent to juryo at least. They are aware of techniques outside their style, but knowing a technique exists is not the same as knowing how to perform it or teach it to someone. A good oyakata would supplant his teachings with those of someone more specialized in whatever the rikishi's sumo style is.

>>258382
Beyaslops channels are in very volatile position. One scandal and its all fucking over. Imagine if its revealed that someone in FutaGOYama is actually gluing wallets. All that work down the drain