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Ongoing Stories:
>Transformed Into a Lucario
https://pastebin.com/dNfCG4se
>Herding Cats
https://rentry.org/HerdingCats
>Copanon the PokeWhisperer and other stories
https://rentry.co/PolicemanPokemonStory
>Super Macho Mon
https://rentry.co/MachampStory
>Professor Decidueye by ProfD
https://rentry.co/ProfD
>VetPhox
https://rentry.co/DelphoxStory
>Serpent and Wyrm by Snivyanon
https://rentry.co/SerpentAndWyrm
>A Loser and a Very Lost Snowpix by Drifteranon
https://rentry.org/tcab223e
>The New Police Animals by Snivyanon
https://rentry.co/larsonkurt
>Kartanimator
https://rentry.co/kartanimator
>The Pokemon Pit by ProfD
https://rentry.co/r7aa9bzy
>Churchanon
https://rentry.org/cb24k1ti
>Swiss Army Mienshao
https://rentry.co/whipping-back-into-action/
>The Human Wimpod Evolved
https://rentry.co/GolisopodStory
>Sandslash and Ms. Gemstone
https://rentry.co/h62h6eh7e
>Drifteranon's one-shots
https://pastebin.com/4K9M6uJ2
>Other one-shots
https://pastebin.com/UtXMsyyD
>One-shots that were too spicy for pastebin
https://rentry.co/wokeuponeshots

Archived stories:
>0332
https://pastebin.com/WMdqhP8H
>Digigirl
https://pastebin.com/rvUJh1Vd
>Tinkanon
https://rentry.co/TinkatonStory
>Not a Pikachu
https://rentry.co/notapikachu
>Lopunanon
https://pastebin.com/ecBem3sz

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>>58841105
Ninja'd me by eight seconds, lol

Missing the FAQ, but nevermind.

>>58841105
>>58841166
>FAQ
>What is this?
People are turning into Pokemon. Some are having the time of their lives, and some are struggling to survive. These are their stories.
>How do I join?
Just start posting.
>What's the lore?
People and animals (and at least one tree) are changing at random in their sleep, waking up still in the real world, but now as Pokemon, and nobody knows why (that includes you. Please don't try to explain it). Just enough transformations are occurring to notably change day-to-day life without collapsing civilization. This is not the apocalypse, even if it might feel like it to some characters in the moment. Some people are more in touch with their instincts than others, and some have lost more of their humanity than others. That's about it. Avoid legendaries if possible

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>>58841169
DAMMIT
I REALLY THOUGHT I GOT IT ALL RIGHT THIS TIME

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>>58841180
At this point it’s tradition!

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Here is the “coda” to the last ProfD update.
>That was a bad day.
>Were you paralyzed with fear, or just fooling yourself into thinking that it didn’t happen if you didn’t move?
>It must have been at least a day in self isolation just trying to sort your own thoughts
>Sifting through memories and picking out intrusive ideas that didn’t fit with the rest, and reasoning with yourself to dispel them
>There’s a classic psychology experiment where they surveyed a group of people about their life experiences
>One of the questions is an imposter, referring to an event that never happened to them like going on a hot air balloon ride
>Around 60% not only claimed to remember the event but would invent details about the event to describe it more vividly
>For you, all of that was happening as you tried to figure out how to walk and talk and grab things
>The rest, as they say, is history
>But now is the time to look forward
>You got through the first semester as a Decidueye
>With the new semester coming up, it was time to move forward, not just get by
>There was a growing pile of requests from graduate research teams asking for you that you couldn’t ignore much longer
>There was your usual course load to teach
>There was your research and the question of going on your own or joining a peer project to try to gain some authorship credits
>There’s that mathematics educators conference in Las that the department was willing to pay for you to attend
>And finally, there was your personal development
>Your one year anniversary of being changed was coming up and you had yet to so much as glide, let alone take flight
>These things take time, but deep down, you really did want to try to fly, even if it scared the rational part of your mind
>Oh? An email?
>”Notice of assignment”
>”per your voluntary acceptance in the previous year”
>iCourse? As in online?
>As in recorded and reused for years?
>One more thing for the list. Guess you get to be a video star now.

>>58841679
The Professor arranged to teach online courses with recorded lectures? Those are gonna be a hit. Or at least the first one is going to get a grossly disproportionate audience and then tail off rapidly once the novelty guys are out.

>>58842285
Imagine browsing the MIT Open Course Ware catalog and right next to a VHS quality video of a man crossing out the words Computer Science, you see a human sized owl in a bowtie explaining how to find the gradient vector.

>>58842447
You understand it perfectly, kek

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I am deeply upset that I did not get to posting this last thread, but that's what I get for not working on my chapter in over 15 days.
For context, this skips ahead a bit to the first day of his first contract, because I couldn't figure out what to put in the town.

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>>58841679
Yeah I can understand taking a long period of time sorting through your own head in this situation, especially considering he’s dealing with those false memories. Lots of interesting plot points to go from here! I’d be interested in basically all of these things Sean listed. Also sounds like there might be an opportunity to visit Vegas? Will we get a Pokemon Pit crossover episode? That’d be cool. Also things about to be the most popular online math course in the history of online schooling lol.

>>58843064
Liking what I’m reading, don’t really understand coding but this was easy enough to follow. Poor elephant! I like little news bits like that, helps flesh out the world.

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>You heard rustling from behind.
>You didn't know what she was doing, and you were too consumed by your own thoughts to even look above the couch.
>She returned wearing her swimsuit and bearing a roll of duct tape.
>"Uhm... What are you doing?" you asked her in a moment of clarity and confusion.
>"Taping the power sockets off," she replied to you like it was something normal to do.
>Did she think you were suicidal?
>At least she didn't want to see you dead, which was a plus.
>"Why are you taping them off?" you forced out another question.
>"Because you are the perfect height to accidentally shove your tail into one of them on accident," she replied while taping off another power socket.
>You were once more in a state of brain paralysis, trying to discern if she at that moment said the truth or if she was sugarcoating her own thought process.
>"Aaand all done..." you heard her say it from the room over.
>In the time you were overthinking everything again, she managed to go through the entire house and tape everything shut.
>She returned and sat next to you with a small plastic bag.
>Before your brain could ruminate over its purpose, she put the TV remote in it, sucked out all the air, and tied it shut.
>"Here you go. Something to help you keep your sanity while I'm gone," she said to you caringly.
>You didn't know what to make of it.
>"Can I ask you some questions? Are you OK with that?" she asked calmly and a bit timidly.
>"Why are you even asking?" you replied with a question of your own, as her question felt off and out of character for her.
>"Because I want you to ask some diagnostic questions, and I want to make sure you are comfortable with me asking them," she continued with that same tone.
>"What type of questions are those?" you asked, feeling yourself shake.
>"For Retrograde PIPS. Just some questions from your past. I ask a question, and you reply with the first thing that comes to your mind. Would you be OK with that?" she said before asking again.

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>>58844070
Cool to see more of this! Yeah toddler proofing the outlets is probably a good call, especially if the person living there can literally turn into water and they can’t quite control that yet. She is surprisingly ready for this situation. I know you mentioned that she’s been helping out with other turnees in a previous post, but it’s neat to see someone prepared to deal with the situation. And now time to see how bad the instincts have changed up his noggin. Roll the PIPS wheel!

>>58844613
If she wanted to be extra sure she should seal the outlet covers to the wall. There's usually bare copper inside that can be shorted.

>>58844070
Waterproofing the sockets is really smart, I would have never thought of that until I’d already been cooked.

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>>58844070
>"I guess... You are the expert here..." you replied, not exactly knowing how.
>"Great. I'm gonna do the preliminary version. 10 questions. Answer them with the first thing that comes to your mind. Got it?" she explained.
>"Yes..." you reluctantly replied.
>"Ok. First question. What is your father's eye color?"
>"Green."
>"And your mother's hair color?
>"Black."
>"Your father's height?"
>"6 feet."
>"And your mother's skin color?"
>"White."
>"Where was our 3rd date?"
>"Beach."
>"Roughly how wide were the corridors in your high school before you graduated?"
>"12 feet. I think."
>"What am I to you?"
>"Girlfriend."
>"Parents and siblings?"
>"Family."
>"Your favorite food?"
>"Pepperoni Pizza."
>"What color were the walls at your old place?
>"White."
>That deluge of questions was tiring to you.
>If this was the preliminary version, you feared what the real one would look like.
>"So you scored a nice round zero on this test," she replied.
>"Is it good or bad?" you muttered out.
>"Oh it is the best score I've seen to this point. Even if it is the preliminary version. Turnees usually get a minimum of one or two points on this," she replied with some satisfaction in her tone.
>"What was this test even supposed to test?" you asked her.
>"It tests if your memories have been altered. I picked some random things I remembered about you or what your parents told me about you to compare," she explained.
>"So... Am I all clear in those regards?" you asked with some concern.
>"No. I might have just gotten unlucky and picked all the memories that weren't altered. Like I said, the lowest scores usually hover around one or two while you got zero," she explained.
>"So now what?"
>"We'll repeat the test tomorrow just in case. But if you remember something that feels off to you, just tell me. The score will be raised by one in that case, but I'll at least have a reference point," she explained calmly.

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>>58843064
I like the details of the contract work, but you honestly lost me with the details and the debugging process – and I'm saying this as a programmer. I'm in favour of keeping it, but a few more allegories wouldn't hurt. Make us *feel* the frustrating debugging process, you know? I want to feel angry at the developer too!

>[...] leaning back to look up at the ceiling. The pockmarks in the ceiling were [...]
Double mention of ceiling reads weird.

>5th paragraph
I had to read the sentence with the headphone jack three times to understand it. Dunno if its just my mind refusing to work or if that sentence could be split up for a better flow.

>Last paragraph
Poor elephant indeed...
It was a nice addition to loosen up the tension from debugging.
>producing Raichu rubber
They're producing what?
>electrocuting it to death
I've yet to see someone survive an electrocution.
"to death" can be removed, as electrocute already means "to kill with electricity".

>>58844070
Hey, our Milkeon with the keeper gf is back!
And she immediately proofs to us again that she is, in fact, a keeper gf. Very wholesome read—good job, Anon!
>>58845821
Cursed image...
Interesting that she checks for retrograde PIPS first, instead of the more immediate danger of anterograde PIPS. I do like the approach with the questions though, however the questionnaire would be standardised for a scoring like this. It doesn't really feel like a scientific thing to do – way too open ended. But I'm neither a doctor, nor a therapist, so fuck if I know.
I guess it could be a help for situations like here, without actual medical merit, but just to help freshly turned people get a quick sanity check before they take the real test/examination at an actual facility.

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>>58846216
>I've yet to see someone survive an electrocution
>injure OR kill someone by electric shock.
A lightning strike is an electrocution, but it is very much survivable.

>Raichu rubber
Any excuse to post this.

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Man, just... Imagine this but in the Pokemon world.
You've gotta worry about your Wii being shattered by a Ariados.

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>>58847399
Lotta bug pokemon wouldn't make it, not gonna lie.
I'd start blasting.

>>58847561
.50 caliber salt gun
>>58847399
My skin is crawling

>>58847399
This is vile and I really dislike you for posting it

>>58841679
Very interesting perspective on PIPS.

>>58843064
Great to see you starting to make progress again.

"that this website was working at all" would be better as "that it was working at al".

I thought the process was fairly followable as Snivy said.

"The pockmarks in the ceiling" would be better as "the pockmarks up there". The thought of him drawing the logic web in the ceiling seems to cut off before reaching its natural conclusion.

"like a gavel the windows key" -> "like a gavel on the windows key"

"when I'm surrounded" -> "when I was surrounded"

I'd re-write the run-on part of paragraph five something like this:

"I couldn't watch YouTube clips because of where I was, and my lack of earbuds. Not that it would've mattered if I'd had earbuds, because my phone also lacked a headphone jack - something I still found intensely galling. At least I could read the text articles."

"on India" -> "in India"

I too am uncertain what Raichu rubber is supposed to be.

"Well, I guess" would be better as just "Well," to remove the redundant "I guess".

I agree with Snivy it's good to have the reality of the new world seep in frequently like this even when Val is lost in his own little worlds. This is particularly important if you're going to go into great detail about his projects and not just montage them.

>>58845821
Guess you took my advice. Good to see you post again Copanon.

Much ado has already been made about the autist and his wrangler having a good dynamic. I agree with Meinsha that one has to presume a more standardized version of this questionnaire exists for professional use. It's not a horrible approach in any event, although sourcing all the needed personal history to make it work might be tricky in many cases. Interesting also that our boy seems to be very instinct-low so far, similar to the PokePit crew. it'll be interesting to see whether that continues. Also seems like we're taking the concept in a more serious direction from its initial shitposty feel, which is probably for the best to be honest.

>>58847399
Keep in mind that bug Pokemon are enormous (and thusly energy and resource intensive) compared with actual bugs. Between that and how Pokemon reproduction is presented in the games and anime, they likely reproduce far slower than real life bugs do.

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>>58845821
Is your hand your hand?
Do you remember the face of your mother?

A big fat zero huh? No false memories or instincts (that we know of so far based on this very brief exam). Maybe there’s something about eeveelutions and having clear heads, given our large sample size of two so far!

>>58847399
This but a horrible scrabbling mass of Joltiks.

Also this is awful lmao.

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>Emma was in the middle of the perfect post-shift nap until it was ruined by a loud THUD that vibrated through the floorboards.
>Emma jolted awake, her large ears snapping upright. She groaned and peeled one eye open to squint at her phone.
>She tapped into the doorbell camera feed just in time to see the back of a brown delivery uniform disappearing down the hallway.
>A delivery? She wasn’t expecting anything. She hadn't ordered anything since that bulk box of fabrics last week.
>The Espeon sighed as she sat up on the couch, stretching her front legs forward and arching her back until her spine popped in three distinct places.
>She considered ignoring it and going back to sleep, but the building had developed a bit of a "porch pirate" problem recently.
>A local Murkrow had figured out that cardboard boxes often contained shiny things, or better yet, food, and had been wreaking havoc for the past few days.
>If she left it out there, it would likely be confetti by dinner time.
>With a grumble, Emma rolled off the couch and trotted to the door. The gem on her forehead pulsed with a faint, violet light, and the deadbolt turned with a click before the door swung open.
>The package sitting on her doormat was heavy, featureless, and emitted a dull clunk when she nudged it with her nose.
>Definitely not for her.
>The label, printed in aggressive bold font, read: CONNOR HOPKINS - APT 1498.
>Emma’s whiskers twitched. Apartment 1498 was across the hall and two doors down. She knew Connor only vaguely. Mostly just exchanged pleasantries if they passed each other in the hall. Seemed like a nice enough guy though.
>Come to think of it, she hadn’t seen him at all since the transformations started sweeping through the city, even as a ‘mon. She had assumed he moved out, or perhaps holed up with family.
>But apparently, he was still here, ordering… Whatever this is.
>"Well," Emma muttered to herself. "Duty calls."

