>>42531119
>QOTT
yes absolutely
it costs money to escape society now though unfortunately, and dysphoria makes me too dysfunctional to really do anything with my life

>>42531119
>QOTT
I don't know, I think it makes me more dysphoric to see me presenting as a woman who looks like a man than to just see a man and try to ignore it.

The fact that there are young, rich, passing trannies makes me want to kill myself.

think i was able detroon and repress because i trooned cause of agp, but e made me bi so then I was able to be attracted to men. and then since its so much easier to be cis and also i have aap now i detrooned

>>42531119
>QOTT
the qott is hard to decipher this thread. when you say seclude yourself from society is that implying going off the grid into nature? in which case i dont think i could because while i can cook for myself i cannot forage or hunt for food, so id be pretty fucked. but in the modern world i think its arguably easier to seclude yourself from society by still living "in society". im already half way there. its easy to get neetbux from the government and almost never ever go outside or interact with society or anyone else, other than having to see someone at the door when your grocery delivery comes. the only reason im not fully secluded now is that im in a shared housing situation with housemates, and have to see them. if i could get my own apartment i would be entirely secluded and go outside as little as i can, at that point i would probably actually move forward with repping.

>>42531119
>QOTT
Yes, that is actually one of my biggest fantasies.
become a woman, to also become a hermit.

>>42531119
qott:
yes and it's where i'm headed because i'm fucking old and hate being around people. i just want to feel comfortable with myself.

I would start hrt but still manmode because
>>42531317

At this point in life I have no interest in seclusion. Maybe when Im old, but id prefer everyone i know just not acknowledging the change

>>42531119
Gonna kill myself probably. Can’t do this anymore. Wish i repressed better.

Heard a truly shocking John 50 type story told about a parent's friends husband, my favorite part was when everyone at the table laughed at the guy like a freak.
Continued repping might be a bad idea

would you just be a feminine gay man (hrtlessly) if you could be assured you wouldn't be bullied for it and would find a husband you love that way?

>>42532136
no, sorry gincel

>>42531119
i lived in the woods mostly alone for a month and a half recently and i was maybe more dysphoric and considering trooning out more seriously than when i first realized it.

>>42532136
i am this right now and i feel suicidal constantly

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I'm just a failed male with dissociation, I need to snap the fuck out of this gay bullshit

>>42532243
what do you not like about being a feminine gay man?

>>42532434
being a man being associated the gender as a whole i feel sick

>>42532441
do you think you would care as much if you were masculine and more attracted to women?

>>42532461
if i was more masculine i would probably rope

getting drunk and laying outside in the snow at night feels so cozy
when you're relaxed enough the feeling of your body temperature going down doesn't feel bad at all

>>42532136
If I were naturally feminine and would remain so forever, yes. But I'd have to be a femboy pretty much.

avin a big cry

Saw a pic of a trans guy and his tdick was twice the size of my dick

>>42532931
lucky
I have a larger than average penis and it feels nasty to have attached to me

>>42532136
>feminine gay man (hrtlessly)
pass
Turns out being a very feminine man but with hrt is actually shockingly doable.

>>42532900
what if you just acted and sounded really feminine and would remain so forever, but your appearance was masculine?

>>42531119
honestly i kinda plan to do this, if i inherit money i will move out to the country side and live not completely away from society but a relatively secluded life

I just want it to be over

I wish my parents weren't wonderful loving people so I could kms without feeling guilty

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I never realized how normiebrained my taste in anime/manga and games is (just getting into both again in my 20s after a decade or so of consuming those occasionally btw)

I still have to play, watch and read a lot of popular stuff everyone raves about like AOT, Steel Ball Run, Hunter x Hunter, One Piece, Naruto, Dungeon Meshi, Cyberpunk Edgerunners, Metal Gear Solid, Devil May Cry, Resident Evil, any other FE games past the GBA and 3ds ones, any other Persona or SMT game, all the other Ace Attorney games, etc. not to mention rewatching stuff I liked in my teenhood like Clannad and Gurren Lagann.

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>>42534107
Here's one for anime/manga, proof I'm unrepairably malebrained to troon out ;-;

>>42531119
Fuck where did all of us go? There used to be so many of us

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My friend ignored me on steam all day and then he sent me screenshots of his chatgpt conversation he had...

>>42534107
Man it's wild that anime is considered male brained these days when I was growing up watching Card Captor Sakura all my friends thought there was something wrong with me

>>42531737
I only lasted a few years detrooning but I'm a hrt repper/manmoder now so I guess it's an uncomfortable middle ground

>>42534107
one of my favorite genres of game is simulators/tycoons, which is just striking me in how it bounces from fembrained (the sims, planet zoo) to malebrained (train and plane sims) depending on the game so violently

>>42534354
This fembrained/malebrain shit is just another way for society to put you down

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kms

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i feel extremely clocked by this video
i wish i could remove and burn the part of my brain that gave me agp
https://youtu.be/d27Hhr_ZN_4?si=77XJxS4BZZTWiAfr

>>42534181
Better than him sending you transphobic jokes all day.

>>42535177
Just from the name I know I can't sympathize with it, I've always hated shame/humiliation kink.

>>42532129
> my favorite part was when everyone at the table laughed at the guy like a freak
this is peak repfuel

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>>42532129
they will laugh at you regardless of whether you troon now or later. troons will always be ridiculed. unless you are the 0.1% of trannies that look almost identical to women.

>>42531119
Only women can be trans
If your internal world is male Dont bother yngmi
Being yourself means recognizing when this crap is fake and you are just a dude

>>42534116
reppers drop dead like flies, this is like a terminal stage cancer general.

>>42535429
trvke i need to accept
wanting to be a woman doesn't make me that no matter how much i want it if i'm not actually a woman. i believe in souls.

>>42535429
Isn't it pretty low to harass reppers of all trannies?

>>42535677
I’m not harassing
I’m saving you time
t.loser who thought he was trans

>>42535677
nta but it's helpful advice not harassment

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>>42534354
my taste in simulators and tycoons is too malebrained, im not fembrained enough, its over, i will never be a woman, its over

>>42535713
Oh sure sure, that's why you're here, you totally beat it and aren't just coping.

>>42532129
what was the story?

>>42535945
I’m more manly than all of you
Iwnbaw and that’s because I’m not one
Simple
My soul is dead and my corpse will plague the centuries

i hope one day within an ultrafascist government they round up every repper and drag us to concentration camps to be killed. it would be framed as a necessary act to protect a healthy society from the terminally mentally ill (whose illness, dysphoria, has no cure). and we would toil in forced labor and then be killed.

