>>2971891
>selling house
>require 24 hour notice before any showing so I can deal with things
>agrees to this
>proceeds to attempt to disregard it, literally, every single day until it’s sold
They’re like children.

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>>2971928
the vile roastie listing agent of the place next door told me she
>couldnt believe people have the audacity to even make an under asking offer in this market
>i just immediately reject them and laugh
mind you this is in reference to a pos single wide on a comically narrow lot in a podunk little hillbilly one horse town where our state bird is fentanly for the absolute bargain price of $349k
these fuckers should be first on the stake

>>2971954
>>i just immediately reject them and laugh
shoulda made a real low ball offer, with a few choice comments.

but DESU, she sounds like a good agent. one of my pet peeves is agents get flat % so they have no incentive as sellers not to take a low offer and make 97% of the commission with 10% of the effort, then on to next one.

I've got a nice junky "storage unit on the street" van I could loan you to park in front of their house.
Way I see it, in my 'hood (I'm a renter) the 'hood could pony up $20k split 20 ways to buy my van and scrap it, and they'd all get $5K boost to property values.

>>2971928
at least it sounds like he was trying to make you money and not let any buyers slip away.

this thread really ain't going like I expected. :(

Borrowed money from my parents to buy a house. We aint rich, it was 60k that they inherited and refused to invest.
>Realtor needs proof of funds, which we provide
>Realtor does not pass this along to bank that owns the property or her boss
>Contract almost falls through because of this
>I get snarky emails from realtor's boss about how any idiot can say they have 60k
>Have to scramble to fix their fuckup, while at work.
In the end the realtor did slip me a $50 home cheapo gift card, which is more useful than an apology. I truly hate bossbitches though, they think leadership is rudeness and operating off assumptions.

>buying my first house in June
>use the inspector my agent recommends (whoops)
>doesn't check the AC because it was "too cold to even turn the system on, couldn't risk damaging it"
>it was 50 degrees that day
>doesn't notice that the freon line inside the house has been cut, even though he flagged several other issues with the ceiling in the basement right near it
>ends up costing me $1500, my agent says there's no way he could have possibly checked it and I should be lucky an AC repair isn't more expensive
>after a lot of yelling at people, my home warranty eventually reverses their determination and covers the whole thing out of a "gesture of goodwill" after I give them even more money.
I'm finding a male agent ext time, fuck women.

>>2971891

My realtor tried to hook me up with her daughter and I should have accepted because she's a model now

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>Poor as shit but I can read a room
>Economy is recovering after the 2008 meltdown and I know housing prices are gonna spike
>Paying half my income on rent/housing insurance
>Fuck renting, I need to get off the treadmill
>Work with RE agent and clearly state my desires and price range
>Small house, big lot, pre-1970, fixer-upper, not in a cookie-cutter neighborhood, limited road noise
>He keeps showing me 3-4-5 bedroom homes that are too large and well outside my price range
>Tiny lots, huge garages, newer homes, big developments, near major highways
>After refusing a ton of homes over several months he pawns me off on a junior agent
>I tell her what I want and she's able to find several of 2 bed/1 bath homes on the market

I ended up with almost exactly what I wanted. A 1950s fixer-upper ranch house in an old neighborhood on a decent sized lot. It was the smallest, cheapest home on the street. The only major upgrade was someone installed vinyl dual pane windows at some point. Half the lot is a backyard for my dog. Its quiet enough that I generally don't hear anything with the windows closed. Total I was paying for the place was slightly higher than the rent in a duplex of the same size. A few years later I refinanced when rates were low and it shaved 15% off of my monthly payment. Meanwhile, the place I was a renting is now charging almost double what I was paying. Renting is a fucking scam.

TL;DR find an agent that is hungry, not chasing big commissions. Buy whatever you can as soon as you can. Rents keep going up but your mortgage stays the same.

