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>What is /htgwg/?
How to Get Women General is by men, for men, about women, so bring all of your questions about getting and dealing with women here. Some anons on this site actually get laid, and some of them even want to help. If you're trying to meet and date women, then this is the place to ask questions, seek advice, and share experiences. We know how hard it can be. We got you bro.

>What is /htgwg/ not?
These threads are NOT for whining, moping, incels, volcels, MGTOW, hopelessness, or demoralization. We're all aware that meeting and dating women is hard today, and even harder for some, but /htgwg/ is for trying to overcome the challenges. IGNORE the posters who complain, give up, or insist there's nothing they can do. This site has other boards and threads that they can pollute. BE SMART: Spot the bait, don't reply, and DON'T WASTE TIME ARGUING WITH THEM!

>How to ask for advice
Context is important: be more specific than "This girl ghosted me, why?" We can't help if we don't know the situation, so try to provide as much (useful) info as possible ("I was at the bar, this chick was checking me out..."). What's your relationship with the girl? How long have you known her? Any conversation screenshots? Etc... Don't forget to ask an actual question.

>Resources and Books
https://wingman.live/ (AI dating coach)
https://pdfcoffee.com/318797392-mark-manson-models-2016pdf-4-pdf-free.html
https://archive.org/details/robert-glover-no-more-mr-nice-guy-id-353324692-size-612
https://www.youtube.com/@YourWingmam
https://www.doctornerdlove.com/blog/
https://pastebin.com/7U5Sdhwq (Leykis 101)
https://dokumen.pub/why-women-deserve-less-firstnbsped-1467978302-r-1917433.html
https://www.fantasticanachronism.com/p/how-to-be-good-at-dating
(new suggestions with working links are welcome)

REMEMBER: It's good to read and prepare, but don't overdo it. Get off this site: go learn and build up your social skills by meeting actual women in the real world.

Prev: >>34413489
+Showing all 92 replies.
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What happens if I just cold approach anyone starting with
>Hey, do you have a boyfriend? >Yes- Bye!
>No - Sorry for the intrustion, I thought you look cute, I'm anon, I would like to hang out with you some time.
If they comment something, I'd keep the ball rolling. If they don't, I'd text them and get ignored. Is this a good approach?

As a matter of fact, I have nothing in common with nobody, so I have nothing to make conversation of. I have shit observation skills. I only have humor if I feel good and I feel bad almost all the time. I get embarrassed of people talking about me so lingering would work against me. Women almost always have a boyfriend at all times so I'm getting rejected anyway. The spaces I go to (university, japanese classes) are all men, and invading women spaces like dance is creepy and they would look down on me, they're also expensive and don't contribute to my career.

So, I can't play the game. Is this fine?
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i dont have any confidence due to my lack of human experiences (not necessarily with women)

