>>2842491
I try and poop on every challenging summit I conquer. Some you just can't because everyone and their mom is up there. And others just don't seem poop worthy. But I've pooped on 9 different peaks over 14k foot tall.

>>2842491
I worked cable doing plant extensions, mostly. 99% of the time, worked outside with no bathroom nearby. Usually I can take care of business before leaving the house, but not always. Here’s one:
>working up in the bucket truck, drilling through a pile for a new guy wire frame
>beer from last night trying to push it’s way out
>tell my coworkers, “I gotta go for a walk in the forest over there”
>boom down, drop harness and shimmy past the tree line
>take a big smelly dump behind a log
>resume work
>an hour later the customer gets home, and we are 3 poles down, next to the house, almost done
>he opens the door to his Highlander, and his big dog instantly bolts out, beeline to the tree line
>the dog proudly trots back to his owner with my turd clenched in it’s jaws
>I duck down inside the bucket to hide, not because I’m embarrassed, but because I cannot stop laughing

>>2842503
Drilling through a pole*

Another one at work:
>Aerial to underground cable, shorts-ish job but took 2 hours to drive there
>been holding it in for some reason instead of stopping to use the toilet like a normal person
>arrive at job site, commence work on roadside poles, move to private property side to finish work there. I’m turtle-heading at that point.
>tell my coworkers, “ I gotta go for a walk in the woods over there.” By now they know what this means
>drop harness, reflective vest, run past tree line to find a good spot
>find a big ditch that a surveyor dug to test the ground water
>perfect
>begin pooping in said ditch
>hear the laughter of children
>look around and notice a fence about 30 ft away, didn’t notice it before due to dense foliage. A couple brats are lined up behind the fence, watching me poop
>turns out there is a “nature school” business next door to the plat we are working on, and it’s recess time
>for some reason I am still wearing my hard hat, use it to hide my face while I finish my business
>get lucky, it’s one of those magical turds that leaves no residue, test wipe confirms that it was a clean break
>make my escape
One of the best shots I ever had

Summer of 2023 I was on a walk with my dog. We were walking along the shore of the ocean. I suddenly felt diarrhea hit - you know, massive, stinky farts followed by a warm sensation around you're butthole. "no problem, I brought toilet paper". I run into the bushes and shit all over the blueberry bushes. It was mostly liquid so the bushes were covered. I was happy and no longer worried about shitting myself. I walk down to the ocean to enjoy the view when I suddenly hear voices behind me. "oshit what the fuck". I didn't expect to meet people here and the massive pile of shit did not help. There are two ways to enter the small cove I was in; either walking along the water OR you could enter through the area I had just covered in shit. So I freeze, "plz god no, no no no". I then see them, it's a family, two adults and two kids. A girl is in the front, probably 10 years old. She walks right into the bushes covered in shit. She's wearing shorts, her shins and shoes are covered in shit. She screams. Her father comes running, he checks her feet then he looks at me with the most disappointed, angry stare you can imagine.

I ran.

>>2842511
*best shits
Phonepostong….
Final poo story:
>working in the city today
>on the rooftop of a retirement home, 7 stories up
>great view, 10 mile visibility
>this place has bathrooms for visitors, but every time I went down to go, they are occupied and locked
>tell my coworkers to stay in the mechanical room and keep the door shut
>they know what this means
>start pooping on the roof next to the kitchen vents
>they are making some kind of chicken curry dish
>the smell of curry and poop mix together
>say to myself out loud, “this is what it must be like in India!”
>grab a nearby section of extra membrane left by the roofers
>cover up my leavings and smash it down
>I was never here

3 days ago on my way back, i had been noticing it since the morning but it wasn't urgent. just before i started the downhill walk i was going to do it but someone arrived so thought i would it somewhere later down. i keep going down and down but can't find a good place, it's bare mountain and no good places hidden from the top.