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>>58849024
>She reached out with her mind, wrapping the heavy box in a blue telekinetic aura. It lifted lazily into the air, floating just behind her right shoulder as she stepped into the hallway.
>Her split tail swayed gently as she padded down the carpeted corridor, the ceiling lights humming overhead, and her nose twitched at the stale air of the hall.
>She reached 1498 and set the package down on the welcome mat before giving the doorbell a poke.
>There was a thud, the sound of scrambling claws on laminate flooring, and then the distinct crash of something ceramic shattering.
>Emma blinked, her ears swiveling forward. “Uh…” She waited with a hint of growing concern.
>Locks tumbled. One, two, three of them. The door cracked open a scant two inches, stopped by a chain, allowing a sliver of hallway light to pierce the gloom of the unlit apartment.
>A long, striped snout poked out. Two beady, dark blue eyes peered at her from the shadows, wide with terror and scanning left and right before settling downward onto the purple cat sitting by the mat.
>"Hello?" Emma started, putting on a friendly voice. "I think the-”
>”Oh. You. What do YOU want?” the Linoone hissed with enough venom to break the lethal dose world record, his eyes narrowing on Emma.
>Emma’s ears flattened against her skull. She leaned back, physically recoiling from the sheer intensity of the hostility.
>"Uh, sorry," she stammered, tilting her head. "Is that you, Connor? I haven't seen you in forever. When did you turn?"
>His snout wrinkled, baring sharp little teeth. "What, not just plucking the answer straight from my skull? What do you want, Mind-Witch? Hmm? Here to steal my package since you haven’t managed to steal my free will yet?" he spat.
>"What in the world? No!" Emma exclaimed, the accusation so absurd she almost laughed. "I was just returning it! Delivery guy dropped it at my place by accident. I just wanted to make sure you got it because, you know, the package thefts..."

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>>58849032
>"Likely story," Connor sneered. He shifted in the darkness, his long, badger-like body moving with a jerky uncoordination.
>"Any more lies you want to spin? Gonna start rewriting my memories to make me believe what you want? That's all you and your kind do. You lie, and you steal, and you make people your personal meat-puppets. You things shouldn't exist. You violate the sanctity of the self just by breathing."
>Emma sat frozen on the welcome mat. She’d heard stuff like this before, online mostly, but hearing it face-to-face with a neighbor she’d never wronged?
>It stung. It stung a lot more than she wanted to admit.
>"I'm not doing any of that, Connor, I can’t even do any of that!" she said, her voice trembling slightly. "All I have is basic telekinesis. I’m barely even a proper Pokemon!"
>”Liar,” he hissed. “We know your true nature. What? Haven’t noticed everyone here avoiding you like the plague you are?”
>Avoiding? No, she didn’t notice anything like that? People here were still polite like usual to her. Did… Did they really think that about her?
>He began to scrabble at the door chain, his new paws clumsy and unsuited for fine motor skills. Claws scraped against metal for a solid ten seconds before he managed to slide it free.
>He shoved the door open, but only halfway, using his own long body to block the gap.
>He looked terrible. His fur was matted and unkempt, sticking up in tufts as if he hadn't groomed in weeks.
>"Don't think I don't know what you did," he growled.
>Emma took a step back, her tail curling around her paws defensively. "What I did? What the hell are you talking about?"
>"THIS!" Connor shouted. He reared back on his haunches, gesturing wildly to his own body with a trembling claw.
>”I did everything right! I followed the instructions perfectly! I was supposed to be a dark-type! I was supposed to be safe from YOU!” the Linoone shouted, baring his fangs.

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>>58849036
>He slammed his front paws back onto the floor, his eyes wild.
>"But no," he whispered, the sound vibrating. "You interfered, didn't you? You sensed a threat. You knew I was trying to shield my mind, building a fortress you couldn't penetrate. Couldn’t bear that happening in your territory, huh?! You reached out while I was turning and you… Grah!"
>He gnashed his teeth, spit flying from his jowls.
>"You messed it up! You sabotaged it! You made sure I came out as the normal-type! Vulnerable. Weak. Just another puppet to control. You wanted me under your thumb, just like you did those two cops!"
>Emma stared at him, stunned into silence. At this point her mind was screaming at her to get away from this lunatic, but she couldn’t move.
>“Connor, that's… that is insane," she said, finding her voice. "Those two are my friends. I’m not mind-controlling them! You really tried to turn into a dark-type because of me? I don’t- You can’t even influence it! You’re what you turned into because that’s just what happened!”
>”I don’t believe you. No one in their right mind would be ‘friends’ with a mind-slaver unless they were compromised,” he spat. “You ruined my god damn life.”
>He lunged forward to grab the package, his movements jerky. He hooked his claws into the cardboard, dragging it violently across the threshold, nearly tripping over his own feet in the process.
>"You wanted a victim, not a rival," he panted, wrestling the heavy box inside. "You want to keep us all open, all exposed, so you can pick through our heads whenever you got bored."
>"I haven't done anything! I can't even read minds! I'm just trying to be a good neighbor and give you your stuff. I’m just-," Emma pleaded, her frustration mounting.
>”Just a freak,” Connor interrupted.

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>>58849043
>He shoved the box inside with his shoulder, breathing hard. He turned back to look at her one last time.
>His expression wasn't just angry anymore; it was filled with a profound pity. As if he couldn’t help but feel sorry for the monster under the bed she had become.
>“Don’t pretend you have feelings. You gave those up when you became… that. Stay away from me. If I catch you snooping around here, or probing my head, you’ll regret it,” he said coldly.
>"Wha- Are you threatening me!?" Emma stood up, her fur bristling. "Look, I’m sorry for whatever you think I did. I really am! But I’m not some evil mastermind plotting to take over the world. That’s ridiculous!"
>She let out a long, frustrated sigh, her ears drooping. The fight drained out of her.
>"I was just trying to be helpful," she murmured, looking down at the carpet.
>Connor sneered down at the little purple cat. “You wanna be helpful? Want to do good by everyone who lives here? Fuck off and kill yourself.”
>He slammed the door shut. The locks clicked back into place, sealing him away from the monster.
>Emma sat alone in the hallway. The stale air grew oppressive, heavy with the weight of his words.
>She stared at the wood grain of the door for a long time. She took a deep breath, holding it until her lungs burned, and let it out slowly, trying to shake the cold feeling in her chest.
>The fluorescent lights buzzing above were deafening.

>>58849046
Wow, I felt that harder than I probably should have. Poor Emma needs a hug right now. :(
However, I think she got off relatively lightly. In my unfortunate encounters with such people, they are usually much more personal and heinous with their words once they explode... It's probably better that they only knew each other fleetingly.
I wonder what Connor tried in order to turn into a dark type. How many pentagrams did he draw? And what a cruel turn of events that he turned into a Linoone of all possible normal types. So close to Galarian Linoone, it's not even funny. Probably another reason why he is so spiteful.

>>58849046
Jesus, dude.

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>>58849046
Holy smokes. I may be the resident anti-Psychic guy but I’d never tell someone to kys. If anything, I’d try to avoid contact with her as much as possible. Excellent work. Writing a character that people hate can be just as hard as writing one people love.

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>”No! Absolutely not!” The zoroark yelled.
>Catching himself, the engineer lowered his tone.
>”Okay, I, I-“
>You sat opposite him at the picnic table.
>“How did you even find me!?” Hal angrily whispered.
>He picked up his sandwich wrap again.
>It survived the startling.
>Battered and squashed from the plunge, but held intact.
>He looked over his shoulders.
>His manic, insane expression would have been right at home in a horror movie.
“C’mon.” You answered.
>Tilting your head, you tapped the aura sensors dangling to your collarbones.
>He knew what lucario were capable of.
>He sought you out for it.
>He also had no idea how much a zoroark’s unique aura stood out.
>Disguises didn’t help.
>You also knew his son hid in his mane, but you kept that to yourself.
>”I’m.”
>”Working.” Hal stated, as if you couldn’t tell.
“You’re on lunch break.” You retorted.
“And relax, no one’s coming. I can tell.
>Your reassurance meant little.
>Hyper-alert eyes darted back and forth.
>Without bothering to explain, he rechecked the area.
>You tapped and scratched the faded picnic table until he was comfortable enough to sit back down.
>Hal considered scampering back to his truck.
>It wouldn’t help him get away.
>You knew where he lived, after all.
“We’re alone.” You assured him again.
>Everything he’d done was correct.
>He’d parked out of sight and gotten a secluded, hidden table.
>The only randomness he couldn’t account for was you.
>It didn’t put him at ease.
>In the blink of an eye, you changed.
>Startled, you examined the alien illusion.
“Woah…”
>It was bizarre being “human” again.
>Wrong skin tone, but you saw fingers instead of paws.
>Seemed you were now a young, generic contractor.
>The neon safety vest even moved when you patted your chest.
“Nice work…” You complimented, toying with the illusion.
>The highly strung engineer gingerly sat back down.
>”Don’t move much. Still not great at it.” Hal reminded you.

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>>58850416
>Might as well get the hard part out of the way.
>Letting out a long sigh, you looked directly at Hal.
“Sorry.” You blurted, eager to smooth things over.
“Didn’t know it’d make you all, uh… twitchy.” You added.
>”Which is precisely why…” Hal chastised, pausing to bite his wrap.
>Ham and turkey.
>Swiss cheese.
>Dijon mustard.
>Your nose was as good as your aura reading.
>”We should share numbers.”
>The pit in your gut was instant.
>”Use code words.”
>You watched a distant squirrel climb higher, until impossible to see.
“I really…”
>Hal kept going.
>”Keep things discrete.”
“Still no.”
>Hal took another bite and shook his head.
>”Mmmkay… Thought I was the paranoid one.”
“I don’t wanna be tracked or, you know, whatever.”
>”Okay, please, spare me.” Hal rolled his illusory eyes. “We gave up privacy years ago.”
>”If you cared about laying low you wouldn’t do what you’re doing.”
>You huffed.
>Hal chewed.
>”This is the second time you wanted to see me, and you just popped up.”
>”C’mon, okay? You know a phone’d be better.”
“Yeah, yeah…” You grumbled, deep and annoyed.
>You’d already given him so much leverage.
>He was too intelligent not to know it.
>”Surprise me again and I’m not helping with-“
>”Papa!” A tiny voice interrupted.
>Hal’s eyes widened.
>You chuckled.
>Saved you from getting chewed out.
>”Papa.” The voice repeated.
>A tuft of red-gray hair broke Hal’s illusion, popping out atop his head.
>A tiny head, speckled with crimson dots and teal eyes, wiggled out.
>”Food.” The little zorua impatiently commanded.
“Heya, Harry.” You said, waving to the grade-schooler.
>Seafoam eyes stared back.
>Wide and unblinking
>Slowly, you stopped waving.
>The spark wasn’t quite there.
>The zorua’s focus darted wildly between your slowing paw, to the tips of your ears, and your chest.
“Uh… kid?”
>A lump grew in your throat.
>Hal slowly shook his head.

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>>58850430
>Harry batted the air, reaching for lunch in dad’s grasp.
>His father digging a turkey slice from the wrap completely held the kit’s interest.
>A disappointed Hal lifted the poultry between two pinched claws to his son.
>Harry grabbed the flappy deli meat like a cat, cupping a paw around to pull it closer.
>Once held between his teeth, he pulled back into his father’s mane.
>The illusion healed.
“I’m sorry.” You half-whispered.
>You’ve said that a lot lately.
>Hal took a moment to run fingers through his hair.
>Muffled, but sloppy chewing came from his forehead.
>”You didn’t know.” Hal said matter-of-factly.
>The zoroark sighed, long and heavy, slumping his shoulders.
“How bad is it?” You dared to ask.
>If Hal took offense, he didn’t show it.
>The disguised dark-type rested his heavy head on a hand.
>”Kid’s not the same.” He began.
>”Different.”
>”It’s only, like...” Hal said, taking a solemn, smaller bite.
>Hal rubbed his eyebrows.
>”Okay, like, part-him?”
>The illusion twinkled wrong.
>You heard the uncertainty.
>”He knows I’m dad, and…”
>”Where Mom is….
>”Was.”
>You nodded.
>”But God, just… Years of schooling…”
“Poof!” Hal half-shrieked, waving his hands for emphasis.
>Hal checked his phone, noisily huffing through his nose.
>”Okay, so-“
>He interrupted himself with a large bite.
>Most of his remaining lunch disappeared.
“He hasn’t gone to school, has he?”
>”Hellgh nough.” Hal answered, mouth full.
>A tiny red-gray paw reached down, batting for the remaining wrap.
>Hal gently pushed his son’s paw back into the hair.
>”Had to dig those old board books for babies out.”
>”Half the time he gnaws ‘em up mid-lesson.” The dark-type added, fixing his disguised hair.
>Not knowing what to say, you kept silent.
>“Lego.”
>“Hide-and-seek.”
>”Lego.”
>”Lego with hide-and-seek.”
>He aura roiled with colored frustration, exhaustion, worry, and fatherly love.
>”Keep finding pieces in my hair.”
>The briefest of smiles betrayed his dour speech for an instant.

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>>58850432
>”Plenty of parents keeping kids outta school now, with all the…” Hal wildly gestured. “You know, going on.”
>”But…”
>”I mean, I feel normal, so maybe as he grows...”
“Yeah, yeah…” You chimed in.
>He didn’t need to finish.
>He was done opening up.
>His aura wanted more.
>The man did not.
>”Okay, what did you want? Make it quick.”
>Shoveling the rest of his turkey-wrap down signaled your turn to talk.
>You’d wholly forgotten why you tracked the engineer down.
“Got any electrical stuff? Something to teach beginners?”
>The ‘human’ across you nodded, licking mustard off a finger.
>”What for?”
“There’s another pokémon like us, and she-“
>”Oh, the cat-thing.” Hal interrupted, with no shortage of disgust.
>”You’re really helping that, uh… it. It out?” Hal surmised, picking his teeth.
“She talks. She’s not an animal.”
>”Didn’t say animal…”
>”Even if we are.” Hal matter-of-factly stated, breaking the illusion for a brief second.
>Calculating, tired blue eyes with years more experience gazed into you.
“She’s as human as you and me.” You said, waving your hands and hoping to avoid any argument.
“Little weird, but she’s not some animal.”
>”Wrecking a substation with a buncha little rats comes close, I’ll tell you that much.”
>”Saw some security footage. And the aftermath.”
“Well, you offering to help?” You shot back. “You’d be a better teacher.”
>”Ugh.” Hal gurgled, looking up at the sky.
>”It was totally you who cleared out the station, wasn’t it?”
“Maybe.”
>”Not playing superhero with you. I have a kid and a job, okay?”
“I know, I know. I didn’t expect you to do that, alright? I just need some stuff.”
>Hal crumpled his garbage into a ball, tossing it back and forth.