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real property should be exchanged over a handshake between the owner and buyer with the paperwork assisted by the county clerk
insisting that the transaction be buffered by 2 premenopausal holes is beyond irrational. and then allowing them to collude to maximize their 7% take is insane
the entire thing is fucking wack

>>2972086
well put and good meme

not only does the entire Listings thing and their shitty low-info Zillow etc need to be shit-canned, since this ain't 1940 where you are stuck looking for houses in a 3 mile radius....

But the whole rest of the transaction with loans, inspections, etc needs to be standardized with AI and all the Fees cut out. If banks will give me $350 gift for opening a checking account and switching my Direct Deposit payroll for 3 months, WTF does a Home Loan come with big fees? They should pay YOU and make an initial deposit of $1000 in their local town bank, just to say "Hello and thx for the biz!:)"

If an RE Agent isn't a full blown House Inspector then WTF even are they?, since "searching listings" is all online now.

>>2972086
sounds like RE Agents are similar to lawyers in that "one moved into town and business was terrible, then another one moved in and business has been great for both ever since".

RE Agents don't seem to provide any clarity. If anything they will take your question and bring you back a mangled non-answer and "that will be the best 'we' can get out of them" and act like you are crazy for wanting a straight answer to simple question.

I buy either a new car or cheap (low risk) beater, and when I buy a beater I don't so much examine the car, but the seller. Have they owned it for a while and seem to have legit reason for selling, like new mini-van, baby and tight parking. Or husband died and grannie is a non-driver, etc. I've even done "Junior got in minor fender paint swap and gee, he had no insurance, so no DL for a year, so dad is making him sell. :)"

>>2972081
The thing is, RE agents are idiots. If they weren't, they'd be working a real job. I say this as someone who's done IT work for a lot of agents.

You also have to realize that they only get paid if you buy a house. This means they are going to try and find something more expensive to get a better commission. But this means also they are wasting their time showing things you obviously don't want. If you want a 1 bed room and they show you a mcmansion, don't even bother getting out of the car. Don't even go to see a house if they don't send you the listing and it's not close to what you want.

Not the RE but my bank.
You have to get an appraisal and then the bank itself sends someone over to check if it's what the report says it is.
So I sent it to them and I hear nothing for like a week, maybe 2. Then I get an e-mail saying that the house is nowhere near the asked price and that it requires massive renovation to even be livable.

This was very surprising since the people I was buying it from were living there, and it looked fine. Turns out they sent their guy to the wrong house, nr 4 instead of 104. I went to look at nr4 and it was a while away, turns out it was a literal ruin of a house.
Dumbasses wasted about a month by doing this. It was on top of a bunch of other nonsense that caused delays. Another great one was saying I could get X amount of mortgage, me doing all the necessary things and then saying I suddenly can't, I can borrow about 30.000 dollars less. So I had to refile the entire thing now with my fiancé added to the mortgage, just to be able to get the right amount.

The entire experience of buying a house was stressful. I had the sellers bothering me asking me what took so long. I swear I went up one rank on the norwood scale from that entire episode.
But it ended up working out

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Wife and I looking for a nice house because we live in my tiny-ish flat
visit dozen houses with several realtors, only one catch our eyes

We meet the agent, we almost mistake here for a prostitute
>high heels, skimpy dress, too much makeup, butterfly tattoo on the shoulder, visibly dumb
>typical 70's house built by boomers
>big, very well built, not much "hard" work to do, small but nice garden
>BUT, ugly textured walls, ugly wallpaper that's peeling, fucking discolored stickers (picrel), the laziest paint job I've ever seen
>also, over budget
Heartbroken but we move on
>fast forward a few months
Holy shit, it's still for sale but 20% cheaper, we can afford it
>contact agent, we want to visit again
>come to the house with the agent, she didn't asked the owners, they are visibly pissed
>we visit again and still like it, but we want to price the paint job a few other things
>book another visit with artisans, only wife can go
>agent is not there, but the angry and now drunk angry owner is there and yet again had no idea a visit was booked
>owner rightfully throws a fit
>we want to buy the house but need to price a paint job, ms Agent, do you know a painter?
>yes, of course
>can we book a visit with said painter?
>...
>no answer for two weeks, despite chasing her multiple times
>as a desperate measure, wife goes to her boss
>she send a message to a painter, call the owners
>visit is tomorrow

Giving 15+k€ to that bitch who almost made us miss our dream home left a bitter taste

>>2972081
>Rents keep going up but your mortgage stays the same.
mortgages change all the time dickhead. ever hear of property taxes or insurance?

