Basically im wondering if i should try to fix this or if its even normal because i feel like i am missing out on like THE purpose of life(human connection and family) by being a bitter shutin but every time ive tried to put effort into dating its ended, every single time, literally every time, negatively. Im not happy being single but trying to date or have anything to do with women ever again sounds miserable

>>34439691
You answered your own question, you didn't lose interest, you just don't think you can compete.

Is it normal to check out when cost > reward? Probably? Is my take on it that you should try anyway? Probably.

>>34439805
Its not just being able to compete its more being tired of all the bullshit. Like i talk to a new girl and its like ok, what is your plan here, how are you going to drag me through some bullshit? Are you going to save us both time and immediately reject me or are you going to drag me along for weeks giving me false hope only to ghost me and go for another guy? Is she going to bring a ton of bullshit into my life? I feel better mentally and even physically when i get physical contact fairly often and in my adult life its always felt like feast or famine with that so logically i think being in a relationship is the best way to fix that. Problem is most women fucking suck and escort are no different either. I basically have no escape now to deal with this problem but i still feel like shit because i lack it. It feels hopeless so i dont bother.

>>34439854
I am not trolling you but you mentioned dating apps and escorts, etc. You are scraping bottom of barrel and complaining that it's shit. Like yea, it's shit, you aren't wrong.

Is it all shit? Not nearly to the same degree. Will those girls even look at you? Probably not.

>>34439863
I tried irl stuff too not just dating apps and i found it was basically just bottom of the barrel everywhere. Like if you find a woman who isnt straight up illegal she is talking to like 15 other guys, who you have no chance of out competing, or shes sick of all men and is a bitch or both. I think its just shit everywhere which is why i dont want to try anymore, but i fantasize a lot about different things that i kinda need a woman for, and since they seem to be a never ending well of bullshit I never want to deal with them either

You're searching for a form of love and connection that women are incapable of giving you, start from there

>>34440292
Exactly the problem. I am wanting what I can't ever have and is impossible to have. So it just creates a constant loop. I feel if I could deal with women's immense bullshit I could get what I want but I really can't. Or if I could use whatever tricks to get it but to me it's clear if you need to use tricks she doesn't want you and it's gonna fall apart even harder

>>34439691
Women who want you, make it easy.
If they are not making it easy, they don't want you.

>>34440458
You're close but not quite there yet. You've fallen into the trap that most young men have after the abandonment of our cultural rites of passage, in that you are still looking as "being with a woman" as validation for your existence. You acknowledge that they have nothing to give you and you dislike them, yet you still desire one not for the relationship itself but because you seek to feel "valuable" and only see having a girlfriend as the way to do this. The answer is not forcing yourself to deal with a woman you don't want to but changing your own perceptions.

>>34440477
Which is why I don't bother with them anymore because it really feels like no women want me, it's just weird to me because I meet guys who are wayyy worse than me who have no trouble with women. It's like, really, according to you guys I'm worse than that dude? Fuck you, you shouldn't be allowed to speak your dumbass opinions.

>>34440504
Is it really validation or is it the one pleasure I can't have? This idea that finding a partner is some neo-modern thing sounds ridiculous. Like whenever I talk to old people about their life they frequently talk about the partner they had, the kids they had, etc. They aren't going on about what movies they liked. Or the company they created, if anything they regret working so much. I think it is biological to want someone and when you are barred from getting it, you either have two options of either giving up or fighting and fighting in this situation will just get you killed or in prison for the rest of your life. I can try to shift perspectives. Be glad I'm not responsible for jesting some woman who isn't attracted to me or raising some kids who will make my life hell but it feels like the point of life is to be with someone and reproduce. Failure to do so is a failure of an organism. Animals fight to the death over this stuff, humans are just smart enough to find copes but at the end of the day it's copes

>>34440697
Once again, you need to change your perspective. Humans are more than just material animals, we have consciousness, and there's more to life than just passing on your genes. Think of the countless people that came before us that didn't have families or children but were still content on their own, creating or being a part of their communities. If you reduce the entire human experience to just one of sex and fulfilling base desires, you will lead an empty existence.

