Thread #43155379
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love edition
>q1 have you ever been in love with anyone? are you in love now? have a crush on someone?
>q2 are you single?
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>>43155379
>q1
i am a lover. i was put on this earth to love. i have loved so many and i have been loved by so many, even if none have quite hit the spot yet. i will continue to love and risk heartbreak because the alternative is to lose my purpose. i will always love everyone.
> q2
I WANT A BOYFRIEND AKJDGFJKSDGMVKOLDSFOPDVFPSADL:F
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I take fin and tried to take minox but the topical stuff just sucks to use. But recently found out the ingredients in the topical stuff is just minoxidil, propylene glycol, ethanol, and water. So I can just drink it and it'll work the same as oral. Cool
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>>43155684
Dut + min he meant.
Also they make oral minox pills. You're not really supposed to ingest because it raises the risk of side effects which can get pretty bad.
You won't keel over and die but if you drink it for years on end it'll be bad for your heart and liver.
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>>43155810
The point of ingesting it is that a lot of people don't have the right enzyme to metabolize it when it's absorbed through the skin. They make pills but using pills for hair is technically off-label so good luck getting that prescribed or covered by insurance.
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>>43155379
>q1
I used to get crushes, but the feeling that they would never like me back got so painful that eventually I started shutting down any thoughts about love or crushes. Anytime I was around a crush I'd completely put that thought out of my mind to cope. Now I'm some weird fag with mysterious sexual hangups and a life that I keep secret from 99.999999999% of people. Would not recommend.
>q2
no doy
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>>43155379
no x3, i've always felt weird dating and uncomfortable with sex even before I had a more specific idea as to why
been single for so long i don't care all that much but recently feeling more strongly a bf would be nice
>>43156616
is it really that bad? i'm taking oral min+fin, most of the ppl online don't make it seem like it's bad in the ranges prescribed for hair loss
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>>43155379
>Q1:
Nope. I never had crushes growing up, even before my dysphoria started getting really bad. Unironically I feel like my AGP is the closest thing I've ever felt to being in love, though unfortunately it's doomed to be forever unrequited seeing as I'm posting in this thread.
It's pretty rare for me to experience outward sexual attraction at all desu. Occasionally I'll find a man or woman attractive to look at, but it's like the anti meta-attraction (meta-repulsion?) I get from hulking over them overrides it before any feelings can really develop.
>Q2:
Obviously, I'm an ethical repper. The extent of my romantic experience is taking a lonely autistic fat girl out to dinner on valentines day because I felt bad for her.
I like to fantasize about dating and all that if I was a woman, but imagining doing those things as a man just grosses me out. I know that I will almost certainly die a volcel and that doesn't really bother me, it's the least of my problems.
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How many reps can you do?
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Whatever these urges are, calling them "porn addiction" helps me to stop wanting indulge in them.
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>>43161828
And who says I’m attractive? Lmao there’s tons of other things that can make me wanna cuddle with someone besides how much hair they have. You being gentle and calling me a good girl would already be enough
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>>43155379
Q1: yea, had a few crushes but never did anything more than talk to them. stopped developing them once i started repping though
Q2: yes, wouldn't date anyone because it would be weird unless they knew i was a repper
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If I had a loving wife I probably wouldn't think of this gender stuff at all
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>>43155596
just don't overdose
>>43156616
most things are poison it's just a matter of dose
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>>43161858
How do you deal with ending up like this?
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I'll be John30 in two weeks
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I believe in the hope I can be happy repping
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i wish i could be left alone with my homosexual thoughts
i dont like interacting with people
i want to be alone so i can
be ir simething just le t me be gayt
u¡oleas e fuckkk jsut no i dont want to have to face other people with their own ideas and beliefs and idiosyncratic thought systems annd i just i know not a single person where i live is gay and all men are homophobic because i liev i n a fucking retarded chuddy town with chuddy christcucks and im so fucking lonely if just one person found out i would be lynched on the spot I WANT TO LEAVE I WANT TO LIVE IN A MOUNTAIN LET ME LEAVE LET ME ESCAPE FLEE BE FREED OUK EIMI ZOIÔN POLITIKON god i hate thinking SO Ffukcing MUCH NO NO N ONO O ON OON holy shit im so fucking tired
thanks 4 reading me blogpost :3c
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Just watched Kimi no Na wa.
