I masturbated in my school gym storage once on my new gf i got. I told her to come to the storage and turned out she was a gooner as well. We have some super hot sex but ended up breaking a pallet used for the height adjustment of various things for the drama club and she had to apologize to her friend(aka drama club president). Anyways miss her a lot, it didnt work out. we both left the country and went our ways. I hope she is well.

it's over.

>>34437622
Its starting

>>34437569
I'm being vague, but these suicidal ideations don't stop. I can't wait until my therapy session and loud music and hurting myself is not enough. I really need to kill this fucking nigger and then kill myself

>>34438733
http://www.textfiles.com/fun/suicide.txt

I'm an embarrassment to mankind

I wish I WAS braver with women when I was younger.

>>34438733
Don't loud music. Plato said most music should be illegal. He was right. Music will give you tinnitus. Don't listen to it.

I am obsessing over a girl who probably doesn't care about me. Saw each other three times from a dating app, made out but nothing more. She's young, cute (wasian) and well-read. I think I'm projecting a personality I want onto her though.
I am getting the impression from her texting (taking ages to reply) that she's not interested. But I would literally beat someone up just to see her. I am waiting to ask her out again for dinner next weekend.
How do I stop obsessing over her, or make her obsessed with me? She pops into my head every couple of minutes, if not more. This hasn't happened to me before. I want her to be obsessed with me too

Does self improvement really involve watching every half-asser around you slowly turn against you and destroy themselves? I know we're all codependent narcissistic retards but holy fuck can I get a day off from babysitting people with twice my lived experience? Somebody has to put in effort to make this shit stop instead of just whining and going to bed. I'm ready for this shit to end, I just wish everybody around me was also trying to take better care of themselves instead of using anyone else's time and energy but their fucking own. God, and I sound just like em...

being a fat kid really was what started off all of my issues which have lead to the shit life I have now. Thanks dad

>>34440379
Stop blaming your dad

>>34440379
me too. are you still fat? i lost weight and had a glow up after high school which changed my life. turns out i'm head turning tier attractive which is like stepping into an entirely different life completely. it's messed up thinking i would've been popular and had normal relationships in my formulative years had my parents just not severely neglected me but oh well. i try to think of it as i got a second chance at life and the fact that i am this great when /I/ take care of me just proves that i was just that i'm so much better than them

>>34437569
I am growing tired of this neverending job search. Growing tired isn't even the right phrasing. I'm downright depressed. Its gotten to the point where waking up before noon is a chore, and falling asleep without melatonin is hard too. I want to take classes to better myself, but honestly no matter what I do it all feels pointless. I feel like I came out of college already left behind in a world that couldn't give less of a fuck about me.

>>34440552
You are correct, but you are not alone.
I recommend getting some shitty part time job while you search for a full time position, having some sort of schedule helps.

I feel alone. Its my own fault, and Im not alone. I have a wife and two children. But I fucked it all up. I dont know how to summerize a lifetime of selfworth issues, but I never felt like I deserved them. I started cheating on her. I felt disgusted after each time. I dont know why I went back. Im not qualified but I think I wanted her to see me as some one to run from and leave. Again this is my fault, this isnt deflection.

Im doing this here cause Ive been on 4chan since 2006. I write this because she didnt see me as that, she wants us to work and still loves me, which gave me so much hope that I could recover. Now I think I see her drifting away. She gets and deserves all the support after what I did. I dont, and what I needed to get off my chest is not having the support because you dont deserve it is awful. If you have a friend that fucked up bad, see if theyre okay. Even if you also hate what they did, mine never talked to me again. I hope I make it anons.

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78.7 KB JPG

>>34440641
I'll rephrase this. What do I do when I want to maintain a friendship but I seem to be rizzless and retarded?

How do I conquer the tendency to be a potential annihilating confused cacophony of retardation? I have potential but I just squander it by being fucking retarded.

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1.5 MB JPG

Look at my bussy

I'm a walking retarded faggot comedy sometimes, or.... do I actively make that so by identifying it so?

>>34440856
the CUTEST

The recreation is so close it's honestly an ego boost. Everyday I get better and get closer to my own stuff. It's going to be a mindfuck to actually buy and own a house soon and in a few years I'll get va bennies and start a business. I did all of this. Someone will tag along eventually.

I like 2000s skramz/screamo/emo music but it makes me feel sad and want to cry so I dont wanna listen to it anymore.

I'm scared of eating food because I dont want my stomach to hurt.

>>34441020
LISTEN to the Killers maybe & Cute Without the E(Cut) & My Chemical Romance

>>34437569
Great image

I'm 19, been working part time job on fast food restaurant my life is fucked I still live with my parents thinking of dropping out of school and I also got fucking multiple disorders I'm a mistake to my parents and im depressed for the rest of my fucking life. I also got trauma when I was a kid getting beat up until to almost to death by my both parents and also plant anger to both my parents since they beat me to pulp even though I I just disobey them once they beat me
I also think I have no future considering I want to be cyber security analyst, is there no fucking hope for me?

All I think what negative shit prob because of multiple disorder that I have

I have attempted multiple s*icide, although all of them failed

>>34440820
Don’t ask for I am in the same boat.
How am I supposed to start a portfolio if my job won’t let me generate reports from sales/orders etc.? And using public datasets is frowned upon it’s not something directly related to my work. Maybe I will ask boss man tomorrow if I can work with stuff he has released to the public.

>>34441037
Drink painkiller

>>34440856
Nice socks he has on.

Being a sperg is both a blessing and a curse

>>34441186
Where is the blessing