most women have this problem, it's really not exclusive to le ugly femcel ones or whatever.
Men are shit.

>>83833334
i read this erotic manga called sasha chan to classmate otaku kun recently and it made me really ashamed to relate to the boy character called otaku because even tho i relate to his feelings about sasha, im still not as sexual or perverted as him. i think there's something wrong with me, i need to be more sexual but im too ugly to enjoy anything, can that wreck your libido? it doesnt for guys from what i can tell. i cant remember the last time i got horny. i guess i would be a bad girlfriend for that reason alone

Imagine you're ovulating. Imagine the goo collects in your prostate and you just need to get it out of your body before it overflows into your brain.

>>83833326
>ok tell me how to be okay with romantic prospect's porn use
if that is a standard for you, then don't settle and make sure you can satisfy your partner's sexual needs. if you're just going to kill your bedroom by being a starfish, then you can't really expect a man to just go around with no outlet to his urges. same goes for your needs, by the way. if you settle for a person that will watch porn, then you will resent him. that's not good.

>>83833412
>can that wreck your libido?
Yes insecurity is the worst. Self confident men and women have sex more often and reach orgasm more easily due to confidence. Porn use is symptomatic of coping for insecurity via sexual objectification.

Sexual objectification helps when emotionally insecurity is too painful. There are multiple methods, for insecurity you might look down upon others rather than seeing them as equals if you feel below others.

>>83833326
Just stop being a whiny little bitch and tell the guy you don't want him to look at other women, he's more likely to respect that than any whining

You women are so unashamed about being whores but when it comes to being decent you become timid as lambs, the stupid sex baka desu famalam

Little use I think is okay. What's better is giving him some material of yourself like nudes and maybe a few videos of you two having sex. It's what I did, and now, he doesn't look at any other porn.

>>83833326
>i really wish i were pretty enough to be a slut like every guy wants
Don't worry, you're already a slut on the inside

When I had an internet gf she would send me lewd pictures sometimes and I would just jerk off to those. So just do that I guess.

>>83833720
i'd really kill myself if my body and brain worked so disgustingly, its already bad enough! but ovulation doesnt make me feel any different, i cant tell when im ovulating. obviously the average person gets sexually frustrated or pent up without release but why does the release have to be to a different whore each time or someone youre not close to or an extremely beautiful woman etc? originally i thought it was a last resort when you dont have any girls but the only guy ive been close to does not think the same way

>>83833326
my Christian gf first hated my porn use. she was 110% convinced that It would mean I would cheat at some point.
I told her thats just the Christian brainwashing and she should chill

15yrs later she's reading some real kinky hentais and spending weeks reading werewolf smut
part of our foreplay is going down on each other and consuming porn.

it's not complicated once your dragged out of your own head by someone who loves and stays
getting that someone is the problem

>>83833326
Same way they are ok with seieng chad in your favorite shitty netflix show

>>83833412
>but im too ugly to enjoy anything, can that wreck your libido?
Can psychological issues wreck your libido? Yes you retard. It's the leading cause of male erectile dysfunction. Pressure to perform and other such things. It's not (usually) a factor of ugliness for men because they're not as obsessed with their looks as women are.
>>83833736
Also retarded. Not all, but most porn use is simply an outlet where otherwise doesn't exist.
Men with no gfs watch porn because who the fuck else are they going to fuck? Answer: no one, or prostitutes but that's even worse.
>>83833766
>but why does the release have to be to a different whore each time or someone youre not close to or an extremely beautiful woman etc?
If it was one of your close friends, you would be (much more of) a wreck. If it was someone much uglier than you, you would be a wreck (why her? wtf?!). Who would you be okay with him fapping to precisely?
Look up the rythym method to find a way to tell when you're ovulating. Not as a method of actual birth control but because little things like temperature variance is neat just to know.

Ideally you shouldn't really even know or think about your bf's porn use. He shouldn't talk about it, and even with heavy porn use if you go "hey babe want some fuckkk?" he should be like "yissssss".
What's much more likely is if he didn't fap at all,he would attempt sex with you much more often, you would say no, and it would cause a different sort of a divide + make him feel unwanted and blah blah.

For the record I don't fap to 3d porn either, find it distasteful to do w/ real people. But you have no idea what it's like to be a young guy.

>>83833731
i dont think i can satisfy anyones sexual needs, i have an intact hymen; inexperienced. and im not flexible or pretty or anything. i dont want this to be a standard of mine because i'll never find someone in my age range.
>>83833748
>>83833755
>>83833764
i did tell him and i did send body, i posted pretty ambiguously but i had been interested in him online for three years. he chose porn. i want input from guys on reasons for watching porn, reasons for compartmentalization (its just men settling in my mind) and maybe advice so that i can find an irl relationship and not be bitter. i was looking for a working analogy. also i really dont understand why guys get off on girls watching porn but girls dont get off on guys watching porn
>>83833756
yea my wish is granted just because i wished for it..

>>83833766
The first sentiment you express is maladaptive. If porn and masturbation is icky to you that is your taste and indeed you are entitled to feel that way. I am not sure that your reaction indicates the kind of resilience that is necessary to weather lifes myriad disappointments and humiliations, or extend grace to others failing to live up to an ideal.

