>stands near you so you get imprinted on me
humans 1
birds 0

>>5091270
They've declared war and they're as smart as humans now, so imprinting doesn't work,

Penguins in Antarctica are likewise fighting for Team Bird, so you can't hide there either.

>>5091267
we'd be fucked big time. even small birbs can take out your eyes and they are everywhere in huge numbers. no one could walk outside. we'd need to reinforce all spaces we use with mesh wire and they'd probably figure out how to get in there too. and if not, they'd just siege and starve us.
so small numbers of survivors in fortified buildings or underground, running out of supplies

>>5091267
>nuclear weapons would be useless against them
No

>>5091291
are you fucking kidding, all we need is buckshot and motorcycle helmets, burds will be rekt in a year

>>5091336
No way to take most them out with nukes without rendering the world uninhabitable for humans.

>>5091351
>ultra-intelligent cassowaries get called in to disembowel you

>>5091409
The largest, most powerful bird is physically weaker than a malnourished 14 year old african american with a $5 gas station pocketknife.

Also their entire clade is extremely susceptible to several respiratory diseases that mammals are not. Give them an ultimatum: we aerosolize some germs and come up with a new way to control bug populations, or they fuck off.

>>5091414
Good luck developing those germs when the power grids for your labs are all down and the birds kamikaze attack and/or sabotage the engines of any aircraft

>>5091416
We literally have them already and please remember, birds are extremely weak.
The best they could do is force their own extinction with zero negotiation.

>>5091267
What is their goal though? How are they organized? How are they overcoming the fact that a lot of birds eat other birds as their main food source? How do they get their landbound units around? They can't really make or utilize complex devices as they don't have thumbs.
People would probably have some issues but birdproofing isn't super hard. Helmet and thick clothing and they can't really get at you, and then all you'd need are big nets, shotguns, clubs and tesla coils if you wanna be fancy.

>>5091267
If they had human level intelligence they wouldn’t just automatically kill themselves trying to kill humans. At most we’d have to agree to stop eating birds and eggs, and maybe not fuck with their habitat.

>>5091267
we just build more wind turbines
hasten global warming to increase tropical storms
spray ddt
birdshot
harass them to prevent them from sleeping
this isnt very hard, birds are really fragile, we almost wiped them all out without even trying half the time

>>5091267
>let my cat outside
>999,999,999 birds slain

>>5091270
Doesn't that only work on newborn birds who are seeing for the first time?

>>5091432
wild burds wouldn't give a fuck about chickens

just because they're intelligent doesn't mean all the bird species will effectively cooperate...the crows will probably come on our side

Emus would conquer Australia

>>5091576
If a corvid "sides" with a human, it's working for an individual

File: 1000027686.jpg (166 KB)

166 KB JPG

We will probably have to return to 14th century technology wise since we already had a perfect solution against birds.
Now what to do on the offensive side I don't know. They are too fast and agile for melee.
Guns won't work because the sound of a shot will get trapped inside your helmet and reverberate until your eardrums explode.
Maybe some sort of a slingshot will work.

A super bird shot shotgun and a suit of armor is all you need

>>5091690
>>5091694
>bigger raptors pick up roggs, pieces of rebar etc and drop them from high altitude
>enough kinetic energy for serious blunt force trauma
>birb bombers stay out of shotgun range

>>5091267
They won't do shit. If they are smart enough they will know the only thing between them and bird influenza is human intervention. 8 billion apes with the capacity to alter genetics and entire ecosystems is not a fair match up irregardless of whether their survival depends on it.

File: c0146860-800px-wm.jpg (141.3 KB)

141.3 KB JPG

>>5091267
I'm defecting immediately

>>5091409
>ultra-intelligent cassowaries get called in to disembowel you
They're gonna swim halfway across the world to Finland then freeze to death? What a genius plan.

I'd worry about the vicous petrels and gulls coming for you in Finland

>>5091267
We have sonic and microwave weapons now and we could just spray DDT everywhere. Least threatening animal awareness apocalypse ever.
>Keep in mind
Fuck of plebbit. KeEP iN mInD that even a harpy eagle has one (1) shot at a single person and if it's not a kill it gets donkey stomped. Every single bird in your scenario is a kamikaze pilot. By the by just because they suddenly have human scale intelligence doesn't mean they would have any understanding of how our technology works, nor would they suddenly be able to read or understand our iconography.

>>5092435
>reintroducing DDT
only humans would be braindead enough to do this again
>inb4 screeching that it wasn't that bad and it was a librul conspiracy taking it off the market

>>5092440
It wasnt that bad and the minor cost to a few lame birds was worth malaria eradication. No one noticed or cared about the birds.

We WILL do it again in the future.

File: 1763858969878225.jpg (149.3 KB)

149.3 KB JPG

>>5092435
>>5091694
Look at the damage a bird can inflict by "accidentally" dropping a cat from the sky. Now imagine if they coordinated their attacks and dropped even heavier objects like a bombing raid.