>>2972408
>Giving 15+k€ to that bitch who almost made us miss our dream home left a bitter taste
they don't give a shit BECAUSE people will pay them even if they do the shittiest job ever... as long as they buy.
I mean, what's their actual job? showing houses to potential clients and exchanging papers between customers and other people. any retard can do that, as long as they aren't retards in the most literal sense of the word.

I wish RE agents the most painful death. they are the worst cancer of this society. what are RE agents/companies if not leeches? and that's assuming they are not scamming their customers. they are on par with bankers and landlords.

when did society accept rent-seeking to become normal like this?

>>2972419
Why the dickhead comment? Do you really think my taxes and insurance is going to increase so much that it would match the nearly doubling of the rent of the place I was staying at before? My property tax is capped at a 2% increase a year. My housing insurance has not changed since I bought the place. I refinanced when rates were low and my total payment went down 15%. At the rate I'm going it will be 15-20 years before I even get back up to that much of a payment, let alone be anywhere near the insanity of the rental market.

I just had a death in the family how do i make sure no fucking darkie ends up owning the property

>>2972439
Sell it to Blackstone.

>>2972446
I just asume burn it the fuck down before handing it to any realtor or company cause they're just gunna put a fucking noid in it.

>>2972427
They must have been more useful once upon a time. Maybe when you had to drive a stack of documents to two banks and a notary and they'd actually get thw painter to give a quote without fucking up.

Now you're right. It's almost automated and a fax machine away.

>>2972439
Give it to the oldest son with the understanding he will in turn take care of his siblings if they need it.

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>>2972459
Agents seem quite good at convincing their clients "WTF would I ever have done without you" about all this "great info I never knew I didn't know", and how "helpful" the agent was in "The Process".

But I'm doubtful. Do agents deliver any info about the town or entire banking process that wouldn't fit on one page, correctly edited?

Reminds me of my Critical Thinking 101 class. It literally didn't cove 1/2 of picrel and was about 3/4 of a page worth's of info crammed into a Semester long course.

>>2972439
For Sale By Owner, post lots of pics, not the normal 20 odd you see on Zillow and include any DEFECTS.

Just flatly tell any agents you need to see IDs of anyone "touring" if you aren't present, otherwise fuck off. Maybe hire a....WTF you call him....guy that isn't an agent but has to be there to open door, no "Lock Box", and stay at least on street while anyone does "tour" or inspection. Maybe even a "House Sitter". Of course Agents will fight that because God forbid any useful info is exchanged.

Reminds me of when my Union had "job call" with a bunch of guys of various skill levels waiting for random Job Call to come in, and often just a bunch of guys sitting around for 2 hours for nothing. They always had CNN blasting on big screen. I suggested I could bring some of my old Construction text books and even old Blue Prints, to help guys brush up on skillz. Union goons didn't want "problems".

Also, just like if selling a car it makes sense for OWNER to get "Smog Cert", go ahead and have a basic Inspection done, and do WTF it would take to qualify for FHA, etc. Bank will need to send their own FHA Appraiser, but you can fix any FHA loan-killers before and market it as such.

How much is it worth and what city? :)

Oh, and do NOT put it on Facebook, etc before MLS and Zillow, due to this shit. If listed elsewhere MLS/Zillow with Blacklist your listing. Probably going to be ruled illegal soon, but not yet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92jDPrFygQM

BTW, this big youtuber agent is exactly WTF I view as "the problem" for lots of reasons.

