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life is gonna just suck for about 2 years you just have to get through it

you don't get to have a normal life anymore even if you decide you want to be a deadbeat you will get heckled and shamed all your life so you might as well just be a good dad

>>34436856
What’s gonna change after 2 years? I’m still gonna be stuck in this situation. I need my freedom back.

>>34436888
the level of care that a newborn needs vs a 2 year old is miles away, and then at 4 it's another giant leap, and by 5 it's just life with another passenger

you'll get to sleep again and maybe even go on dates

you only miss your freedom because you don't have it and you want to escape something diffucult, kids are a good pusher, you will be a better and more effective man taking care of a family by force

what do you think being free is? just banging 22 year olds any time you want? playing video games until 4am with the sound on? do you need that?

>>34436844
OP, could you list the things in your old life that you miss, and mark the things you think you would get back if you left your wife and kid? I don't have kids or even a gf but it might help those who do give you better advice. Make an effort and list as many things as you can. They don't all have to be important.

To me it sounds like you need to get your woman in line. Babies are a womans responsiblity, if she has you splitting baby duty or whatever of course you arent happy.

Men are supposed to be involved in parenting after the age of 7 or so when the kid can actually do shit and learn from you

Tough it out anon, that kid needs you. Mine is 4 now, it gets better fast. Your kid will pretty quickly form their own personality, and they may become an important person in your life. However, you will absolutely be the most important person in their life. This is a lot of pressure, just do your best. You talk about living a normal (I read this as idle) life, in time you may find fatherhood to be a good normal, I certainly have. Freedom is overrated, being a good father and husband when things are tough is a worthy challenge.

>>34436844
that's why children shouldn't have children.

>>34436888
>I need my freedom back
But you aren't pining for freedom, you're pining for what you desire, and all desires are a form of slavery. A man who compulsively plays videos games all day isn't free, he's just chosen for that particular addiction to be his master. It's the same for anything. So if you have to choose a master, it may as well be the life that you brought into this world. Live for the sake of your kid rather than for the sake of yourself.

I've always had the notion this could happen to me if I became a father. I'm so flippant about things in my life that if something doesn't work for me I like to just leave it but if you fathered a child you're already past the point of no return (unless you want to be a piece of shit).

>>34436844
>my normal life
This is your normal life now, get used to it. This is why you shouldn't have kids until you're ready to fully commit to raising them.

>>34436844
It'll get easier when they grow up more. Just hold it out and you'll be proud of your fruit when you see them become good adults. You made this decision, just be a good father. They deserve it for being brought into this world. Not everyone gets good dads. Be that good dad please.

I gave mine the easiest tasks.
Pour a cup of milk every morning, change one diaper a day, get the kid out of pajamas and into pants, bath, play with the kid while I cook dinner.

>>34436888
>I need my freedom back.
KYS, you will be very free by then

>>34436844
Anon. Get your T levels checked. Get your vitamins, minerals, thyroid and blood sugar levels checked. And check if your house has any leakage.
Look up CBT therapy.
Things do get rough, people do have these thoughts. Many act on them and regret them later. good choices in life, come from knowing when to nip a bad thought in its bud and seek help or ways to bring down the stress.
It isn’t as if life isn’t ever going to be stressful, as if all moments are going to be happy lucky yada yada. It is only in tough circumstances that are our ideals, our guts, our true character is tested. Rearing children is tough. But humans have reared children for millennia. There must be help regarding how to go through this, how to make the time tested right choices, how to handle your own stress and not be over come by it.
Your children are the true test of your character, they are the true test of your unconditional strength and what character you bestow them, how they remember you.
Life has always been tough, but the earlier generation never denied it was tough, and if it was they sang, they danced, they told each other stories of high hope and virtue. And they survived the economic depression and they survived the two great wars. Take the best lessons from them. Talk to your wife about this. It doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge your pain, but that you find help and overcome it. Don’t leave them. Know this is the human struggle. Love anon. You know you love them. Cherish them anon.