i hold it for more than an hour until i start to see some trees, holding it more and more until i find a good spot but nowhere good enough. finally i can't hold it enough and do it in the middle of the trail after a bend after listening a bit and hearing nobody. while i'm cleaning myself i hear someone, i get up and pretend i'm looking at my phone, it's a guy doing trail running coming fast so i think he will probably don't see the huge turd at my feet, he says hi as normal and just after passing by he notices, turns his head back while running with a surprised expression in his face, trips, almost falls but saves it with 2-3 huge steps and barely missing a tree

then he kept running without looking back again

This is an event for yall? I try to do this daily

>>2842527
yea i rushed the subjeft field and forgot "yourself" but good stories anyway they are always hilarious

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>overnight backpacking trip on the Massanutten South trail couple weeks back
>instant mashed potatoes, summer sausage, and an Indian chickpea packet was grub the night before
>looking for a side trail that leads to the base of an old fire tower. on this section, even the main trail clearly isn't used a lot
>my dog points out a rock cairn and i see one white blaze along the main orange blaze on a tree
>this side trail is narrow, overgrown, and with my overnight pack and dog looks to be more of a pain in the ass than it's worth
>rumbleinmybowels.png
>tie my dog to a tree, sit on a log, and release the beast
> decide fuck it on the old fire tower trail, maybe i'll come back in winter

>>2842491
Last Thursday, I felt the need to shit while driving between fishing spots, so I diverted to an place I thought no one would be, and thank God, I was able to shit without incident.

>>2842503
That's funny af anon
>>2842495
Based
>>2842491
I've only done it once so far... it was pretty inconvenient to figure out. There wasn't much cover in the area either

>>2842514
LMAO

>>2842491
Was driving through Wyoming about 11 years ago. Running low on gas and in the middle of no-fucking-where. Had to take a piss real bad, so parked on the shoulder and got out to do the deed. As Im standing there pissing by the rear of the car, I see a goddamned rattlesnake way to fucking close to me. I back away slowly, zip up, and eventually find a gas station. Shit though, little fucker was nearly invisible in the late evening.

I almost made it to my toilet the other day.
Only casualty was my shorts.

>>2842491
Do portajohns count? I'm doing it right now~

>>2843195
no
OUTSIDE

I took a diarrhea dump on an abandoned runway. I came back days later, and it was still wet underneath.

>>2845409
How did you know it was still wet underneath?

>>2845434
I poked it with a stick

Last 2 times I had to do it I was on sand, thankfully. Camping in the sand dunes, fishing trip
>3 day trip
>need to unload
>walk 200m back into the dunes where nobody is
>dig a hole
>do the thing
>burn the paper
>fill in the hole

The very last time was in pitch black darkness...just adds another element to it.

Just don't be the guy that shits beside a tent site. A few times I pulled a stake out from the ground covered in scat and asswipe. Fuck whoever shits right beside their tent

>>2845578
That’s shitty, man. When I need to go at the campsite, I just hike a couple minutes into the forest, turn over a big rock, blast it into the hole, return rock to its resting place.

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Thoughts on trail bidets?

Section hiked the AT and mostly used the shelter latrines except once, so I never actually used it.

Simple story really, only 1 time surprisingly.
>be me
>be on wma
>hike for an hour or 2
>walk back to car
>on way, feel an extreme and painful need to shit
>try to brush it off but can't
>had bag on w/ water bottle inside and other things
>use plastic bag to shit somewhat off path
>carry shit bag w/ me and toss it out when I get home

>>2842527
I know right?

Had to poop in a snow forest in -30 once when I was in the army. Honestly, it was one of the best shits I ever had, not only it went quick and smooth, but also wiping with snow turned out to be absolutely refreshing and much more hygienic. Totally recommend.

>>2847745

Another experience my grandma had. We took a train once to the relatives, and in the middle of the ride grandma suddenly told me that she had to take a shit. Mind you, it was a train with no toilets whatsoever, so she had to do the duty in that section where carriage doors are. As she told me later, she picked a moment when no one was seemingly around, put a rag on the floor, pooped inside of it, and neatly wrapped it for lulz in case someone would think it was lost money or some goods.
Damn, I miss my grandma so much.