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>>58850437
>”Wait here. Lemme see what’s in the truck.”
>”I’ll put it on the ground or something, okay?”
“Thanks.”
>Walking away, the dark-type slowed down and called back to you.
>”You know, those electric monsters were zapped with kilojoules.”
>”Be careful, okay?”
“Promise.” You called back, watching Hal go.
>Your ‘humanity’ flickered and faded.
>Five minutes later, he pulled away.
>You found a few tools in an old, black milk crate.
>A well-used book. Looked complex.
>Some tools – cutters and strippers.
>Bits and strips of wire.
>An old circuit board.
>And a box.
>Unopened.
>’Happy 6th birthday’ written on the top in permanent marker.
>A potato clock.

Updated aurabin:
https://pastebin.com/dNfCG4se
Wish I could write like I used to. MLK day tomorrow gave me some extra free time. Glad to see people still having fun and flexing their creative muscles.

>>58841679
Online class would keep my interest a little more if I knew a man-sized owl was teaching it.

>>58844070
>>58845821
>Dad's eye color
Dunno
>Mom's hair color
Dunno
>How wide were your high school's hallways
Dunno, but that's a brutal question, lmao.
I'd be failing that with flying colors.

>>58849046
>Uber-paranoid about psychics
>Reee and stamp your little feetsies at the local psychic
Bro

>>58850464
Henry losing himself to PIPS is a pretty dark turn. This whole thread's been heavy today.

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Maybe I can lighten things up?
>A time honored tradition
>Two of the oldest battles in the world
>Now it was your time to take up arms in the eternal struggle
>Academic Research vs Mainstream Media
>and
>Two Competing Academic Theories About An Unknown Phenomenon
>Pop Psychology picked up the phrase PIPS after a single academic paper was published attempting to describe the mental effects of people turned into Pokémon
>This completely stepped on the toes of all of the ongoing research your colleagues had been doing
>The fact that the report came from a rival university that had beat your football team that same week was salt in the wound
>Naturally, when the media caught wind of it, they paraded it as the new scientific consensus and ground truth
>Two weeks later, AI generated surveys based off the telephone game version of the original test battery popped up alongside the usual “One Weird Tip Discovered By A Mom” and “Determine Your Marriage Compatibility - is Your Spouse a Louse?” online quizzes
>There was only one way to win this war
>Publish a competing theory and call their analysis into question
>All that to explain why you now found yourself sitting in an observation room being pelted with dumb questions
>”How wide was your high school hallway?”
…
…
>”Sir.”
“Hold on. I’m remembering the pattern of the floor tiles. They were 12” squares, and there was a central pattern of five that made a zig zag. Then there was a dark border on either side, then another light border, then a dark “gutter”. Five plus three times two gives 11 feet wide, but there was also the perpendicular hallway that was narrower with the -“
>”Thank you. That’s plenty for this question.”
>Was it wrong of you to be difficult with these grad students?
>Maybe.
>Was it wrong of them to ambush you into doing this because you just happened to walking be on campus the week before classes started?
>Maybe.

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>>58851036
>”Next question. Again, I am asking for just your knee jerk reaction and the first thing that comes to mind. What is your favorite food?”
…
…
>”Sir!”
“Oh come on, I would have struggled to answer that question as a human being! I know you’re looking for me to say something like a squirrel to show I’ve gone off the deep end, or a salad to show my grass type affinity, or a kebab to show a hunters instincts, or a burger to show I’m an American and the advertising outside the student union I saw on the way in to the test still works on me. My knee jerk reaction is to think about the question. I consider who is asking me, why they’re asking, and what they actually want to find out.
>>”Alright, I think we’ll call it there”
>Saved by the bell, or rather the voice over the intercom from the other side of the one-way glass
>You walked out of the fishbowl and sat at the conference table along side the other researchers
>A group of young and multicultural students greeted you back from examination
>If they were all sitting on the grass in the quad, it would look like every single image the university uses in their recruitment ads
>>”It’s fine professor. Free association is Freudian bunk anyway.”
I don’t suppose you’ll let me in on what major breakthrough my survey data is helping to explain? You don’t have to worry about me spilling any details. I’m a pure math guy and might not understand it anyway.
>”In short, we’re rejecting the chronological assertion of our colleagues and propose a separate methodology of categorizing the effects of spontaneous metamorphosis into previously fictional beings”

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>>58851049
>>”We call it BIP-BOP! Behavioral, Identity, and Parasocial Baseline for Organic Pokemon”
“Catchy.”
>”We like to think so. Behavioral relates to physical actions, Identity relates to the image of self, and Parasocial relates to the individual’s ability to have healthy relationships with others while being physically, or potentially mentally, alienated. This is evaluated with a DSM aligned tracking of episodes frequency and severity rather than relying on interview responses.”
“Great. So this wasn’t secretly a test to see if I noticed a gorilla standing in the corner of the room, or observe whether I pluck my feathers when l think no one is watching?”
>”Nope.”
“I don’t suppose you’re any closer to figuring out how this works or why it keeps happening?”
>>”That’s not our department and the grant funding doesn’t cover it. Just the mental health stuff.”
“Alright. So I’m free to go then?”
>”Yes. You’ll receive your $9 gift card at your university email within 4 weeks”
>The things you do in the name of science.

>>58851056
>For a $9 gift card
I laughed. This sounds like student's personal funds level cheap.

>>58849046
The cuteness of Emma slopping off the couch and out the door contrasts beautifully with what follows. Conner is clearly lonely and scared, but that's no excuse to take his paranoia out on an innocent bean like Emma, not to mention the immense, lasting harm such casually flicked cruelty can cause.

I did immediately think of a possible funny resolution to this neighbour from Hell story, though. Even people who are intimately familiar with Pokemon sometimes forget that Luxray isn't a dark type, so what if Larson were to pretend to be one and, with his impressive size that you've mentioned, intimidate the guy a little to put him in his place? Maybe try to convince him to get some help, too, since he's clearly not looking after himself. Obviously for that to happen Emma would have to tell Larson and Kurt that it happened in the first place, which she might be initially reluctant to open up about, so that's another potential scene in and of itself. As awful as that was, there IS a positive spin that can be put on all of this, iffin' that's where you want to take it of course.

>>58850464
Hal and Lucarioanon are both paranoid in their own ways. Like two dysfunctional peas in a pod, they are. I'll admit, Harry being semi-feral is much harder to put a positive spin on, and the potato clock is a real gut punch, but we'll have to see what happens. I definitely think opening up to others more and not keeping himself and his son sequestered away would help. Lucarioanon also still hasn't done anything about his financial situation... wonder what's going on with that... At least he's being very proactive with Kat, that's good.

Also, wait, the kid's only six but he's already had "years" of schooling? Was he a prodigy or something?

>I'd be failing that with flying colors.
Yeah, same here.

>>58851056
Ahaha! I do love the idea of PIPS being poorly researched pop psychology bullshit. Makes sense - we still don't even have a comprehensive grasp of how the human mind works, much less the minds of hundreds of different Pokemon species that were formerly humans. Although from the sounds of it, Prof's own institution isn't necessarily any better - everybody's grasping at straws and jumping to conclusions (including us as the writers you could argue. Ooh, meta!) and it's great. Well maybe not so great for turnees who are getting bad advice, but, y'know, when you're sitting safely behind the fourth wall, it's definitely fun and amusing to read about. Doesn't even trigger my, "Thanks, I read these to escape the horrors of reality, not to be haunted by them!" reflex, which is refreshing.

>"What's your favourite food?"
>"I have to carefully consider the context in which that question was asked."

The autismo is strong in this one. Here we see the frustrating side of Prof's ultra-analytical nature and it, too, is great. I cracked up at the "I'm an American" bit.

>Free association is Freudian bunk anyway
Okay, this sequence might just be the best thing you've written so far. I don't think I've laughed so much at anything else in all of /sip/. Pokemon Pit is great too, don't get me wrong, but I'm very, VERY happy to see you writing ProfD again. So far it's paying real dividends.

>Organic Pokemon
Does that include rock and steel types?

>This is evaluated with a DSM aligned tracking of episodes frequency and severity rather than relying on interview responses
They make it all sound so reasonable, but is it really? Hmmm...

The gorilla crack and the cheap gift card are pretty amusing as well. God, I literally have a job taking surveys door-to-door and our gift cards are more than that!

>Maybe I can lighten things up?
You definitely did. Great job.

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>>58845821
>"Can I ask you something?" you asked.
>"Sure that's why I'm here for," she replied like it was the most normal thing.
>"Those questions seemed random. What was the purpose of them?"
>"In general? To get a rough percentage of altered memories. One point is roughly 10%. This test isn't foolproof but is enough to give us an idea about the state of an individual's memories," she said before abruptly ending.
>"Ok I'll have to explain to you the scale and what those numbers mean. So from zero to four is the point at which individuals still have the ability to discern altered memories from non-altered ones. Between four and six, the individual can't discern between altered and non-altered memories. And between six and ten, the individual starts to consider the non-altered memories as the altered ones," she explained.
>"So if I understand this correctly. Zero-Four, you know that you turned, Four-Six is a coin flip, and Six-Ten you think of yourself as always having been a Pokemon?" you asked for some clarification.
>"Oh, ok. But back to the questions. They really seemed random and without a rhyme or reason," you said.
>"More or less, yes. The test isn't standardized, and each individual basically needs their own version of it made with the help of friends and family. That's kind of what I did here. Tidbits from your life I remembered you or your parents told me about."
>"Can you tell me how a "wrong" answer would look from your perspective?"
>"Idunno.Your favorite food being pizza with anchovies. The walls at your old place being an earthy brown. You refering to your family members as pack members. The only criterion for it is not matching with what your friends and family say."
>"And what if I don't remember? Is that counted?"
>"No. It is not counted, and instead, a new question is added until we get ten of them answered."
>"And if others misremember things?"
>"That's why we get multiple people to help with it to minimize the chances."

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>>58851969
>"I'm still skeptical of this test," you replied.
>"As of now, it is a stopgap measure until we hopefully find something better. It is easier to work with someone who knows they were a human once than someone who thinks that they hatched from an egg," she replied to your statement in a tone that acknowledged your skepticism.
>"Then again, this form isn't my specialty," she said out of left field.
>"What do you mean by that? Is there another form?" you asked in shock.
>"Uhh... Yeah. The anterograde form. It basically changes your behavior and personality after turning," she said, like it was the most normal thing in the world to your dismay.
>"Don't you think you should have tested me for it first? I think those things are more important than if I remember my birthday or whatever," you said with your tone raised.
>"Calm down. This test requires observation and self-reporting of those behaviors. And for now, all I needed to know was if you were aggressive towards me and if you were willing to cooperate. It hasn't even been a day since you turned, so you probably didn't even have the time to experience those instincts," she replied sternly.
>A silence occurred between the two of you.
>"I-I'm sorry for shouting at you," you replied.
>"Ehh... Nothing happened," she replied in a tired tone.
>"Now come here," she said as she pulled you into a hug.
>Her hand was gliding over your body like it was skimming the water's surface.
>It felt nice for a change.
>All of a sudden she picked you up, took a breath in, and blew air into the side of your body.
>You didn't know that the inside of your body would be ticklish as the air bubbles went around and between what you thought were your organs.
>"Hey stop that! It tickles!" you shouted while laughing your ass off.

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>Two stories and 40 hops later, you arrived at the second floor.
>Fortunately, your stamina has improved drastically with your new body.
>Jumping around like that would've certainly wrecked you seven weeks ago.
>You looked down the long hallway.
>The right side was full with lockers and doors to the bedrooms, while the left side had lots of windows and mostly empty walls.
>There wasn't much going on, but you could still hear some chattering coming from the rooms.
>Above the first door hung a WC and bathroom sign.
>You were a bit thirsty from the journey, so you had a quick look inside.
>As you expected, there were about a dozen toilets and urinals, two room-long basins with mirrors and the usual large wet room with shower heads.
>You walked over to one of the basins and turned on one of the taps and took a few good gulps.
>The cool water felt great going down your long throat.
>You also took the opportunity to clean the ink from your fur.
>You unwrapped your right whip and started scrubbing.
>Your fur wasn't as oily and water-repellent as the coat of an otter. Even so, the ink was quite easy to wash out.
>Once the most egregious spots were cleaned, you wrung out the whip and wrapped it back around your arm.
>Surprisingly, the voice seemed to have accepted the wrapping already and didn't cry out again.
>The slightly wet sensation reminded you of all the times your sleeves got caught under the stream while you were washing your hands.
>Satisfied, you went back to the hallway and marched to the next door to figure out where your room was exactly.
>The first bedroom showed the number 225.
>"Fantastic..." you murmured to yourself.

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>>58852553
>You leisurely started to make your way to the other end of the hallway.
>The light-grey, rubbery floor felt oddly nice to walk on, as it feathered your gait while the Lego-like texture basically gave your feet a massage.
>The clattering of your claws, on the other hand...
>The emptiness of the hallway and general absence of activities amplified the noise.
>You were not a fan, but there was nothing you could do but soldier on.
>While you walked further down the hallway, you noticed some pictures hanging between the panes.
>You had a look at some of the pictures on the wall to distract yourself.
>There was the obligatory "Patrouille Suisse flying in formation and showing their bellies with the snow covered Alps in the background" picture.
>You always liked the iconic red and white livery of the F-5 fighter jets.
>Too bad you weren't fit enough to become a fighter pilot back in the day. Flying through the mountainous terrain while dipping in and out of the fog always has been a dream of yours.
>Now you were fit enough, but your ermine form wouldn't allow for piloting a supersonic war machine anymore and you highly doubted that they would custom build one for you either.
>...
>Maybe Affligé was the correct term after all...
>You passed room 217.
>The next picture was a great one — an action shot of an artillery piece mid-fire. The shock wave kicked up dust and dirt around the gun as the shot, surrounded by thick, light-grey smoke, left the muzzle.
>Room 209

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>>58852560
>Lastly, you saw a frame full of badges that you could earn during your service.
>You knew around half of them and got four of your own: the service badge, the marksman's award, self-help and comrade assistance / CBRN defence, and domestic operations.
>You were proud of those badges, even if they weren't particularly hard to achieve.
>You wondered, if the army would introduce Pokémon-specific awards and if you could perhaps get them yourself.
>Thinking about this made you realise what a badge junkie you actually were.
>No matter, it always felt nice when you got some recognition for a job well done.
>You finally got to room 204. It was the last one before another bathroom and staircase.
>The door was half open and you could hear two voices inside.
>One sounded higher and had a slight humming to it, while the other sounded more like chirping.
>You paused for a second before knocking on the door and letting yourself in. The two voices fell silent.

--
Gonna stagger the posts for part three over a couple of days, as it got longer than I anticipated (again). I'll update the Rentry once I posted all of part three here.

>>58852573
Ooh, more Pokemon affliges?

>>58852029
Stopgap measure is right. You can really feel what a mess the whole thing is. Appreciated that our autist Vape doesn't take self-contradictory nonsense lying down.

>blowing air into his body
First of all - kinda sus. Second of all, how did she know she could do that? Has she worked with a Vaporeon before do we think?

