Thread #21974996
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Why has Kinder never released an actual block of Kinder chocolate?
+Showing all 50 replies.
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>>21974996
It's more expensive. There are already a lot of companies producing blocks of chocolate.
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>>21974996
That kid on the package is up to no good
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>>21974996
Why would they? Kinder uses some of the most generic milk chocolate for their candy products. They would bring absolutely nothing new to the already saturated market by doing so.
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>>21975009
Kinder chocolate is better than anything else on the market
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>>21974996
It might pose as a choking hazard to American children.
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>>21974996
The answer is REDACTED
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>>21975069
>Ferrero's Kinder Surprise toy linked to child's death in France
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>>21974996
Because you're meant to enjoy one at a time.
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>>21974996
x4, shrinkification is really a thing :/
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>>21975242
I thought Europe demonized individually wrapped things like that?
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>>21975247
not to my knowledge we don't. we even wrap our women
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>>21974996
Because it's made of children (if you don't believe me look up the word "Kinder" in german).

German scientists started making chocolate from children in WW2 to get around cocoa blockades. People loved the recipe so much they kept making it.

People would notice if the whole bar was children but if it's only a thin layer it is much less noticable. You can prove this by trying it out yourself.
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>>21975323
>German scientists
Like most good European foods, Kinder is Italian, retard.
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>>21975415
Italy was allied with Gemany, dum-dum. They obviously hired german scientists to develop Kinder chocolate.
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>>21975428
piedmontese scientists are just french
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This is more addictive than Crack cocaine
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>>21975415
Actually, multiple kinder products were either german or co-developed by germans.
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>>21974996
There's Kinder Riegel which is essentially a larger kinder chocolate. Still not like a whole bar of chocolate though.
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>>21974996
you can just get the easter egg if you want more chocolate
too bad americans don't celebrate easter
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The German fears the Eurocrem Blok
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>>21975539
I used to get one of those and one of the dark chocolate ones from Perugina every year as a kid but I wouldn't touch the nasty-ass Perugina one at all.
Now, in middle age, Kinder is far too sweet for me. I'm still not a huge Perugina fan (except for Baci yet my parents never bought the Baci eggs) but at least I can stomach it.
>>21975511
Ferrero is an Italian company. Full stop. Nobody is arguing that KitKat is a Japanese company just because they have regional varieties.
>>21975620
I like Alpen Gold.
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>>21975684
>Alpen Gold
Huh, never seen that one in those ethnic stores, only the usual generic stuff.
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>>21975722
They're mostly Russki but they make Nussbeisser, a milk chocolate bar with whole hazelnuts throughout, for sale in Poland and it's delicious. Aldi sell a similar bar in all of their stores, even internationally (I've seen it in the US and my cousins in Australia buy it) but it's not quite as good.
If you're going to stores that have Serbian products, I guess I'm not surprised you've never seen Alpen Gold.
I only mentioned it because chocolate+hazelnut.
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>>21974996
They always have the sexiest children, even the ethnic ones too
Just compare it to any other product featuring a child model in the cover
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>>21975620
What does European taste like?
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>>21975323
Acksually, that's a commonly spread myth, despite being a "German" product, the "Kinder" name is refering to the English word and alluding to the fact that they actually made the chocolate making process a lot kinder. Up until then all chocolate was made by Baal worshippers and in fact did require human sacrifice
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>>21974996
Because it's not chocolate, it's palm oil.
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>>21975005
I enjoy
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>they don't know
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did you know that since 1974, over 30 billion Kinder Surprise eggs have been sold worldwide?
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>>21974996
because their 'chocolate' is sugary shite that melts at about 15°C
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>>21975808
kys
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>>21975539
those are terribly overpriced.
one could buy X times the same amount of chocolate in Kinder bars for the price of one easter egg.
the surprises are pretty cool if you're a kid tho.
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>>21975708
hate how americans alone ruined kinder surprise forever
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>>21976188
>the surprises are pretty cool if you're a kid tho.
That was the point, dummy.
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>>21975620
I had once E-Uro-Krem. it wasn't to my taste, but much worse it had a rubber like consistence. not really melting like chocolate does, but just a softening. don't know what this stuff is made of but it can't be good for you
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>>21976280
but we were talking about the chocolate ("buy the Easter eggs if you want a larger portion").
what's the point of buying a 20-euro egg unless you're a child (or manchild) interested in the toy inside?
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>>21976302
Because you have a kid of your own. But yeah, the guy saying to buy the Easter egg to get more chocolate is a big dummy.
I've not eaten Kinder in literal decades: do they still make the hippo eggs? Anyone know that I'm talking about? The huge plastic hippo toys with dozens of tiny, solid, individually wrapped eggs inside? I kept that hippo for years to use as a coin bank.
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>>21975069
>pose as
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>>21975811
immigration

>>21976295
It's rather crumbly, idk what you got. It's not classified as chocolate, afaik. Swisslion calls it "Milky cocoa cake".
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>>21976308
the only Hippo Kinder product I'm aware of is pic related, which is similar in taste to Kinder Bueno.
I've never seen any larger one in stores.
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>>21976308
I have never heard of such a thing and I was around before they slaughtered the professor. There are "crispy" schoko-bons that are like "hippo eggs".
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Ferrero is too set in their ways to sell bars of pure chocolate. Especially when they've got an addictive hazelnut spread.
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>>21975515
They had to start producing these when the Somali kids showed up. Representation and all...
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>>21976673
>>21976659
No, it was a transparent, egg-shaped container, like Kinder Gioia with a few modifications. Rather than the flat bottom Gioia had, it was round and stood on its "side". It had blue hippo legs, tail and a head glued to it. The orange part of the Gioia was also blue. There was also a chicken one but having only two legs, it didn't stand up unaided quite as well. Originally, I used them to store Kinder toys (I had the hippo and chicken both) then, when I got old enough to have money, coins and paper.
Video related is Kinder Gioia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf8W9OTtVg8
Gioia (and the hippos/chickens) were absolutely in production until about 1991 or so but the animal-shaped ones seem to have been memory-holed. Even Vulli trains aren't as thoroughly forgotten as these are. And there are only, like, five YT videos about those.
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>>21975073
in europe the death of a child is considered merely a mild inconvenience
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>>21976999
Italy is in some weird Kinder parallel universe that has stuff nobody else has ever seen
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>>21976673

Speaking of assassinating.
These were SO good. Thick cool chocolate in an awesome UFO shape filled with raspberry or strawberry quark. Yum!
RIP o7
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>>21977256
I used to make quark cubes in chocolate, just freeze in an icecube tray with a stick in it, dip, then thaw in fridge.

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