>>5092457
The upper maximum of what a bird can lift is around 40 pounds. And all the birds that could do it are large and easy to shoot. There was a bird suspected to have sometimes preyed on humans, though its primary target were giant moas, the Haast's eagle. Guess what neither of those are around anymore.

>>5092459
The hypothetical was that birds have human-level intelligence so they would simply remain at high altitudes and plan their attacks so you never had a chance to shoot them. Also kind of hard to aim at the sky if you have a shower of rocks and sharp objects raining down on you. Even a 40lb rock could kill you if dropped from a high enough altitude.

File: 71mgxMP2Q1L._AC_UF1000,1000_QL80_.jpg (84 KB)

84 KB JPG

>No one noticed or cared about the birds.
except for the fact that the catalyst for public opinion against DDT started with a book that detailed what it did to wildlife.
i'm so glad we have monsanto on this board trying to correct the record. i wish nothing but bone marrow cancer on your entire bloodline.

File: The Future You Are Choosing.jpg (40.4 KB)

40.4 KB JPG

>>5092466

>>5092472
lel humans would be powerless without their power grids, electric/internet cables, aircraft/automobiles, and against an enemy that's too high to shoot with a gun and will bombard them the moment they step outside.

>>5092466
How many birds can lift a 40lb rock?

>>5092470
beats having to deal with malaria

We can't exterminate rats in spite of our best efforts as is and you're expecting birds, small birds more often then not. *Smart as people* birds to not be imposible to wipe? They're going to kill you back just as badly.

Smart birds would among many, MANY other things quickly arm themselves with lethal dosages of most any killer agent you can think of and freely invade homes to slip that shit in your wrist with a needle or sprinkle a dose of murder into the flour.

>>5091351
The bird would not ever attack a guy so brazenly as that. At minimum the bird would attack at night. You can't kill them first because they hid their nest under a false door tile in the roof and have 3 escape routes through the walls of your building. They already evacuated their family from the house and have set 15 burn piles in the wall with the help of their mate and kids, snipped your fire alarm and stuffed your locked door's keeyhole with concrete powder and water they pulled from the neighbors' truck because ofc they fucking can and all of that would be trivially easy to set up.
Putting aside the fantasy part of them all being hostiles the smart birds are just an improved version humanity. Their whole bodies are often smalled then the volume of our brains as in and that giant thinking organ is just magically attatched to all of them so no shit they are getting the power to freely cheat biology and also they get into replacing all our jobs. Secretary bird secretaries for all those useless pretend jobs where you stand around and talk and most fine handling types of labour can be replicated fine with the dexterity of a bird working their two claws and their beak. Worst case you need to pair up for the job. The only things they don't have is an easy way to replace backbreaking labor to which they're just going to have to leverage machines, reinvent draft animals or make a point of gathering 1000+ birds to birdually extract dirt from a hole and pull up something.

>they will quickly figure out how to sabotage drones
my man there are human groups that can't figure out stable form of government unless aided, for birds to figure out how sabotage drones overnight its beyond human-level intelligence, its alien level intelligence

>>5094349
Only the retarded OP said that (maybe as a bait and you fell for it.)

What they 'are' smart enough for by default of just assuming they only get to live like wild childs and not ever develop understandings of the human stuff around them is that windows exist and stop hitting them and that they can gorge themselves on crops because the dazzler and scarecrow or the noise maker or whatever it is that's in vouge isn't able to stop them.

Actually the ability to freely consume farm crops might actually be the quet death kneel of humans here even before the birds act hostile since farming as we know it has been invalidated by birds eating all our shit.

File: 1680006791158.jpg (273.8 KB)

273.8 KB JPG

>>5094351
There's plenty of nukes and weapons talk going on in the thread so I doubt it was bait.

>freely consume farm crops
>hello mr. chang, we seem to be having a little problem with birds eating our crops, how much for the metal nets?

>>5094354
Birds with human-like intelligence would quickly figure out how to remove the nets?

>>5094862
how would you do it if you were the bird with human level intelligence? at any problem you're looking at you just turn off your brain and go "eh, birds would just figure it out", but there's no figuring out certain things if they neither have the tools or resources for certain things, if birds want to destroy a bunker with seeds they just can't no matter what cause you're certainly thinking "eh just carry a bomb flying and drop it there", but some anti bunker bombs weight either hundreds of kilos to several tons, so no amount of birds can lift em, now, surely for a problem as simple as a metal net, you can cut em with tools, but what bird can handle a bold cutter? or an angle grinder? cause sure as hell there isn't such thing as a bird that can cut all sorts of metal with its beak

sometimes i get scared thinking about if ants all one day decided to kill us and they had perfect coordination/an actual non-pheremone psychic hivemind. they have the biomass to do it.

>>5091267
Bird control programs would encourage mass breeding of cats.