Bawled my eyes out at several parts of the movie ngl.
Any anime recommendations that made you cry?
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>can't get thoughts of transitioning out of my head
>start to give in
>almost buy hrt
>remember i'm 6'1 and i have massive shoulders
>give up
>repeat once i forget how over it is
are all reppers like this? how do i stop this cycle?
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>get drunk on easter with family
>seeing double for hours
I'm a weak cripple who can't take care of themselves
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>>43168098
>are all reppers like this? how do i stop this cycle?
I was standing by my window
On a cold and cloudy day
When I saw the hearse come rolling
For to carry my mother away.
Will the circle be unbroken
By and by Lord, by and by
There's a better home awaiting
In the sky Lord, in the sky.
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Really need to gaslight myself into suicide harder. I'm so, so bored and tired of everything and how everyone is transitory. I'm not really a "no change" autist, but I guess I am when it comes to people. I should just stop making friends and hermit mode.
>>43155379
q1: No, never. There has been 1 guy who I thought would be perfect for me (I don't even like men sexually... but he's just perfect personality wise) but alas, it's not to be
q2: been single my entire life. Men disgust me, and women are disgusted by me (not to mention, I think I'd be constantly envious of her)
>>43162853
So fucking true
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>>43169877
>HRT won't unrape me or turn everyone into an anthro woman.
I don't actually have an image to link because I already used the singing frog. I want peace for all souls regardless of the harm they caused. I want this to end.
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>>43155379
I never had real crushes, maybe a fleeting thought of "she's cute" in the hallway at best. I've never been flirted with. I've never been in love. I've never had a conversation with a woman despite grappling with cross gender envy. I spent all of highschool and beyond on the computer by myself. I'm a kissless virgin over 30 years old. No, I'm not asexual, I had and still somewhat have an utterly ridiculous libido and hentai addiction.
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this is going to sound extremely bizarre, but i've noticed my energy levels directly affect the thoughts of transitioning.
i've been sleeping rather poorly these past few weeks, and about an hour before i go to bed, i realize i'm genuinely almost cured of this affliction. i stop caring altogether, and i just want to make the best with what nature gave me. this isn't just a "oh whatever man i just want to go to bed", it's a complete and utter shift in thinking, it's amazing and such a relief. but then i wake up and everything is back to the shit it usually is
this feels really specific, so please let me know if this is a legit strat others can use to get a break, or if this is just my brain being weird (or if it's the feds temporarily turning off the trannyficator beam)
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https://youtu.be/oNIKLTcqOAg?si=CyPYDkUlCl9sVcvl
Is this woman Israeli? She sounds kinda like it and everything she's saying sounds like Jewish propaganda to trick goyim into castrating themselves. Sick shit.
t. have all five signs
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>>43169611
Can't recommend any reppers movies, but if you are not against watching tranime, A silent voice and I want to eat your pancreas will make you cry.
>>43169759
Thanks. I'll definitely watch it later this week.
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My tranny thoughts are much less frequent lately than some years ago. I am also kinda fine with being a man since I psyoped myself into the "I am my soul not my body" mindset.
Still, even when I rarely jerk off to a blender female taker pov (sadly material is rare), I can't go fully erect. Like my largest erect size I ever measured when I was really attracted to a girl when we were 17 was 18,5 centimetres, but last time I measured it it was just below 14 centimetres.
Does this happen to anyone else? Not having a full erection that is.
Before you tell me that's because I'm fat and do no exercise, I do a lot of cardio and weightlifting and my while I could lose maybe two or three kilos, I'm definitely at a healthy bodyfat%.
