>>34439197
You need to fight even if you've no strength in you. Fight to become someone who can father himself, grow through pain and you will find the better life at the end, that isn't a maybe that's a fucking guarantee. But you cannot reach it if you're dead. If you are tired, rest. If you are angry, scream, if you are sad, cry. It's okay to give up, it is not okay to give in. You can fall, it don't you dare refuse to get back up.

>>34439229
>Fight to become someone who can father himself, grow through pain and you will find the better life at the end, that isn't a maybe that's a fucking guarantee.
Speaking as someone who has spent the past 40 years trying to fight and grow: no, it fucking isn't.

>>34439246
If you've been trying to grow and it hasn't happened then what do you suppose that means?

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>>34439229
I don't relate to you

>>34439197
>I have no left to ask for help
Think about it OP: let's say someone wants to help you, sincerely, with no ulterior motive only the goodness of their own heart. How can they help? No one can soften your mother's hard abusive heart. No one can make your country less of a shit hole, no one can bitch slap the quacks at the asylum for failing you, even if someone desperately wanted to run in, avenge you, and then save you, they can't. Because it's not within their control. And only 10% of it is in your control. You can't change those three things either, that's why you despair.

But tell you what you did do, and you did it right: You took the initiative and the courage the cut contact from your abuser. You actually bothered to show up for me mental health support, even if they turned you away, you still had the balls to admit temporary defeat and to find somewhere to recalibrate. And you still put up with your shit hole environment and chose to wake up out of bed every day in the morning. And the reason why suicide is wrong is because you would be stabbing yourself in the back quite literally. After everything you've been through and the pain it took to survive up until this point and the courage too, don't forget that shit, courage which is defined by being afraid and doing shit anyway or trying to, you got it in spades and you don't even know it. You'd turn and stab that in the back? Give yourself some more respect dude, your life has been hard as fuck and existence for you has been work and you are here now still drawing breath from your lungs despite the fact. And you do have people to ask for help that's why you're here. But help probably isn't what you need, because you've already proven you're more than capable of a help to yourself even if you fight yourself over it. What you probably need is encouragement the real kind and not the fake namby pamby shit therapy puts out.