I used to feel similarly to you about superstitious and religious people. Changing my attitude has improved my relations (although my moral scruples and dyspeptic demeanor still regularly get me into trouble).

>>83833811
>Also retarded. Not all, but most porn use is simply an outlet where otherwise doesn't exist.
>Men with no gfs watch porn because who the fuck else are they going to fuck? Answer: no one, or prostitutes but that's even worse.
It's because you're insecure and not a man but a boy. I've had nine girlfriends so far in my life. Getting laid is the easiest thing in the world. The hardest is finding a equal partner who is confident.

>>83833326
Start by realizing porn preys on a male's psyche, often subliminal messages towards them when theyre kids, oversexualization of women and the fact everyone keeps talking 'sex this sex that'.

Imagine getting addicted at something at 12 and years go without anyone telling you its bad or the repercussions because 'its taboo to talk about'

If you want him to stop youre gonna have to step up and take care of his needs, like a nicotine patch for smokers suck his dick when he needs it. Replace his addiction to porn with an addiction to you

>>83833326
Okay, sexual attraction for men and women operates in a fundamentally different way, but they both assume it operates the same.

For women, attraction and arousal are tied into several other things. There's an emotional component to it, alongside others I won't get into because I don't want to put you on the defensive, since I'm trying to help here.

For men, however, attraction exists in a vacuum. Yes, some men can and do cheat, but their arousal/attraction system is far more self-contained that that of women. Even the ones that do cheat evidence this - this is how they can go screw a mistress and still go home and be a loving father to a family, because to them it really is just attraction and there's no other emotions involved. So yes, you're very correct in that men actually do compartmentalize attraction, that's literally how their brains operate, not a conscious choice on their part. The upside of this is that it isn't always the problem you perceive it as. If your partner is looking at porn, for example, that doesn't mean they're no longer attracted to you, or that they think other women are more attractive than you. It's just arousal, and as long as it isn't taken to an extreme where it affects your sex life, then it isn't a problem.

In my opinion, shit like vtubers or streamers should be FAR more worrying to a woman than porn, because those are cases where your partner is experiencing emotional attraction rather than physical.

Also understand as a women you are hardwired to mateguard. The reason you feel the way you do is your instincts are trying to motivate you to protect your mate from being stolen by another woman. So dealing with them involves determining when there's an actual threat and when leftover tribal instincts are just compelling you to act despite no other woman actually posing a threat to you. And recognizing when those instincts are accomplishing the opposite of what they're supposed to, IE: driving a good, loyal partner away.

>>83833326
watching porn = lust is how i always viewed it. they're probably only watching it to get off really. if he cant keep it up without it, then its a problem

>>83833859
I'm not interested in serial monogamy or just getting laid. I don't want sex unless I'm with a girl I love.
>hurr durr I've had 9 gfs!
And thus nine failed relationships, gg.

>>83833841
>also i really dont understand why guys get off on girls watching porn but girls dont get off on guys watching porn
Men tend to be more visually orientated than women. This is a -well- known thing; men look at porn, women read literotica / smut novels.

>i did tell him and i did send body, i posted pretty ambiguously
What, PRECISELY, does "I posted pretty ambiguously" mean?
>but i had been interested in him online for three years.
Unless you're actually dating each other this is meaningless. This is actually a pretty significant detail, 3 years is a LONG time to be apart from someone.

>>83833841
It has nothing to do with you. Don't try to appease his lack of self-control.

And I'd advise against this LDR stuff, I think it's nonsense

>>83833841
>also i really dont understand why guys get off on girls watching porn but girls dont get off on guys watching porn
I don't know either. I don't watch porn except for those sex videos I mentioned in my post every once in awhile. I just like seeing how it looks when he penetrates and cums in me. I don't think he would care if I did, but I don't see the point, including the word porn like romance novels. I've read a few but I could not get interested at all and stopped after a few chapters. I just know men tend to be visual.

>>83833886
>I'm not interested in serial monogamy or just getting laid. I don't want sex unless I'm with a girl I love.
Tell me that after you fail ten times before you learn it was you who was wrong all along. Try be more self-centered, focus on what benefits you and helps you grow stronger and more confident. Do not use women as crutches.

>>83833886
>What, PRECISELY, does "I posted pretty ambiguously" mean?
the text in my original post is ambiguous, start thread, i didnt want to risk him seeing this but im going to sleep soon and i doubt he will before its gone. i agree its meaningless, i know

Imagine yourself alone for the rest of your life. Imagine dying this way with no reason to live. Does this make you stand up on your own stronger and strive toward achieving a better life, or does it make you wish you were dead?

If you wish you were dead, do something about it you coward.

>>83833841
>I want input on reasons for watching porn.
There's a lot.
Stress has always been a big one, as has boredom. Porn is a quick, effective, and free drug for self-soothing and stimulation.
The time I really got stuck in an addiction to it was when I started this stressful job. Anyone who's dated a woman will tell you exactly how most of them respond when their partner is in a stressful situation: THEY MAKE IT FUCKING WORSE. Every time, they just have a sense for when a man is struggling so they pick that exact moment to pile EVERYTHING they can onto him and make the whole situation much more difficult than it already is. Fuck knows why they do it but they all do. So in a stressful situation your best option is to withdraw, isolate, and limit time spent with your partner so she doesn't torch both your relationship and job all at once because she can't handle you being stressed about something. And guess what does help you calm down? Orgasm.
Another big one for me is variety, but I'm severely ADHD so this may not apply to other dudes. I get bored of the same thing over and over. I need something new every so often. And porn is far more creative than my partners in that respect. Plus it doesn't judge me. I can go online and look up fucked up nasty shit with the understanding that I just need something different for once. Trying to talk a partner into trying something new is a roll of the dice in and of itself, and trying to talk them into trying something nasty is kind of a 50/50 shot if it'll end the relationship or have other repercussions down the line.
Fuck man, sometimes I just want to see an overtly sexy costume without having to talk a partner through her insecurity and body issues and do all the emotional labour of supporting her just to get her to wear an outfit once that she's never gonna fucking wear again.

