Thread #43031543
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why are mares like this
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>>43031543
he reminds me of those anti-japanese posters
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>>43031543
I really cant stand this artist. all of his jokes are the ponies being mean to each other, dash being a right wing conspiracy theorist, ponies taking advantage of each other, or just otherwise being mean-spirited. it's like the polar opposite of the show but not in an interesting or fun way like the violent/edgy stuff of the early days was.
took me a while to find an image of his I actually liked
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>>43031543
Then the stallion on the right turns into a massive maresogynist, and the femarenists go, "but why do so many stallions keep turning into incels? we didn't do anything. it's not our fault. oh, I know! It's because of the stallionosphere and the algorithms!!!"
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>>43042786
>baseless
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>Insecure males don't want Equestria to be like this
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>>43031543
You can't blame them. It's the females who need to gatekeep the genepool, keeping weak males out so they don't spread weak traits through the population.
If that stallion to too weak to overcome their teasing and find a way into the gene pool anyway, then it's a good thing they kept him out. Equestria doesn't need to be filled with scrawny, pimply, buck-toothed losers which is exactly what would happen if they let him breed.
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>>43047789
>>43047795
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>43050381
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Facts.
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>>43032762
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>>43060774
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>>43031544
kek I like his comics
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>>43062649
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>>43068837
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>>43076003
Only because it's tremendous blow to your self-esteem. Sex itself isn't all that it's cranked up to be, unless you're a Chad and the creature you're fucking is passionate (which she can only be with a Chad - beta males get mundane starfish sex once a month). You also need to be hung, if you're a girthlet (like me) sex will always feel like it can't even compare to your hand.
Just saying that unless you're above average in girth you might as well stop while you're ahead, it's always going to suck. Thank you God, for fucking me over in literally every way possible in this world. Sure makes me want to worship you.
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>>43076921
>he fucks for raw pleasure and expects to get satisfaction
Do sexniggers really?
After I reincarnate I will only have sex with Rainbow Dash after an officiated legally declared marriage with a religious leader. Sex only works as a means to reinforce what is already there; sex cannot be the groundwork of a bond.
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>>43076347
Love does exist, but it's reserved exclusively for highly attractive guys, anything less and she'll reluctantly settle for divorcing you after slamming into the wall at mach speeds.
As an average Steve or Josh you might as well be in the same boat as the 3/10 Melvins and Eugenes
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what is going on with the recent trend of drawing mares being mean?
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>Being such a glutton for punishment you can't even like mares unless they're acting like real women
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>>43080534
>alternatively
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>>43089456
>>43089456
She's a bad pony and even Twilight has her limits. Maybe she mind controlled her friends again.
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>>43031543
this is what happens
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>>43091935
wife
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>>43091935
my wife has so much snowpity.
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>>43032109
>I really cant stand this artist. all of his jokes are the ponies being mean to each other, dash being a right wing conspiracy theorist, ponies taking advantage of each other, or just otherwise being mean-spirited. it's like the polar opposite of the show but not in an interesting or fun way like the violent/edgy stuff of the early days was.
Those are good jokes though
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>>43076934
>After I reincarnate I will only have sex with Rainbow Dash after an officiated legally declared marriage
This you, anon?
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>>43076934
Based anon!
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>>43077520
You creatures have such poor self esteem of yourselves and I bet you have horrible judgement in aesthetics and genetics to boot.
Reveal your voices and I will tell immediately what can kind of people you are.
https://vocaroo.com/
Take note that the level of youthful hick suburbia voices I've heard here on /mlp/ is beyond normal levels. Who the hell would ever want to fuck a hick outside of another hick woman. None of you idiots have prince and princess qualities. You date what you can within your own race.
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>>43098235
This.
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>>43031543
I don't know really but I wish they did this to me haha
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>>43109799
NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS THAN THIS
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>>43109034
>>43109603
1 season*
FTFY
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>>43108283
>https://vocaroo.com/16SlS8as59Ks
sounds nothing like markiplier
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>>43112522
Not sure, but I think it might be enjoyable with the right mindset and a person you trust. A lot of those crappy erotica movies of the 90s had women cuff some guy to the bed and have her way with him, for example. I don't think I could ever trust any human being enough to do that myself, though. But it's okay to read in fanfiction.
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>>43080534
>>43085577
Which is canon?
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>>43118157
:(
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>>43120681
Turning ponies into OOC 3DPD surrogates isn't funny or interesting. I see that shit all around me every day, it's not why I'm into pony. Ponies are not like humans, it's the very reason we like them in the first place.
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>>43031543
I have technically never fucked because my shaft despite being 6'7 is thin enough to fit through the hole of a Gatorade™ bottle. So I have to use one of those male strap-ons for men a bumpy studded sheath sleeve a mutual masturbaitor a humiliation ritual for my damn needle. Since skin isn't touching it's basically like I've never had sex in a way since I'm technically being cucked by the toy even though I'm wearing the toy.
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>>43125299
Goy you better tell me NOW don't make me wait goy I don't have even 7 minutes to spare.
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>>43077520
>Love does exist, but it's reserved exclusively for highly attractive guys
Well then it's not love idiot that's just lust. It's always been lust.... Boomer humor spouse hating comics are the norm this is the fate for most people. I've seen pretty people fight, divorce, remarry and repeat the cycle so no one is safe....
