Thread #34440113
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For once in my life a woman is actually interested in me and I actually like her also. I rarely get attention from women and it feels great honestly. However, I am 34 years old and she is 40 years old. I have actually never had a girlfriend and a friend strongly suggested that I do not date this woman. Mostly because I haven't had many experiences and dating a woman in her 40's is a large jump apparently. I also would like to have kids in my life and I am not sure how easy / hard that is to do as individuals above 30. What really kills me is that I really do like her. She is so kind to me and we have good conversations. I try to keep things at friend level but she has implied wanting to go out on a date with me. Ultimately, I consider her a friend but do you think it would actually be okay to date her?
The biggest reason for not dating her is the age gap and the fact that I do want to have kids and get married etc. Like if she were my age, I'd ask her out in a heartbeat. How would I even tell her? "Hey, I don't want to date you because you are 40+" Sounds cruel. Help.
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Rampant misogyny of 4chan and the internet aside, women can still get pregnant over the age of 40. It stops when they hit menopause. Which will happen in a few years, so time is ticking. Date her for fun, to learn about her. Then she may tell you she doesn't want or can't have kids and then you'll know. The most important thing is that both of you get laid.
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>>34440160
Wouldn't it be cruel to date her with no intention of really being with her though? I think that is what I get confused on. I don't want to harm my friend. I find it hard to date someone knowing that it won't work out. A different friend even suggested I try and just date random women even if I don't like them because I need experience but that seems cruel to me. Why date someone you don't even like?
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>>34440182
NTA, but I was in the same boat, even the age gap checks out. I was always dating her knowing some day I'll want to move on and after 1,5 years, that's what happened. Is it cruel? We had a great time together and I don't regret it, doubt she does either. Go for it anon, it's not like you'll be marrying her tomorrow, you might just end up sleeping couple of times
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>>34440333
I can't do that to her I think. Not saying you are wrong for doing what you did but I just wouldn't be able to bear it. Especially if we get attached to each other. Maybe it was never meant to be. Fuck... I have never felt so distraught. I think a lot of this stems from me having like no dating experience. Its so hard to find a woman who likes me and I actually like her back and vice versa.
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>>34440346
But is it worth the cost of potentially emotionally harming a bunch of women? I honestly don't care if I ever get my heart broken. I actually expect it. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing. What I don't want to do though is go around playing with other peoples feelings. That to me seems too far. However, having next to no dating experience really weakens me because I don't even know what I really like I guess. Or how I even would behave in a relationship. A friend once told me that a lot of men think they would never cheat until they are put in a position that is opportunistic. So what if I am actually a weird cheater at heart or something. Who knows? There is a lot I don't know about myself because I haven't been in those situations. I have kissed one woman and she was the one to initiate it.
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>>34440358
Stop moping anon. You're worrying about harming "a bunch of women" despite having next to no experience and being potentially a "weird cheater", get over yourself. You like her, ask her out, see where it goes
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