>>58852573
I don't envy whoever has to figure bathroom ergonomics for transformees out.

Seems the 'shao instinct has a practical mindset. Probably explains why it doesn't get in Etienne's way TOO much.

Heh, "soldier" on.

"some pictures hanging" and "some of the pictures on the wall" might be better as "some pictures hanging on the wall" and "some of them" to avoid the repetition of the word "pictures".

"always has been" -> "always had been"

>custom fighter build for a transformee"
Now THAT I would like to see.

>Maybe Affligé was the correct term after all...
Ohhh, Etienne, nooo... Someone hug this mink... They ARE incredibly huggable with that fur.

"as the shot" might be better as "as the round" for the same reason as my previous suggested edit.

>badge junkie
Ha! Bro is fiending for medals. When his instinct was laughing at him, I pictured it sounding like Muttley, which feels even more appropriate in hindsight. Perhaps an appreciation for shinies is something he and the instinct will be able to fully agree on - would certainly be amusing.

Alright! Time to meet mountain noodle's comrades! Definitely looking forward to this.

Bonk

>>58853204
>Time to meet mountain noodle's comrades!
A weasel and two unknowns walk into a barracks...

>>58853204
She tried to cheer him up by doing that belly thing, but accidentally broke his surface tension.

>>58847399
There is no proof that this wasp nest was actually inside a Wii U
You know better than this.

>>58854950
There’s no proof that a man turned into a Lucario either, but it’s still a fun story.

>>58855057
>it’s still a fun story
It was entertaining, yes, I'm not denying that
>a man turned into a Lucario
Qrd?

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>>58855144
A literal lucario fought a literal aggron at a car dealership, dude.
All over social media.

>>58855179
big if true

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>>58855179
People are still falling for AI slop? That was probably some kind of advertising stunt. Next you’re probably going to say that lawyer po actually turned into a fire tiger wrestler.

>>58855546
*lawyer on tv

>>58855179
>lucario fought a literal aggron at a car dealership
Source?

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Another Fedoark Intermision.
>You couldn't sleep.
>Your mind was too preoccupied with thinking about the small family reunion with Derek.
>Not something you wanted, but it was something you couldn't avoid.
>Better to be done and over it than not doing anything.
>Your mind was in a tailspin thinking about tomorrow.
>Impatience was killing you.
>And that impatience forced you outside in the middle of the night.
>You were told that he was a Noivern, but you still needed to take a look at Derek to know if you'd feel malice towards him.
>You were too afraid to look at him in the forest, so you didn't know how you'd react to seeing him.
>Using the rooftops, you ran to Derek's house.
>Once you arrived, you saw that the lights were off, and a singular window was open.
>You just sat there with the hope of catching him flying in or out so you could know.
>But nothing happened.
>While you were waiting, your ears heard a singular beep coming from his house.
>A while after another one.
>And another one.
>It was a smoke detector beeping.
>It seemed that he wasn't home because if he was, he'd probably change the batteries the second he heard it making noise, bat dragon or not.
>"Heh Bat Batteries," you thought to yourself with a grin on your sleep-deprived face.
>On the other hand, you could have expected this.
>Derek was supposed to show up tomorrow after sunset.
>He probably had things to do.
>In a way it was a relief.
>A reason to go back instead of waiting.
>You were about to head back, but you heard something inside the house shatter.
>Glass?
>Maybe a wild animal got in through the window...
>... or a burglar.
>Either way, you had to check it.
>A sense of familial duty.
>You sneaked closer to his home before phasing through one of the walls.
>Once you entered, you heard a chiming sound coming from the upper floor.

>>58855676
Uh oh.

>>58855676
Castle law says she can let loose. D̷o̵ ̷i̸t̶.̴

>>58856434
I don't think that applies to other people's houses as easily, even if they're family.

>>58857067
Maybe, but with i̷l̸l̸u̴s̴i̴o̸n̴s̴ you can be anyone.

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>>58852573
>The room itself was pretty basic. There were two bunk beds and a small shelf between them to your right. There also was big window looking out over the back of the building. The left wall was bare, apart from a single picture of an IFV.
>At least the walls were covered with ingrain wallpaper and not simply left with exposed concrete like the rest of the building.
>Perched on top of the further away bunk bed frame was a roughly basketball sized, black and red feathered bird with yellow wing tips.
>The bird turned its head slightly to the side to get a better look at you.
>"Salut!" the Fletchinder greeted you with his chirpy voice.
"Good morning," you replied and gave him a nod.
>"Oh, oh, oh! Is our little trio complete now?" You heard an excited but bodiless voice say from your right.
>Something shuffled around on the top bunk right next to you.
>The mattress on the bed was higher than your head, so you stretched as far as you could to see the stranger, who was probably trying to get up.
>To your surprise, however, the bed seemed to be completely empty.
>You wondered which Pokémon the military summoned to participate in their little publicity stunt.
>It should be someone strong or with an extraordinary ability to get the upper hand in battle.
>A ghost-type perhaps?
>You didn't have to wait long to find out, because a tiny yellow head with four blue eyes appeared over the edge of the bed frame.
>The little creature lifted his right front leg and waved it at you. "Howdy!"
>What? Why?
"Uh, hi?" you greeted the yellow tick with slightly widened eyes. "I honestly didn't expect a Joltik to be here."
>The Joltik puffed himself up. "Neither did feather brain over there, yet here I am!" he said, looking over to his feathered comrade.
>The Fletchinder flapped his wings. "Hey, I have a name you know!" he hissed at the tiny arachnid.
>"I know~" the electric spider gleefully responded.

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>>58857840
>The Joltik looked back to you.
>"Anyway, my name is Joel." He said, trying to salute you with his right little arm.
>"And I'm Nick," added the fiery avian. "Nice to meet you!"
"Likewise! I'm Etienne," you introduced yourself with a smile.
>What a quirky little group you had found yourself in!
>You made your way to the bunk bed below the Fletchinder, put down your daypack in front of the night stand and hopped onto the mattress.
"I assume this one isn't taken yet?" you asked around.
>The Joltik made his way down to the mattress opposite of you.
>"Technically no bed is taken yet. Nick just perched himself up there and I wanted to be on eye level with him." Joel explained with a soft hum.
>Nick fluttered down to the bed and made himself comfortable next to the much smaller Joltik.
>"I was up there because I don't like the feeling of being enclosed by things." he said.
>"Feather's claustrophobic~" Joel teased him.
>Nick looked at Joel with narrowed eyes.
>"You know that birds eat bugs like you," Nick grumbled at him.
>You heard a soft crackling from the Jolitk, as he was building up static.
>Joel then stood up on his hind legs to be more intimidating.
>Well... as intimidating as a tennis ball sized, cute fur ball can be.
>"Try me!" Joel spit back. "Electric is super effective against flying!"
>Without a comment, Nick flapped his wings, creating a small gust.
>The little bug-type immediately lost his balance and fell backwards onto his back. The static fizzled out while he tumbled.
>"Hey, not fair!" he complained.
>He started to flail with his four short legs to get himself back up.
>You snorted.
>They behaved like old friends. Maybe they did their apprenticeship together or perhaps they knew each other since childhood?
>Before you could say anything, Nick turned his attention away from the struggling Joltik.

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>>58857845
>"So, how have you adjusted to being a... Sorry, what Pokémon are you anyway?" he asked you.
"Oh, uhm, I'm a Mienshao," you monotonously said.
>"Mienshao, huh? Something after the fourth Generation then?" he responded.
"Yeah, it's a fighting-type from the fifth generation," you explained to the bird.
>You started rummaging through your bag for your phone.
>Meanwhile, Joel was still lying on his back, wriggling and straining to find something to turn himself over.
>But the empty mattress didn't have anything to grab onto.
>You found your phone at the bottom of the daypack.
"But to get back to your question; settling in has been hard, especially with the constant emotional and psychological strain," You continued and put your phone on the bedside cabinet.
>Nick tilted his head. "Didn't get spared by the intrusive thoughts, huh?" He said in a somewhat sombre tone.
"Guess so. Still adjusting to the whole..." You smacked your lips. "...experience?" You half-questioned yourself and gestured to your body.
>You still weren't really sure of what to think about turning into a noodle with fur.
>And frankly, you didn't want to think about it right now either.
"What about you two?" you started, to change the topic away from yourself. "Both of you seem rather comfortable with yourselves." you asked the two Pokémon.
>Joel, now lying still and defeated on his back, was the first to respond.
>"I think I'm one of the first cases nationwide. I turned half a year ago," he said. "I don't have a lot of psychological problems, though. Only that I want to french-kiss power sockets sometimes..." He chuckled while eyeing the outlet above the bedside table.
>There was a moment of silence in the room as Joel tried to get up again.
>He quickly gave up.

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>>58857853
>"Okay, I'm sorry I called you feather brain, Nick," he apologised to his tormentor. "Please help me get up!" He pleaded, stretching out all four limbs as if he wanted to hug someone.
>Nick looked down to the helpless electric-type and shrugged as best as he could.
>"Hmph, alright, grab on," he called out to Joel, hopped closer to him and extended his right wing above him.
>The Joltik gladly grabbed the feathery arm that toppled him just a few moments ago and pulled himself back on his feet.
>"Much better, thank you!" replied the relieved spider.
>The Fletchinder just nodded and turned his attention back to you.
>"As for me, I turned three and a half months ago. No real negative side effects either, other than not liking enclosed spaces." he said while he adjusted his wings to sit more comfortably.
>"To be honest, I've never felt better! I've been a big fan of birds and flying all my life and I always wanted to be a pilot someday," he added with a happy chirp in his voice.
>He tried to smile as much as his beak would allow.
>"You'll get used to it, I'm sure of it!" He tried to cheer you up.
"Oh, I'm sure I'll get used to it," you protested. "Im just in a very long round of *Schwingen* at the moment, and I can't seem to heave the instincts and urges down into the sawdust. But I'm not going down that easily!"
>The Joltik's eyes lit up when you mentioned the national sport.
>"Did you wrestle in the sawdust ring before turning?" he asked with anticipation.
"Oh, not much," you admitted. "I rarely wore the wrestling trousers myself, but over the years I regularly attended the Swiss Wrestling Festivals with my grandpa!"
>"Ooh, I always wanted to go to one — I love Swiss wrestling! Everyone I know only ever watches boring football and I never had the chance to visit a festival myself," Joel said, practically buzzing with excitement.
>His joy was highly contagious and brought a smile to your face.

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>>58857854
>You saw an opportunity to make a new friend.
"Wanna go together to one sometime?" you asked him.
>You didn't think he could get any happier, but he literally began to glow blue with joy.
>"Yes, absolutely!" he hummed, jumping up and down with joy.
You turned to Nick. "What about you? Want to join us as well?"
>Nick hesitated.
>Eventually, he flapped his wings. The little bundle of joy beside him flinched and stopped glowing, fearing he would be flipped upside down again.
>"Ah hell, why not. Sounds like a fun enough trip," Nick finally said, giving another hearty flap. "I'm not the biggest fan of *Schwingen*, but festivals are always fun."
>Joel let out a happy buzz. "Yay!"

---
I'm so happy to finally use all the cute little Joltik images I see all over the interwebs. And yes, I spoiler images for new introductions. I got spoiled before in here because the image was the first thing I saw.

>>58855179
Sure, and then you want to tell me an Emboar set a forest on fire instead of some local teens. As >>58855546 said: Completely ridiculous to fall for AI slop these days.

>>58855676
Please don't walk in on Derek and Lisa cooking. Layla urgently needs to learn some restraint!

>>58857885
Joel the Joltik, oddly fitting. He seems fine now, but I wonder how hard it was for him to adapt to being a tiny insect.

>>58857845
Got to be honest. I expected more “continental” names than Nick and Joel after the setup with Etienne and Christophe

Bonk

>>58855546
HAVE YOU BEEN INJURED IN AN ACCIDENT? SUFFERED AN INJURY DUE TO TRUCKERS, NEGLIGENCE, OR OVERWORK? CHARGED WITH A DUI?
>>CALL TIGER LAW<<
>Don’t let my new look fool you, I’ll fight for your rights harder than anyone else!
>I’ll tackle the opposition and hold them in a choke hold until you get paid!
>Don’t settle for a weak kitten, pick Tiger Law today!
>I’m burning up!

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>>58859199
Isn’t it weird how your “hometown lawyer” is always a part of a nationwide company?
You would be surprised how hard it is to find images of an Incineroar in formal clothes. Googling “Incineroar Suit” does not get you what you want.

>>58858460
An ordinary world with ordinary people, I guess. At least I can pull names from four languages. I'll make sure to include some more local names (like Florin) for future characters, though.

>>58859199
We desperately need a Tiger Law story that reads like Phoenix Wright.

>>58859203
>spoiler
I feel with you... What a terrible day to have eyes.

>>58859729
>Better Call Saul, but he’s a luchador

What a disgusting and retarded fetish. I hope you all kill yourselves soon.

>>58860583
>Posting the same thing for months
Mindbroken

>>58860566
>Prosecutor just happened to also turn into a Hawlucha

Ponk

>>58857885
I wonder if Joltik is such an alien and different physiology than a human’s that it wraps back around to not being very psychologically taxing. Like there’s an uncanny valley effect where your Pokémon form is simultaneously too human and too bizarre.

>>58862467
I don't think Joltik is too different from your average quadruped. Only the four eyes and the size difference would probably be a nuisance to the human mind. Maybe the respiratory system as well? Considering we humans usually don't breath manually (sorry), that seemingly shouldn't be a huge issue. We also don't know whether Joltiks have lungs.

>>58846824
Does this makes makima a loli?

Imagine being a sizefag and desperately hoping you turn into a Joltik, only to wake up as an Onix (or vice versa)

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Do you think insurance would cover the cost of getting a wig to help you feel more normal in your pokemon form?

>>58864938
Depends on the state and if they're worried about Pokemon turnees snapping and doing much more damage than the cost of some non-invasive, quality of life related image coverage.

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Kind of quiet lately eh?
>>58851969
>>58852029
Just wanted to make it clear, I liked your interpretation of PIPS and wasn’t trying to deride it. I just thought the idea of the scientific community having a bunch of competing ideas about what they effectively know nothing about seemed funny.
>>58855676
Could this be Ghost on Ghost violence? H. Zorks are immune to Ghost types thanks to the Normal type so she gets an extra leg up. Unless it’s a Dark type in which case she’s screwed.
>>58857885
Joel and Nick seem to be taking things extremely well. Good for them. Armies notably standardize around a window of “average” builds for people, so I’m a bit surprised they’re taking such a variety of body types. Do they make fatigues for birds or insects? On the other hand, I could imagine it being explained as “leveraging the natural resources and talents of the Swiss people to protect their homeland and serve the interests of national security” and them wanting to know if they have a walking WMD or specialist in their back pocket in case they ever need it.