>>5091267
birbs extinct

>bring back DDT to weaken their eggs
>blast trees with shotguns when they roost

>>5095038
thats cool, but anteaters, most animals on earth exist to eat ants specifically

>>5095093
all it takes is one ant getting into the white house to nuke us all. with human intellegence they can drive cars and easily kill most their predators

>>5094349
https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-europe-35750816

If that included the ability to communicate on a human level, they *may* first send "diplomats" to discuss proposals for mutual cooperation or at the very least, a benign coexistance.

If not, or if such advances show little prospects, all they would need to start, would be for them to gather up trash pieces of foil, mylar balloons & confetti streamers, torn-open metallized chip & crisp bags & packets, and other light, chaff-like metal and drop them into electrical substations, transformers and other exposed parts of the electrical grids.

With us now sent back centuries, they *may* revisit earlier proposals, issue terms of surrender, demand it unconditionally or continue the war.

In any case, life for humans will never be the same again.

>>5095196
shotguns are cheap and plentiful
DDT is easy to get
almost all manmade aerosols are toxic to birds
none of this requires electricity
it only needs a place to start, and a place to end, while birds pick between suicide and surrender
and you're falsely assuming birds will suddenly know how electricity even works (also, the power grid isn't actually that fragile, most of what you're describing would do nothing or burn up and do nothing)

>>5095148
True but all it takes is one anteater in the white house and their plans are foiled.

>>5091267
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Birds_(play)

Could we make some kind of sonic weapon that could emit a frequency that shatters their hollow bones?

>>5091351
hello mr retard, sorry to interrupt...
you know BIRDshot exists right?

>>5095202
The birds would quickly figure out not to eat DDT-contaminated crops, plus many of them don't even eat crops. Besides, you wouldn't have time to spread DDT or aerosol or use shotguns before the birds rained down holy hell on you with their bombing raids.

POOP
THERE'S BIRD POOP EVERYWHERE
OHH THE HUMANITY

>>5095270
if ants had human intellegence and coordination they could kill an anteater.

Bruh there are undiscovered tribes in Brasil who are literal humans at war with the modern world and they don't do shit. A lot of human infrastructure isn't intuitive at all. Do birds suddenly know how to read English? No? Then they aren't ever going to figure out how to dismantle a wind farm. Also laughing at gun fudds itt. The way pioneers killed the passenger pigeon, trillions of birds, is by putting hidden nets under some corn and dumping phosphor on the tards that landed and got tangled. Bird has to eat at some point. I am happy for your childlike innocence, OP. We have laser guided guns that can evaporate someone from twenty miles away but yeah, sure, the birds will just stay safely in the air dropping rocks and sticks. Based retard.

>>5095555
Not if there's a second anteater that eats them first.

>>5091267
Depends on if we know they have declared war on us or not. If we don't know, and they refrain from attacking people directly but rather go after our infrastructure, then we'd lose without knowing we were ever at war. All they have to do is light some power stations on fire, drop a few rocks on important seeming people, and we'd take care of the rest ourselves.
It makes more sense for intelligent cats and intelligent birds to go to war with each other.

File: 1000028630.jpg (33.3 KB)

33.3 KB JPG

>>5095613

File: hr7yqlor0nl81.jpg (111.7 KB)

111.7 KB JPG

>>5092457
Always remember this fact when discussing bird extinctions and the eternal war: birds shot first

>>5091267
i wish some gigantic war or pandemic would reduce humanity to just 1 million across the world.

I double wish for >>5095798 to come true, but anon will spend the rest of his days being chased by 999,999,999 faggits gunning for his ass

>>5091267
I would side with the BIRDS

>>5095669
I think a lot of people, you included, are confusing "gaining human-level intelligence" with "gaining knowledge". We'd had human-level intelligence for thousands of years and yet it still took us the last two millennia to be where we are at right now, technologically speaking. Giving birds human-level intelligence doesn't implies instant military master tactician knowledge granted overnight, it implies they too can learn similar things that we can learn, at a speed similar to us, which means, if they want to know how it all works around us, they too are going to have to take the same amount of time it took us to learn, more than enough for humans to notice "hey, the parrots are picking up books to read".

>>5091267
We use fucking robots with automated turrets.

>>5092459
>The upper maximum of what a bird can lift is around 40 pounds.
That's equivalent to almost 50 hand grenades. That's a lot of damage.

Cat ownership goes through the roof

>>5094348
Humans exterminated the most common bird in north america for fun.

>>5091267
The birds that frequent my feeder would vouch for me and I live the rest of my life in harmony amongst them

>>5096018
Cats would get slaughtered by birds with human-level intelligence

>>5096400
Same.
>this anon has 3 bird feeders and 6 bird houses
>he's one of the good ones

File: punt_gun.jpg (135.3 KB)

135.3 KB JPG

>>5091267
>A punt gun is a massive, historically significant shotgun, often over 10 feet long and weighing 100+ pounds. Mounted on small boats (punts), they could kill over 50 birds in one shot.