>>83833810
No reply kek

>>83833958
thank you pal, i know, unfortunately i havent had money to get my permit to get my license to get a job to rent a studio to get a gun. i refuse to make family find me or cleanup or pay for cleanup and i refuse to feel survival instinct as i'm actively dying

>>83833326
>his balls aren't always too drained to watch porn
skill issue

>>83833966
didnt see it, a bunch of replies came at once and i skimmed them, caught the longer ones. i hate netflix and most subscription models, the media i consume from males is like genshin lore and history content. the actors may be objectively attractive but im pretty sure women who are over thirteen or not completely retarded dont find themselves attracted to the actors. think bella hadid, objectively attractive but not appealing to plenty of men. and men get the beautiful celebrity women for porn too?,, women definitely arent schlicking to challengers even tho they said it was so hot. i saw more normie women candidly admit they masturbated to nick and olandria's kiss or makeout(?) on love island than ive seen women even talk about any male actor starring in any show. jacob elordi had a moment i suppose. bedtime now

>>83833988
How are you going to use a gun to get a job and better yourself in life? Are you going to sign up as a guardsman in Alaska to protect miners and tradesmen from grizzlies? That's not a bad aim but buy yourself some very warm comfy underwear before you set out.

>>83833912
What are you even talking about?
What benefits me is not sleeping around given how disastrously sex has affected my life and the lives of other people I know.
I am plenty confident and I don't use women as crutches, be it my desire for them or their affections. I haven't even bothered dating (or fucking) in years given how little I care about it or them.
You are assuming a lot of me.

>>83833918
In that case I'll make it simple: you don't get to be upset or attempt to control his behavior until you're dating him. All you can do is tell him you don't like it, and potentially refuse to date him as a result of his choices.
But if you're interested in him then just confess and you'll have your answer. If he accepts then you're good to go, if he doesn't then you don't need to be worried about it anymore as he's not going to date you anyway.

>>83833995
She's not even dating the guy, she's going into hysterics in her head about it.
Kind of understandable, in the sense that men would be unhappy if their love interest was a whore, but rather than him actually sleeping with someone she's upset his eyes aren't virgin eyes.
>AIEEEEE YOUR EYES HAVE GRACED MORE BOUNTIFUL FEMININE FORMS THAN MINE OWN!
It's a weird masochistic lashing out of her own insecurities.

>>83833326
i don't get why you people have this problem man, it's so retarded
it does not matter that they look "better" they are not real, you cannot touch them or smell them or actually have sex with them. they are objectively less good.
the only reason porn is better than you is if a) you wont do the things that i can get from porn that i might want to do and b) if the guy wants a quickie and you dont want to have a quickie - because believe it or not the pressure to perform is almost entirely on the guy and sometimes they just do not want to do that, they dont want to spend a half hour or more on you trying to get you in the mood and ramp up and then hold themselves back until you're done every single time. half the time they just want an effortless release and to go on with their day
outside of that there is no way porn is ever 'better' you make up fake scenarios in your head and hurt your own feelings
if there is a willing woman that i like with her legs open and next to her porn, nobody is choosing the porn they're always going for the hole stop letting your brain ruin you and run wildly out of control man

>>83833841
>Reasons on compartmentalization
Well I mean, that's just our natural state.
I'm in a relationship at the moment. I love my partner and think she's amazing. She's the sexiest women in the world. When we're out shopping or at lunch or the beach or whatever, I'll still find other women catching my eye. I don't sit there leering or anything. Hell, my first conscious thought after noticing an attractive woman is 'she could never make me as happy as this girl does', but there's still that moment where my eyes snap onto her before my conscious mind kicks in. I've no interest in anyone else. I've had them flirt, ect, and while that sort of thing is always an ego boost I don't go with it, I just kind of move past it. I still find them attractive, just in different ways. I know you said no analogies just because I love chocolate doesn't make strawberry bad, it's still a nice flavour, tastes good. I like chocolate a bit better but I can like more than one flavour at a time. I'm not gonna go buying strawberry icecream, but if I see some in the store of course my mind's gonna have a moment of 'Oh man, I bet that tastes nice'.
I dunno, it feels like I'm trying to explain a very simple, fundamental concept here, but women tend to react to it with disgust. I get that. I react to some of the ways women are with disgust. Loyalty and honest are both important to me, and some women can be pretty fucking manipulative and disloyal to their partners while somehow justifying it to themselves. I don't hold all women accountable for that though. When one acts in a way I find disgusting, I try to be aware of the difference between their instincts and choices, and try to see things from their perspective with an understanding of how they're wired biologically and psychologically. If not, I'd dump a girl every time she tried a shittest out of the principle of the thing. Instead I just kinda try to remember these aren't choices so much as things her body/mind tricks her into doing.