>>42536046
don't project your suicidal tendencies on the rest of us; i may be too, but i'd like to die on my own terms, not yours

>>42531119
take your HRT, retards

>>42537030
im sorry

>>42535801
> OpenTTD
> Factorio
> Stellaris
> Soviet Republic
> Sims

Are you me?

incase you want a glimpse of how much those very same pinkpilling trannies actually care about your well being after you enter the fish trap that is transing
look no further >>42536078

>>42524960
>>42525657
I too am in my 30s keep seeing femininity as something I'll get in the future
Is femininity supposed to be self actualisation or are you supposed to be successful first and that's self actualisation because I've failed once at the latter

I wish repression actually worked

>>42531119
at first sight i thought the pic was a representation of the chinese room thought experiment

Repression works if you are a true male

Suicide is transition
I’m trans

>>42535957
Its so specific im not sure if I should tell it here. But it basically ended with "yeah he was fine until all this shit happened, he's lost his mind now"

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how do i tell if i actually want to be a woman, or if i just deeply hate myself and want to be somebody else

>>42537785
Do you hate your dick?
So you wabt boobs?
Are you extremely feminine already?
Do you feel bad for being male?
Do you think your life would be better if you were a rich man with good looks and a legacy to build plus a parterre who lives you?

>>42537270
yes! i would like to be your friend, but i am deeply misanthropic and miserable.

>>42537829
>indifferent, i'd rather keep it than have some surgical facsimile ground into my crotch
>yes, but not if the rest of me looks male
>not really
>yes
>i'm a friendless avoidant borderline-neet with a head full of static who's been in college for too long yet still have no discernable skills for any job beyond stacking shelves, so yes, that would be an improvement, but that also wouldn't be a high bar to cross. the being rich part would be the main improvement since i wouldn't be able to use any supposed good looks, i don't really care about leaving a legacy important to others, and the concept of ever having a partner is foreign and unrealistic (if outright uncomfortable if i just woke up with one). the financial security alone would be good, though

Femreppers are more similar to rapist hons not shy reppers
They show the characteristics of their birth gender psychologically

>>42531119
can’t tell if kc green or the jenny’s life comic guy

i cant open twitter anymore it got full of tranny slop all of a sudden and it makes me really upset and want to cry.

hi reppers sorry for enroaching onto your space i just wanna rant. im a femrepper and im so doomed. 5ft tall or less shoulders so small bags fall off and ultra fembrain and stuck looking fourteen forever when im ufcking 19. why am i not killing myself? i absolutely cannot poon out. its so over

>>42539847
whatever

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>>42535177
>when feeling ugly, damaged and defective, that is: core shame. When it becomes unbearable, it gives rise to a narcissistic defence against it. The beautiful, sexually alluring trans identified self denies and disproves the shame left behind.

>rather than thinking of autogynephilia as a fetiish, I view it now as a kind of drug, a highly addictive and powerful drug for men in tremendous pain, overwhelmed by shame and self-hatred

ITS OVER

>>42540036
So it's yet another right-wing repper engaging in pseudo-scientific bunk and spitefully advocating for more misery rather than improving the situation for those younger than himself?

Why tf do i have to get in these cycles of certainty and doubt. I feel super manly right now when 12 hours ago I was certain that I would stop repping soon

>>42540806
lmao right FUCK

>>42540806
I get the same thing too. I think it comes from a lack of solid personality anf sense of self(cause and result.of trannyism.) so you just pick up whatever bits of mud are upfront and fill your soul up.

This is what makes me uncertain whether i want to be a tranny or am.i faking it. I feel like i could fill the void of my personality with anything anyone told me to.

>>42540036
they'll really just say anything in order to call trans women defective men

Well, at least I have internet.

>>42540036
this might be attainable natty for me

>>42539500
idk who those people are I just saved the image from 4chan I think

>>42537280
I also find people like this extremely irritating though

>>42540806
i think you have to decide based on practical circumstances not what you feel moment to moment stupid

>>42540878
the internet has gotten so evil nowadays that it isn't even a cozy distraction anymore

Men are so hot and I want to be one.

>>42541315
men are so hot but I really really hate being one personally

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>>42531119
being innawoods is unironically good for repping because you're less likely to feel dysphoric if you're away from performative gender roles of society

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>>42541315

>>42537280
what the hell is anybody supposed to do anyway the assumption is hrt will lift the dysphoric feels and you will put up with boobs hell even lowkey enjoy them even if hide them in public

>>42541319
Why do you hate it?

being a male is like being an Evil race in an rpg like i'm straight up an orc

>>42537280
tbhon you can't really blame anyone.
if I ever decide to stop hrtrep I most certainly won't be blaming anons on the internet for the costs.
i got what i was promised and was warned of the trade-offs and risks.

>>42541465
because it feels extremely wrong and disgusting to be in a man body
my body feels like it was made for someone else

>>42541333
I love being out in nature away from the social roles too, but I still hate my body just as much out there. I can't even go camping during the winter anymore because if the water is too cold I can't easily get the growth off of my face in the morning

>>42541319
it sucks being kind of a fujo because gay sex is hot but if i ever did it myself i would start crying

>>42541252
Well I've been in this cycle for like a decade plus now and its only getting worse, and they say that it only gets worse and is unbeatable, but im very naturally manly, still possible to be a twinkhon, but were getting dangerously close to buffalo bill territory

Every day I want to tell someone how I feel, to talk about my crushing existence, but since I don't want to do what it takes to fix it I can't. Every day the cracks get wider. I've already slipped before, someday the world will know me for what I am and it will all have been for nothing. Isn't it easier for everyone to just kill yourself now?

>>42541838
yeah

really sad i spent so much of my 20s not really living at all, not going out with friends, not getting to be myself.

>>42542545
me...

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>>42535177
I find it deeply upsetting that there are entire organizations of sadists who dedicate their lives to trying to force innocent children to end up like me

>>42535177
notice how there is never any solution provided, other than the implied "just give up"

>>42542649
I realize now if a kid has thought this shit through enough ti tell their parents they are certainly beyond the point of no return. Everyone thinks its grooming, but people really dont fake that shit

quite depressed and not able to sleep yet to skip the feelings

>>42542670
You know part of me regrets not blurting this out to my parents when I was a kid even if that meant getting beaten and screamed at (which is why I never told them, I knew what their reaction would be.) Sort of a "If you put it out in the open then it would've been impossible for you to try and hide from it like you did" mindset.

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Repressing is idiotic you'll end up looking like some disgusting freak

QOTT: Almost certainly. It's my fears about other people that are stopping me more than any concern about myself.
>>42543007
For the record, I openly speculated what it would have been like if I'd been a girl, had feminine mannerisms, borrowed female clothing...
I was met with such disgust I just buried it. Maybe if I had been more direct in my telling it would have been different, but I would have had to be a different person to have done that.

>>42531119
>QOTT
I just want it to not be a big fucking deal. "hey I'm transitioning, don't worry about it" and let that be the end of it without the speeches or million questions

Just came to shredded tguy torso again... i feel like the ftm chaser version of jeffrey dahmer

A lot of posts here don't seem legit i think you guys might be projecting other problems

>>42544324
thats because everyone here is agp and agp isnt real dysphoria

>>42542662
isn't it obvious? you're supposed to confront and come to terms with your shame instead of mutilating your body over it.