>>34440767
> If you reduce the entire human experience to just one of sex and fulfilling base desires, you will lead an empty existence.

Im not reducing it to just sex and base desires. I am looking for something beyond what i am living in life. If anything, what you are suggesting is a far more empty existence. Go on, work all the time, buy stuff, forget that you are abandoned by love. Forget that you arent getting what most, a majority, of men get, easily. Forget that you are broken, that is the only explanation on why you cant get that. Why you have to buy things to forget that you dont click with anyone on that deep of a level. I agree, humans arent material animals, they are social animals, and being rejected this badly would be a death sentence for most of human history. Its why, unless you have say a religion or something like dedicated monkhood where you are around other guys who are like you(and thus now have a tribe and a purpose) you are going to constantly be lacking and knowingly lacking what everyone wants in life.

I have learned over the years the life i have would be considered hell on earth for most people, and in a way, biblically(1 John 4:8 ), you could argue you are in hell if you receive no love. Hell is enteral separation from God. I dont want to deal with women today though because i absolutely fucking hate them and hope they lose literally all of their rights at this point after seeing what theyve done with them but at the same time, feeling subhuman all the time is not a sustainable way to live.

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>>34439691
You need to get your testosterone level checked. I might be the problem.

I put up with all my girlfriend's shit because she has the sweetest, tightest little pussy you've ever seen. I LUST for her honey hole. My favorite place in the world is balls deep in her. I go through all the other things because I need that pussy.

Get your T level checked. Hormones are everything. If you have low T, you will see women as the inferior beings they are.

>>34440803
The problem is i dont get pussy, i get to watch other guys get pussy but i never do. Why would i put up with a woman who is NEVER going to put out and is going to whine about how me touching her is abusive or whatever fucking stupid excuse they give? Your girlfriend is probably older, the women in my age group and younger basically bring all the problems, zero benefits and give no shits about it the entire time. I dont want to deal with any woman because i know the reward is nothing while the price is disrespect, lack of attraction and lopsided relationship effort. Its literally not worth trying with me.

I could get my test checked even though i take tongkat ali, work an active job, work out 2x a week, and eat healthy. I think after a while when you get nothing but negative reinforcement you stop trying to bother with them. My issue now is depression and anger bursts towards women which i can usually hold back on because i know the average woman has more rights than me and people will care more about her than me, but it still leaves me concerned. I think over time i have become less and less empathetic to them or their safety as i feel like they are basically rich people hording wealth for stupid ass reasons. I used to not be that bad but each year i get older i get more angry and bitter. There has to be an end to it. There has to be some kind of path to fix it.

In my case it wasn't only being disadvantaged in looks and charisma but also being burned by the negative relationships I had and then everything compounded by very bad health issues. I just feel like I have bigger priorities than a woman

Not sure if this was also a factor but I had a generous financial windfall professionally and having money also seemed to make women even more irrelevant. I really do think the whole obsession for men to get rich is tied to being obsessed with women in some way and once you get it that desire also falls away because you don't have anything left to prove idk

>>34440795
>thus now have a tribe and a purpose
Why not go that route then? I'm not saying that you should just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and live to work and consoom, I agree that's even more empty. But you see those other guys in relationships that you're envious of? They're also miserable, lonely in their own relationships after buying the lie that they would feel complete if only they had a girlfriend. You've figured it out already and I said it before, but these women cannot and do not want to give you the love/validation you seek. You will put effort into them without getting anything out of it other than maybe sex. With that in mind, your options here are to try to force it knowing it won't work, or look for other avenues to fill that need for belonging.

>>34439691
You chased cheap, meaningless connections and got bored of it.
No different from how non-psychopaths feel if they cheat at a video game. Fun for a bit, maybe, but then it just feels like a waste of time.