>>83834045
>You are assuming a lot of me.
Hey I can only tell you the most certain way to fail is doing exactly what you said. That's what I did.

Things I did not do:
1) judge other people harshly
2) focus on what benefits me directly
3) demand a pay-off in return for respect
4) expect others to continuously reinforce their value
5) idealize success above all else

Might be a good way to go.

>>83833326
i mean bruh just have sex once a day everything else is retarded like if i was having sex once a day everyday i would never jerk off with porn or without

>>83834045
>but rather than him actually sleeping with someone she's upset his eyes aren't virgin eyes.
>>AIEEEEE YOUR EYES HAVE GRACED MORE BOUNTIFUL FEMININE FORMS THAN MINE OWN!
>It's a weird masochistic lashing out of her own insecurities.
Like I said, mate guarding instincts. It's not her fault, it's not something she's doing deliberately, I can count on one hand the number of women I've met who aren't just straight up slaves to their every pointless instinct.
Even the really high-value women are still affected by these instincts, the difference is instead of lashing out they do something proactive about it. They don't go 'he's watching porn, that's a problem', they see him watching porn and they go out and buy a slutty outfit for the bedroom and watch a video on how to do something new with their tongue. They deal with it by giving him a reason to be loyal and focused on them rather than driving him away by freaking out aimlessly.

>>83834116
>i mean bruh just have sex once a day everything else is retarded like if i was having sex once a day everyday i would never jerk off with porn or without
I had this girlfriend who would start sobbing because I could only cum three or four times in a day and she could dozens of times. It gets heckin' sore dude I'm sorry but as soft as you are on the inside it's just too rough on me and my meat.

>>83834045
>She's not even dating the guy, she's going into hysterics in her head about it.
i dont know why this feels insulting, i wish it were the full truth lol

>she's upset his eyes aren't virgin eyes.
i dont understand why having sex is different from jerking your cock wishing you were the one having sex. its not that he has seen more beautiful in the past, its not that his eyes arent virginal, its that i couldnt be enough and that he tried to make me be more like them (online) and got tired of being unable to

>>83834045
>In that case I'll make it simple: you don't get to be upset or attempt to control his behavior until you're dating him.
You... don't even get to do it then.
You should never be controlling someone's behaviour and if their behaviour makes you freak out, you don't date them in the first place.
Of course, finding a man who doesn't watch porn in this day and age is about as likely as finding a women who's still a virgin at 20. But hey, at least the guys who want that don't start dating sluts and then insist they become virgins and claim to have a problem with them being sluts.

>>83834076
>I dunno, it feels like I'm trying to explain a very simple, fundamental concept here, but women tend to react to it with disgust.
Women just don't get it no matter how much you explain it to them.
>When we're out shopping or at lunch or the beach or whatever, I'll still find other women catching my eye. I don't sit there leering or anything. Hell, my first conscious thought after noticing an attractive woman is 'she could never make me as happy as this girl does', but there's still that moment where my eyes snap onto her before my conscious mind kicks in.
I've expressed that -exact- thing before, albeit in other words of course, and a femanon the other day, maybe a week ago, said that it was an utterly brutal black pill.
I just can't understand it myself, and I'm pretty good with dealing with the female mind.
>You're upset that we... pay attention to our environment? That we understand other people people exist, that we can recognize them as attractive even if we don't want anything to do with them?
I mean fuck I can tell when a guy is attractive that doesn't mean I want to fuck him.
>as opposed to my brother who is unable to tell if a guy is attractive or not beyond disfigurement, but I seriously hope he's memeing me.

>>83834152
>But hey, at least the guys who want that
#1 problem faced by fresh virgin couple: Can't have sex with a virgin or you'll both become sluts.

>>83833964
>>83834062
>>83834076
thank you all, insightful and really helpful, i will remember pieces from all of these replies

>>83834147
>its that i couldnt be enough
Understand that 99% of women feel this way and if we didn't find you attractive we wouldn't bother talking to you. If someone is going on dates with you, you are enough. And the insecurity is a turnoff.
You know, I've dated some girls that were not that good looking. But they were confident and flirty and acted like they were hot shit even though they weren't, and fuck if that wasn't so goddamn sexy. Insecurity isn't sexy on anyone, but attitude plays a part in how attractive we perceive people to be. Having these thoughts and fears about not being good enough is normal, but dwelling/ruminating on them the way you are and allowing them to change how you make decisions when it comes to relationships? That's working against you. The more you do it, the more problems it'll cause you.

>>83834152
>you don't even get to do it then
Eh. On the one hand you're right, on the other hand once you're actually dating there's grounds for negotiation.
>I don't like this thing you do
At that point the ball's in his court: does he want to attempt to change something to make his partner happy?
For her to reee uncontrollably, yeah, not cool, but at that point she can give him fap material to work with of her self, or just fuck drain him herself so he doesn't need to fap, etc. They're adults they can come to an understanding about it.

>>83834147
>i dont know why this feels insulting, i wish it were the full truth lol
It feels insulting because it should be, albeit I'm not directly insulting -you-, just (what I believe to be) your behavior.
If I was to attempt to translate it to female, it would be something like "wow those dirty otaku are upset that that idol has a bf" (only that has other implications and it's not a good 1:1 analogy). If you're actually dating him or engaged or something then sure I'll admit my error in understanding.

