>>42958955
I wouldn't

>>42958955
I would

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>>42958955
>>42959010
>no hooves

>>42958955
>AY YO BB U WANT SUM FUG?

>>42958955
>apples suck dick
there

>>42959212
Calm down, Strawberry.

>>42958955
>Want to go to the county fair with me?
easy

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>>42958955

>>42959440
Damn

>>42958955
>Eyup.

>>42958955
Haha! So uh.. What's it like being a lesbian?

>>42959440
Bigger

>Applejack I was wondering if some day I could help you get some apples down from the trees, I can'r buck them off like you, but I can use my hands
:)

>>42958955
>going on dates before marriage
Is she some kind of whore? I think she would be insulted.

>>42959440
Is Pinkie running over to kick her in the ass?

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>>42958955
My partner is basically black AJ, farmer's daughter. We studied the same course, so I became her friend to study and soon caught feelings. I made a card with my sincere feelings and handed it to her on Valentine's alongside some chocolates I knew she liked. It was a slow start, but now we are two peas in a pod.

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>>42962455

>>42962455
Although I should lambast you for being a filthy normie that sounds genuinely kind of sweet. Hope you'll have a nice future together, one with kids and a normal monogamous lifestyle which doesn't end in divorce, just like AJ would want.

Unless you're using the term "partner" so you don't have to say she's really a tranny. In that case I take back everything that I said.

>>42961397
>he wouldn't take his tradwife home for a one on one Bible study session
Are you literally retarded???

I would make eye contact for but a fleeting moment and imagine a life together. We would have fun and enjoy ourselves for the first couple of years but eventually we would settle down in an apartment I. The city because I have a better paying job there than her being at the farm. We would make it and she would end up pregnant shortly after but would still be horribly home sick and never quite settle in the city. On our second child she would try to convince me to go back to the country and that she didn’t want to raise our kids in the urban environment but I would be stuck in my ways and accuse her of sabotaging our future for the sake of a country aesthetic. This would send her over the edge and she would leave for a while to stay at the farm with the kids. In her absence I would grow bitter at my job as I realize that without her and the kids as a support structure it would never be worth it, no matter how much money I get paid. I would bend the knee and agree to permanently move our family to the farm. Things would be nice for a while as Big Mac tries to make me useful but it wouldn’t stick. After a few years of rearing the kids into young teenagers I would hit a breaking point. I would leave them and return to the city. I would start over again as a desk jockey and hate myself for it, but my ego would prevent me from going back. I would blame everything on her and come up with elaborate misreadings of the events that led me here. I would delude my self into believing that I hated her and she was the worse thing to happen to me. At the height of my impotent rage I would blink and realize that I am angry at a stranger. The life I lived was all in my head and then I would do it again next time I see a cute mare

>>42958955
>Hey AJ, I'm going on a little hike this weekend, wanna join me?

>>42962550
>wife
The OP is implying casual dating.

>>42958955
>Hey sis, wanna fuck?

>>42958955
I've never asked anyone, especially a female, out on a date ever. So idk how you would expect this would go. So yeah I hate myself but what do you expect?

>>42962980
>anon says he didn't ask out anyone and certainly not a female
>"How was it asking out all those guys?"
Based retard

>>42962995
t. one of the fags who got asked out

>>42963004
By a guy who said he never asked anyone out...

You're a special kind of retarded, aren't you?

>>42963057
So how'd the date go?

>>42962995
He just wanted to be smug

>>42963403
So who pitched and who caught?

>>42962995
he's still trying to be smug

>I don't ask out anyone, LEAST of all women..but...
gay ass thread lmao

>>42958955
y'all are under the wrong assumption that it wouldn’t be her who asks you out on a date

>>42964820
Nah, she won't. She may be a tomboy but she's too traditional for that. Besides the fact she's way too busy to even make time for romance.

>>42962455
Good for you anon. Have you told her she is only a proxy for the pony ass you truly wish you were smashing?

>>42965341
she'd be like "you're a good man and i'm a good woman" and then nod
or just smack you in the head with a club and drag your unconscious body to her rape barn

>>42965982
Well the rape barn has been a bit of a mess lately. Apple Bloom's been skipping out on her chores.
Normally I'd punish her, but the barn's too messy for that right now.

>>42965982
But I'm not a good man. In fact, I'm a horrible choice for a partner for her, there's no reason she would choose me when there are much better options out there.