>>42543490
I transitioned in my early 20s but it was too late so I repressed
If you're having doubts about whether or not you should repress, it's already too late. You can tell you won't pass because if it isn't some developed fetish then you would've just done it already

>If you're having doubts about whether or not you should repress, it's already too late
trvke

Repressing and larping as a gay bottom good strategy?

is detransitioning repression?
im a detroon, i dont think im female or a woman im just an agp sissy mef and a man <3

>>42543490
>you can't handle my estrogens repper
>my estrogens are too strong for you

>>42544881
how's detrans going??
>dont think im female or a woman im just an agp sissy mef and a man
do you say that with irony or for serious

>>42544397
No the crying and bickering doesn't seem real
Agp is based

Ted was cuteeeeee

>>42544917
I’m 100% serious
It’s going I have to endure re-masculinization then after my t is strong I’ll be ok
It really hurts when people still call me a girl or by my fake girl name. It’s just so hurtful when they know who I am and what I am.

>>42545737
How old were you when you troon/detrooned, and how long have you been off e? Did you make a big thing about trooning out among your friends and family?

>>42545894
It has been a while but I kept it a secret from everyone but my bf
I’m like 30 now lol

>>42545737
how bad is re-masculinizing?

>>42546177
You get depression for a month then you are normal
Idk Im not there yet

>>42546177
well hope it's not too bad. i don't really have internal sense of being a woman im just a stoopid man on hrt so your kinda post was intriguing to me.
ill probably end up the same as you.

i just take hrt because it gives me relief from masculinisation. i do cope / wonder sometimes if i had lived experiences in society being treated as a woman and passing would that self perception change but it's like imagining if i could fly would i feel like a bird. god i hate these captchas they're so annoying

>>42546197
i meant to reply here >>42546230 to you fml

I don't think I've ever heard of a 'former' mtf detransitioner who didn't retransition at some point in the future desu. Shit always ends up being some kind of mental health crisis or sudden desperate attempt to win their hateful family and/or church back.

>>42546253
Good thing Im none of those
I arrived at this at my own conclusion
Im just not what I thought I was abd I am what I thought before tgat

>>42546230
The moment I talked with real women made me realize what a fraud i was being
I was never female
I think I’ll regret remasculinizing but I think I’m dead either way might as well stop lying to myself
I started hating the lie more than the masculinity of my body which in fact was never an issue in my day to day only in my mind.
I think I’m just ugly and if I could love myself abd find a girl I’d be ok with myself . Too many mental issues there but I digress
Transitioning is just escapism and lie for me not an authentic effort for my betterment

>>42546384
wow yeah i totally get where you are coming from well especially the first part i had a similar experience a little bit after the start of transing when i was actually putting in effort and thinking i was fully going to troon out that made me just realise im just so far from cis women its not even funny.
then i just slipped into anhedonia low effort maxxing life and transition until a half assed detrans attempt but i wasn't able to follow through.

also you have a bf but now you want to settle down with a woman?

>>42546606
I don’t think I love him it’s like meta attraction. He would be fine without me, he wants a cis woman too lol
I’m basically retransmit because I too don’t need it in my daily life, low effort living abd slowly dying from abusing alcohol and smoking. That’s ok. I don’t care
Im just a contradiction desu
I’m not real

>>42546630
you're like me in a different timeline at least i quit smoking recently ig
neither of us are real nona

>>42546332
Yeah senpai all your posts totally don't make it sound like you're in a mental health crisis. For sure.

>>42546876
Even if I am in still not a woman or trans or anything

>>42546851
I recently started haha
It’s all fake
Dont call me that Im a man, it’s disrespectful

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Anyone here ever tried inducing trauma so severe that you dont just dissociate but your ego dies completely and you are reborn as a new identity, unburdened by gender dysphoria etc?

>>42547443
Transitioning helped with that
It’s truly traumatic

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dream body

>>42547531
You can’t look like tgat cause fat elks take years to redistribute
Decades even

>>42531119
good question. ted should've worked on synthesizing troon juice from premarin instead of building his gay little bombs

keep taking hrt and anti androgens even though i know its doing nothing to me and i just look a little strange at best, my face is so fucked. its so masculine. all the laser and waxing and there is still shadow. i can feel myself giving up. i never got to like myself. ill never be comfortable.

>>42547931
>laser and waxing
why the FUCK aren't you getting electrolysis? laser is a scam and waxing isn't anywhere near as reliable

>>42544416
i cant come to terms with my shame, i hate myself. there is nothing about me as i am that i could ever like.

>>42547941
i refuse to humiliate myself again like i did when i had to go get laser

>>42547543
nigga obviously, thats why im repping

>>42547951
electrologists are way better, in my experience. more likely to have had trans clients in the past. i dont blame you for feeling that way about laser. i got laser on my chest and not only did it barely do anything, every time i went in the cis female techs went out of their way to remind me what i hon i am

>>42531119
>QOTT
Ted K maxxing won't give me an innawoods transbian wife.

>>42546954
sorry sir, won't happen again sir
did you get any surg? i have a deep seated hatred of moi visage but it's from dysmorphia and ugliness rather than actual dysphoria so surg is desired but scary because its wrong

the truth is that being trans is a maladaptive coping mechanism for my failure to be a man and an adult in general. i am hyper aware that i am very low status as a male and have little affinity for masculinity, i feel as if i am being judged harshly for failing at something i dont want anything to do with in the first place. the overall feeling is that my life is just something i want to escape from, either transform me into something worthwhile that i am happy to live as or simply rot and hide in shame as i have done throughout most of my life.

the only thing to do really is to face up to the reality that i am not lovable, that all my friends who tell me i can pass and that im feminine are lying to me. that i am a shameful ugly moid who is not worth much to anyone and that i will never understand how i got this way or why im different to others, i just have to suck it up because the alternative is continuously deluding myself and getting lost in fantasy as years rush past me with nothing ever improving.

>>42548315
>moi visage
We gettin' fantsy in repgen today. Should I break out the nice plates?

>>42548584
you have friends that you can tell this sorta thing to?

>>42549046
yeah trannies love reppers/babytrans, they like to pounce on us and tell us we are really girls inside and how pretty we are and will be. its kind of sick but they are just trying to be helpful in a deluded kind of way.

>>42548651
please. take the plastic off the couches too

>>42548584
for me i think that its too late to change, my inside world is too hollowed out. if i detransed and somehow managed to date someone nice and start a family it would fall apart at the seams eventually, my void consuming any relationship i'd try to have.
i was thinking recently how i've never been in love even. i don't think i could now either.
so i'd probably end up alone on the other side of detransing too realistically wasting the years away, i think being alone like this is slightly comfier. for now anyway.

Being trans is for the successful and rich. I definitely deserve my fate. Being a repressor.