Can i somehow get chicks if i lean into my complete lack of manhood? should I start sykkuno-maxxing, i have a similar energy to him.
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>>34432920
You can play the game. You just have to learn about yourself. Find peace being alone first before interacting with people. After that is done, learn to be patient when things don't go your way. I know a lot of people are gonna call me delusional for this, and it is a bit, but remember in RPG games dialogue options have a chance of success if you pass or fail? That is reality with communication, even with me now I don't know if what I said passed to where you thought I made sense or failed to where you pressumed I was some deranged lunatic on the internet like most people would think of me. Communication is always chance, anon. You should never beat yourself over chance. If you don't beat yourself up for when you get a scratch ticket at a gas station and all the areas you scratched off left you empty-handed you shouldn't do the same for communication, even if it is life or death. Animals have to hunt to survive everyday and they don't worry about chance so neither should you. Still hoping for that roll where you thought I made sense.
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You're too much of an awkward pussy who can't handle tension or conflict to ever be charismatic around women
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I yawn at catposting troons
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I regret downloading hinge. You guys were right, attractive women don’t need dating apps. Time to learn how to approach irl
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>>34432991
Yeah well, life moves on and I wonder if I get the same with the next woman. You aren't God so you can't say every woman thinks the same about me. Even then I'd rather be human than right.
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GUYS. I'm sorry. Please ignore my last post. You're actually totally going to make it. Let me give you a breakdown of why:
>your emotional reactivity in conversation is HOT - you MUST always say "just kidding haha" any time you say anything that isn't a statement or question of fact in case she gets the wrong idea. Ambiguity and tension = PUSSY DRY!!!!!!
>you beating around the bush about asking for her number makes her SQUIRT
>the fact that you take everything she says super seriously and spend 5 minutes ironing out the logistical details of every little idea she pukes out at you is simply spine-tingling for her
>letting the conditioning induced by your BPD single mom oversocialized nightmare childhood lead you to compulsively assure her and take on a very feminine lilting tone of voice and generally converse like her gay BFF is PRIMING her to get FUCKED HARD by YOU!!!
In short, just keep doing what you're doing king. Especially >>34433001. If this is the sort of thing that runs through your head, you're literally 5 minutes from PUSSYTOWN YOU-ESS-AYE!
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>>34432920
Instant rejection unless you're Brad Pitt. A cold approach requires at least some conversation prior to popping the question. If you can't bring yourself to make five minutes of small talk, you're going to crash and burn on a first date anyway.
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I already made a thread about it here >>34411405, but tell me if there was even a small opening or something.
>customer comes to pick up two books she ordered in late February
>she's missing a missing a book, so I tell her that I can get the company to print out a second book
>she leaves her number for us to call her when it's ready
>she comes to pick up the second book
>she smiles and waves when she sees me
>she apologies because she thought she sounded rude when I called her to tell her it's ready because she was at work
>I let her know that it's fine and I understand
>she calls about 20 minutes later because her book wasn't printed properly
>I hear her out, let her know that it can be redone again or she can get a refund, but if there's another mistake, then we'll just proceed with the reimbursement
>she says she appreciates the fact that I'm trying to rectify the problem and asked me for my schedule because she wants to take a look at the order with me
>two week later I left her a message telling that she can pick up her books
>she shows up two days later
>same wave and smile, and says "remember me"
>I gave her her books(the production center printed 2 of each just in case)
>she opens it in front of me
>we chat for a bit about how odd the situation was
>she tells me to take one of the books
>I took one of the ones she didn't like
>we wave goodbye and she says happy Easter

She was kind throughout the whole situation, but it probably doesn't mean much. I was told that if a woman is being kind instead of businesslike, then there's a chance that she may have been attracted to you. I somewhat doubt that because many women have complained about men mistaking their kindness for flirting. I want to hear what some of you have to say about this. I thought about being more casual, but I just didn't want to weird her out or get in trouble.
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>>34432955
Thinking of success rates like that all the time has contributed to feeling pressured and have my mind go blank all these years. I think what you say works for most, but trust that I'm an outlier as you can't imagine. Imagine that I'm a feral child who was taught to study and nothing more. Can't make a better metaphor, you get the savage fear, social cluelessness and domestication through threats.
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>>34433007
I have no idea what you're talking about. What you say feels like a back-handed compliment. Why not go with the flow? Not everything has to be about status anon. I believe this is why people like you keep calling me a faggot, because it is embarassingly low status and you want high status like a king right? How about you be your own king instead of fitting everyone's definition of it. I am my own king, so I don't give a fuck if I show up to a party and people think I look like a faggot or some shit like that. Calling me pussy, you are a pussy because you're too worried about looking like a pussy. People who aren't pussies just go with the flow not give a shit about looking like a pussy. What are you 14 in a house party of teenagers?
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>>34433018
You have to take a risk anon. Take risks not if it looks right to your family or friends or the world, but for you. I know the fear of fucking up bothers you. However, as long as you have purpose in what you say or do, there is nothing to worry about.
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>>34433008
I definitely can't small talk. That's not me. What now then? I go to the therapist and he doesn't teach me to small talk, he tells me to "be myself" and "expose".
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>>34433059
You know what, focus on getting rid of your fear of taking risks not saying the right thing that catches people's attention.
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>>34433059
You have to be willing to be humiliated anon. Instead of looking at this humiliation as leading to a god awful consequence, look at yourself as a survivor for putting yourself out there and going through it.
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>>34433009
Meh, too friendly, I don't think so personally.
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Just landed my first real relationship, and with an absolute stunner to boot. I have advice for people with Autism and/or Anxiety, especially if you're a student: Go to extracurricular clubs. Not just any clubs tho: Ones that represent your special interests. All that time obsessing over your hobbies will turn you into one of the biggest experts there, and as long as you're not domineering, that knowledge is sexy. Admittedly I'm also 6ft 3 and am told I have a good face so I realize I have some privilege, though I am slightly overweight. I do think as long as you present yourself well tho it should be no issue. I struggled a lot with the transactional nature of online dating and ghosting, and I don't think that's uncommon.