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>>43127253
Hence why nearly all of modern marriages end in divorce, because as I said >>43126541
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>>43130331
Marriage only makes sense if you believe in god. If you are not religious there's literally no point. You need to sign some paper to prove you love another person? Are you hearing yourself? That's ridiculous. I dislike this idea of turning love into some deal with terms and conditions.
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>>43130836
>>43131299
>t. Got suckered into "proving his love"
Enjoy the eventual divorce rape, moron.
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>>43031543
Mare just wants all the lunch money you got, so hand it over.
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>>43138941
Marble will beat you up now. Say your prayers.
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>>43031543
>Janitor is a bozo
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>>43142884
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>>43143989
he's not a simp... HE'S A MASOCHIST!
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>>43144400
OH MY CELESTIA!
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>>43144400
Oh the horror...
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what the fuck is this thread?
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>>43146486
what
the
fuck
is this thread?
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>>43148152
Oh yeah? Explain THIS.
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no no that cant be real
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>>43150883
Dashie > Twigger
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>>43151273
Can Dash jerk you off without even touching you? No? Didn't think so.
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>>43151320
>not wanting the jerk to be physical
Might as well jerk yourself off at that point with the lack of interaction, bonehead!
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>>43151723
I don't think you wanna know just what magic can do that your hooves and feathers can't, cloudhumper.
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>>43151737
Nahh, I'd win. Feather beats magic in that department!
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>>43152646
no but i got a bucket of scootaloo does that count
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>>43153730
nom nom nom
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>>43114318
Glimmy fears the paddle.
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>>43159569
It's not so much the disappointment. Glimmy is used to that. But making Twilight angry enough to smack her bottom? That'd be new. The anger is what hurts the most.
>>43159948
So she's right?
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>>43161926
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>>43162816
Imagine being Twilight and getting bent over the table by your student, feeling the ripples and the waves of pain on your ass. Your crotchboobs jiggling too hard from the impact and becoming sore. Your ponut beginning to sting and turn red along with your cheeks. The force of the assault felt all the way through to your upper torso and head, every swing pushing your body forward before physics pulls your rump backwards again just in time to meet the next attack, essentially forcing your ass to lean into each consecutive swing. Imagine the impact of each hit makes you lurch forward so violently that your ears begin to hurt after enough time. Imagine it goes on so long that the back half of your body becomes numb and just as that happens Starlight leaves you there to sulk as your head aches and feeling slowly starts to return to your rump. The agony unlike anything you ever felt before. You're too afraid to move because you think it'll make it hurt worse. And every little twitch your body makes proves that theory right. Eventually you have to get up to shit and the walk to the toilet is hell. The sensation of shit moving through your mangled guts and bruised ponut is enough to make you cry like a baby. Starlight doesn't feel bad for you. She enjoyed doing it and thinks you deserved it for being so hard on her. The entire back half of your body aches and sores and stays red for weeks. Your crotchboobs feel like they have a severe sunburn and you can't even flick the bean to alleviate the pain. You have to be embarrassed anytime anypony sees you with such a red bottom, especially at royal functions. You have to make excuses but they know you're lying. Sometimes Starlight even tells ponies what she did just to embarrass you.
What would you do? Would you ever punish Starlight again? Would you just go a little easier on her? Or would you get your own revenge and spank her even harder before turning her to stone mid spank so that she feels it for all eternity?
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>>43164237
Wrong. Starlight Glimmer is best pony.
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>>43165359
B O O P
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>>43165675
>I want more glimmerspam
That is among the only times the board moderation ever stepped in (except when they said no HI ANON fun prompts) to say
>Quit your fucking spamming
I'm glad there's no catalog or page after page of MaStUrBoOp anymore.
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None of this spanking business is canon. This >>43080534 is the true route.
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>>43155582
no
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>>43168356
yeah you get some nice free milk from the milkmare
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>>43169020
AWOOOOOOGA
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>>43163261
Imagine turning just her cheeks to stone, mid ripple, and leaving the rest of her body alone. She'll feel the full force of the spank at all times for the rest of her life and her butt will be forever misshapen. She'll be humiliated every time anypony even looks in her direction. Would it even be worth living like that?
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>>43169482
Keep in mind in addition to the ripples her stone ass will forever have the deep imprint of the paddle too if you time it right. Fillies would constantly be laughing at her or about her behind her back. Her friends will be embarrassed to be seen in public with her and will slowly stop loving her over time as she descends into a deep depression. Secretly they'll be glad they don't have to be friends with paddle-ass anymore. No one will ever want to have sex with her either. It'll even be hard for her to walk around. And shitting will be really gross. She'll even have to polish her stone cheeks every time. Only Spike will be there for her, he's a real one.
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>>43169020
Interesting factoid but mare milk is closer to a human mothers milk than cows milk is. Yes realistically pony milk is very good for an anons diet.
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>>43172544
pony milk you say?
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>>43172985
>uma
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>>43173607
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>>43176332
>implying
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>>43177204
noko
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Is it a good thing to learn to follow Twilight's rules so you don't get spanked? Or should you stick to your guns?
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