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>>43169975
Born to be a 5'9 lanklet woman with a mediumlargish-dicked (not disgusting hyper-tier) futa wife of around the same height
Forced to be a broad-shouldered 6'2 ogre man with a 7inch penis that I try to avoid even directly touching because it feels extremely gross
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>>43167749
kimi no na wa is great, and i think the other shinkai movies are pretty good too. tenki no ko is also pretty good because of its message but is also executed worse. otoh, suzune is executed well but has a weaker message. id recommend all three but kimi no na wa is probably the best
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I've been agorophobic for months.
My friends have tried to pure me out tonight by planning a group outing involving my special interests.
I love my friends and I don't want to spit in their faces, so I'm going to be brave.
The thing is, my hair is really matted and gross.
Do I give myself the murder 1 buzzcut and go out like brittany or do I just KMS so I have an excuse to flake?
Open to alternatives
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every tranny who told me to start hrt lied i knew my shoulders were to big and my body way to masculine, i knew i probably cant pass but now im taking hrt anyways and im exactly the same as before with 0 changes
i need to kill myself i cant escape this man life i dont know how others can
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>>43155379
>q1
Nearly 30 years old in this earth, and I can't rember ever falling in love, not even a crush. I wish I can tho, but the prospect of dating as a repping agp cryptotroon fills me woth dread, like stepping in an airplane that's guaranteed to crash kind of dread.
>q2
Duh
>>43167749
>Your Name
>Released in 2016
Man... Time flies, I rember watching it in the cinema. Regarding anime recc, some personal favourite of mine, which can be a tearjerker, are Summer Wars, The girl who leapt through time, Tokyo Godfathers, and one I've recently watched Cosmic Princess Kaguya
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>>43172497
I'm sorry anon, I know this reply doesn't mean much but I'm sorry the world has given us the lot it's given us.
>>43172662
The height will help a lot, but I understand the pain that comes with physical appearance, you likely have it worse than me. I hope passing is possible for you
>>43174400
I'm glad for you anon, I hope you can be happy one way or another
>>43174998
I'm sorry anon, I got on HRT as well and had a similar issue of realizing that certain features meant I could never pass. I stopped taking it sometime in 2024 after being on it for a year, it left me with gyno but doesn't seem any other permanent changes. If you do go off of it I guess to let you know I've been trying to work out at the gym, I suspect building pecs can help hide gyno a little, but i'm not sure. I won't reccomend you rep or keep on it, I hope you can figure out what's best for you yourself.
>>43180515
Nearly 30 myself. I feel the same issue you do on dating, it's embarrassing to be single and having peers/relatives judge, but I don't think I could comfortably date someone as a man. Your name was a tear-jerker movie. I wonder if I'm still able to cry from it now that i'm on welbutrin, I feel I don't cry when I feel sad anymore how I used to.
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>>43155379
1. Yes. No. No, I'm not close enough to anyone. Plenty of people I find attractive though.
2. No and not interested in dating until I move to Ontario.
I'm pretty close to ordering some DIY spiro and maybe estrogen. I just shaved and realized my face is uglier than I remembered. I hate that I am ugly and worried I'll either trans later and be clockier or I'll never like my body.
I figure easiest way would be to do spiro + laser + give up drinking and diet more. Not sure if I'll actually do the last bit but I'm severely depressed and getting passive suicidal thoughts. I could just go to therapy but that's a waste of time. Not sure if my mental illness is all gender but maybe worth a shot?
On the other hand, transitioning is the "ruin my life" button.
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>1a
yeah, but we broke it off pretty quick cuz she was 19 and i was 13.
>1b/c
unsure, i guess ill just say it as a crush. i have crushes on a lot of my friends, some more deserved than others but none of them really give me the light of day. the guy i most wanted to date in life has been taken since i knew him, and its been like 6 years now and he doesnt even reply to my messages nowadays. i wish i could move on from that. theres people interested in me that im not interested in, so i guess its all balanced out or an ouroboros or whatever stupid bullshit
>2
yeah, mostly by choice. i say im aromantic to some people but idk anymore lol. maybe i just havent seen the type of love i want in life or the right people at least. would be willing to entertain a lot of flings with the people i had crushes on but they hardly even want that. kinda mean
also im not a repper i didnt read the thread name until i was doing the captcha srry, come out n be proud bitches
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god i want a bf so bad i wish i wasn't a weird shut in uggo
>>43181346
>come out n be proud bitches
it's really funny how this is the only thread on the board where ppl say that and genuinely every other thread is like "this person is non-passing because they repped how should they blow their head off be specific?"
