Thread #34439821
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hello. so my bf is on a cocktail of drugs including an upper and apparently he said it only started happening once he took an ssri. but he kinda has some issues keeping it up. it sucks bc im a deviant.
however, ive kinda learned that its not bc of me since he calls me beautiful multiple times a day, makes me feel so pretty, etc, he really goes feral over me. i’m drop dead gorgeous so i’m not concerned with it being a me thing, he said he was using viagra before we even met. there was a time where i thought it was me, but i have gotten past that. he has been really busy lately so its also a lot on his mind.
however, i have to ask. how exactly do i handle it in bed? it doesn’t happen often, but last night we kinda just stopped cuz we knew it wasn’t happening. he got upset, i could tell it bothered him cuz ive been pent up lately and he didn’t get me there. i kinda just snuggled up and told him it wasn’t even on my mind and it is perfectly okay and i am happy just having this time with him. but he was pretty beat up about it. kinda hurt me. obviously i can feel when he goes soft, im not gonna pretend i dont, it goes from feeling heavenly to feeling kinda meh. so i cant exactly and wouldnt want to fake it especially since i get really wild when we get going properly.
so, how exactly is the best way to handle this? what would you want your gf to do if you went soft during bed? did i handle it okay?
inb4 “haha id never go soft” “dump him” “it’s you” etc
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anxiety and stage fright contribute to going soft a lot. Its less likely to be a long term factor in a long term relationship but still might be. Always try to make him feel like there is no pressure. And you can go back to cuddling if he goes soft. Play with his dick see if it gets hard again. Basically just be reassuring and communicate to him that its not a problem and you are here for him as long as he wants.
This is what my gf did for me when I was having dick problems (anxiety based) and it all went away after a little while
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>>34439821
You have to find the line between being chill about it not happening but still enthusiastic about his dick and having sex with him.
Like it's really not a big deal that it isn't happening right now but you're excited to try again later after he's had some rest, some water, and a meal.
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>>34439842
we’re just at two years in so not exactly the longest, but i HAVE noticed that the best sex we have is either very spontaneous or when we both have no pressure so we kinda just let loose. i’ll remember that and i’ll do my best to not make him feel it. originally i would get beat up about it since he’s my first, but i realized how bad that is since it puts even more pressure on him… so i stopped that long ago and wish i never felt like that to begin with. i did try to go down on him but it wasn’t working, so we just snuggled in bed and i reassured him everything is great. thankfully it doesn’t bother me anymore. i will continue that then, thank you for your help!
>>34439861
oh my god that’s such a great idea. i need to figure out how to phrase it. he ended up saying how we can do it tomorrow and i was happy with that. i didn’t even realize to say something like that myself. need to figure out the proper wording. thank you.