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My mental health has been spiraling downward the past several years. I was pretty bad before I got into THC, but after my psychosis, I have been getting much worse and I am told that me having a THC induced moment of psychosis is evidence that I am genetically predisposed to schizophrenia.

I am plagued by schizo thoughts and superstitious religious existential dread and I find myself talking to myself in public. Im not talking to anyone but myself, but it's like my mind has made it seem like I need to verbalize my words because my thoughts are so intrusive and horrible that I would rather think by talking than talking in my head where the intrusive thoughts are so loud. I think that my actions, however trivial, matter and can affect reality and doing things like flipping light switches or getting clothes can take several minutes because of how superstitious I am

I want help but I know that being labeled as such would make it impossible to get in certain fields. Would it be better for me to bite the bullet and get diagnosed anyways?