Just know that if you're insecure about your mental conditions, it's not insurmountable. The hardest part really is asking her/him/them out. Godspeed, people.
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>>34434365
What if your special interests are all solitary?
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This is going to seem a bit weird but I don't want to start a new thread.

There's a girl who hates me at work, she eventually became a manager and moved to another store, her best friend started working with me, and at first was acting very weird and was obviously nervous, she acted as if she knew who I was before I even introduced myself, which was highly evident with how social and open she was with everyone else except for me, so clearly the girl who hates me told her friend all about me. Anyways, every now and then her friend will steal glances at me, laugh at my jokes, join in on conversations, but when it comes to just us two? She'll just stay quiet and act distant. One day in particular I was reading in front of the grill and she came up to put a bag on the clothesline, and once she hung up the bag, she turned to look at me and stared for 3 seconds and then walked away, her face was neutral and her body language indicated she was shy. Does she like me? Does she want me to talk to her first? Is she shit testing me? Is she fishing for a reaction so she can tell her friend about me? Help me socially awkward autists.
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None of the 18 year olds in my town are white… I think the white genocide thing is real. And I’m only attracted to white women..
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>>34432869
I find it so annoying how feminists exploit lonely men. I don't even buy le red pill or whatever but when I see them trying to "fix" incels it's super fucking obvious they're just trying to suppress an ideology that goes against theirs. If these men tomorrow were just as or even lonelier but had their ways of organizing support groups cut off, these feminists wouldn't give a fuck. Because it isn't about actually helping young men, it's shutting them up so you can keep being a stronk independant womeeen.
You can even tell because these women will be against porn, but not against OnlyFans exploitation or anti-men posts on the internet or communities built around leeching off of men. And then they'll claim they're oppressed by the magical patriarchy that somehow doesn't benefit men at all.
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>>34434852
Society benefits females in every way and males are blamed. But white males specifically are the scapegoat and the face for all men, even though statistically there’s more rape, murder, pedophilia from other races. Being a white male in 2026 is demoralizing, best you can hope for is a decent paying job to pay for distractions.
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Boys I am just losing my fucking mind because I can't do what I want to do

>be me
>relatively poor
>just want to go out drinking and meeting girls at bars
>incapable of doing this sober
>got a DUI before so I can't drive myself to the bar or I will actually have to go jail for a second DUI
>it costs like 60 dollars to UBER from my house to the bars and back
>a hotel room close to the bars costs even more
>i rode my bike to the bars once and it took me forever to stop being sweaty and then I puked when I was riding my bike home drunk and it was terrible
>I have a few friends who I could get rides from but they have busy lives and relying on them for this probably won't last long
>I also could drive myself, keep a detailed record of how many drinks I have had on my phone and try calculating when I am good to drive home. Go out for 4 hours and drink 4 beers or whatever. But that will give me a lot of anxiety on that drive home I REALLY don't want to get another DUI