>>58865197
>Armies notably standardize around a window of “average” builds for people, so I’m a bit surprised they’re taking such a variety of body types
That actually might be what they're trying to figure out with our protagonist(s) as their guinea pigs: how well can they cope with wildly divergent physiologies and are the techniques sufficient to make up for the logistical difficulties, enough to make turnees an asset during wartime?

bump

>>58849046
Hard to read in a good way, great job Snivy.

>>58850464
Damn that hurts good too. At least he still remembers mommy and daddy, it'd be too much of a heartbreaker otherwise.

>>58851056
>PIPS
>BIP-BOP
I love how cutesy all the names are. Fun chapter, glad to see the professor back.

>>58867200
>Prepare to be Bipped and Bopped, Human!

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>>58841099
>/sip/

Catching up on some stuff I missed in the last few threads. Cruz has a very nice family, all the stuff with them has been very sweet.

>>58867753
Still better than what we had before with /snip/

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>>58857885
>Joel and you chatted a bit more about your spontaneous plans.
>Nick had meanwhile fluttered back to his previous spot above you to look outside.
>You guessed that he wasn't as comfortable on the lower bed and that he wasn't as invested in the conversation.
>Joel raved about the television broadcast and how he always wanted to start wrestling himself.
>You told him how you got into it and that you mainly did to spend more time with your grandpa before he tragically passed away earlier this year.
>After mentioning this, Joel's uplifted mood deteriorated, as if it had brought back painful memories.
"Are you alright?" you asked him.
>"Yeah... just some bad memories." he dismissed you with a cold voice. "I'm sorry for you loss."
>The way he answered made you believe that he must have had a very profound experience. You've never seen anyone get sad so quickly just from the mention of death.
>...
>You knew it was better not to ask the obvious next question.
>Instead, you grabbed your phone to look at the time.
>You didn't realise how fast the time had passed. The clock already showed 08:36.
"Well, we should really go back down to the waiting area. We got ten minutes left to gather," you told your newfound friends.
>"Oh really?" Nick said from above. "But it's way more comfortable in here and we still got ten minutes!"
>The room wasn't really that inviting in your eyes.
"Why's that?" you asked, remembering the order to go to the waiting area straight away after bringing your luggage up here.
>"Well... you know how we turnees just get stared at constantly, right?" the bird explained.
>You knew.
>Joel joined in too. His voice didn't have that sombre undertone from before anymore. "The stares just don't stop and it makes me nervous."

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>>58869409
>The constant stares never really bothered you, but you still felt how people constantly glanced at you in your new, everyday life.
>But you've also been trying to avoid as much exposure to society for the past six weeks in general.
>The trip here was actually the longest time you've been in public by a long shot.
>You sympathised with the two of them, but orders were orders.
"I know, I know. But we still need to gather in the waiting area, regardless of the stares," you tried to convince them. "Orders shouldn't be ignored so early in your career."
>Nick glided down beside you, staring at you with narrowed eyes.
>"You sound just like my former lieutenant. Aren't you a private, like we are?" he accused you.
>You were found out.
>Well, it wasn't a secret to begin with, but it still felt like it.
>There was no reason to hide it.
"Sergeant, actually," you corrected the suspicious bird.
>Nick hopped a step away from you. "Oh shit, should I have called you 'Sir'?" he gasped.
"Heavens, no!" you immediately replied, your paws held up in an apologetic gesture. "I've never been one of those NCOs with a power trip fetish. I dropped that act after the first twelve weeks of RS. It's perfectly fine to address me informally!"
>"Man, what a twist," the electric-bug-type chuckled.
>Nick cleared his throat. "Sorry, many NCOs kinda have a stick up their bum."
"You're good. The army does have a lot of those..." you remarked, lowering your paws and jumping off the mattress.
>Joel recited one of the derogatory sayings about militia NCOs and officers. "A failure in life; a cadre in the army~"
>Unfortunately, the saying hit the nail on the head in many cases. There was an overabundance of incompetence in the commanding ranks of the militia.
>While you were on topic, now was the time to ask that question that's been bugging you for a while.
"So, you were privates before turning," you began. "Did you two serve together?"
>Nick looked up to you with a puzzled look on his face.

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>>58869415
>"How do you know that?" he asked. "We served in the same regiment. Joel was a mechanic while I was the driver of a Piranha AFV. Well, we still kinda are — on paper I mean."
>Bingo! You were mostly right with your assumption.
"The way you interacted with each other gave it away," you told them.
>Little Joel was making his way to the edge of the mattress, but didn't jump down yet.
>"You are pretty observant," he expressed.
"A good leader should know the people he works with," you stated with pride.
>They nodded.
"Anyway, we should probably go downstairs now." you said. "I really don't want to piss off the fish finger faction this early."
>Both of them agreed with a chuckle, but Joel still hesitated to jump off the bed.
>He looked.. helpless?
>You went over to him and crouched down.
"Need a ride?" you asked the little four-legged arachnid.
>"Yes please... I'm not as quick as I used to be and the idea of someone stepping on me is pretty unnerving, to be honest," Joel admitted.
>You stretched out your arm towards him.
"Alright, hop on. Standard charges apply," you invited him with a smile.
"Cheers, Sergeant!" Joel said as he saluted you and jumped onto your arm.
>Joel then made his way up your arm and onto your shoulder before finally coming to rest on your head.
>You felt the urge to swat the bug-type away...
>"You're really fluffy, you know?" you heard from the top of your head. "I kinda expected you to be... more otter-ish?"
>That didn't help with the urge, either.
"Mhm"
>You didn't like the remark, even if you made that connection pretty early yourself.
>After you had told your parents about your condition, your mother also made the same remark when they visited you and she gave you a hug.
>The petting that followed felt awful, even if she only meant well.

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>>58869424
>You grabbed your daypack and took out all the things you didn't need to carry with you. A towel, as well as your toothbrush and toothpaste.
>You put the items on the mattress, put your phone back in and picked up the bag.
>The three of you left the room and made your way to the stairs on the far end of the hallway.
>While you were walking, you asked them about their service together.
>Nick told you that his Piranha regularly broke down and needed frequent repairs. Joel was assigned to his regiment after the second time for rudimentary field repairs and acted as his personal navigator.
>"Ah, good times" Joel revelled in nostalgia. "That stupid piece of junk always broke down at the most inconvenient time."
>"Like that one time we somehow got stuck in a literal puddle in the middle of a field because the engine suddenly decided to output only 5% of its power?" Nick chirped, hopping beside you, trying to keep up your pace.
>"Aw man, don't remind me," Joel chuckled from the top of your head. "For some reason, the engine was leaking oil in ways I never thought possible. It fucked up the differential somehow."
>"Oh, right! It wasn't actually the engine that time," replied Nick. "It took us about seven hours to get back to base, too."
>You just listened and enjoyed the conversation.
>It was always nice to share experiences in the army. It was a great conversation starter.
>The three of you went downstairs into the now empty entrance room.
>The smell of hand sanitiser had dissipated somewhat, but was still lingering in the air.
>The concentration was low enough to not bother you as much this time around.
>You could hear a lot of chatter behind the door labelled as the waiting area.
>You led the way into the room, Nick closely following behind you.

--
Probably got one or two more sections until the part is finished.

>>58869440
This army seem weirdly unprofessional, if I'm honest.

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>>58855676
>The house was cold.
>Just like if the heating was turned off for a long while.
>Wherever Derek was, he hasn't been at his home for quite a while.
>Your eyesight was far better than before turning.
>Even if everything lacked color for the most part, your vision worked more like it would during a sunset.
>You started crawling your way up the stairs, making sure not to make any noise.
>The beep of the fire alarm made you freeze half way.
>You kind of forgot that it was there.
>After regaining your senses, you continued your way up.
>You felt something in you.
>Anger?
>No, it was something different yet similar.
>You couldn't really put a finger on it, but whatever it was, you didn't like it.
>It was too familiar.
>"There has to be something worth the effort here," you heard a voice with an agitated tone.
>It wasn't Derek's voice.
>Completely different tone and the fact that it wasn't in your mind.
>The "s" hissed like a knife being sharpened on a whetstone.
>"A thief!" your mind shouted.
>You approached the doorway to the room the intruder was in.
>You disrupted your form with illusions before entering.
>It looked like a figure of stacked coins.
>You remembered it while scrolling through the list.
>And the sight of it confused you.
>Like the Trevenant from before.
>And yet it didn't feel anything like that.
>The window was broken, and glass was all over the floor.
>"Could you explain what you are doing here?" you said to the intruder.
>"Looting this place for all it is worth," replied the creature. "Now find yourself a different place to loot because this one is mine."
>Whatever it was, it didn't even acknowledge you.
>It was just going through all the crevices of the room in search of valuables.
>"Oh I think it should be YOU finding yourself a different place to steal from," you said with venom.
>"Listen here. I was here FIRST, and I'm not afraid of your threats," said the creature while standing up and turning to face you.

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>>58870367
>It clearly was sure of its abilities.
>Too sure, in fact.
>Your ears picked up the sound of coins clanging against each other.
>Not a sound you picked up on before making the creature aware of you.
>It seemingly was shaking with fear.
>"I clearly have the type advantage, so why won't you just fuck off?" said the coin creature.
>"And I have a counterproposition. You fuck off and leave whatever you stole, or I'm going to demonstrate why coin ridges had to be invented," you said, more agitated than before.
>"Is that supposed to be a threat? What does that even mean?"
>"If you don't want to find out, then you better do as I say."
>"Says the person hiding in the shadows like a coward."
>"Says the person shaking like a coin purse."
>While initially you felt a certain sense of neutrality towards it, now you just wanted it gone, and if it continued, you'd want to see it dead.
>"I've had enough of you," said the creature before raising one of its arms in your rough direction.
>You stepped aside inside your illusion to be out of the way of the attack.
>As soon as you stepped aside, a stream of coins flew through the illusion.
>You partially broke the illusion and phased through the wall to the neighboring room.
>In addition, you created an illusion of the sound of running away.
>"Heh... Hahahaha. I can't believe it worked," you heard the muffled voice from behind the wall expressing joy at the seeming victory.
>"Ok I need to quickly pack up. This was too close of a call. If whatever that was calls for backup, I'm dead," continued the coin creature warily after a short silence.
>Well, you were lucky that the creature shared Derek's habit of talking to itself.
>It made it easier to deal with.
>In the meantime, you noticed that you ended up in Derek's room.
>It looked quite normal with the notable exception of a PC desk without a PC setup.
>The only thing on it was a phone and some cables.
>It didn't seem like the PC was stolen.
>Else the phone wouldn't be there.

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>>58870374
>Did Derek move it or something?
>As you were brainstorming what happened with the PC, your thought process was disturbed by the clinking of coins behind the wall.
>You had to deal with it fast before your instincts forced you to kill it.
>After all, you wanted to get some information out of it just in case.
>You hoped the creature wasn't looking at the wall, else you'd have to rush it.
>You covered yourself in illusions once more and phased through the wall.
>The creature was luckily going through a closet, so it didn't notice you.
>You crept your way closer till you were directly behind it.
>And then you struck the back of its head.
>The impact shattered its upper body into hundreds of coins.
>For a moment you thought that you might have accidentally killed it.
>Fortunately for you, it quickly proved that it was, in fact, still alive.
>"Please! I beg of you! Don't kill me!" it started saying while the coins started rolling to reform the body.
>You quickly closed the closet, keeping the creature split in two.
>A pathetic display.
>All bark and no bite.
>"I told you to leave, and you didn't listen," you stated coldly.
>"Please don't kill me! Is this your house?! I'm sorry I didn't know that this was your house!" muttered the creature, clearly afraid for its life.
>You picked up one of the coins and put it between your molars.
>"W-what are you doing?" asked the shaking pile of money.
>"Making good on a threat. Now answer my questions or I'll continue with the demonstration," you stated.
>"Y-yes..." replied the afraid creature.
>"Do you work alone or in a group?" you asked.
>"In a group..." replied the creature.
>"Who is the leader?" you asked.
>"I-I can't tell you," replied the creature, shaking.
>You proceeded to bite into the edge of the coin with your molars.
>The only thing you heard was a pained shriek.
>"AIEEEE!!! HE GOES BY 71!!! OH GOD, PLEASE STOP!!!" screamed out the creature.
>You started to really enjoy this.

>>58870414
Oof, sadistic.

>>58870414
>He goes by 71
A Victreebel, huh?

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>>58870374
>I'm going to demonstrate why coin ridges had to be invented
>"Woah... Cool it with the anti-semitic remarks."

>>58870374
I always thought coin ridges were for the blind to differentiate coins, like how the US Nickel and Quarter are similar sizes as are Pennies and Dimes, but the higher denomination has ridges.

>>58870773
Nope, it's because old coins used to be made with high purity silver and other precious metals, and some clever jerks started shaving the edges of coins to get some portion of the silver off them. The ridges were added to stop that form of theft.

>>58870796
They used to shake the bag of coins to get the metal to chip and flake so they could steal that too right? I watched Spice and Wolf in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on, but I caught the gist of it.

>>58870414
Layla seems to get pretty good with her illusions as of late, good for her! (And a menace for the rest of us)

Goldengho, how interesting. I somehow never made the connection that it was made of stacks of coins. It looked more like a melted, golden body to me. I wonder how its body works. If Joltik's supposed to be "alien" in terms of body shape, what is our gold surfer? Being just some sentient coins that can be separated physically must be unpleasent to the human psyche and feeling every scratch on every coin fills me with dread.

>That last sentence
No! Bad Layla!

>>58869903
Why do you think that? I'm curious. Is it the handling of the vehicle breakdown, the power tripping NCO and officers or the addressing higher-ups informally part?

>>58870903
>Why do you think that? I'm curious. Is it the handling of the vehicle breakdown, the power tripping NCO and officers or the addressing higher-ups informally part?
The high informality in general. There's a purpose to the rigid formality and adherence to the chain of command outside of theater, and that's to instill the discipline needed for things to keep functioning when individual elements are incapacitated or killed in action.

>>58871130
I’ve personally been assuming that this casual nature was going to come to a screeching halt after the orientation meeting or in the next couple days when things actually get started. Sort of a “feast tonight for tomorrow we fast”

>>58855676
Looks like Layla couldn't wait and decided to force the issue. Chancy move to be sure, but her timing is impeccable as it turns out. Not gonna like, the "chiming sound" made me think Chimecho at first.

>>58857885
Nick and Joel have some appealing chemistry, but I hope to see more of the differences in their personalities as we go forward.

Etienne just ignores Joel's plight - snow noodle is cold as ice it seems. Heh.

I see the roommates are instinct low like a lot of the characters from Pokemon Pit. Makes sense, I suppose - such individuals would be the most likely to pass basic psychological screening.

I do like the bit of self-awareness from Etienne regarding his situation, but it will benefit him to try and develop a less adversarial relationship with the noodle instincts.

The whole sawdust ring thing is alien to me - cultural titbits like that are always nice to get.

>>58869440
Oof. That's a little more bullshit than even Etienne wants to try cutting through all at once. I wonder if whatever happened to Joel is related to his transformation, or at least to the phenomenon generally.