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>>42544324
>>42544324
>problems

>>42549383
>i was thinking recently how i've never been in love even

yeah ive never really had anything beyond infatuation, im so preoccupied with myself its hard to focus on another person as anything other than a life raft. im incapable of love because i cant love myself. theres this emptiness that im trying to wallpaper over. i have to go back to the start and accept how i still feel like a shameful ugly little boy.

>>42548584
Self improvement can take many forms. You should think of transition less about improving and more about stabilizing yourself enough to improve in other ways.
What about outside of your relationship with masculinity? Do you have any career goals, education or creative pursuits?

>>42549503
yeah i have realised this, transition was a cope in order to escape the feeling of inferiority and brokenness. i have to become an adult somehow, but im repelled from the idea of career or education because i fear failure. i guess transitioning has had this effect of suspending myself, im an egg, im still cooking so i cant pursue anything yet, i cant exist yet. i need to get past that somehow.

fellow arrested development moders

>>42549046
ikr
imagine having people that affirm your continued existence in your life

>>42546177
nta but detrans gave me so much trauma and came on quick. I had forgotten what it's like to be a regular man after so long on hrt and I guess puberty was delayed for me. Five years of no facial hair, vellus leg and arm hair probably only as bad as some women, etc but then I was suddenly a gorilla with a beard and it came on so fast I had to try and rationalise it as just being a shock because it's so new but it's nothing but misery for three years before I caved in and resumed hrt

>>42544881
>>42545737
don't do it you fucking idiot
who cares if you aren't really a woman, at least you aren't like me
>>42546111
you literally have a fucking boyfriend

>>42542959
sleep deprivation can make you feel good actually

>>42543490
yeah it was back when I had the choice to not, but I already look like a disgusting freak and there's no going back

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I only have one semester of college left after this one and I'll have nothing to show for it except a degree in a field that I no longer even want to have a career in for moral reasons.
Coming out of HS I thought that college was gonna make me either finally grow out of the dysphoria or give in and try transitioning to cope with being alive even though by that point I already had no chance of ever passing (I could have been a twinkhon at least though, in retrospect that wouldn't have been so bad).
Instead I basically just did nothing and rotted alone doing the bare minimum to not get kicked out. On top of that I feel like I've experienced significant cognitive decline over the past few years too, I feel more retarded now than I did in high school. Idk how much of that is from drinking or from being an antisocial shut-in or just from the constant inherent stress of repping.
At this point I no longer have any hope left of things ever getting better. I think life will only continue to get less and less pleasant as time goes on.
Shit sucks

>>42550267
I like this one it also tanks your testosterone

>>42550623
wait seriously?
I just attributed the good feeling to my brain not functioning as much

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>>42549618
That sounds unfortunately familiar. I wish I had a way to turn on motivation. All I can say is be ready for it when it comes so you can take advantage of it. I have periods of motivation and periods of emptiness, but I always try to have something I can work on, a creative project or healthy new routine, when the mood/energy strikes.
>>42550618
If you don't mind my asking, what field were you training to enter? I'm years out of college and into my field (communication), but I've gotten pretty unsatisfied with it. I returned to education to change my relationship with my work (studying creative writing), but it's just left me kind of hating education lol
>>42550267
Seconding this.

how do i know if im trutrans or just coping with being a failure as a man

>>42551054
there is no trutrans. its just cybernetics. 1000 different things happened to you and all summed together it turned into this, there are many like you. it just takes 3 or 4 things to go wrong and suddenly you're a repper. there is nothing "true" about it, you werent born this way it just all went wrong. and now you have to deal with it.

>>42550134
Reading this reminded me that my next shot is tomorrow.
Iwnbaw (or?) but goddamn it I don't want T to poison my body even further.

>>42550801
I did animal science with a focus on livestock
I originally wanted to move on to vet school or maybe small scale ag entrepreneurship, but I exhausted the motivation you need to go for that pretty quickly. It's hard to really stay passionate about anything when you can't ever even feel like yourself.
All the mandatory career fairs and stuff basically just try to funnel you into helping manage some multinational corporation's industrialized pig death camp. Even just visiting those places on a regular basis feels like it corrupted my soul on some level. I've interacted with people in the industry and even though some of them make good money all of them seemed at least somewhat sociopathic.
I probably could have branched off into biotech stuff since I took a few genetics classes, but I never ended up pursuing it mostly due to apathy/laziness.
so basically I just decided to subject myself to multiple organic chem classes for no reason
>into my field (communication)
lol I had to take a communication class as a university requirement and being in a room full of happy gigasocial normie women was actual torture. I feel like a creepy disgusting ogre normally, but being surrounded by people who so clearly exemplify it in comparison was rough.

>>42550684
Yep i sleep 5 and a half hours a night. Works like a charm

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>>42551314
I didn't know animal science was such a misery magnet. I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised everything steers you toward factory farming or whatever. I always hear how the good jobs in geology are for oil companies...
>gigasocial normie women
I didn't even think about how I was drawn to a feminine career, but actually yes, journalism/communication attracts mostly female students at this point. I just wanted to write for a living. But both journalism and publishing are bad and getting worse.
I always thought I could do a masters and teach university, but doing some teaching and going back to school have just kind of showed me how little I want to teach or be in that environment.
>hard to stay passionate when you can't ever feel like yourself
That sounds familiar.
I think part of why I burned out of comm stuff is you're expecting to be a real self promoter. Think about how all journalists and writers have platforms. I don't like myself enough to even pretend to promote myself. And being around people who are passionate about writing just makes me depressed. I barely feel like myself sometimes, much less a writer.

>>42531119
I just turned 30, should I give in and transition? I had a dream where my body felt like it revolted against me and basically told me I'm trans. I have a weird body/brain sepeartion where I feel my brain wants to numb my body and my body wants to transition. Is that dysphoria?

All this to say... is it even worth bothering with at this point? It might help me get dates but I feel like i'll just be discriminated against trying to find jobs.

anyone else unable to properly cry? i always feel emotion spring up for about half a second before my brain involuntarily thinks "really?" and nothing comes out

the despair of knowing im stuck looking how i do, and i just have to force myself to live or i will just idle away and my whole life will be wasted, but i still have to be me, i have to learn how to like myself.

>>42551901
To be fair it is a broad major, I basically just listened to what my advisor told me to do and ended up in the livestock industry concentration which is basically half ag sci. A lot of the more general classes where it's stuff like nutrition were fine, and they were actually usually close to like 40/60 m/f I'd say. The female students were mostly the quiet tomboyish types, which do make me pretty uncomfortable in a different way since that would basically be the type of woman I could have been, but they're easier to ignore and not grating to be around. Pretty much all of the guys were very traditionally masculine manly man types (some were literal cowboys). Men like that actually tend to be very kind, I definitely don't dislike them, but knowing that I got grouped in as one of them by default felt very bad. Being around good people kinda sucked in it's own way too since I couldn't ever be genuine around them like this, at least with the people I interact with now I could care less if they feel offended by me having a front up 24/7.
>>42551901
>I don't like myself enough to even pretend to promote myself
real

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>>42552781
>The female students were mostly the quiet tomboyish types, which do make me pretty uncomfortable in a different way since that would basically be the type of woman I could have been
yeah... in theory i like tomboys but in practice this is all i think about too, they're the most potent source of my gender envy whenever i've come across one, both off- and online

Who is this artist btw?