Just got off the interstate. Felt the diarrhea coming, but I made it to a gas station. Almost shit outside just now. Diarrhea is the worst.

>>2850145
God had deemed that it should be my fate to shit outside today. Once I got out of my car at the fishing spot, I felt the urge. I hurried with a roll of TP up until a downed tree blocking a game trail. I set my stuff down, squatted, and shat. I am slow and a late riser, so I didn't have any quality fishing time. My life is in shambles. I've got shit pics, and I collected my TP. It's still in my car, since I have yet to go to a gas station. I wish you all good health and steady bowels.

>>2842527
>This is an event for yall? I try to do this daily
I was just thinking that. I dont even have a flush toilet, I use a composting toilet which is outside

My stories aren’t as good. All mine involve geocaching. I find them. I poop in them. The end.

>>2850188
the street doesn't count as a "composting toilet" my Indian friend.

>>2847746
lol. This one got me good. RIP your grandma.

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>Be me
>Go to party
>Got drunk and ate pizza day before hike because I'm stupid
>Next day
>Drive to location hungover
>Nothing hair of dog won't fix once I'm there
>A nice whiskey and a cig makes the world better.
>Start hiking
>Guts start to ache
>Suddenly feel the urge to go
>No time to pick a hidden spot
>Go next to the main trail
>Spend 20 minutes in paining agony and adrenaline because I could be caught.
>The sink...
>Finish up
>Feel amazing
>Start walking again
>Turn back
>mfw I see my pile of shit steaming so much it might as be a fire and I just spot a bunch of hiking coming up the trail

>>2842491
Had a palak paneer in Krakow then got on to the train to Vienna. First thing I did when I arrived was shit in a park. Never eating at an Indian restaurant again if I can avoid it.

>>2842491
I was once roaming around Portland Oregon homeless and that day or perhaps the day before I stopped at a church with a homeless shelter and I got some free food. I ate a whole box of capn crunch cereal (not the typical size found at grocery stores, but a smaller si,e) and had to poop later. This was late night/early morning. Thankfully, there wasn't any people outside and there was a parking lot behind the bench I was sitting at with a planter deep enough to squat in. I take one of the fattest shits of my life in accordance plastic bag, and I look up, only to see a car in the parking lot with a lady in the car and we lock eyes for a few seconds. I'm pretty sure she knew what I did. I laughed out loud, tied the bag and threw it away.

Always have a plastic bag on you when doing /out/door activities. Trust me, they come in handy and take up no space in your pocket(s).

>>2852103
Why would you shit in a bag, unless you’re about to light it on fire and leave it on someone’s porch after ringing their doorbell? Are you a dog? Just shit on the ground like a normal person.

>>2852103
Disgusting
You should kill yourself

>>2846731
I find it ridiculous when people do this
>shit is 100% biodegradable
>actually good for the environment in most cases
>dog or yourself takes a shit outside
>pick it up in plastic bag that will never biodegrade
>throw plastic bag in a trash can so it can be delivered to a landfill where it will pollute the earth for hundreds of years
Retard logic

>>2852103
See
>>2853235

>>2853108
>Just shit on the ground like a normal person.
Because no one wants to see or step in your shit. Either dig a cathole or gtfo

>>2853242
He shit in a deep planter box, where nobody is going to step. No point in using a bag. Dogs just shit wherever they want, that’s why it’s the law for their owners to clean it up (they do it for free) and the ones who don’t are assholes. Most people are at least smart enough to poop somewhere off the beaten trail, so to speak.

Even in nature, I roll over a big rock, blast it into the hole, and roll the rock back.