"But you've also", "to society", and "you've been" should be "But you'd also", "to society as possible" and "you'd been"

>orders were orders
Except when Etienne disagrees with them, of course. :^)

Frankly, noodle, there's an overabundance of incompetence in most armed forces. Your snow-covered asses ain't special.

"that's been" should be "that'd been"

>fish finger faction
Dahahahaha! I'm learning so much about the Swiss military!

You'd think Joel would be more used to navigating as a smol bug if he was an early turner. Perhaps he needs to start learning how to crawl along walls.

Carrying a fellow soldier on your head might not be particularly professional, but it certainly is adorable. Speaking of, I guess Etienne doesn't want to be thought of as a pet or animal, but, mate, if you got the floof, flaunt it. Hopefully that too is something he can work on.

>>58869903
>>58871130
>>58871576
I mean I've never served myself, but to my understanding the way soldiers act when their officers aren't watching tends to be quite a bit different from how they act when the whistleheads ARE watching. Another thing to consider is that Switzerland has compulsory service, which is probably going to create a bit of a different culture from a fully volunteer force. Also, Miensha is actually Swiss and actually did that compulsory service, so he has an insider's perspective on what it's truly like.

>>58870414
Could that be protectiveness you're feeling, Layla? This Gholdengo should count himself very lucky that he's a ghost type and thus doesn't trigger the ol' murder reflex.

Neither of them were truly ready for such a confrontation and it shows from how they speak to each other. One wonders if Layla is disguising as a different Pokemon or if the Gholdengo is so ignorant he genuinely thinks he's advantaged against H. Zoro when the reverse is actually true.

The writing does feel a bit mechanical/stilted at moments for this one, I feel like.

I really like how you portray Gholdengo's biology, though. Normally, the first instance of Layla extending her sadism beyond just Copanon and animals would be purely horrifying and might even cause the audience to start losing sympathy for her, but because it's coin golem it manages to find the intersection of horror and comedy, taking the edge off (no pun intended) quite respectably. Gholdengo was a very savvy choice.

If we now have an entire gang of Pokemon criminals operating in the town, that really enhances Layla's impetus for finding Lucarioanon. Being so focused as he is on the big, visible daytime heroics, jackal boy could very well miss the sneaky night time robberies unless someone's there to ask him for his help with them.

>>58870574
Or at the outside it could be referring to Sinnoh dex no. 71, which is Gengar. I do like the idea of Victreebel crime boss, though.

>>58871130
>>58871576
Time for a mini cultural lesson! As Macho already mentioned, the Swiss armed forces mainly consists of militia units. Service is compulsory for every adult Swiss man (It's voluntary for women). Not everyone serves in the military, though. During recruitment (that's where the story is right now) you go through the selection process.
If you're unfit, you either pay more taxes until you're 30 (no service at all), serve in civil defence (i.e. supporting emergency services during natural disasters), or the Swiss Civilian Service (helping out in nursing homes, cleaning up undergrowth in key areas, helping out in museums etc.). Because of that, the recruitment process is formal, but not strict.
Military service comes in two flavours too: serve in one go (takes one year) or do the usual service of 18 weeks of recruitment school and then have 3 or 4 week long repetition courses every year for a few years (until you're around 30). Most do the latter.
RS consist of 6 weeks of basic training (weapon handling, first aid etc.), 6 weeks of specialised training (tankers gonna tank, scouts gonna scout), and the last 6 weeks are military exercises. The hierarchy is enforced until around week 17, sometimes even for the full 18 weeks depending on your role. The rest of RS is still formal, but friendlier.
The repetition courses still have a hierarchy, but it's very collegial throughout. It honestly feels more like you meet old friends after your first RC. This includes the company commander and other higher-ups. Again, this differs based on your function.
As an NCO you lead through authority during RS, while you lead with authenticity in RC (if you're not some power-tripping dick). Don't get me wrong though, if a private misbehaves – especially while handling loaded weapons – I'll give them the Gunnery Sergeant Hartman treatment.

To bring it back on topic: Etienne nearly fully served out his RCs, while Nick and Joel still somewhat have that RS mindset.

>>58872108
My American mind can not comprehend this. I’m looking forward to more

Went back and read the Diancie/Sandslash story, I liked the landscape descriptions and the idea of a Pokemon field researcher. The description of the big roll down to Diancie was good too. If you're still around, anon, sorry it took me so long but I hope you make more.

>>58851056
And now I've caught up with the rest of what I missed. I really liked the day one chapter too. We've never had a character basically just go back to bed, which is probably what I'd do.

>>58872108
Interesting. Well, looking forward to the next part!

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>A few days have passed since your encounter with the sudowoodo.
>It hasn’t moved since then but you’re just glad it’s somewhere else.
>You’ve mostly been trying to get better at typing.
>Since your change your WPM has taken a nose dive.
>The fact that your claws are starting to scratch off the surface of the keys doesn’t help
>Once you order some new keycaps you might be able to start working online again.
>Although that won’t last long either, your boss is going to want to see you in the office soon, she was already pestering you about it before you turned.
>You’ve been running away from it but you’re probably going to have to start living like a normal person again. As much as you can at least.
>Work, rent, cleaning, cooking, shopping, driving, all that mundane crap you barely thought twice about is now a logistical nightmare.
>The cherry on top was dealing with all the new urges you feel.
>You’ve been really nostalgic about the smell of salt water recently, the last time you were at the beach was years ago with your folks and-
>Crap
>They probably deserve to know what's happened to you.
>There’s too much to think about, you need to cool off.
>You assume it’s because you’re a giant sea bug now but the feeling of moving water over your face is quite relaxing, almost meditative.
>It lets you think clearly.
>Water bill be damned, long, cold showers are nice.
>Nice, but you need more.
>Only once you’re under the running water do you realize how dry you are.
>For once not an unfamiliar feeling, like taking a sip of water and then draining the glass once you recognize how thirsty you are.
>You need actual flowing water, not a shower or faucet, but something larger that you can submerse yourself in.
>You remember a nearby park that you passed through occasionally, you never saw it, but on the map that was posted up there was a small stream by one of the trails.
>You carefully turn the knob in the shower and the water stops.

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>>58874751
>You spent a good chunk of yesterday planning this outing.
>It’s a weekday, so most people will be at work.
>You decided to make the trek to the local park early in the morning before anyone got up.
>The idea you had was that you would get to the stream early in the morning and by the time you had your fill of the water it would be late enough for the morning rush to have passed and you could make your way home without encountering any traffic.
>You felt a little silly, avoiding people like this. More and more pokemon were popping up left and right and people were getting used to seeing them.
>Maybe it would be fine if you just walked around in broad daylight like this but you didn’t want to take chances.
>You didn’t put it past the government to start experimenting and cutting people open.
>The trip over to the park was mercifully uneventful.
>The sun hadn’t quite peeked over the horizon but there was enough early morning light to see.
>The park itself was quiet, the rustling of leaves making for a pleasant white noise.
>You walked down a familiar trail taking in the peaceful environment when something made your antennae twitch.
>Beneath it all was the sound of flowing water.
>Following the sound led you off the trail and through some shrubbery.
>The treeline came to an abrupt end, giving way to the gravel-lined river bank.
>You stepped past the treeline but hesitated for a moment.
>In the early morning light the water was black, obscuring its true depth. It looked fairly wide, hopefully it was enough that you could fully submerge yourself.
>The first step into the river let you know how cold it was, and that you didn’t particularly mind that.
>You continued walking, expecting more resistance from the water than it gave you.
>Your feet surged through the water unimpeded, sinking lower with each step.
>It took until the water rose above your hips for you to realize that you never tried to see if you could breathe underwater.

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>>58874753
>Might as well try before you accidentally drown yourself.
>At first your human instincts took over, you closed your eyes tight and held your breath, expecting the unpleasant feeling of water rushing into your nose as you gingerly dipped your head below the surface.
>The unpleasant feeling never came, however. Only the welcoming chill of the water.
>You fluttered your eyes open, once, then twice, expecting them to start stinging.
>The stinging never came, but you still couldn’t see much in the early morning light.
>Now for the moment of truth.
>You hesitate for a moment, but eventually open your mouth.
>Nothing happens.
>Not exactly “nothing” you feel river water flood your mouth but not much else.
>You try to draw in breath.
>You can feel the water filling a cavity in your body, but not much else.
>There’s no stinging or coughing, just the feeling of water filling some mysterious chamber in your body.
>You raise your head above the water and try to . . . breathe? again.
>It takes a few . . . contractions to clear the water from what you assumed were your lungs.
>Only now do you realize you have no idea how you breathe.
>The chamber that you assumed were lungs was clearly something else, trying to hold your breath again revealed that you practically had no limit on how long you could hold.
>In every other metric besides keeping you alive it was the same as your human lungs.
>You could still make noise with it despite how impossible it was to form coherent words, and “breathing” with it was indistinguishable from when you did it as a human.
>The reality of being a giant magical crustacean sets in again, you probably had gills (God only knows where) and they let you fill your blood with oxygen.
>That cavity in your upper torso was probably only for making noises, if you had to take a wild guess, so it didn’t matter if it was underwater.
>Maybe getting cut open by the feds won’t be so bad, at least you would die slightly less ignorant.

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>>58874757
>The clouds hanging over the city to the east are starting to turn a brilliant red.
>the sun is rising, so you should probably do what you came for before someone spots you.
>you’ll have all the time in the world to ponder the finery of your respiratory system once you're safe under water.
>You begin trudging towards the middle of the river again, more of your body sinking beneath the surface with every step.
>Unfortunately by the time you reached the middle of the stream the water only came up to about your eyes.
>When you hunch a bit further your face lowers beneath the surface.
>Sitting down actually lets you submerge the rest of your shell.
>You still can’t see much but you’re finally under water now.
>It’s pretty cool that you can breathe underwater but now that you’re here you’re not sure what to do.
>You didn’t plan anything beyond “hang out in a river for a few hours”
>For now you’ll just sit down and wait for it to get a little brighter.
>For some reason the darkness of the water doesn’t bother you that much
>In fact, it’s quite comforting.
>Closing your eyes you begin to relax.
>The weight of the surrounding water pushes down on every inch of your shell. It’s not much but the difference between this and the air is noticeable. It’s nice, like a weighted blanket.
>At the same time you feel much lighter, the weight of your armored carapace is no longer a burden but an anchor that keeps you rooted to the riverbed. Your human side tells you that it should be much harder to move down here but you feel like you're floating effortlessly through the water.
>The current pushes gently against your antennae, bringing the scents of the river to your attention. It’s earthy and fresh, with a hint of decay. Not the decay of something rotting, but more so that of freshly dug-up soil, black and rich. That’s the closest thing you can compare it to, in all reality it smells like nothing you’ve encountered before.

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>>58874759
>You begin to feel something moving in the water.
>Fluctuations and disturbances in the water feed into your antennae, and with some instinctual bug-math going on behind your eyes you can pinpoint whatever is causing it.
>It’s kinda like how you can tell what direction a sound comes from.
>The source is close but small, lazily drifting with the current of the river.
>Slowly out of the murk and darkness a fish appears.
>Just a normal mundane fish, probably a bass or something. Maybe a trout.
>It passes by close enough to see its glassy eyes before disappearing back into the dark.
>With all of this pokemon nonsense going on you find it hard to remember that there’s an entire world that just keeps moving.
>Despite all of your anxiety and paranoia the rest of the world kept on trucking.
>At least the normal creatures haven't been outcompeted and driven to extinction.
>Well not yet anyways.
>The presence of normal fish also indicates that there’s most likely no pokemon around to decimate the population.
>At last you can truly relax, as the largest and most dangerous creature in this river, nothing should bother you.
>You close your eyes again and feel the water more clearly.
>More small creatures approach, slowly drifting with the flow.
>You can track them as they pass, easily monitoring their position in 3D space relative to you.
>It’s surprisingly satisfying, even meditative.
>The first few fish give you a wide berth, but subsequent ones get closer and closer until they act as if you're just another stone on the riverbed.
>Lost in a meditative trance “watching” the occasional fish swim past you hardly notice when a pleasant warmth spreads across your shell.
>It’s a nice reprieve from the cool water, like a warm breeze.
>You crack your eyes open to find its source only to nearly jump in shock.
>The sun has fully risen and is well on its way across the sky. You’ve no idea how long you have been sitting here, but the morning has long passed.

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>>58874761
>You can only worry about how much time you’ve let slip through your fingers before something catches your attention.
>Something else is making its way down the river. Something much larger than the fish.
>You can feel its rough, choppy movements coming from the surface further upstream.
>While much clearer in daylight, there is still a decent amount of floating silt to obscure your vision.
>You can see a shadow moving across the surface, and judging by the splashing and bubbles you would say it was something swimming.
>As it draws closer a human-ish form resolves, performing a lazy backstroke to tread water.
>All hopes of it passing without noticing you are dashed when it drops below the surface.
>A short, blue monkey is looking back at you with curious eyes.
>It’s definitely a pokemon, and one you actually remember.
>In an effort to stay informed you actually tried to play Pokemon white via emulation.
>That only lasted until you started having nightmares of yorkshire terriers and prairie dogs.
>But you do remember being given this exact monkey in-game.
>It’s a water type, so no type advantage against you, and you’ve got roughly 200 pounds on it. You should be able to scare this guy off easy-peasy.
>You raise your claws from their folded position across your lap and try to menace the panpour with a throaty growl.
>Its curious look quickly shifts into a sly grin. Doing nothing but folding its arms, it lets the current carry it closer to you.
>That smug look never drops even as you snip your claws at it, the distance closing with every second.
>Damn, this guy’s good.
>Fine. If it wants to play like that. . .
>Once it’s close enough you shoot out your right claw, intending to give it a nice hard poke in the chest to make it fuck off.
>Only for the monkey to deftly avoid your strike like a feather in the wind and swim right up to your face.

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>>58874763
>You flail wildly in a panic trying to get it away from you but the panpour effortlessly weaves between your wild sweeps.
>Consumed by panic your eyes snap shut and you flail helplessly for a few seconds more.
>Once you realize you haven't been torn to bloody sheds your eyes peek back open.
>The monkey is clutching at its sides and kicking with wild glee in the water.
>It’s laughing
>It’s laughing at you
>It’s laughing hard enough that it quickly surfaces to breathe before coming back down.
>Still with that cocksure grin plastered on its face.
>Caution be damned, you really want to kick this thing in the head.
>Quickly it darts back into your personal space, narrowly avoiding your claw when it barrels through the water.
>It’s paw snaps out and taps your armor, pulling away before you can catch it in between your pincers.
>It quickly circles around to deliver another quick tap before avoiding your retaliation.
>The process repeats itself, each miss on your part making the heat in your face grow.
>It’s toying with you.
>The joy of getting a rise out of you is clear as day on its face.
>Fine then.
>Another quick tap and it flings itself away despite the lack of retaliation.
>Again, it tries to bait you but to no avail.
>It quickly figures out your plan and swims back around
>This time it stops directly in front of you, deliberately pressing a finger into your armored shell all while looking you in the eye.
>There is a beat of silence.
>You surge forward, using your little claws to try and grab the panpour.
>Only to find its mocking face filling your vision. With unrestrained glee it drags its tongue across your face.
>A cold sensation fills you, like something tugging at your very core, tickling your soul.
>The rage is instantly replaced by a primal fear.
>Faster than you thought possible your claw sweeps through the water and delivers a devastating backhand to the monkey, rocketing it out of the water.