>>83834147
>i dont understand why having sex is different from jerking your cock wishing you were the one having sex.
Sex has a much higher release of testosterone, vasopressin, and serotonin. It's a completely different hormonal profile / release.
>but anon! those are released during masturbation too!
Different levels + those are being fired at some level constantly anyway so it's not a 0 or 100 thing REEEEE.

Let me let you in on a little secret: you know what the guy would do without porn of any kind? Fap using his imagination.
Fapping != bonding and all other kinds of psyche BS.

>its that i couldnt be enough and that he tried to make me be more like them (online) and got tired of being unable to
At this point it's clear that there's other bullshit going on and it's not just "ree why do boys fap to porn?" which is what it kind of seemed like from the OP. And to be fair a LOT of women have this stance.

>>83834178
There are some select instances where a woman being insecure can work for her, but far too often it goes in a bad direction. I don't particularly like the overly confident seductive flirty type of women myself.
But yeah no (sane/good) man wants to watch his woman eat herself alive from the inside; for one we care about her and for two it's annoying because we know there's really nothing we can fucking do about it past a certain point.
>oh phew I finally calmed her down, let's just enjoy a nice restaurant meal and
>oh fuck
>the waitress is cute
>she's going to be seething about this later

>>83834177
>tfw not me

>>83834169
>Women just don't get it no matter how much you explain it to them.
I think there's things about the ways both sexes are that are like this. Like I said earlier, men and women are different, contrary to what contemporary politics will tell you. And I think this pretense that we're all the same has set a lot of people up for disappointment when they judge the other gender by their own standards instead of trying to understand how we differ.

>said that it was an utterly brutal black pill.
Yeah, see above. It's honestly difficult for me to conceptualize how this shit works for women. Like, do they actually only feel attraction for a single person at a time? Fictional images on a screen included? Does that mean that if you watch TV with put and she gets wet for the male lead, that she's no longer interested in you? That'd be the logical conclusion based on how they treat this porn stuff. And then there's their issues with stealing men from one another and wanting to trade up constantly. So what, a woman sees he best friend's chad husband at a party, and from then on she has zero attraction to her own husband and zero qualms about trying to convince chad to cheat on her friend with her? Thinking about shit like that feels like as brutal a blackpill for me as this porn/attraction compartmentalization must be for them. But then I'm like 'shit, it must be hard just randomly losing all your feelings for the man you've been married to for a decade just because you saw a fictional character on TV that you found attractive'.

>>83833326
Before I answer, you don't read literotica, right? Just want to make sure you're not a giant hypocrite.

Honestly could quit porn cold turkey but if I had to go a day without jerking to old friends fb or ig pics then I am killing myself

>>83834233
>Like, do they actually only feel attraction for a single person at a time?
Eh. This isn't that difficult for me to parse. As said earlier I can tell someone is attractive without being attracted TO them.
For one, I legitimately only find maybe 1/50 people attractive at all, and then of those I rarely ever feel anything beyond "yeah cute", no different than I would find a dog or cat cute. I recognize that I'm in the extreme minority in this, but it it's baffling to me how other men find so many women attractive. I would feel nauseated if I had to be intimate with most women I see (and of course, men as well).

>But then I'm like 'shit, it must be hard just randomly losing all your feelings for the man you've been married to for a decade just because you saw a fictional character on TV that you found attractive'.
haha... don't worry. they lose it pretty steadily it's not all at once.
Let's take a look at housewives for a second. They know you go to work to put the roof over their head, but when you're at home what they actually -see- is you not doing any of the chores, so it feels unfair to them (despite knowing you were at work 8 hours today). The thing is they don't -see- it though, so their rational minds just don't process it the same way. Most of the time anyway. There are some who can keep themselves aware of it.
This isn't so much a woman thing as a human thing, but yeah psychology is fucked, the less you understand the better for wanting to continue dealing with people and not just throwing in the towel due to disgust.
Cue old adage of "son, never try to understand women. women understand women, and they all hate each other".

Porn is highly addictive to guys but you shouldn't confuse it with actual sex or that you're not attractive. Guys don't want to be in a relationship with a whore. It hijacks peoples brains like a drug, it even causes a 'tolerance'/'chase the dragon' type effect where people will look for novelty, to satisy a kink and compulsive scrubbing though it to find a 'climax'. Women are freaks too with the smut books. Unfortunatly I don't see porn disapearing anytime soon but people are talking about the damage it can/has caused. I guy will try to quit if he's romantically interested in you if you tell him how you feel about it but it is harder to quit than you might assume.