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I haven't had a drink in more than a month, and I don't feel any healthier. But I do feel kind of down tonight. And there's pizza in the other room that someone else got, which I'd feel better about eating if I was drinking.
There's also some booze someone gave me as a gift last month. I don't exactly want it. I wish it was something I craved so I could just get drunk. But I almost don't care enough to get drunk.
Convince me not to drink repgen. Or to drink. Or to go to a liquor store any buy something I want to drink, I don't know.

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talking about college, what degree did other reppers major in/are currently working towards achieving? what do you think about it?
i'm currently studying software engineering (too dumb for computer science math), and i'm honestly terrified of what's ahead for my life. if i somehow manage to get a job in the field once a graduate (a task now painfully difficult due to the market being completely saturated), i'm afraid it'll just be prompting ai to write 90% of the code, leaving me to polish and fix what it made, knowing there will be a day where my oversight will no longer be needed.
i also hate the fact that i'm a stereotype. of course the computer nerd getting a degree in a male dominated field has tranny thoughts.

>>42553097
i have a bachelor's in computer science
today i went to work at a retail store and cleaned the toilets

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>>42531119
The only good path is getting a penis.
To finally have to body that give and not only stuck into receiving.
Oh! To penetrate and dominate! To be able to get inside of someone.
Imagine yourself sliding your sensitive sex inside and outside of them while they clench and contract around this part of *your* body.
To ejaculate inside of someone's intimacy with a very personal part of you.

What will you do, when I bend over in front of your, my ass raised up, offered?
Do you have what it takes to take me? Or will you just bump impotently on my skin?

>>42553130
I've done the whole "ejaculate inside of someone" thing. I wasn't the biggest fan.

>>42553078
go and pour the booze down the sink and pat yourself on the back for staying sober
make yourself a nice chill pot of tea or something instead. or just eat some shitty pizza :)

going out in public and towering over everyone in my giant hairy moid meat suit reminds me that repping is right

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What I want most of all is to have been in my early 20s and join a polycule and pretend to be a dog and do drugs and have people like me and love me and hurt me and do many many things and collect experiences so I can reflect on them and know I got to exist.

>>42553573
The whole polycule degenerate trans culture shit is another one of those things that fueled my repping, I absolutely did not want to be associated with those people.

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>>42553500
I didn't pour the booze down the sink, but I didn't drink it either. I opted to eat the shitty pizza instead. I figured I could either get drunk and overeat, or just overeat.

>>42553573
i just want my early 20s back

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>"it's not too late if you're over 30, just look at /r/translater!"
>20% luckshits with huge round eyes and 80% boomerhon repfuel
>the majority of them admit that they're misgendered in public, even with years of HRT
>don't say anything because wtf else are they supposed to do

It's never too late! (too have another drink)

>>42553573
im getting to live your dream and now im trying to plan out which days i can see each of them and i met a new girl like 2 days ago

>>42554108
I'm not trying to convince you of nothing, I'm in the same bucket as you, but them admitting they're misgendered in public doesn't necessarily mean anything. Passoids here say the same shit.

>>42553573
it honestly makes me sad that some people are lucky enough to get the opportunity to transition and still waste their lives on retarded stuff like this

>>42553549
Same but it's not "right," it just is. There is no other choice.

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i was pretty happy yesterday and even got told that i sound 'too comfy' but today it feels like my brain randomly decided to make every fiber of my being tell me to kill myself. I don't know if running out of alcohol yesterday was a good or a bad thing.

misery

>>42553097
If youre in college troon out immediately. I dropped out to pursue the trades which have been good to me but obviously makes trooning out near impossible
>>42553721
Me too (im 24)

I'm a detroon. I look forward to looks maxxing as a guy.

>>42552182
what about your libido?

>>42553573
Honestly this. All of that stuff is extremely cringe but it is still something instead of just existing.

I wasted my youth by not trooning out right after high school and being a cute puppy for my trans gf
I’m 30 now abd I will never be a trutrabs based woman pi’s bisexual freak who does what she wants abd has real authentic experiences

>detroon
>finally grow happy trail
>it's black
>my pubes are ginger
ehhhh

>>42534181
>im gonna drill myself

>>42540036
I had all of that and I'm cis as a button, the two are orthogonal.
>>42535177
obligatory stop repping start living

im 29 and i have no degree or any skills or interests or a job i just have dysphoria

what the fuck do i do, i need someone to tell me how to live my life.

>>42537829
>a rich man with good looks and a legacy to build plus
>a parterre who lives you?
hang in there nona, the ambulance is on its way

>>42542649
idk i dont think there are actually.

>>42544892
kekd

>>42544416
i should tell this to my friends with tattoos

>>42553721
same
>>42553573
might've been cool

Reading story's about Afghanistan or similar countries really help me to repress. Not so healthy but it's still something I guess.

I hate not even being a repper just a legit fake gooner depressed incel

>>42557373
same thing honestly.

>>42552182
i have the opposite problem and frequently cannot stop
days like today i just feel vaugely dizzy and nauseous and cry at random intervals for no reason
>>42557373
real

>>42557267
tattoos have nothing to do with being ashamed of yourself. buddy

Who drew dis image

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Like for me, I detrooned because ehen I was trooning it was like I unlocked appreciation and attraction to guys, and saw the good in being a man, and so it made me want to go back and so I did. I'm still like 90% straight but being a little gay made me more appreciative of being born male and I feel confident an happy being cis. So overall trooning for a couple years was a good thing for me

I will never be a woman and I will never ever be loved. Maybe thats okay. Maybe thats just the way its meant to be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjAk_ut6nW0

>>42531119
im not passing without surgeries even though im basically a youngshit, should i detroon and live as a guy?

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>>42557991
Maybe you got the best of both worlds... Any fallout from trooning then detrooning, either socially or physically?
>>42558056
The idea that I got dealt a bad hand has gotten me through some pretty black days.