>>42966261
I feel like this is a recurring thing with pony romancing. They're extremely complex characters with lives and personal interests and you have to ask if you'd even have a place in their personal life as a partner, or hell, how interested they even are in romance, if they are at all, and if you'd be the kind of person they'd be interested in pursuing in that way.

Applejack is tough because it's hard to imagine her getting with someone who isn't a really dependable man with a very strong work ethic and big heart for his loved ones. She'd absolutely want a partner at some point, being pretty deeply into tradition, and would likely love the extra help at the farm, but that's kind of the thing. She'd want someone who could help handle the farm with her and fill the void her parents left and like, man, a lot of anons uhhh aren't exactly hard working and are deeply cynical with not much heart to give.

It's like angry depressive antisocial guys wanting Ponk or men with no interest in chivalry or class being interested in Rarity. Just kinda makes you think wtf would your dynamic even be and how would it even work out.

>>42967359
The kinda ironic part is that her two most popular ships in the show (Rarity and Rainbow Dash) who the writers liked to constantly tease her with, are both characters who should be pretty incompatible with her personality. They're both either not really that hard working, or not interested in farm life or tradition. So apparently according to the writers, none of these things are issues, because she would apparently be perfectly fine with someone who's lazy, not into farming, and hardly actually helps with the work... for some reason.
Ir's weird how Applejack ended up in this situation where all her popular ships are ones that realistically should be pretty incompatible with her. Logically speaking I feel like Anons who are into her would by default at least be willing to try to work hard and learn how to keep a farm, which is already more than the characters she's usually shipped with do.
Really I think the biggest hurdle would be the time investment. I imagine the main reason we don't see AJ going out of her way to pursue a relationship in the show is because she thinks the time of finding someone, courting them/being courted, going on dates, etc, would just take her away from the farm too much. So having someone who can help, but being low maintenance in the relationship would be a big thing too. She'd probably want someone who's happy with just spending time together and being around each other without going to fancy dinners or elaborate dates.

>>42967435
>I imagine the main reason we don't see AJ going out of her way to pursue a relationship in the show is because she thinks the time of finding someone, courting them/being courted, going on dates, etc, would just take her away from the farm too much. So having someone who can help, but being low maintenance in the relationship would be a big thing too. She'd probably want someone who's happy with just spending time together and being around each other without going to fancy dinners or elaborate dates.

This actually makes a ton of sense, yeah. Thing about Rarity and Rainbow Dash is interesting, too; the RD pairing in the finale never made sense to me either because I never really saw Applejack giving up being able to have kids. If anything my go-to for a post-timeskip AJ in my head would be her marrying and us seeing her children; seeing the next generation of the apple family just kind of feels like where we'd see her in the future.

All being said though yeah. I'm a Ponkfag myself so I could go on about what kinds of dynamics Anon could have with Pinkie, but while Anon and Pinkie usually end up forming some sugary sweet optimistic power couple where they're out seeing the wonders of the world together, AJfags always have these really cool stories about Anon joining the apple family once he gets with Applejack. I feel like there are certain greentexts that only the big fans of a character could have the passion to put out, and the dynamic the more hardworking Anon has with Appul is really cool. Totally agree most AJbros would wanna at least give working hard a try, and AJ's not the kind of girl to judge someone for starting out lazy; if anything seeing you give it an honest effort would gain you a huge amount of favor with her. She's generally very kind and nurturing and patient.

>>42967435
Dash works hard but its always for her own personal benefit and its usually momentary. AJ is the opposite she selflessly needs to support her family and wants Ponyville to have crops. She also helps the townsfolk in other ways, even if sleep deprived. So yeah logically AJ should not want someone whos lazy and selfish and probably hasn't done any real hard work or struggle in their life. But the writers didn't care they just wanted momentary fandom points.

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>>42967452
>the RD pairing in the finale never made sense to me either because I never really saw Applejack giving up being able to have kids.
Also the dialogue directly states that RD doesn't even help with the chores either because she sucks at them, and lots of other moments in the comics and show have her not even being into farm life, and one of her defining traits is being lazy and a slacker. It's a relationship that really doesn't make sense no matter how you slice it. It's basically AJ putting in tons of work with no real benefit to her. She doesn't even benefit emotionally that much either, because RD still would have to leave regularly for her Wonderbolt job that she definitely wouldn't give up.
>Totally agree most AJbros would wanna at least give working hard a try, and AJ's not the kind of girl to judge someone for starting out lazy;
To be fair, it's also not really laziness if they're willing to work hard, just inexperience. And AJ does make for a pretty good teacher. For as much flak as NCC gets, the boat scene does show pretty well that she's fairly patient and easy going as a teacher, especially compared to drill sergeant RD.