>>83834369
>Guys dont want to be in a relationship with a whore
Speak for yourself

>>83834229
>oh phew I finally calmed her down, let's just enjoy a nice restaurant meal and
>oh fuck
>
>the waitress is cute
>she's going to be seething about this later
This isn't that far off what my girl was like when we met. She hid it from me for a few months and that definitely wasn't a healthy way to deal with it. For a while there it was hell. We'd sit down to watch a movie, there'd be a sex scene, and five minutes later she'd be freaking out and I'd be trying to explain to her that she was the one that picked the damn movie and I didn't star in or film the fucking thing. Like I'm a pretty supportive dude but even my patience has limits. Modern tv and cinema is built around sex selling and I'm not gonna have a fight and get blamed for the state of western culture every single time there's something risque on a screen.
I was basically ready to leave when she surprised me by showing some self-awareness, realizing the problem was coming from herself, not from me, and starting to actually work on it.
She's gotten so much better with it. But I know no matter how much I tell her how beautiful she is, no matter how supportive I am, I'm never gonna be able to make her see herself in the mirror the way I see her. Never gonna be able to make her feel like she's enough just the way she is. And even that's frustrating, because that's how she makes me feel most of the time, and she deserves to feel that way too.

>>83834281
>I can tell someone is attractive without being attracted TO them.
That is legitimately an incomprehensible, alien notion to me. I do not understand that statement. But my idea of beauty is entirely about what I personally find attractive and I couldn't give two fucks what anyone else thinks.
Maybe it's like how I feel about the women other guys seem to think are attractive. Like most celebrities like those kardashians are just unattractive to me. They're not ugly, they're just all generic, sameface, and bland to look at.

>>83833326
men are actually just that horny, the human race would have died out ages ago if we weren't and literal generations of your female ancestors basically selected for it in their partners
in the modern day if we didn't have porn we'd probably be living in a post-apocalypse and your romantic prospect would either be abducting you so you can dwell on the ethics of sexuality in between stockhom-syndrome inducing rape sessions, or he'd have his brains caved in by the guy doing it instead
but we have porn so you can have the luxury of moping around about it instead of actually doing it

>>83834388
>That is legitimately an incomprehensible, alien notion to me.
Oh fug you're one of those guys too.
Look, if I hold up some obese reddit moderator, you should be able to tell he's no brad pitt, right? You wouldn't put the two of them on the same level, right? It's like that, but more nuanced. Instead of just 1 or 10, you can tell the inbetweens. "Yeah, this guy is no ryan gosling, but then he's no reddit mod either. An inbetween." Etc. etc.

As to the rest of the stuff about your girl, you seem to already have a handle on, so I'll just say good luck instead of giving advice.
The only insecurity I had to deal with was a true poison pill. She considered herself too immature, and her yardstick was... me. I couldn't do anything to help because everything I did to try to help just made it worse for obvious reasons. Was a good learning experience though (and I hope she's doing better now).

>>83834385
I agree with him, but yeah it's good to remember there are some utter degenerates out there so thank (you). Only half way said sarcastically, it's actually good to remember different strokes out there.

>>83834385
You want to be in a relationship with a whore/pornstar?
Most guys find highbody counts repulsive. Having a gf who's good in bed is different, that comes from how attractive they percieve you.

>>83833326
I stopped watching porn for my foid. She told me she wouldn't date me if i watched porn so i stopped. now i only masturbate to her. i love her.

I personally dont think porn use is that big of a deal. its literally just a way for me to get a boner easier than if i dont use porn, although i think she also took offense to that because it means im just using the women, which i kind of agree with. However, they do sign up for that so i dont really agree with it being wrong. whatever is done between 2 consenting people is their buisness

>>83834474
>although i think she also took offense to that because it means im just using the women, which i kind of agree with.
A few ways to look at it.
Amateur, uploading it for fun: yeah that's fine to use, although unless she's making poses for the camera it's hard to tell if she's aware it's there, and even if she is, you don't know if it was for a private collection that was leaked or not.
For professional porn, most of those girls are druggies and other legitimate victimized girls, and even if they weren't, the entire idea of sex for money is extremely offputting to me. Like, imagine if your wife was in a bad spot in her youth and did something like that for money. Yeah, she consented to it, insofar as it was that or no food/rent.

Idk. I don't want to bring up religion but many better men than me have almost all agreed that it's immoral to produce as well as consume, so I I'll just direct you to your religion of choice's arguments for it.

I want to make an exception for 2d stuff since it's not victimizing anyone at all of course, but even then you should moderate it; not because porn bad but because simple addiction is still a thing and a LOT of men get sucked into it, which loops back around to the religion thing.

>>83833326
Just take care of all his sexual needs. Problem solved.

>>83834422
>Look, if I hold up some obese reddit moderator, you should be able to tell he's no brad pitt, right? You wouldn't put the two of them on the same level, right? It's like that, but more nuanced. Instead of just 1 or 10, you can tell the inbetweens. "Yeah, this guy is no ryan gosling, but then he's no reddit mod either. An inbetween." Etc. etc.
Not really. Obesity and muscle mass I can gauge, anything else gets kind of nebulous. Whenever I've been around other dudes ranking women they always get all 'what the fuck? You can't seriously think x is hotter than y, you're fucking with me' about whatever I say. But I am weird with faces, I struggle to recognise people I know well and see often if they change their dress sense or hairstyle. And I pay no attention to fashion so I have no idea what hair or clothes look good on people, only what appeals to me, which often isn't what appeals to everyone else.

>>83834426
If she were a literal whore or pornstar that would probably be too complicated I admit. Otherwise yes it is much better that a woman be easy, it does not make sense to me why Most Guys feel otherwise besides jealousy, envy, or insecurity. I can see how dating a slut could inspire those feelings, but they are transmuted and eroticised by fucking (and you can be insecure dating a virgin just as well).