"declutter" everything except the dining room table and chairs into storage. Only repairs should be what makes it qualify for FHA/USDA/VA loan. If that means cheap new carpet, or roofing, take lots of pics of WTF was underneath. Take pics of crawlspace and attic for Zillow, no matter WTF it shows.

Ask at gun shop or similar about RE agent recommendations if required.

>>2972474
>Also, just like if selling a car it makes sense for OWNER to get "Smog Cert", go ahead and have a basic Inspection done, and do WTF it would take to qualify for FHA, etc. Bank will need to send their own FHA Appraiser, but you can fix any FHA loan-killers before and market it as such.

PS-Seller will likely want their own Inspector, and I've done RE related home repair and there are definitely Buyer's VS Seller's inspectors and crooked agents, etc.

Still worth it IMO to spend the $400 or WTF to have a "Cert Inspector" kick out a report, rather than expect people to show up, put "contingency" then THEY pay for a Inspection on a house they are only considering buying.

After getting Report, take more pics of anything called out and maybe notes like "Seller will fix before sale" or WTF.

>>2971972
>they'd all get $5K boost to property values.
man fuck property values, just a way to get bent over by the tax man

>>2972474
You write like you failed high school.

>>2971954
You sound like someone who wants everything for free. Are you telling me you’d be fine taking less for your property than what it’s worth?
>double wide
How is inflation the realtor’s fault faggot?

>>2972970
I was the only "A" in college English Lit from a GPA killing professor.

Said I was like Hemingway, but diff, and "don't ever change".

>>2971891
sorry have never had problems. my realtors jumped through hoops to get my houses sold, and for buying my new house. they earned every dime.

>>2971891
Female realtors are all whores. Simple as.

>>2973324
interesting, what do you think of "the process"?

were they inventing hoops to jump through to give you the impression they were "earning their money"?

What exactly did they do that wouldn't be better done by some standardized format and a few forms?

Did their marketing include something that enabled people from out of the area to get a complete picture of the houses for sale, or was it just the normal very limited selection of pics on Zillow, etc?

As buyer, did your Buyer's agent send you a complete set of pics and other data about the house before hand, or did they force you to show up on person like an Arrestee going before a judge, deliberately withholding info they COULD send but wanted to put you "behind the 8-ball" and push you with "sunk cost fallacy" after you invest time and money "touring" a house? Did they tell you about a bunch of defects before you "toured" because of course they pre-toured as Mini-Home-Inspectors? Did you get info you WTF your new neighbors would be from the Agent?

>>2971891
Tell agent I only want to see houses in county x not county y. Keeps suggesting me houses in county y because she doesn't feel like driving to houses in county x since they're 10 minutes further away. She doesn't like the house I picked, years later asks me if I want to sell since my house is actually in a nice area w/o an HOA so the value skyrocketed. No-wayfag. Keeps e-mailing me retarded marketing shit years later.

>>2972025
My inspector missed that there was almost no AC going to half of the house. It still had a slight breeze. Flexible duct got sliced open by 1/2 inch metal support straps, so previous owner closed the damper. Cold air leak caused condensation buildup on small part of ceiling, which made it moldy. Easy fixes. I got $25k off of asking price because other buyers were scared of a little bit of mold.

>>2972037
They actually just wanted to use your house for a cheap porno shoot. If you were lucky they would have let you be a part of the bukakke scene.

>>2972037
>They actually just wanted to use your house for >a cheap porno shoot. If you were lucky they >would have let you be a part of the bukakke scene.

I heard tale of some mother-daughter RE Agent team that was suckering guys into marriage so daughter would get 1/2 house value in divorce. Normally that isn't supposed to happen, but there were setting it up with a few tricks that made it look like legally in divorce court it was "assets attained during marriage".

>>2971891
Is there any decent way to search for a realtor that isn't some flunkie whore? Everything I've read online is "go ask your friends," but what if I don't have any? Then just ask Google? Yelp? The homeless guy on the street next to mine?