I think the solution is to make friends with fags at the bar and get some regular drinking buddies who wouldn't have a problem ferrying me but easier said than done. I actually have a lot harder time making male friends than picking up girls because I have such a reversion to coming across as a faggot to other guys or something.
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Im recently single after 1.5 years of going through a toxic relationship that I should've ended long ago

I dont feel like getting on the apps this time around. Im approaching mid-30s, and live in a populated city. Are my best best bars and social groups?
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I can't tell if this is supposed to be ironic, but I have a feeling she's just retarded.
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>doin sport
>cute girl that also does it comes up to me after
>omg its always so fun to watch you, you're so cool, what's your name
>anon, what's yours?
>anonnette
>c-cool, nice to meet you, hope to see you around again
>you too!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
did i fuck up? this is the only place in town to go for my sport so i'm really hesitant on trying anything with anyone and ruining my place there.
but i feel like i just blew a shot.
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I'll be taking her out on a date where I plan to move things to the next level, have her be my girlfriend. Should I go for the kiss or tell her I want to be in a relationship first?
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>>34435265
Definitely a fumble but to be fair I would have done the same. You might have a chance still if you see her around again.
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I really want to see if there is any tutorials on how to kiss anywhere on Youtube. And I also kind of want to research all those cold approach videos with guys having seductive small talk with girls.

Despite never having a girlfriend, I have been dancing a lot with some girls at the bar and getting their socials. Nothing more happens after that and I want to see if I could maybe get a little more small talk and making out with them while dancing in order to actually get laid.
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>>34435367
I think if I see her soon, I might just say hi and try and pass her my number in case she needs "advice" since I'm a bit better than she is. And if we get talking and things are going smooth after then maybe I'll make a move.

But at least for now I want a place for my hobby more than I'd want to date any of the girls there. Although they are really attractive.
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>>34435374
Yes, there are tutorials for kissing, but if you really don't know how, try going slowly and let her guide you. Some girls like the fact that it's the man's first time doing everything (I'm telling you this from my friends' experiences). Good luck!
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I had an abusive family and cptsd from it, I spent my life getting screamed at for dumb shit and then blamed for it, therapy didn't help, I just don't understand flirting, dating etc.

Someone above said something about being comfortable being alone, but i don't have a family and im so horny and lonely it hurts, you can't just decide to stop being in pain.

I have no idea how to even start getting better.
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>>34434622
If she really hated you, she would go out of her way to never look at you again
One of my friends met his future wife because some other girls were spreading the rumor that he was a potential school shooter, and that made her curious rather than driving her away
>he's not dangerous at all btw, he's just autistic

You give off 'potential school shooter' vibes to your co-worker, in a good way
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>>34435797
I'm talking about the girls friend, she's acting that way, not her, the girl who hates me works at another store now, and in fact ruined a friendship I had with another girl I met at work.
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>>34435932
We're talking about the same person, your current co-worker
She does like you because if she didn't she would never choose to speak to you
Her friend must have made you about to be a really interesting asshole, somehow
Just talk to her more and ask her out

Curious about what girl's friend, one who is a manger is so upset about

>In similar situation but both girls still work in same building as me
>One I'm banned from speaking to, the other I can talk to but she has a boyfriend
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Does it really make a difference if you talk to a girl IRL or online? Some chick I met once years ago goes to some event every week and I was thinking of showing up and flirting with her. Is there any point or should I just follow her on Instagram and DM her? Will it actually make a difference as to whether or not I fuck her?
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>>34436013
My bad I kind of just glanced at your post in a hurry. Anyways, she doesn't speak to me, she laughs at my jokes and some of my comments but apart from that doesn't really interact much. Sometimes after I have a long conversation with other people with her in the room, she'll keep stealing glances at me from time to time but when it comes to us two in the same room, she acts distant and doesn't say anything.