I will say that this is totally fucked up in the event that she decides to make You wait because You are special, as opposed to all the other guys who werent so, erm, special. These girls arent real sluts they are headcases and are not the type I am talking about.

>>83834503
>But I am weird with faces, I struggle to recognise people I know well and see often if they change their dress sense or hairstyle.
Ah. Prosopagnosia. Face blindness. It's a neurological thing, roughly 2% of the population has it. In that case I'll spare you the effort of pasting ugly+attractive next to each other since I'm sure other people have probably tried to do something similar. But yeah that's a thing too.

>>83834515
>(and you can be insecure dating a virgin just as well).
Insecurity is largely an inexperience thing, though not always. My first gf and I were each other's firsts, and I was still insecure with her. When I saw her walking on campus with one of my friends (I was on a second story looking down at the campus walkway), I got a jealous feeling but I had previously put a strain on things by being too jealous.
Well, each and every one of my jealous feelings, including that one, was correct and that friend mentioned earlier tried to steal her from me. We broke up for later reasons, but jealousy is not always for an inconsequential reason. Fear can be valid, not in that they will leave, but in that they could be targeted and potentially bad things could happen.

I wouldn't be jealous today; if they want to leave they can leave. Why would I want to keep someone around who doesn't want to be with me.
This is all to say that while I've been on both sides, both extremes even, of the jealousy divide, the entire "oh yeah she was a slut that's hot let me transmute me that into sexual rage and unleash it onto her HOORAH" is... not something I would feel. If a girl was a slut I would still be disgusted. As I said earlier different strokes for different folks I guess.
SOMEONE has to date the sluts, you do your thing bro.

>>83834515
>the event that she decides to make You wait because You are special, as opposed to all the other guys who werent so, erm, special.
I wonder if the way we feel about this shit is the way women feel about porn?
>What's the big deal, those guys didn't mean anything, I want this to be special!
It seems like the same attitude. But that would also imply some pretty uncomfortable things about the way women view living people with the same lack of respect and same readiness to use them that men reserve for 2D images on a screen.

>>83834530
>Prosopagnosia.
You know, I spend so much time dumbing down and explaining things to people it honestly catches me off guard when someone already knows what I'm talking about.

Facial proportions are extremely important in sexual selection because it demonstrates:
1) injury as youth
2) lack of risk assessment
3) poor parenting

These are all genetic criteria that we filter mates by because if as a species we become unable to correctly assess risk, fail to care for our children or assess fitness of mates we're doomed to extinction. All these properties are part innate, part learned traits. You can make up for things a bit but will never entirely overcome poor parenting motivational imbalance or similar. So they are extremely RELIABLE measures to just a mate's genetic reproductive fitness.

>>83834655
Facial proportions are important, yes, but for none of the reasons you mentioned as none of those are aspects of genetic fitness lmao. Except possibly risk assessment but there are other compounding / mitigating factors there.
>injury as youth
Sorry Johnny, that punch to the face you took makes you no longer genetically fit to date, try again next character reroll.

I agree with the spirit of what you said just none of the words used kek.

>>83834564
Hmm, you seem to have surmised exclusively incorrect facts about me and my positions on all these matters. That is itself interesting.

>just
*judge

Physical fitness is also a core criterion, but you may not realize that for example genetic adaptation to starvation means weight gain is easier. Obese people are actually better at handling starvation, whereas people like me (who remains fit and high metabolism regardless of diet) evolved in a plentiful environment where starvation was never an issue. The upper-class of humanity gets filtered out via preferences for higher body mass despite inefficiency. This is because running at below peak efficiency will not matter when it's a 12% efficiency difference but you're starving. Lasting >12% longer from extra fat and muscle tissue will beat someone who is merely 12% more efficient (using -12% as much fuel/nutrients) when starvation sets in. I would survive far longer in a situation where resources were consistently reduced, but I would not survive as long as an obese person in temporary droughts or other environmental conditions.

The assumption our genetics make is that this is a net benefit (obesity) whereas in reality we're going to need to use net lower resources to survive global warming unless we can find a way out. This sort of event doesn't occur in our history often enough to make it outweigh (heh) the benefits of excessive tissues.

>>83834679
>kek.
kekeke, emergent from South Korean Star Craft players in 1997. Developed as part of Blizzard's World of Warcraft MMORPG as an in-group meme to translate Ork race player chat to human/elf where "LOL" = "KEK".

I'm sure low IQ is useful too in our genetic history, but in the future it won't be and your kind will die.

>>83834689
I mean, I didn't really say much about you in that post, that was mostly about me with a one off hyperbole. To actually address your (unasked) question in your post as to why men don't want to date "easy" women, without labeling it as jealousy, insecurity, or envy, the first thing I would have to point towards is possessiveness. Memories and the past remains. I would absolutely hate it if someone could truthfully say "oh, anon's wife? yeah she's a good fuck, I see why he married her" or something to that effect. If she's mine, I don't want anyone else to have her, and that includes past encounters as well.

Jealousy is the fear of losing something, envy is the desire for something someone else has, and insecurity is the fear of not being good enough while not necessary fearing losing the relationship/woman in question. It could be something akin to not wanting to be laughed at, etc. As such said possessiveness above isn't in one of those categories.
You could perhaps be wanting to not deal with past baggage. A lot of people, men and women, have messy lives to deal with because of their past.
Virgin men obviously would have a higher rate of wanting virgin women to mutually discover "love" and "lust" with.
And of course people bond more with their first partner, if only because there's no other comparison. (There's more to it but I'll keep it brief in this post).

