this looks like shit

>>97875972
give him a group blowjob

>>97875972
I hit him with my sword

>>97875972
Tell him the eunuchs cancelled, but that you’ll be glad to perform a play.

>>97875972
>he's in charge because he's far too powerful for mere common adventurers to harm.
Shit design

>>97875972
How many fucking threads are you gonna make?

>>97876098
This is my only thread.

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>>97876121
No, it isn't. Your posting style is distinct enough to be recognisable.

>>97875972
Kill yourself puckee

>>97876121
Puckee, you know that we can reverse image search and see that you posted this on reddit?

>>97875972
>Previous thread somehow gets pruned by jannies (probably by accident)
>Instantly makes another

>>97876312
He's got at least 10 threads up right now. We will all get pruned and banned for pointing this out.

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>puckee thread

>>97875994
You die.

>>97878487
Railroading.

>>97875972
Slay him. We are likely there to assasinate the tyrant.

I challenge him a go-kart race down Dead Man's Curve...

FOR HIS SOUL.

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The local lord's army boasts thousands of men-at-arms in full harness and experienced scouts and trackers. Each is a battle-tested veteran of years of war.

What makes your party of "adventurers" so arrogant as to think themselves more capable of defending the fief than even a diminutive fraction of these forces? A "dungeon," you say? The local lord can send a score of these loyal men, a mere drop in the pond, and they will brute force this "dungeon" with ease. Many are trained to battle on foot.

We've actually once reenacted the play subplot from Hamlet. The DM really appreciated the reference, the king not so much.

>>97875972
>Party plays our favorite game of "high score".
>The king is worth 100 points.
>There probably won't be a kingdom left by the end of the session
>that whole bloodline most certainly won't exist after the session

Our games are about killing fun exotic things in strange locations in creative ways.
While we haven't killed a whole kingdom we are certainty game to try.
I mean a few months ago we ambushed Death and beat the shit out of him to get a revival of a NPC we liked.
Some dumbass with a crown can't stop us.

Who the fuck actively antagonizes armed mercenaries?
Obviously we kill him.

>>97875972
>puckee spamming his commission again
https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/x6ywyc/king_philip_v_of_caduvia_campaign_npc_commission/
https://desuarchive.org/_/search/image/LyShG8cuLH6vuHGGEoIsdg/
>59 times since September 2022

>>97878675
He effortlessly solos the party. Do you think he'd still be king if some crude wizard fresh out of college could kill him? Or a stinking barbarian dressed in pelts? Ha!

>>97875972
I drop my pants and show him my dick.

>>97880291
If a single mortal can not solo a party that has already killed a avatar of a evil god.
The king is super dead and our necromancer is probably playing with the corpse.

>>97880298
He laughs, well done.

>>97880291
By the Medieval era, most kings come to power via birth and inheritance, not martial prowess. They stay in power due to bureaucratic inertia and the feudal power structure wanting to keep the status quo intact out of their own selfish interests. It is very likely that the King as an individual is a physically & magically normal/weak person, while his INT can either be very high (backstabbing schemer) or low (inbred retard figurehead). Since he is treating potentially violent murderhobos like court jesters, I am leaning towards the latter.

So, I'll humor him and get our mage to do simple party tricks and then start formenting rebellion in his Kingdom out of spite by financing one of his Dukes with my hoard of gold. Once the rebellion starts, I leave the Kingdom, laughing my ass off.

>>97883219
This sin't a historical game, that's irrelevant.