As for the other girl, it's a really long story, but basically when I first started working here she tried talking to me, I ignored her, she got mad and started being bitchy. Here's mostly everything in green text
>hit me near the groin but did it in a way to leave enough plausible deniability so I couldn't report her
>dropped salad containers on my head but this time a girl saw her do it and asked her why she was hurting me and she said "it was an accident!" which clearly no one bought
>blocked me from interacting with another girl while her back was turned by standing in front me essentially cock blocking me
>ruined my friendship with another female coworker by spreading some lie to get her to block me on everything (recent)
>every now and then she would act like she's annoyed by my presence passive aggressively (moving to the far end of the room to avoid me, moving her head to the side when we make eye contact, doing exaggerated moves to make it seem like she's annoyed)
>told all of her friends outside of work about me
>would sometimes talk shit about me while i wasn't there
etc.
Once I was standing outside waiting for my shift to start, she shows up with her friend to pick up her check, right as she's about to pass me, she puts her foot on the fountain near us and just stands there until her friend comes up and pushes her forward by the shoulders to force her to walk past me and as they're both leaving, the other girl asks her "is that [my name]" but she just stays quiet and walks away. She's flirted with me sometimes though so idk.
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>>34436095
IRL always has better odds of success than online.
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>>34435444
Are they really going to be guiding me slowly if they are college girls around my same age?

Like I would think that they want to talk to someone that knows how to kiss and other shit like that.
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How does someone lead off asking questions into getting into her pants? I never got how people to get from point A to point B relatively fast.
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>>34432869
she looks hot tho
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>>34436300
My go to is playing with her hair. If she doesn't object, go for a kiss. After that, it's smooth sailing
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>>34436482
I'm talking more about in text form. Because I don't want to get friend zoned by being TOO friendly.
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>>34433007
kek
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You know what? What if you are so weak that you are defenseless to a group of hot women suddenly having sex with you? Think of that instead of beating yourself up for being weak.
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Can someone post that pic of the Chad with the Asian wife and 2 kids?
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Niggers, why is she chasing me now that i stopped having a crush on her and have a text exchange with her only once a week if she doesn't initiate?
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Just realized I'm a complete social retard who can't read subtle social cues at all.

Is a woman choosing to use a threadmill near me mean anything? Or is it one of those "choosing signals" that women shoot at you with only mild interest behind it.

What can I say without sounding like a creep or retard in this situation?
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>>34437283
I'm sorry man but it means nothing.
In your neurodivergent brain you probably would pick a distant treadmill away from people by instinct but normies don't think that way, they just pick one
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>>34437291
Unless he was actively disgusting, I guess the small victory here is women don't mind being in close proximity with him, which is a decent step 1 for the lost
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>>34437291
Thanks anon, that really solves the puzzle for me. My autistic ass only recognizes women staring daggers at me.
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>>34437283
Yes, women signal interest by putting themselves in front of you usually. You just have to be reactive enough to initiate communication with her.
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>>34437283
Looking for subtle ques like this will only put you in your head and put you in an analytical headspace which is pussy repellant in itself.

Chad just assumes women like him. And if it turns out he is wrong he just assumes she is stressed out from work, has a beta provider husband, is a retarded bitch, or whatever and it has nothing to do with him.
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I'm so far fucking behind on this shit even if I do pull a girl I don't know how to make out, I'm fuckin cooked man
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>>34436865
What?
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>>34437461
eh its not that hard and there is no established best principles as far as I as I know. Just dont start licking her face or whatever.
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>>34437461
>i'm so far fucking behind on this shit
More and more guys are in your situation while more and more girls are getting ran through by the time they graduate high school. This isn’t sustainable, society is about to reset
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Fuck this noise. I'll just binge a bunch of Instagram pick up artist bros to see how to usually flirt with a girl
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>>34434897
Gaming other guys into being willing to be your designated driver is fundamentally no different from gaming women into being your flesh light. Apply yourself and you will reap rewards. Being a leader of men is top tier alpha shit
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Guys I don't fucking get it. By all incel, r9k and general perception I should be a fucking Chad. Tell me where the fuck I am going wrong because I don't get these bitches.
I am 6,8 (2,03m) tall, lean, dress well, white, blue/green eyes, 29. I can dance and have a social circle.
Tonight I went to the club with some friends. Without sounding even more arrogant I got some looks from the girls. I asked three/four to dance with me. All of them rejected me. I didn't want to grind up on them but really dance.
What the fuck am I doing wrong?
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Cringe time :3