>>42553573
You're never too late to eat from the trash

>>42558992
it's not fair

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sup sad fucks
>>42531119
yes

sigh... or fuckity fuck... such a sorrow, want to cry... still spark of hope. anyway... last happenings.... so... i ordered 25g of nep, jeeter juice i still have, acid, ket,2cb, 4mmc and some speed n coke, got bit more for giving my plug a new customer... but lets speak about impprtant part. flied bit too high... yep nepped, kettwd and took ket woth acid at night so i looked like o got stroke feo. overheard conversations i think, might havw been stim madness. also other than maybe (if not psycho) fooling police dog inder door with nutmeg. incle i live woth possibly called my dad about me being druuging fugging flyin high all the time...
he said something about lutting me in closed rehab... maybe he went to my job and said it... about me. theyvwere to drug test me (nep doesnt show on stqndard ines due to side chain, tests for this are expensive my workplace woldnt do it)maybe wrongheard. he got called drunk idiot (could be)

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>>42558992
What the fuck?
Why would you show me a picture like that?

and they said duncle is schizophrenic (really is and says wacky shit to people outside). Something about fucks shaving heads of junkies in rehab.. Anyways... like few weeks ago my lilbsis asked me what i would do if i went bald i was grumpy and truthfully told her i would an hero. She got lil bit scared and told mom... Also from heard talks of dad with incle, mom and sis... sis checked my phone and looked up my session name which is same as one i use on two polish druggo sites. suplosedly dad read it but also found mu agp schio rep ones asthey were two same ips as i got two phones as one drowned... sis told mom before and then dad about me playing girls shavong legs and being one fruity fuck...
got ideas because of heard thimgs that i have cameras in whole home, that phones are under surveilance, that my drug vendor is also pedophile hunter known as ghost wjo kills pedophiles and is proffesor of chemistryone of best in the world (name he uses has prof in it) that sells drigs worldwide ajdhas police in pocket,also that my paternalgranddad that was policeman was alsobiggerst heroin (kompot) producer in poland and latwr moved to nerby city i live to join police so he could do bussines uniterrupted with commpie police inter al knowledge... i tlused to 100%belive then i was being seen by dad and incle on camera... something about me being put in that rehab. dad saying i will man uo and wont kill muself

the i was seen byvthem with tense body, madness in eyes like a cornered rat, unbroked, despair, life or death. dad saw on my eyes its for real... he said i will kill myself knowing i will soon lick up quarter of gram of 70%heroin and 10 200mg morphine pillsenough to kill me with currently zero tolerance, knowing i would leave phone fo out maybe buy a bottle, dring swallow chewed up pills and lie down undressed to sail away to freedom... that i would smuggle it to rehab in asshole if i had to... night before heard for real or simpsyxh about dysphoria troonsition him being halfway supportive.. then as he started speaking more favorably about it saw me untensing seeing spaek in euyes, breaking down sobbing shaking. he accepted it and said he will help me with us fleeing together to west coast murica, he cited some agp schizo rep posts, he said he didnt slept two nights and read nearly all posts here and druggie forum ones. he saw me trying to calm down as sis entered room i was taking a nap before heard atuff so put a sleeve on eyes as i always do so she wont see tears... later seen mom withteary eyes she arfued something about me bing posessed by ghost oKazia my greatgreatgrandaunt that was one spooky bitch said to be witch born in 1888 for real lol. mom said that agp schizo rep posts were done by my deug vendor (prof...) as his site says hellishly strong research chemixals and has flames in ots background. she said about that dream (told few times before( when i was little and in place where was my babybed was bed of Kazia tht floated above mom and did some spooky mumbo jumbo shite. then sayinhs aboit how as i kid i was wearing mom clothes and pranced hapilly and how my asshad matwrnal granddad treathened me with eternal helfire burning me for eternity and how i stopped earing at3 and almost died, which then later got blamed on vaccine but was really due to catlick grandshithead and mom said it was ghost of grandaunt,

then some arguing about how slmom is crazy bitch. ahe said that inonly got long hair when i started drugs and how ot was her pushing me to ot (accidentally found buane high from air freshner i tjought it was either air or co2). something something about me pulling out growing beard wearing longpants to not see leg hair read in tttt posts. shit got crazy acary wacky last night when i geard incle und dad arguing on phone ending with uncle (hate that motherfucker with allmight) treathening to give me face scar so iwont troon out in murica, baricaded myself in a bathroom holsing doorknob. for fuckity fuck heard dad iwth cops coming to help and sawing at door. wasnt afraid of police, flushed fucken 18gof nep an punisher pill. wasnt afraid of cops as few nights before i heard a cop arguing with some shithead druggie insisting on arresting me for selling drugs axusainf me of beingbof one of biggest drug dealers i my city. he got his phone broken for recording me snorting and got arm and leg brokem and forced to pay ~1500bucks as cp had to go to guy that cn fix cop camera with ai footage.... heard about other fuck beinh treathened woth my cousin finding jim and mincing him alive (mearworker fr) and him being executioner and corpse disappeare for his maternal granddad who has judges in his pocket (that very likely tru rich bozo he is)... now i am almost certain... dad wont save me... i want to cry. such a sorrow. why. what a ride... maybe i really should 2grams of mighty morphin, quartergrak of heroin fifth of vodka and sail away sail away sail away.eeehh. soke som weed vape will play skyr as girl. tomorrow i will geth. back to good warm safe place where everyone wants to go back... fr prolly not real dad was certain i will quit being drugfo degen if i troon. its likely real tru. hes fine with wwed now.
eeh i miss you neppy my beloved craze. need to keep dosin lowe and be careful to sleep enough..

ty for the update schizo pls remember to drink some water
hope you're able to make it out of poland, sounds like shit's crazy

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>>42558992

>>42558303
The only fallout is gyno. I am seeing how bad it is if I get to low bodyfat % but its not too terrible tbhdesu. I never told anyone irl so there is no social fallout

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If you actually did troon would you go full plastic bimbo or would you try to look normal

>>42560026
idk if i'd have the guts to do it but i think i'd prefer to go full plastic
it's just so not me unfortunately

>>42559634
>never told anyone irl
That seems wise either way.
>>42560026
Definitively try to look normal. I want to be less noticeable. I never want to stand out.

>>42560026
bls stob

>>42558992
Handsome to pretty, it really isn't fair.

>>42560026
I want to look normal but I'm not opposed to looking 'plastic' if it means 'plastic woman'.

>>42560026
normal, I just want to reclaim the life I lost access to when my SRY gene kicked in, y'know

>>42558056
this slaps thanks for sharing nona

>>42560026
chat is this real

>>42558070
of course not you retard
if surgeries are capable of fixing you then you still have hope
get out of my thread

>>42548584
>being trans is a maladaptive coping mechanism for my failure to be a man and an adult in general
proofs??

is sake mixed with lemonade good?
it's cheap sake and tastes kinda nasty on it's own even when chilled

I’m ugly as hell. If I were a twink I wouldn’t even be dysphoric. It sucks because most trannies have exactly the body that I want so fucking bad

I'm conventionally attractive but as a regular man. Makes me wanna kms

>>42559004
Because being male sucks

>>42562833
source my internal monologue

Hey
> John, 23
From a previous thread. Anyway I ordered a vial of estrogen enthanate and some needles. Gonna start transitioning at home and boymoding at work. Idc anymore. Even if it nuclearizes my career (I’m a pipefitter) and fucks yup my home life (our families are republicans (my wife says she doesn’t want to tell her family)) I’m just gonna do it anyway. Cus if she left me (we love eachother) anyway I’d still do it. And I’d it fucks my career up the oh well. (It won’t because I’m a fucking badass and I’m good at what I do + you’d be surprised how far that will get you(+ I’m in a union ? And anyway fuckem(plus my wife says when she finishes school I can do whatever I want)))

My two sons will be fine. And if one of them happens to have the tranny Gene (I will never push it on them, but won’t force boyhood down their throats) then I will be accepting as fuck. And otherwise they can watch their dad become their mom or at least dad loves herself hire a human is supposed to. Cus fuck this shit . Let us be ourselves. Thanks to all of you for encouraging me.