>>83834734
>as to why men don't want to date "easy" women

Rarity instills faith of value in us, which is flawed. The true value of an object is emergent from the cost to acquire that object and not its rarity. Value per se is a subjective phenomena with no basis whatsoever in reality.

Despite the generalization you're making I can agree in part, that a person who exemplifies a lack of value for themselves takes on the appearance of less valuable to others. Little do you know I'm a billionaire. I consider my own IQ below the baseline of any standard for intelligence.

>>83834696
Congratulations on being aware of the origin of the phrase? You failed to make the bridge as to why that is low IQ however.
>Haha you are familiar with this cultural jargon!
How dare you use internet vernacular! That assuredly condemns you to the lowest of IQs!
wwww is japanese and haha is chinese, what's your point, that it wasn't the american lol?

>>83834745
>Rarity instills faith of value in us, which is flawed.
That is right. But I can tell you are more of a Fluttershy guy and I go for Pinkie Pie. That is what we come to in the final analysis.

>>83834745
>Rarity instills faith of value in us, which is flawed.
This I can agree with.
>The true value of an object is emergent from the cost to acquire that object and not its rarity.
This I do not. And I can dispute it very easily, If you acquire and ounce of gold for $5 USD, is its worth $5 USD or near $5k USD?
Sure its value may have been subjective in the sense that it was traded for $5 a mere minute ago for you to obtain it and $5k a minute from now if you try to sell it, but that does not change that there's a generally agreed upon (market) value. Yes I know water is priceless when faced with dehydration and etc.

I want to agree with the spirit of what I believe you're saying. If a whore could make a man the happiest, then she's the most high value woman to him regardless of what she was in the past. However, the quirks of human psychology mean that most men will be happier with virgins, who will also have less mental baggage. As your own logic would dictate, if the man is happier with the woman being a virgin, with all other things equal, then the virgin necessarily has higher value to him.

> Little do you know I'm a billionaire.
Congrats?

>I consider my own IQ below the baseline of any standard for intelligence.
On this point we agree.
Not to simply leave it there and appear smarmy, I am referencing my own. I have met many more people more intelligent than myself. Were I to attempt a small boast, I am at least able to recognize it, something of which many fail to do.

>>83834772
>you are more of a Fluttershy guy and I go for Pinkie Pie
uhhhh
what

>>83834785
>And I can dispute it very easily,
The mud-pie argument is defunct. For example a mud-pie is expensive to create but has no practical value and no demand, therefore its value is not represented in merely its cost to acquire, right?

Yet mix some straw and bake the pie and you get mud bricks, which are widely used for construction and have practical applications.

The mud-pie was merely an intermediary. The cost to produce it must be less in terms of energy investiture than can be saved due to its performance for the task it is applied.

Gold is worthless except for a few rare functional applications. It is solely defined according to subjective value rather than practical energy investiture.

It is also easy to defeat the argument that value is solely subjective by simply adopting the axiom: assume no subject.

Now we're discussing physical reality and physics, not subjectives.

When it comes to how humans emotionally react to their subjective interpretations or perspective and aspect upon an assumed objective reality, now we're entirely in the world of subjective imagination and detached entirely from reality itself.

How much is the gold "worth" ? It has no worth apart from whatever energy was used to acquire it. What matters is how you use it, which is subjective.

I personally would like to ejaculate golden glitter glizz.

>>83833326
Realize that not everything revolves around you? If you're not a virgin or have friends of the opposite sex, your "romantic prospect" has a million times more just cause to be neurotic and insecure.
You can directly ask them to stop watching it, but keep in mind that you're asking them to miss out on a lot of dopamine for nothing, and they'll either keep jerking off in secret or they'll suffer chemical depression.

>>83834147
>i dont understand why having sex is different from jerking your cock wishing you were the one having sex.
There is no prospect of you getting cucked by the porn actresses, there is no risk of disease, there is no physical reality to it whatsoever.
>its not that he has seen more beautiful in the past, its not that his eyes arent virginal, its that i couldnt be enough and that he tried to make me be more like them (online) and got tired of being unable to
Enough for what? To be the only sexually attractive woman on earth?

OP are you prepared to give sex to your partner whenever they need it? No? Well if you tell them "no", they still need it and you can't shit on them for getting it themselves.
>inb4 they should have discipline
You're ignoring the fact that sex is a need, not a want.

>>83833326
>my biggest issue is that i cant be as good as any of them (yes, out of millions) in any capacity
Well try harder then. You can be a miserable downer who can't be bothered to take a shower, or you can be a stylish and cool. Men like style and "aura" as kids say. The difference between a very hot girl and a mid girl isn't very big when you strip them both of personality and style.

>why anyone would ever try to engage with me sexually
Men will fuck anyone and enjoy it.

>i really wish i were pretty enough to be a slut like every guy wants
Most guys don't want slut and instead want a good girl they can spoil into a slut in private.

At the end of the day though, just find a guy who'll commit to not watching porn if you're so mental about it. Men get pussywhipped way harder than that and still take it.