>>2973296
And yet here you are, Heminggay, shitposting on 4chan with the rest of us.

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>>2974265
theres an easy phone app that will connect you with eager male agents in your area
dont be surprised if they request the first meeting to be in the local truck stop bathroom for anonymity as its a fierce market
many will accept cash or dairy queen coupons for the consultation retainer fee

>>2971891
I usually never deal with realtors, but the last time I was minorly involved in a property sale I met one that felt like shie came out of a horror story. She had a billboard in a nearby city and I had seen plenty of time. Her face on it always gave me the creeps, but it didn't do her justice. It looked like she was wearing a flesh mask and her eyes had a slight eery glow.

I mostly avoided talking to her, but she did catch me alone for a minute and asked me a few questions about some of the work done on the property. She then went back to her clients and said the exact opposite of what I said. Not that it matter, this was just a formality and buying at price regardless of anything.

>>2973435
>interesting, what do you think of "the process"?
irritating
>were they inventing hoops to jump through to give you the impression they were "earning their money"?
no, what a weird question.
>What exactly did they do that wouldn't be better done by some standardized format and a few forms?
they did everything. I'm a very literal person they helped me ignore aspects of forms and other things that did not matter.
>Did their marketing include something that enabled people from out of the area to get a complete picture of the houses for sale, or was it just the normal very limited selection of pics on Zillow, etc?
for one house it sold in 3 days from listing. the other one did not as the buying frenzy post covid had ended. I have no idea what their marketing was and did not look in to it. the second house got bought by an investor that gutted it and brought it up to modern standards.
>As buyer, did your Buyer's agent send you a complete set of pics and other data about the house before hand,
everything was online to look at.
>or did they force you to show up on person like an Arrestee going before a judge, deliberately withholding info they COULD send but wanted to put you "behind the 8-ball" and push you with "sunk cost fallacy" after you invest time and money "touring" a house?
uhm... no. this is an odd thing to write.
>Did they tell you about a bunch of defects before you "toured" because of course they pre-toured as Mini-Home-Inspectors?
well there was a disclosure sheet that was mostly filled with "unknown" since the seller bought it from the previous owners and who knows what if anything was disclosed to them the seller only made about a $10,000 profit from the house after concessions. we paid for the house completely no mortgage.
>Did you get info you WTF your new neighbors would be from the Agent?
not sure what you are asking here? do you mean did we get information about our neighbors? I think you had a stroke while typing.
to be continued

>>2974429
we wanted out of our old neighborhood. it was infested with crazy people and druggies roaming the streets, camping in the park and alleys. our old house was built in 1954.

my mother-in-law had just died 12 of 2021. the post covid sellers market was going full swing. house prices shot up from big money people from CA and IL coming in to our state out bidding every one. house prices doubled and in some cases tripled overnight.

our realtors asked for information on what type of housing we wanted and how much we were willing to spend. our budget was under $500,000 as we estimated we could get close to $700,000 for our old house and my MIL house. this gave us enough money to outright buy the house, and then have money for any repairs and upgrades we wanted.

we actually loved the very first house the realtors found for use, perfect location, perfect layout, totally bare back yard. even had a shed. but we had not consolidated funds at that time and ended up not being able to buy it.

total time from start of looking for a house to purchase was 3 months, with move in happening 2 months later because of upgrades, and repairs needed as the previous owners were heavy smokers. there was also termites. so we treated them while the house was totally empty. house required pain, carpet, and we also redid the kitchen (because we could).

we did NOT buy this house as an investment and have spent over $100,000 in preventative repairs. painted the horrible pepto bismol exterior paint, re-roofed the house as it was 30 years old. the previous owners did not do much in upkeep. though the house was in very good condition there was a lot of things that needed to be addressed before they became problems. we were aware of many of the issues before buying it, and we had an inspection that was the standard (sub standard) inspection. he basically listed everything I already knew about.

people say oh you need a permit blah blah blah home inspection blah blah. bullshit no one cares.