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>>58874767
>Pins and needles shoot down your body and it feels like inch-thick hairs are standing on end on your back.
>You burst out of the water desperate to be in a familiar environment.
>Knowing that you don’t have proper lungs doesn’t stop you from panting, desperate to draw in air even if it does nothing.
>The panpour is hunched over in front of a tree and clutching its arm and shooting you a dirty look.
>You would almost feel bad if it didn’t just do whatever the hell that was.
>It takes a deep breath before shooting a stream of water into your face and running off into the foliage.
>You need to take a moment, just standing there and breathing is all you can do while the panic slowly drains out of your body.
>A realization comes to you that you’ve never actually hit someone before.
>Like actually striking someone with the intent to harm.
>You managed to dodge fights in highschool and religiously avoid the seedy parts of town so you were never in a position where you needed to fight.
>Unfortunately the memory of smacking the panpour out of the water is clear and tactile.
>The feeling of its softer body yielding to your iron-hard shell is burned into your mind.
>If that was a normal animal or God-forbid another person that kind of force could kill.
>Yes, you are scary. But only now do you realize you are dangerous.
>You hate how good it feels.
>It takes a hot minute but all of the angry neurochemicals that make your heart pound slowly seep out of your grey matter.
>Now you’re just drained.
>All that flip flopping between extremes saps the energy from your body and you really just want to be back in the water enjoying the warm sunlight.
>You look longingly into the water, but just can’t do it.
>If another pokemon tried to pick a fight with you you might actually go into cardiac arrest. That or just collapse into a pathetic heap and cry.
>Although saying “pick a fight” is probably hyperbole.

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>>58874770
>The panpour was obviously trying to have some fun with you and you freaked out a little too hard.
>Not that it wasn’t a little justified after it crossed the line of doing. . . that, to you.
>It was probably a move of some sort but just thinking about the memory makes your skin crawl.
>With a weary sigh you start to make your way back to the river bank.
>You wish you could still use your phone, or at least thought of bringing a laptop.
>You can’t tell how close it is to the lunch rush or if it’s already passed.
>Screw that, you just want to get home.
>You take one last look at the river, perhaps one day you’ll come back when you’re a better man, or once you’re desperate enough.
>Standing on the opposite bank is a tall, lime-green figure.
>The bird from the gas station.
>It’s looking your way again.
>There’s a tense silence as the two of you stare down at each other.
>It’s faint, but a shrill ringing grows in your ears.
>The tinnitus gets worse as the staredown goes on, but you can’t look away.
>A migraine blooms behind your eyes as something tries to force its way in.
>An image flashes in your mind's eye, a large purple bug in pearlescent white armor is giving you a death glare from across the river.
>More images try to show themselves, but it all ends up as a disorientating blur of colors.
>Like a lightning bolt to the head, words and sounds are pushed into your brain.
> NEED
>There is a chittering screech, almost resembling your own.
> DANGER
>The sound of roaring flames fills your ears.
> HELP
>Something weeps, a sickeningly familiar sound.
>Your brain suddenly rejects the bird. Violently.
>It lets out a squawk as it doubles over, finally breaking the stoic visage
>It catches its breath before righting itself.
>For a brief moment it is surrounded by a corona of otherworldly light and in the next moment it is simply gone.
>Yes, going straight home sounds like a great idea.

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>>58874771
That's all I've got for now.
Sorry for not posting last thread, I've got a full time job called procrastinating and its got paid overtime

>>58874775
No worries man, thanks for posting more. Poor Golisopod Guy is not having a good time. A massive and intimidating nervous wreck is not a good combination for anyone's well-being.

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>>58874775
I'll gladly wait another two threads if it means you post pure Galisopod kino – What a great read! Really liked the description of what he felt while in the stream.
He also seems to be self-aware about his paranoia and that it wasn't healthy, good for him!

I wonder what the deal with the Xatu is. Very mysterious and cryptic.

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>>58874775
Beautifully written piece. This segment here really got to me.
>At last you can truly relax, as the largest and most dangerous creature in this river, nothing should bother you.
>You close your eyes again and feel the water more clearly.
>More small creatures approach, slowly drifting with the flow.
>You can track them as they pass, easily monitoring their position in 3D space relative to you.
>It’s surprisingly satisfying, even meditative.
>The first few fish give you a wide berth, but subsequent ones get closer and closer until they act as if you're just another stone on the riverbed.
>Lost in a meditative trance “watching” the occasional fish swim past you hardly notice when a pleasant warmth spreads across your shell.
>It’s a nice reprieve from the cool water, like a warm breeze.
>You crack your eyes open to find its source only to nearly jump in shock.
>The sun has fully risen and is well on its way across the sky. You’ve no idea how long you have been sitting here, but the morning has long passed.
You nailed the serenity, but for me personally, it also felt disturbing. Despite being a fellow procrastinator, I’ve got an existential fear of time “passing me by” so the idea of being Zen’d out enjoying the pokemon instinct but losing half a day freaks me out.

>>58874771
Good to have you back, it was fun watching the big guy get punked by a route 1 regular.
>>58874775
What a funny coincidence, we have the exact same job.

...do you think the Japanese schools would start going on trips to PokePark Kanto like they would museums so the youth can be "better informed" about what being around Pokemon might be like?
https://youtu.be/7FJNAKZOqhc

>>58875952
My culture is not your costume!

>>58876196
Yes it is

バンプ

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>As the Pokemon population grows, support groups begin to form for the various quirks of each species.
>Some of these groups are more fun than others.

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>>58879056
The bird groups would be fun. Unless a “feral” shape vs “anthro” shape debate breaks out.

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I could use some input. Should Professor D update his profile picture on the staff ID and website to be his new self? I can come up with reasons why, on a different day or in a different mood he would either fully disapprove of it or fully go for it. Or is it better to leave it ambiguous and just hear him waffle back and forth?

>>58879776
How long would it take for him to get tired of people being surprised or upset, for whatever reason, that they have a Pokemon teaching the class without knowing about it first?

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>>58879776
ProfD has been pretty accepting of his new self so far, I don't see a reason why he wouldn't update his ID. Maybe the sysadmin would add the possibility to add both pre and post turned pictures just to make things easier for everyone who knew him before?

>>58879776
Split it down the middle, half human and half pokemon

>>58879776
I think 779 and 821 raised a good idea. Put a little slash through the pfp and put his human self on one side of the slash and his Pokemon form on the other side.

>>58879921
An ironically versus-mode esque depiction for a man who is relatively at peace with himself.

Bonk

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>Don’t give up your humanity they said
>Humans have a better life they said
>You’ll die of starvation or infection they said
This doesn’t really feel like a better standard of living…

>>58882703
Maybe some folks really do have the time of their life by giving up on the trappings of human civilization.

>>58883107
I like camping, I dunno if I’d like camping if it meant never sleeping in a real bed again.
Still, a story about someone deliberately going innawoods (unlike Simon getting dragged innawoods) could be cool.

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>>58883107
Don’t mind them, they’re just being dramatic.

Conk

Donk

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>Wake up turned into a Chatot
>When you talk it sounds like a sentence mixed YTP
>When you sing, it sounds like a Mouth mashup
OR
>Wake up turned into a Porygon
>When you talk, it sounds like a random publicly available text to speech software
>When you sing, it sounds like AutoTune

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>Shillmon
>Shillmon
The worst possible fate either way

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>...So I was right.
>All this time and I-
>For a while there, I almost... lost sight of her.
>I thought I'd just... move on from my childhood obsession.
>But here I am.
>The proof a part of me always wanted.
>The proof that, to the child I was, felt self-evident in the game, the manga, the animations...
>I always knew she was telling me something.
>Like seeing a mirror of myself.
>Our name never felt like a coincidence.
>I started thinking it might've been but...
>All those years of looking into the lore, calling myself that...
>I thought I was just being obsessive, but... It all had a purpose in the end.
>This all felt like a dream.
>And then I saw them for myself.
>It... still felt like a stretch...
>But... now with this...
>A real Mega Stone.
>It felt close but still not quite right...
>However... today...
>I woke up as an Altaria.
>Out of every single Pokemon.
>I woke up as my favorite, specially because it was on her team.
>...
>It was meant to be.
>It always was, with the ruins of the gods' city so close...
>All those times I felt like I was meant... To follow her steps.
>It was never so clear, not until now.
>I knew I was meant for more.
>And now I can finally reach it.
>...
>For my own Felicia's sake...
>If I'm the one who knows how to protect our world through all these changes...
>Then...
>I'll do it the way that the other me showed me in the game.
>Even if it's hard to do it on my own.
>I'm the only one who can do it.
>And for everyone's sake now...
>I must.
>I need to gather the Key Stones.
>Or else...
>Our world might not be ready for what these changes are bringing to reality...

>>58886200
Yeesh, I would not want to be one of the turnees with a hero complex. Just imagine the disappointment when it finally, finally sets in that there was no rhyme or reason for it. Poor guy would probably have to be put on suicide watch.

>>58886200
Buddy needs his meds

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>people around the world are turning into pokemon
>oh boy i sure hope i wake up as a legendary!
>wake up
>want to kms

Figured you guys would like this video.
It fit what the vibe is here.
https://youtu.be/X2vF1bgmBl4?si=B_fsrTF9oeAs0tgN

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I like the mood of this piece for this thread.

>>58886887
>Want to kms
Isn't that basically the end of the book? The guy turned into a cockroach, and since he was backwards he couldn't move? And he was turning so horrible even his family left him, and died alone?

>>58883776
This is oddly topical to the thread. Good find.

>>58885962
Where's that pic from?

>>58886200
Altaria with main character syndrome is a cool new spin on all the hero talk. It reads like a one-shot, but I'd be interested to read more!

>>58888202
Gregor Samsa could move around just fine. He was a burden to his family and after he overheard them talk badly about him, he starved himself.

>>58888319
https://nrosa01.github.io/pmd-quiz-online/

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>>58888423
>You're running a marathon, and at the start you fall flat on your face what will you do?
>I'm not giving up yet!
>Just give up.
>Shout, "START OVER!"

>”That entirely depends on my emotions at the time and the context”
>”How much have I been training? Is it safe for me to get back? Is it even allowed?”
>”I understand this is supposed to measure how resolute I am in my character, but that isn’t constant across every situation.”
>”Am I supposed to pick what I think reflects my values as a whole? Doesn’t that risk pigeonholing me into my perceived self based on my emotions at this moment in time, rather than trying to capture my true identity?”
>>”SIR, We have 64 questions to go through. Please just pick one!”

Bumpy road ahead, huh?

>>58889501
When is it not?

For your consideration:
>Overworked government agent (human) that has to suddenly become an expert on every single Pokémon and determine what percent disability each one is qualified as
>Without even realizing it, they are inadvertently creating a real world Pokédex for the formerly human

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>>58888816
This is fun idea
>>58888423
>>You see a big and comfortable bed. Your first reaction is to…
>>Jump on it!
>>Belly flop!
>>Curl up

>Curl up, easy.
>But if that’s a symptom of anything I’ve had it since long before I turned into a cat.

>>You have a very important test tomorrow! What do you do?
>>Study all night long
>>Wing it! I’m sure it’ll be fine
>>Test?! I think I have a fever…

>Did my mom write this quiz? How many more questions are gonna be about studying?
>I flunked out, what do you think my study habits were like?
>>Sir, this is a standardized exam, the questions are the same for everyone
>Whatever. I’m a burnout. Just write that for all the school questions and stop asking them.

>>Do you want to be taller someday?
>>Totally!
>>Of course not.

>Oh shove it up your ass, I’m outta here.
>*struggles to open the door, refuses help*

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>>58869440
>Your gaze swept across the L-shaped room to find a free spot at the edges. It was a spacious hall with lots of tables scattered around. Along the walls were large shelves, displaying brochures detailing all the various army functions one could be assigned to.
>Almost all of the tables were occupied. Some of the recruits were browsing brochures, while many were scrolling through their phones and others were socialising.
>Quite a few were looking in your direction too.
>You guessed there were at least 200 people in here.
>However, you couldn't see much around the corner.
>There was all sorts of noise and chatter around you.
>Suddenly, your left ear twitched.
>Joel was poking it with his leg.
"Cut it out up there!" you commanded.
>The poking stopped.
>"Sorry..." Joel replied. "Your ears were swivelling around and I got curious."
>They did? You hadn't noticed...
>Nick flew past you to a table by the outer wall of the wing, near the corner, where there were still chairs available.
>Some recruits ducked their heads as the bird flew just above them.
>You followed him, but had to weave your way through the maze of tables and people.
>You were kinda envious of Nick.
>You could've turned into something with a helpful ability such as flight.
>But you turned into a humanoid mink with whips instead of thumbs.
>At least you were still fairly compatible with human infrastructure.
>That was one thing you couldn't have envied him for.
>You couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like to live as a Joltik or another Pokémon with an entirely different body shape.
>How horrific it must be to navigate our world as a ten centimetre big bug...
>You thought about how the little play session with Benny the cat would have gone.
>Probably a lot less enjoyable...
>Just the thought of it gave you goose bumps.
>You were trapped in a Furry's wet dream, but it could have been so much worse.

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>>58890680
>Despite their drastically altered bodies, Nick and Joel seemed in tune with their new lives, perhaps they could help you out with tackling your ever-present dysphoria?
>You were torn from your daydreams once again, as Joel was climbing down from your head and onto your right shoulder.
>The urge to swat him away came back while he moved around.
>You arrived at the table where Nick had asked if the two seats were free. They nodded.
>You joined them, taking the last free seat and placing your bag on the ground beside you.
>"Thanks for the ride, Etienne!" Joel said and jumped from your shoulder onto the table.
>He jumped surprisingly far.
>Once landed, he had a quick look around, then walked over to the newspaper lying on the other side.
>Nick sat on his chair to your right.
>His head barely cleared the edge of the table, but he didn't seem to mind. Quite the opposite, actually.
>The two recruits you sat with didn't concern themselves with you, as they were staring at their phones. Luckily they weren't the gawking kind, nor were they very talkative.
>The table had the perfect position for you to see the other end of the bent room, though.
>It was a bit larger than expected, but still furnished with tables, shelves and recruits.
>There was a small lounge in the corner, but what was sitting on the sofa was way more interesting.
>A group of four women were chatting to each other.
>Sitting with them was a white and blue Pokémon with long, curled-up ears and yellow eyes.
>It was happily talking with its group and didn't notice its fellow Pokémon on the other side of the room.
>And neither did your two fellows.
>Nick was just staring holes in the air, while Joel was preoccupied with reading the newspaper.
>You didn't read the news much because you felt it was bad for your mental health.
>Arguably even more so than living with a Shaolin weasel in your head.
>Now that you were back in the militia's limelight, you should probably start informing yourself again.