Another thing with an AJ x Anon though is that she benefits pretty uniquely from human physiology. Plenty of her farm chores involve pretty dexterous tasks and tool use. Chopping wood, putting up fences, construction, etc. Humans by default have far more dexterity in our hands than any non unicorn pony would. So out of all the mane 6, AJ is one of the ones who gains the most from having a human around the farm since their hands would actually be hugely beneficial to completing a lot of tasks faster and easier than she could. The only other pony would would derive similar benefit is Pinkie, since she also obviously doesn't have hands, and Flutters and RD don't work jobs that benefit from human dexterity.
Having a human around would make her work easier in a way that only a unicorn would really be able to contend with.

>>42967486
>Another thing with an AJ x Anon though is that she benefits pretty uniquely from human physiology.
There's also the greentext story classic of Anon's hands being able to give next level massages that the pony world hasn't really seen. In the case Applejack wears her back out after a long day of work she'd probably really appreciate it. Pinkie's so, well, Pinkie, that I feel like she's found all sorts of ways to master her craft with hooves. That being said if there were any pony to give the least amount of a shit about you being a human in a relationship with her, Pinkie would absolutely be the most accepting, especially given she's used to being seen as weird and odd herself.

>She doesn't even benefit emotionally that much either, because RD still would have to leave regularly for her Wonderbolt job that she definitely wouldn't give up.
Never really thought about that. Rainbow herself initially is very insecure about her appearance, too, thinking she has to look cool in order to be interesting enough to have friends. I imagine at that point in the series she's probably pretty over it, but even then Applejack's arguably pretty cool and athletic despite being so lovably basic and humble. I dunno much about Rainbow being incompatible with Applejack, but I don't see AJ working with her at all.

It is interesting to compare the actual ponies themselves for relationships in terms of compatibility with the same logic that people use for Anon/themselves. I could like, have conversations about the characters forever basically; shit like this is only one thing you can talk about and it's super fun.

>>42967579
> In the case Applejack wears her back out after a long day of work she'd probably really appreciate it
Well if Spike can make her moan just by scratching her back, then she's probably a bit easy to please.

https://youtu.be/813wCHHeCds?si=LtkFfDLWWNwqWD3w&t=311

>>42968371
I can't believe Spike fucks Applejack on the regular and yet he still wishes he was with Rarity. What a case of not appreciating what you have.

>>42958955
>want to go out on a date?
if it works it works

>>42958955
Kiss her.

>>42968371
>Ponies enjoy having their flanks and rumps rubbed
It would be so easy to get on their good side. Everypony would be asking you for pets all the time.

>>42969253
Problem is you wouldn't be able to rub everypony and some might start getting jealous. Soon enough your dastardly fingers are tearing apart the fragile foundation of Equestrian society.

>>42967887
feet

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>>42958955
with a 12kg wheel of cheese

>>42970170
love the hair and the lil chub

>>42970383
that's a cool gift actually
think how much work went into it

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>>42958955
kick her tree

>>42969263
Well I have two hands and a crotch, so rubbing will get done three ponies at a time
Who among you mares dares to present herself first to the crotch?

>>42958955
>No hooves
No date kek

>>42971429
no date with hooves either

>>42971228
Bucking with AJ

>>42958955
I don’t think I will.
She doesn’t seem best pleased to see me.

>>42970383
Gonna need a lot of crackers.

>another humanized thread destroyed with barbieshit

>>42974896
Something about her pose is so hot

>>42975417
amazonian

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what do you think about Apple Bloom?

>>42977028
smash

>>42977028
Good kid, seems like a nice younger sibling to have.

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>>42977028
Would smash her too
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYTfV5o2ZMY

>>42977028
too old in this pic

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>>42978349
better?

>>42978599
Kek, nice.