I wish I had transitioned at 18 like I wanted to. I wanted to for years even before then. I wish I knew how easy it was to stick myself with the right hormones. Fuck. Oh well. I wish I had stuck with it when I tried to transition at 21. Oh well. I refuse to let it go on unti in regretting this 27 years from now. If it doesn’t work out I’ll just boymode forever >u< thanks girls . See you on the other side? lol!

>>42562198
no

>>42560026
YEAH

>>42554721
this anon gets it

>>42559048
ride on soldier

i like to journal in the form of suicide notes

>>42563235
good luck, I hope it works out for you

>>42563235
Extremely based and me as fuck. Sorry you have kids though, id say just be their father anyway, you have planty of manly experience to guide them. Im 24 and have a gameplan now too
>if she left me anyway id still do it
Tired of thinking about situations where "if this happens ill troon out immediatly" I should stop putting it off if that's all it takes. That John 50 story i mentioned earlier has scared me not straight

>>42563235
>23
>has a wife
>has a job

you people make me feel like shit, WHY AM I NOT AN ADULT

>>42563235
i 'member gl nona i hope you make it

>>42557258
look at the channel linked in the post I replied to
evil shit

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holly dolly fucken shitte. it looks like they really think i am being posessed by ghost of aunt... neplessly after a solod nap heard something about me moving body l, HAND GESTURES, and having facial expression like dead aunty, saying my face starts to look like hers, she had green eyes too... they think i get more possessed when high. mom saying somethink about her trying even before i was born as i was nearly miscarried but wasnt as mom was given medicine by gyno prolly estrogens... oh and wackier part then when i saw mom with red eyes i overeard her talkong to grandma she had i dream i was a woman sitting on throne, and people bowing down to me, only women there all were women. she thinks my vendor is satanist and aunty was antichrist and its satanist plot to brin antichrist, somwthing somethi g le Baphomet being herm and antichrist being troon how with getting femmier aunty gaining powers so she (in my body) will be able to transform into cis woman... really what a wackiness. me being possessed and becoming antichrist satanist plot. oh my... wackier than Emilias (the italian) my mom is

Ooh and to add i forgot... aunty was born in 1888 and lived even 100years, died like 2years vefore i was born...bizzarre and gothic lives of wackos from my home... fucks are more high sober than i ever was.wowzers

ooh. and i will test it out... if it was realand they read agp schizo rep posts... tomorrow i will pick up heroin and moghty morphin monday perhaps... will get doped and play sail away by Enya when mom will be with me in a room. as a kid i loved listening to it as little babykid, made me sleep well. ooooh. and these tumors about Enya being pagan priestess... ooo... and important part is i have extremely sharphearing sense from kid. few days ago duncle and mom were plotting to go to myroom and flashlight my eyes to see pupils and start shit. duncle blasted music to prevent me from hearing. but i heardmom and sister whispering through wall despite music. it was nighttime. rolled to wall and put sleeveover eyes.i do at times as door have glass so partly transparent. few times i did that and saw reflection. they were speechless.yesterday sis saw i was upset (from being interrupted copypasting&captchyin due to 2000 word shit) asked me why and got told sheknows why (i knew she did, shes supportie quietly). i told her i know she knows as i hear everything, whispered i even hear your thoughts.she told that mom as i exactly planned hihihi. if there is even shadow of chance dad saves me from this shit i wont hestiate to make insane supersitious fools out of them. today morning i had toleave earlier to not be late to work mom asked why i go so early and told her i need to take a cab wit a friend cause buses might not ride. she said she didnt say anything. she fucks with me to? they might call exorcist .fr. lololz. circus

I feel so gross all the time

looking at Keojampas work and crying

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I spent the best years of my life wasting away as a hikki neet because of dysphoria and now in the worst years I have begun to rot

If gender dysphoria don't exist as they
say
why I post here like for 10+ years?

If I wasn't broke looser I probably didn't post here so much

the government owes me a couple thousand dollars and a plot of wilderness where i can build a house and be happy

>>42567254
Dumb and cute

>>42565990
That all sounds way too intense. Take care of yourself. Exorcisms are no joke.
>>42567172
Gender dysphoria not being real is a strange place where both chuds and gender ideologues kind of agree. Naturally, reppers in the middle suffer for it.

>>42568315
>Naturally, reppers in the middle suffer for it.
Yes im suffering. You happy about it?

>>42568246
wise and masculine...

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>>42568435
No. I'm probably just as miserable as you are.

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you know what? nap has been taken, nep has been out for a short time, day if you dont count schratchings of 50mgs together total used in 5ish doses yesterday evening and before noon today. And what? before asleep? palpitations, eased by blanket between legs to not feel dock'n'nut and rolled bedshed squeezed shapelly correctly at chest. falling asleep, having to keep image of me woman body in mind. Not even a day and shits back. never been so fast. Even sucked on jeeter at job once. oh dear oh dear... still heard stuff at work. stillheard oitside agp schizo rep... gossips. perhaps dad did got tipsy and talked to boss. cant you bleme him? for such a revelation having to endure? if tru? perhaps salvation will come. overheard, he is gonna be a woman? so dad was few times at job? tqlked to boss? boss might be ledantic need but would listen of it was indeed true... i want to belive... i need to. its been years before i felt hope, before i felt alive. anyway.. 1/4 of 70% brownstone (with 0.4of ket from plug) and 10x200mg MST mighty morphin are on way to me. Tomorrow. If you trurly read it do not dare to thread on me. Dont fuckbwith me. You know i will leave phone and swallow h with citric acid, chew down mst and down it with booze, undress and sail away to freedom. i WILL be free dead or alive. do not dare to hurt me. freedom or death, beauty or grave. you know i dont joke. you know. freedom awaits. it does. sail away sail away sail away. i will of i need to.
of ots psychosis then its best one. i am alive at last. insure if i will get some nep and replay more carefully or an hero if ot turns out to be a lie of scrambled braon of mine. sail away sail away sail away...

oo i hear now. empress sitting on ivory throne, they read it talk on phone with dad, he smoked jeeter juice at job, he wiil commit suicide for real, tomorrow he will have morphine heroine and ketamine (palil jeeter juica w pracy, mama on sie naprawde zabije, jutro bedzie miec h,m i k). oh my. ja pierdole i hear.. ots not mu son its Kazia possesed (myname), hes not there is dead. dunno. mom had so shakyvhands todayvit was hard for ger to open doors with key sayng buulshit xbout being upset from stuff at work (nothingvto be uoset much from what she said) i know ahe knows. theysee everything, i hear everything. hopefully craze ends soon. freedom... at last. above or below there will be fredom i hear you. i hear yo hear me type. we both know right. ahahaha. oh dear. oh fuck. whyboretend anymore? spill the beans first, lets ve clear you know i wont as i am still not 100% certain its not stim psychosis. best one ever if it is

yes sis i do hear you

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for real. thread carefully. its not a joke.