>did a basic bitch intro with a girl
>she stopped after my 3rd message
>next day
>wake up from a nap
>message her "pretty boring intro huh, I should just invite you over to bake cookies together cus its raining all week"
>get unmatched

I'm really good at coming up with awkward faggy shit... a little too good
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>>34436962
prob because you stopped dumping and being more alouf/distant
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>>34438309
Asking for permission is cringe.
Dancing is cringe (it's 2026 and you're 29yo).
Gotta be more fluid/naturale (I don't know how to do this)
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>>34438309
really hard to say without seeing you. I almost always tell guys to go out and approach but you are an exception. You are 6 fucking 8. You just need to get on an app. There you will find some absolutely gorgeous 6'3 amazon woman who cant find a man because she is too tall for almost all of us.

You might need to ask friends or people you know personally why others might find out offputting. There is certainly something off about you but we cant diagnose on 4chan
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Don’t think, just react.
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>>34438324
yeah I feel like meeting any girl of quality is out of the question at clubs. I just like to dance personally and get lost in the music.
the asking part is true I should just take their hand and lead.
I am not a turbo autist (not anymore) but yeah I'd say I was/am a mentalcel more than anything.
any advice on being smoother/more natural?
>>34438325
Hinge banned me. that app worked really well. Tinder fucking sucks and I haven't tried anything else. I did not get many matches even with my height :( Maybe I need better pictures a better bio
My personality maybe idk like I said, mental blocks. And I am not escalating enough. I still respect women too much and actually ask for their name before groping them haha Chad just does it.
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>>34438342
>I still respect women too much and actually ask for their name before groping them haha Chad just does it.

yeah even from this comment I can tell you are socially uncalibrated and weird. Get a burner phone and get back on hinge. Find yourself a super tall girl thats pretty and can handle your autism.
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>>34437482
Can it reset fucking faster? I don't care if things go back to normal when I'm 40.
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>>34436135
So you think there's a chance that she would go out with me IRL whereas she wouldn't if I DMed her on Insta?
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>>34438309
6'8'' is around the "ok, stop growing faggot" range. The cap is around 6'3'' before you start becoming *too* tall for most girls
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>>34436618
By asking her out. You don't want to text too long and when you're texting, keep it humorous
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>>34434298
I thought so too. Some people are just little kinder than others, so it doesn't mean much.
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You got to bring up buttfucking with the first 5 minutes. Minutes 4 to 5 are best
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I feel better now knowing my aching feeling of
>tfw no gf
Stems from coping about how I dont actually love myself and I just wanted to insert that feeling onto somebody else.
>>34437461
Eh who isnt. Its nothing to get upset over as long as you try to improve yourself a bit each day and learn to like yourself.
>>34438309
Sure women like tall dudes but it is vastly overstated how much success it brings you. Im tall but only around 6'3 and I have piss poor luck with dating apps and meeting women in general. Being of normal height but socially outgoing/entertaining or being a cute twink is much more effective than being tall and autistic. But honestly who doesnt think they are missing something?
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>>34439342
The height thing IS an advantage. All anyone can do is put themselves out there, though, so it isn't anyone (here)'s fault
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Not exactly a KHV but I might as well be. I've been to these threads on and off for a few years, and I've seen all kinds of turbo autists who have anxiety over simply talking to girls, who need hand-holding and a whole script for every step in asking a girl out, texting her, and going on a date. But what confuses me is that I don't think I've ever seen anyone here talk about sex or even just kissing. There's such a thing as a good kisser and being good in bed, but no one talks about it or gives any advice or asks about it. And yeah, few here make it that far, but some anons get matches or dates and then come back with a story and ask why everything went wrong. I have never seen that for sex or kissing. No story about a girl getting annoyed in bed, or looking bored, or even changing her mind halfway through and leaving. But more than that, I'd expect to see way more stories of anons with performance anxiety, failing to get hard or being so overwhelmed they end up backing out of sex. Or even just stories of disappointment about mediocre and boring sex. Hell, I've seen plenty of anons who've had sex multiple times in the past yet still need help fucking talking to girls and getting dates. It seems backwards to me. I mention it because I heard your first time is going to be embarrassing no matter what, and it's better to do it with someone you're comfortable with, which makes sense. But that was many years ago, and things are different now. Many here will tell you you need to fuck by date three or four, and to never let the woman know if you're a virgin. That seems like a tall order to me. I know sex is something that comes naturally and you're not supposed to think about it, but so is fucking talking and anons can't even do that. So what's the idea? What am I missing? Any anons who made it want to talk about what their first time was like, or tell some embarrassing sex stories?
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>>34438316
Honestly not that cringe.
Girls are either into you or they're not, if they're not bothering being interesting at the start they probably were never going to be.