I fucking hate that I am old enough to be the father of a girl like >>42977028. All that's left for me now in this world is post-wall women, the only slightly desirable ones obviously already having kids of their own. Ponies will be all the happiness I will ever get in this world until the day that I die. I wish nothing but pain upon normalfilth who get everything I ever wanted out of life without literally doing anything for it, and STILL have the audacity to complain. Global thermonuclear warfare soon, I hope. Let mankind burn.

>>42978842
You could adopt

>>42978842
how old are you anon? shouldn't blame yourself for not having a family, we've all been priced out of our own humanity by this point. I hope you can find a family to share pony with

>>42958955
Hi AJ, would you like to go out on a date sometime?
Its that simple

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>>42958955
Put me in your mouth

>>42979339
Put my dick in her mouth

>>42978868
I'm 45, there's no hope left for me. I made the foolish decision to not pursue women (dating and the like) until I felt I was doing okay mentally (and later also physically). I now realize that is obviously never going to happen and I've just wasted my life. My purpose in this world is to be the shining example of what not to do. That's my legacy.

>>42978863
Nah, I wanted to have kids of my own, and I'm opposed to adoption anyway, as I've seen what it does to someone who was close to a family member of mine (committed suicide).

>>42979837
F

>>42979837
>as I've seen what it does
one empirical example does not mean that everyone else ends up the same, you know

>>42981581
Sure, but it's enough to convince me. You believe what you want to believe.

>>42981011
Unf

>>42981611
>You believe what you want to believe
that's the anti-scientific approach. don't be like flat earthers

>>42981011
>>42982725
damn...

>>42983011
https://files.catbox.moe/bsg5qy.png

>>42983779
How would you ask AJ for her hand in marriage?

>>42983779
wife

>>42958955

>>42984093
just gently grab it and plant a kiss o it while she looks away, red face completely red

I would ask to help out on her farm and we become friends. Then who knows.

These are some impossibly excellent gens. Do you take requests?

>>42985446
my GPU is ded. need to buy a new one

>>42985513
Why do all you guys' GPUs die all the time? Is the hardware really THAT shitty? No way am I splurging thousands of bucks on it if that's the case, might as well just rent a GPU from a cloud provider then.

>>42985522
i ground it to death. wouldn't happen on a faster card

>>42985426
would

>>42985426
Peak

>>42986608
Love it

>>42958955
If she has hooves, then yes.

>>42986982
Only if you too have hooves otherwise get out.

>>42985548
You mentioned you were an editor in a past life. What's stopping you?

>>42987238
idk. i guess i'm lazy

>>42987253
Hahahaha, my man.

>>42986982
But how would you ask her out?

>>42987571
do she have hooves yet

>>42987576
Do you have hooves yet?

>>42987576
There's two AJ's you know.

>>42987584
and in this particular equation does she have hooves?

>>42987613
And do (You) have hooves?

>>42987613
There's an AJ with hooves, and another AJ without hooves.

>>42987642
I choose the one with hooves, but you've undoubtedly made this option come with some sort of drawback I'm sure.

>>42987650
No drawbacks. How would you ask out pony AJ?

>>42987663
Pull up listening to some Johnny cash and asking if she wants to be my pride of the south.

>>42987672
Based.

>>42987577
>>42987632
he still doesn't have hooves so no deal. AJ is a trad

>>42988001
>You caaaaan't!!! Nooo!!!
>You hafta be a pony too!!1
Lol.

>>42988009
Stay mad.

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>>42988009
sounds familiar?

>>42988018
Sounds 'perfect for this board'.

>>42988037
LOL he mad.

How does she always manage to be so sexy?

>>42989678
Apples

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>>42989805
>"did someone say "apples"?"

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>>42958955
sell her apples and apple accessories

>>42990566
Slappable ass

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>>42962455
>My partner
Just say "girlfriend" nigga we aren't on Bluesky

>>42958955
>you like apples and i like applebloom. want to go out with me someday?

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>>42958955
>we both got buckets of chicken, wanna do it?

>>42991348
And you're behind him in the human centipede chain

>>42991292
based

>>42958955

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>>42991292
my chicken is of an exquisite quality

>>42991769
>pooprojection
yawn

>>42992760
There's actually a fimfic about eating Scoots. Kentucky Fried Scootaloo

>>42993080
link?

>>42974633
>>42974262
Nice jacket

>>42993998
Is she about to take it off?

>>42958955