jak on może??? jak ty kurwa możesz, jak ty mogłaś KURWA MAĆ!

stop sobbing, i WILL NOT YIELD. it wont work on me

>>42568474
>I'm probably just as miserable as you are.
Not sure about that. People hate me (my body especially) just the way it's created. And now I'm stuck and don't allowed to change. And nothing actually helping.

enjoy.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qq4j1LtCdww

>>42569307
That's better than reading all that shit ton of text from you

Reminder to detransitioners
you are fucking stupid fuck
stupid and giga privileged
you have what I never have and managed to fuck it all up
maybe it's a right wing or just regular normies maybe your not expecting family or friends cuck you whatever
they fucking played you like a puppet
And live no chance to folx like me (non westerners)
No chances but total repression to the rest of life
And you suppose me to respect you?
So
You are not quite welcome here
Drop

>not expecting
I mean not accepting friends

>>42568868
>of ots psychosis then its best one.
nona this does seem like psychosis, would prob be good to drink some water and try to get some sleep?

>>42570169
sadly seems like that... will vape some weed,200codeine and chill playing skyrim...
such a sorrow... still have a hope. weird how mom changed yoir a woman bu Bad Boys Blue when i gave her a look downing glass a coke zero like a drunkard... hmm. now plays it as i am outside the room. chilling to the bone. gosebumps.divine harmonica. divine light... a got a feeling she knows... stopped heh.

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>take a shower
>look in the mirror
>forced to reckon with the fact that I am a big hairy man
its so fucking grim

>>42563235
Good luck. I'm John39... well now Nona39 ig since today is exactly one month since I started.
Let's hope we make it.

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>>42570223
Keep us posted if you can.
>>42570636
How has it been? I hope to be you later this year. I might not have been a John 20 or 30, but I can avoid being a John 40 or 50.
Assuming I get my shit together first. Obviously I have a great track record on that...

>>42569291
>>42570034
you lot are too concerned about being the person who suffers the most in the room, its like being the most miserable person is a competition to some of you

>>42570732
>Keep us posted if you can.
sure, i will

>>42570732
>How has it been?
Better than I expected.
Pro:
- I sleep better than ever and wake up genuinely happy
- my wife has been far more accepting than I had imagined
- disruption in the sex department was/is far milder than advertised (and I'm on 6mg per 5 days, considered high by official guidelines and I also take bica)
- I love how my skin is changing

Con:
- the moodswings are a bitch

Neutral:
- no boob growth (idc either way at this point)

Ofc, too early to tell but so far so good.

>>42570844
Nice to hear about the skin. And very nice about your wife. I'm single, but my family accepting is a concern with me, so I can appreciate that as a victory.
Tell me a bit more about the mood swings.
Also, are you out in any way at work, or are you just gonna manmode it for as long as you can?

>>42570892
>Tell me a bit more about the mood swings
It's unironically PMS moodswings.
I'm happy now and 30-40 minutes later i'm depressed af. Then 2hrs later I'm happy again. Then 4hrs later I'm angry. And it's inconsistent. Today for instance I was jolly the whole day. Who knows how it'll be tomorrow.
It's getting better as time goes on.
The guidance says this lasts for up to 4 months. But I'm already getting a handle on it. HRT is ultimately a nuke into the endocrine system so I'm not terribly surprised the body is like "wtf?!?!" until it figures out that it'll run on estrogen for many years to come.
>are you out in any way at work
No. And I don't intend to unless reality forces me to.
If by some miracle I'm some luckshit like that nona a few weeks ago who was outed by reality, then yeah, I'll be out. But if not, I'm fine with "manmoding" at work.
I fully do expect to girlmode at least a little bit this summer though.

bipolar senses tingling

>>42570766
what's your point?

>>42570947
That just sounds like regular life to me

>I fully do expect to girlmode at least a little bit this summer though.
giwtwm

>>42570947
Thanks for sharing. I hope you get to girlmode this summer.

>>42571102
>That just sounds like regular life to me
Fair enough, though that wasn't me.
I was always depressed and every day getting worse for the last 9 years. It's probably why I tolerate these PMS-style moodswings so joyfully. They're still an improvement lol.
>>42571103
>giwtwm
I said I expect. I still don't know if I can pull it off.
But it would be a gigantic win if I can. I'm turning 40 in November. Girlmoding even once before then would do a lot of good for my otherwise fucked up psyche.

accepting you have nothign in common with cis women and even less in common with trans women and even even less in common with nb people really is a rude awakening
i wasted my life in all directions
iwnbaw
iwnba
im just some gooner mef loser chud incel faggot who sucks his best friends cock for a sniff of love and care

>>42571158
eh
describe how're you so fucking unique
lol

>>42571056
be nicer to each other

>>42571190
wdym
im not
im just a mef dude :)
I kinda just injected some hrt but im not trully trans or a woman
i keep doing this. There is no point to it though
i will die unhappy

>>42571285
why are you unhappy. sucking your best friends cock sounds awesome

>>42571285
do you pass

>>42571158
Women are nowhere near as different from men as men seem to think they are.

>>42571158
>>42572004
Me and a buddy were talking about this where I was saying that I basically never talk to women and dont understand them at all. Then he listed off a bunch of female friends and people that I do talk to and I said "but theyre not normal women". Then we had a fun time trying to define what a normal women is, and it came down to straight with mostly female friends, but that's probably a minority within women in reality.

>>42572004
what? have you never talked to a woman? men and women are completely different social creatures. i don't mean that in a negative way, it's just true.

>>42572230
About half of my social circle has been female for my entire life and I usually get along with them way better than men.

>>42571442
Lolololol no
>>42571441
I hate my life. Sex is meaningless
>>42572004
More proof Im male
>>42572270
More proof repper a are foids

>>42572437
>More proof repper a are foids
Well duh, repper means repressed transsexual. Everyone here is a transwoman, medically speaking.

>>42572484
some are just confused men with escapist tendencies, arrested development, and a healthy dose of agamp

>>42572555
That’s me
I’m not a trans woman
I should have known long before I tried trooning out
I killed myself

>>42572555
That's a cope.

>>42572631
well i was just describing myself and the other anon i talked to yday so it’s atleast partially true

>>42572555
I dont beleive there is such a thing as trutrans. I think theyre all lying

>>42572663
It’s subtle but once you realize it it’s true
It opened my eyes

imo everyone else here is probably trutrans because why else would you be in this thread. i on the other hand am just extremely mentally ill, got here because i want to pretend like i have real problems, and deserve nothing
if you attempt to apply logic to this viewpoint please remember i am extremely mentally ill