So best to just ask them out and get it over with quickly rather than get lead on with a bunch of 1 word blunt responses.
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>>34438318
I wasn't dumping, but i was very rapey and pushy
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>>34439683
fucking autocorrect I meant simping of course
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>got tomboy fwb in oct/nov
>chilling for a while
>caught feelings but didnt do anything because dates were going kinda good imo and we even planned a trip, but still accidentally acting like a shithead and not being responsive or showing high interest
>think she'll ask to date any day now
>get sick need surgery in january, cancel trip, she doesnt seem to care much
>horrifying weight of surgery that could fail shuts me down, become zombie and play games after work to numb
>grandma has stroke 2 days before surgery
>we start seeing each other again first week of feb, set back in new grad school semester, spend valentines weekend studying
>at her place next weekend, says she got drunk and fucked a dude without a condom, when her iud was expired, but he was tested
>show concern, says she doesnt want a relationship and it was reckless but implies its ok because we arent dating
>frozen on couch uncomfortable knowing i did this by not taking initiative
>leave after a bit
>cant sit with it, text 2 weeks later try very chill
>she was open but not willing to be exclusive but would hear me out
>realize i wanted to date her but settle for
>clarify and said
>says no, wants freedom to pursue a ltr with others, no long term desire with me, bye
>unsolicited follow up next day explaining her insecurity and lack of perceived interest during the relationship
>clarify that interest was there, but communication and emotional expression were lacking
Bros what do i do, its been a month. The advice ive gotten has been overwhelmingly move on but I'm not able to. My last relationship was very secure, i thought i was past all this. Im athletic, make 6 figs, actually handsome, nice car, so good at sex i made her tear her blanket she was gripping the sheets so hard
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>>34439781
Forgot to fix this part
>cant sit with it, text 2 weeks later try and reach out very chill
>she was open to seeing me but not willing to be exclusive
>tell her i like spending time and wanna see her again
>says she will hear what exclusivity with me looks like
>realize i wanted to date her but settle for proposing being fwbs because i dont think she will date me
>says no, wants freedom to pursue a ltr with others, she doesnt think she sees me as a compatible person for a ltr
>confused, clarify i wanna date too
>unsolicited follow up next day explaining her insecurity and lack of perceived interest during the relationship and so she pulled awat
>clarify that interest was there, but communication and emotional expression were lacking, i was just following the thing i assumed she wanted
said we should meet up to talk over dinner, but if it was a no, theres no need to reply
Fuck. I know ill only have a tiny chance and thats if i can get over this but the pressure to do so is making me stuck. Theres no way out huh bros? I started going to therapy because of this shit. She didnt really know what i was going through, only surgery, but not really how serious it was. She didnt seem to care, even when i joked i had lost 15lbs due to stress once.
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Work with this girl and we’re good friends yet of course I’m interested in something more. Drink too much and one time we were out told her I had feelings for her. Said she had considered it but because of working together etc it wouldn’t work out.
Fair and I was moving on. Still very close and I sort of fluctuate from being certain she’s in to me and certain she’s not into me. Very handsy when we’re hanging out, if I was less autistic I could determine if it was flirting.
Basically this whole situation is driving me crazy as I am decidedly too into her. Don’t know how to move things towards a romantic relationship or just move on. Would prefer the former obviously but I am not going to be suicidal if things don’t work out. The seeming limbo is what drives me crazy.