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>leave train station
>see a woman that looks like an idealized version of me
>she's really pretty
>feel absolutely annihilated
>11/10 psychic pain
>debated jumping the railing right then and there
>genuinely the most excruciating pain i've ever felt in my life
If I knew I was going to run into her I would've stayed inside that day. That actually hurt a lot, oh my God. It's been a fucking year and I still think about her. It's like she left a permanent wound on my soul, and she didn't even so much as glance at me.
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>>43155379
>q1
I had a girlfriend for almost 4 years and I feel that I was in love with her and maybe still am.
idk things ended badly and i blocked her on everything.
Sometimes i feel like blaming her for me not transitioning at 16/17.
I had long hair and I wasn't so masculinized, and she said she liked how pretty I was until she looked through my phone and found my trans meme account (pinealglandhon on ig if anyone followed back then)
She said she couldn't be with me if I was trans and I told her that I wasn't and that it was just something I had tried and got over.
The relationship felt different afterwards and she would make comments on how i need to be manlier or that i wasn't like her exes.
I stayed because I thought if i put up with it I could live a happy life as a man, then she dumped me for the ex she was trying to turn me into.
I'm not in love now. I have fleeting crushes on people but I always feel like such a creep that I try to distance myself until it goes away.
>q2
yes
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let's say a spirit comes up to you, and tells you she can fix your body issues, for good.
she can help you become any woman currently alive, literally ANY woman. you can pick someone famous, someone you know, or "filter" your search by picking specific traits like height, hair color, nationality, etc until you find the perfect person for you.
the problem is that if you go along with it, your current body will die and your soul will be transferred to the new vessel, expelling the previous owner's soul and basically killing her while her body is still alive. you will hear her agonizing screams and pleas for mercy as she is painfully and slowly torn out of her own body, confused and terrified. the process could last anywhere from 6 hours to 6 days, and it cannot be stopped. after this is done, you will have absorbed her most important memories and gained full control of your new body.
would you take up the spirit on her offer, knowing you are essentially murdering and torturing someone for their life? if so, who would you become?
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>>43182750
I'm not sociopathic enough nor jaded yet to do that to an innocent person. I do see a potential out, though, that's much more morally gray: what if it's someone with severe brain damage to the point of barely being a functional human, maybe even a locked-in Terri Schiavo vegetable? Someone who can't even process the idea of pain, confusion, or terror?
In that scenario, would it be more of a 'brain swap', where I'd get their body but not the downfalls of their brain? Or would it be a 'consciousness / soul swap', where I'm now a drooling paperweight stuck in their broken brain? The former seems like a potentially good deal, but the latter obviously not.
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Month 4 since starting hrt:
>sex drive at ~75% of what it used to be (yay)
>no hrtits (yay)
>finally found the courage to ask him out, I now have a bf (yay)
>only marginal improvement on my skin (hopefuel tho)
>only marginal improvement on my emotional state
Iwnbaw, but if I can finally lean into being a flamer, then I'll at least have made a bit of progress.
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>>43155379
>q1
I have never experienced love in my entire life, neither towards others or from others. I believe I may genuinely be incapable of feeling love
>q2
I have never actually felt the need for a relationship and I'm not hot, charming, or funny enough for a one night stand
actually I barely feel the need to have sex with others and I think it's been like 3 years since I last saw someone irl that made me even slightly want to have sex. it's just so much easier to masturbate when I do get horny
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>>43183854
10 years on hrt
Manmoder
Never speak to anyone let alone have a partner
Uncomfortable in myself
Skin is horrible since discontinuing blockers due to a brain tumour, might be stress though. Monotherapy half-life must be too much, I'll need to swap to Undecylate I guess
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anyone else a complete kissless virgin who has never been in a relationship but has depraved sexual fantasies? i haven't even explored anal stuff by myself i just masturbate.
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