Perhaps any female hikers would like to share? :-)

>>2853528
Can confirm,I dont clean my dogs shit, am an asshole otherwise

Day hiking in below freezing weather, snow everywhere. Have to shit, feels like diarrhea. I’m not going to make it to a McDonalds or a gas station. Nobody around, not even dog walkers. Go off far enough I can’t see the trail anymore. Find a small clearing surrounded by bushes for cover and drop a big pile. It’s not diarrhea after all, just a huge pile shaped like a classic turd emoji. Wipe with snow. Do not recommend.
About two days later, back on the same trail. Decide to go have a look. It’s been in the teens all week. Expect to find a frosted shitpile.
It’s gone, MacReady.
My footprints and various animal tracks are all that can be found. My shit is gone. Some animal ate my shit.

>>2842514
>cover up my leavings
>my leavings
>leavings
Holee shit anon. That is fucking awesome and hilarious.

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>>2842491
Plenty of times, but the only interesting one was the time I had to take a massive shit in a bushy residential green belt when covid closed all the nearby public bathrooms.
Was surprised at how easy it was.

>>2842491
I passed some women once when it was getting dark and sped up until I was out of view and quickly took a shit right in the middle of the trail. I hid off the trail until they passed and used my flashlight to check the turds and they had clearly been smeared all over the ground. So some chick had my shit all over her shoes then went and hopped into a car then had to endure the smell. I wonder if she realized it was human and then connected it to me. I ended up feeling bad about it, honestly.

>>2842491
>shorefishing harbor on an incoming tide.
>moderately populated tourist beach
>jump from jetty
>flow with current towards the harbor
>assblast stealthily.
>solid log surfaces
>minnows swarm.
>climb back up jetty
>walk back wondering the fate of my turd as it flowed inland.


It was an emergency situation.

>>2842491
Was on a very hastily decided trip a few years ago. Winter. Whisky and beer around the fire.
Sudden urge to go. Ran into the bushes and dropped my trousers. Managed to shit all over them. Had to wash in the river in the dark, was snowy, seriously cold. Realised I’d only taken the one pair of trousers. Spent the rest of the night in my drysuit.
One of the other lads got into shrooms and did a liquid shit in his drysuit during a several hour walk after the car wouldn’t start.
Farmer gays a ride with a strange look an “uh…. You can ride on the back”. Must have been terrible tripping out with drysuit booties full of liquid stink.

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Here's a good one from earlier today.

Was heading to the bar with friends from work. I got the feeling of needing to shit. I turned back home. Unpleasant constipated diarrhea at home. It wasn't the worst, but I don't think I want to risk going out. Shitting outside in this weather or shitting in a college bar is no fun.

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>>2842491
holy shit this thread is still up lmao heres a recent from the river

>>2846426
thats a thing? inagine shooting 4 water o. your fractured ass
i refuse to believe a portable bidet on more than a day hike is usable
nasty

>>2859470
are those rocky's
best boot ever

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>>2859503
>are those rocky's
Hell yeah Brother. I've tried a lot of different boots over the year, but overall these are probably my favorite. By far the best in terms of durability vs. price point. The only complaint I have is with the laces, which started falling apart after about 2 weeks. But new laces are like $7, so not really a big deal.

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>>2859550
YEA HEHYA buddy! ive had these bastards since 2017 they have never failed me, loved em so much i grabbed 2 more pairs
i will swear by them, the ankle support is unmatched the fit is perfect the tread is geeat and as a stone mason they have never let me down
im sad they stopped making mine in high top
great boots
woe unto thee who have never experienced Rocky

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incase anyone is interested try and find these or something like that i PROMISE they are the best boots out there ill put my trip on it
best boots in the world

>>2859677
rkyk706. had a 6 foot lentil drop from 3 feet and didnt even scathe me
no joke

>>2859677
Have you tried Keens? I have a pair of Rockies that are too big. I still use the included keychain. However, I've come to be a big fan of Keen boots, particularly the Targhee IV.
>>2859678
What do beans and boots have to do with one another?

>2019
>RASP night landnav
>im a gigachad so i sprint as fast as i can through the woods to my furthest point way hefore anyone else
>only way yo get to my point is across a bridge over a river
>lay a 2 foot long surface shit right in the middle of the bridge
>chuckle
>get dropped from the course for giving some points to a crying private