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>>34439414
I had, and still do have, erectile dysfunction from prone-fucking my mattress while flaccid from the age of 8 to the age of 30. And then sleeping 5 hours a night for 5 years. The first time I tried to have sex I couldn't get hard. She stayed with me anyway, we got by on me fingerfucking her and sucking her tits which I enjoyed even if it wasn't direct sexual pleasure. Finally got some viagra from GoodRX and plapped her in a hotel room. I couldn't cum though. Viagra got less effective. Finally I started sleeping better after I got laid off and finally quit prone masturbation. I was never able to cum from normal masturbation. Now I can although it's a struggle and at least my dick gets fully hard when I climax but it's a struggle to maintain a boner even while masturbating. Feel a lot of tension in my perineum. Went to PT for pelvic floor dysfunction and did the exercises but improvement is slow. At least it's something. I still need Viagra to fuck though.
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>>34439970
I did this too, just had surgery for a urethral stricture. If you have trouble pissing go to the doc, but its not gonna be fun. I get hard, but its a little flimsy at the base, and doesnt stand straight its like 45 degrees down. It does the job well and i dont lose erections. Were both 30, my doc also said that yea, you arent 15 anymore, so grown men dont usually get random erections or actually keep boners unless youre stimulated. I dont get morning wood or a boner unless im with a woman, which is kinda normal at our age, though there might be some slight effects. Get your testosterone checked too. If you go to the doc he will probably have you do that. I need to do kegel shit too, i really fucking hope it doesnt get worse when km older but for now i seem to be relatively normal.
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>>34439889
Your approach is wrong, you have feelings for a woman you've never dated, working together isn't quite the same. Ask her out for a coffee after work, if she declines, move on.
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Step Zero:
Have a perfectly regulated nervous system and be capable of staring at a wall for hours even if a beautiful woman enters you peripheral.

If you cannot look away from a woman strategically, you are fucked. If you don't even understand that the mere act of looking has immense weight and strategic subtlety involved, you are too low level mentally to even be in this thread.
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>>34440401
Achieved this years ago, it's all I know how to do now...
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>>34435367
What should he have said? I would've done the same and fumbled as well. How do you respond properly?
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>>34440645
Nta, wpuldve fumbled as well, but just talk to her like you would a guy into the same hobby for a bit first, then say we should get coffee and talk more, and aso for her number? Idk
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Have you guys ever had girls who are already in relationships be the only ones that initiate conversation with you?
Here's my situation: in social environments, I only get compliments and talked to by the girls that have bfs.
The single ones don't even look at me and only say one or two words if we happen to talk.

Why's this? I'd rather have none of the girls talk to me over this.
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>>34440401
>Have a perfectly regulated nervous system and be capable of staring at a wall for hours even if a beautiful woman enters you peripheral.
>
>If you cannot look away from a woman strategically, you are fucked. If you don't even understand that the mere act of looking has immense weight and strategic subtlety involved, you are too low level mentally to even be in this thread.
worrying or even being conscious of small things like that is more harmful

the only thing that really matters, is how little you care about attracting girls, and how many girls you can meet

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