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>>58890691
>You leaned over the table and put your paw on the newspaper.
"Hold on tight or move off for a sec, I want to read too," you warned Joel, who turned to face you.
>"Uh, sure," he replied and braced himself for the pull.
>You carefully slid the paper towards you.
>Joel stepped off the newspaper, once it was in front of you to let you read as well.
>Joel had been reading the section dedicated to the Pokémon phenomena.
>The whole double page was filled with updates to current happenings in Switzerland and Europe.
>You skimmed through the segments.
>A Frenchman had turned into a Swinub and became a famous truffle and porcino mushroom hunter in the Provence region.
>There was a picture of said Swinub, where he was proudly standing next to around 5 kg of truffles and procinos. He looked quite pleased with his spoils.
>There was another debunked sighting of a Lapras in Loch Ness.
>Some Berlin citizens had misidentified a boar for a Pyroar... again.
>Medical scientists at the University of Zurich have apparently begun developing their own diagnostic procedure for turnee's mental health issues, as they believe that Pokémon Induced Psychosis Syndrome (PIPS) has significant gaps in the actual help available to those affected.
>Huh, that was an interesting one.
>The few paragraphs didn't go into detail on what they are doing specifically, nor what PIPS is supposed to be.
"Does anyone of you know what this PIPS is?" you asked your accompanying Pokémon.
>They had turned some time ago, they gotta know what it is.
>"I heard of it, but I don't know what it is exactly," Joel replied. "What about you, feathers?"
>Nick shot Joel a quick glare.
>"Yes, I have," he began. "They diagnosed me a few weeks ago. There's two parts to it: One that diagnoses your memories, and the other that identifies your instincts and urges, I think."

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>>58890702
"Interesting, how does it work?", you asked out of curiosity.
>"It boils down to getting bombarded with questions about your past and then trying to figure out what Pokémon-specific alterations you have," he explained.
"What alterations?" you inquired.
>"Things like you told us before," he continued. "Instincts, urges or atypical thought patterns. Merely psychological of course."
>Nick presented himself, wings spread wide. "They can obviously see what happend to you physically." he said.
>Joel spoke up. "I wonder if they're gonna use PIPS for the medical examinations this afternoon." he thought out loud.
>"Could be." Nick replied.
"Well, thanks for the insights," you said to the fiery robin.
>Your news reading was cut short, because a black-haired, middle-aged man in uniform had entered the room and demanded everyone's attention.
>The room fell silent.
>He asked everyone to follow him to the conference room for the commander's speech.
>The room got pretty lively after that, as everyone stood up and started following the self-announced bear guide.
>You grabbed your bag, and let Joel climb on your arm again.
>This time, he stayed on your forearm.
>You waited until the half of the people cleared out of the room.
>While you waited, the group of women and the feline Pokémon passed you.
>You exchanged glances, but no word was spoken.
>They walked out of the room shortly after, and you three started to follow the rest of the crowd as well.
>"I didn't expect a fourth turnee showing up," Joel remarked. "That was a Meowstic, right?"
>Nick shrugged. "Dunno, definitely not gen four or earlier..." he said.
>You weren't sure yourself.
"Aren't Meowstic supposed to be blue with white accents and blue eyes?" you asked.
>"Nah, I'm pretty sure its just the female colouration," Joel replied.
>You never saw it any other colour than blue, but you took the electric-types knowledge at face value.

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>>58890709
>You took a left out of the waiting room into the hallway.
>From the looks of it the conference room was at the far end of the corridor.
>While on your way, you three made bets on what the commander was going to say.
>Joel bet that he will tell everyone how important their service is.
>Nick was certain that the commander would spew a whole lot of nonsense about camaraderie, "finding ones limits", and how the military definitely isn't as terrible as its reputation.
>You bet that he would tell everyone that "we are living in difficult times", while being as vague as possible to avoid stirring up controversy.
>You all agreed that he will definitely talk about the Pokémon phenomenon in great detail while butchering every single 'Mons name.
>Your group reached the door to the big conference hall.
>As always, the early birds made themselves comfortable in the back, while the rest had to make do with the front and mid rows.
>You looked around for free spaces.
>You spotted two free chairs in the mid rows near the edge and pointed your feathery friend towards it.
>Nick didn't hesitate and flew straight to the seats to reserve them for you ground-dwellers.
>You saw him land and shoo away some recruits that wanted to sit beside him.
>His chirping was remarkably loud.
>You squeezed your way through the crowd to get to your reserved seat and sat down.
>Joel moved up to your head again to see over the crowd.
>Unfortunately, you were short and could barely see over the people sitting in front of you yourself.
>Nick initially sat on the seat of the chair, but then hopped onto the backrest so he could see a little better.
>However, his momentum almost caused the chair to tip over.
>You immediately put your paw on the seat to stop it from tipping any further and put it back on all its four legs.
>Nick looked pale, even through the plumage.
>"Merci," he said quietly.
"*Service !*" you replied.
>Now you waited.
>The clock on the left wall showed 08:54

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>>58890724
>You waited until nine o'clock.
>A grey-haired man in uniform shuffled to the podium. Three thick horizontal stripes adorned his right collar.
>The colonel welcomed everyone to the facility and then began to inform you about what is happening the next two days.
>He told you about what the military does, what alternatives there were, and how you should all be proud to serve under the flag.
>He checked every mental box you three bet on.
>It took an agonising thirty minutes for the speech to end.
>You lost track of everything he said after ten.
>After he finished and left the podium, the bear guide stepped up and instructed you on your next tasks.
>The first examinations began at ten.
>As you were in group three, you had half an hour to get ready and move to the sports hall.
>Since you did not have to change clothes, that meant thirty minutes of free time.
>You stood up and left the room with the others.
>Maybe you'd bump into that Meowstic and have a chat?

---

Finally done with this part. That took longer than anticipated... The next parts will be shorter. 5k words are a pain to keep consistent and I probably messed up somewhere along the way.


Rentry is up-to-date. Thanks for all the feedback!
https://rentry.org/whipping-back-into-action#part-3-the-triumvirate

I started to make a glossary with some of the terms and idioms I use and added it into a table at the end of the page. If you find anything that isn't in there yet, but probably should, please tell me.

>>58888423
Thanks for the link, Anon! I got Pikachu and Charmander as well... I call rigged!

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>>58888816
>>58890241
Hell yeah! Joining too!

>>Do you like lively parties?
>>Yes.
>>No.

>No. All I need is some good friends, a beer, a nice vista, and something to talk about. Some Jazz wouldn't be wrong either.

>>You're in a completely silent assembly when you suddenly hear someone pass gas! How do you react?
>>Roll on the floor laughing!
>>Just let it go by...
>>Who was that?!

>What are those toddler questions? Is this what Nick had to go through too a few weeks ago?
>>Yes, these are state of the art questions specifically created to test your mental wellbeing.
>Yeah, I doubt that... First option with friends, third one with anyone else. The nerves...

>>Have you ever thought that if you dug in your backyard you could find buried treasure?
>>Yes.
>>No.

>Does the backyard come with a free house?
>>No...?
>Then no.

>>Do you want to be taller someday?
>>Totally!
>>Of course not.

>Is this supposed to be funny? Do you have ANY idea what I'd give to be tall again?
>>How tall were you before turning?
>206 centimetres...
>>I see...

>>If you saw someone doing something bad, could you scold them?
>>Of course!
>>Not really.

>Just scolding them?
>>What do you mean?
>I made two privates sob after they repeatedly disobeyed my orders at the shooting range.
>>... Isn't that a bit excessive?
>No, it isn't! I'd rather spill some tears than seeing the brain of a comrade painted all over the wall.

>>You fail miserably! Everyone found out, and they're disappointed in you... What do you do?
>>Try and hide.
>>Think of an excuse.
>>Drop down and play dead!

>Is this the question to get into the upper echelon of the army ranks?
>>No, it isn't. Please refrain from insulting military staff.
>Neither and only over my dead body. You either stand up to your mistakes or you're a spineless prick!
>>... Option three, then.
>Im a mink, not a damn opossum...

>>58888816
I genuinely have this problem and have trouble with personality quizzes because of it.
>>58888887
>>58888888
>>58888889

>>58889945
I can already see Zoroarks and Hisuian Zoroarks being on opposite sides in that regard.

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>>58888423
>>”Do you want to be taller someday?”
>Yeah, but back to my human height. I don’t need to be a baller.
>>”When you see a switch, do you feel an overwhelming urge to flip it?”
>Who doesn’t, even a little bit? Whether its tiny or a Frankenstein style, isn’t it fun to play with them?
>>”You see a cake one day past its expiration date. Do you eat it?”
>Yeah, most food is good for about a week after the date on the label. If it smells, looks, or tastes funny, though, toss it.
>>”The people at the next table are singing for someone’s birthday. What do you do?”
>C’mon, you’ve got to sing along! Your birthday isn’t actually for you. It’s for others to celebrate being a part of your life. Or, if you’re in it for the free dessert, you’re paying for it in embarrassment.
>>”You see a big comfortable bed, do you jump on it, flop on it, or curl up on it?”
>I’m not a child so no jumping. Probably flop onto it. I’m a spread-eagle sleeper.
>>”People around you are laughing at something you think is boring, do you play along, do nothing, or it depends?”
>That’s like 40% of my job here. Yes, 6 7 indeed. That’s 13 against my 8. Hit or Stand?
>>”Hey, what’s that behind you!?”
>Nice try sir.
>>”You’re daydreaming when your friend sprays you with water. How do you react?”
>Kind of rude. I’ll laugh along, but he must realize this means war.
>>”You’ve just eaten a filling meal when dessert is brought out. What do you do?”
>Might as well have it. If it’s part of the meal, you’re already paying for it. Normally I’d get coffee to go with it, but that doesn’t sit right with me anymore. In another time, I probably would have skipped the dessert for another round and a nightcap after that
>>”Good news or bad news first?”
>Bad news first. Take the losing bets before paying the winners.
>>”Fascinating. Thank you for your time.”
>So, how long is this psychology conference in town?

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>>58891915
Also, PMD claims our feline casino dealer is Hasty and Sassy but surprisingly also a little Lonely. Interesting…

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>>58886200
>Tristana...
>I'd almost come to terms with us sharing the exact same name being a coincidence.
>It happens to players often.
>But I always felt like, when the characters addressed her...
>They addressed me, too.
>I think... I need to commit myself to this as much as she did in the game.
>This whole phenomenon bringing Mega Stones with it... I can only assume it also implies all of the lore I studied is truth.
>...all those years digging around the internet in junior high...
>I need to be on the lookout for any news about meteors.
>So far, we've only seen stones on Earth transform, but who's to say space isn't affected too?
>Then maybe a meteor could turn into Deoxys, and the ozone layer could...
>...
>Come on, Tristana, think.
>Think of what her... your people, stood for and taught her.
>Her role was an ancient one, but in this new world we're entering...
>I will be the first to stop this cycle of calamities.
>I must be.
>If a Rayquaza has already manifested itself in this world and we just haven't heard about it...
>Then...
>I need to be the one to summon it.
>But how did she do it...?
>She got the Teams to try and summon... the super ancient Pokémon...
>Maybe... It's too soon to take that leap.
>But what I can do, is hunt down the Key Stones.
>Just gotta keep an eye on the news, and mine with me.
>...I wonder if...
>Hah! Knew making this anklet for my cosplay at 1:1 scale was a good idea!
>It fits perfectly... as if it was always meant to be here...
>Hopefully it won't slip off, I forgot how skinny bird legs are...
>I can probably tighten it a little if I...
>...stupid fluffy wings...
>There.
>This won't be easy.
>It's not meant to be.
>But even if that's the case...
>Duty cares not if it's hard, only that it's done.
>I can't make the same mistakes she did, but her path is clearly the truth.
>Now, I just need to find my second Mega Stone and...
>Huh?
>...
>If that distant glimmer is any indication...
>Lore really is fate.
https://youtu.be/hn5Za-qg0sE

>>58892061
My life turned into a skullfuck sandwich again, so forgive me if my commentary is a little stunted...

>>58874771
Although his paranoia eclipses Lucarioanon's, bro is actually the more responsible of the two it seems. Him starting to embrace his new self at the stream is endearing.

>you have no idea how you breathe
>at least you would die slightly less ignorant
Both got genuine laughs out of me.

I love the descriptiveness of what Golisanon's experiencing under the water. It's good to have that focus on the new and unfamiliar parts of the experience, and it's definitely a more alien world Golisanon's been invited to enter than most of our other transformees.

Kind of a dodgy assumption that there's no other Pokemon in here, but, hey, if it gets our paranoid boy to finally relax after not having done so for what could easily be years - something to be said for doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. I love to see the upsides of more unusual transformations.

Huh. Suddenly water monke. Definitely not what I expected. Although, that means our boy is a Snivy stan. Based.

I find myself bruhfacing at both of their antics. Not that the monkey being a little shit or Golisanon losing his shit is off brand, but part of me still desperately wants to tell both of them to grow up. Do gotta feel for bro during the crashdown afterwards, though. Properly synergising empowering battle lust with transfixing fear isn't going to be easy, although he's lucky he became a Pokemon that kind of already does it naturally.

>sickeningly familiar sound
Shit...

Bird brain's chosen an extremely poor tree to go chirping up, but I have a feeling Golisanon's going to wind up having no choice but to listen. Definitely seeing some parallels to S&W in the vision and that's no bad thing.

Your stuff is really solid, man. So glad you're down to keep going with this.

>>58875315
Time is pointlessly passing most of us by anyway. Might as well be content.

>58879410
More likely the debate would center around wether to let in bats or that one kid from the clothing store who turned into a Magnemite. He technically "flies".

>58883759
Definitely. I was kinda hoping we'd get that perspective via mud couple from the Diance story, but who knows if that one will continue after I criticized it heavily.

>58886200
>our name never felt like a coincidence
>calling myself that
>other me
Sounds like this person believes that they're the character (if they're also a dude as the other anons assumed, the calls for meds are even more apropos), and that they already had problems prior to the phenomenon. It's almost a case of pre-transformation PIPS - one that their transformation has only exacerbated. Let's hope this isn't just a one-shot, because it's an even more unique and interesting perspective than mud couple would've been. I fear the damage an unhinged mega could do...

>58888199
Existential musing takes on a whole new level of "woah".

>58888319
Do not starve yourself plz. There is life after turning.

>58888816
ProfD's extreme, infuriating pedantry regarding these sorts of quizzes and questions is such a delight to be hold. Love that silly green birb.

>58889945
I'd read it.

>58890241
Oof, Ben would be a sassy lil' tom if he'd had people to bounce off after transforming, huh? Might make a fun one-shot AU.

>58890770
Etienne's self-loathing is showing again. There are definitely cool and useful things a Mienshao will be able to do, he's just not in the right mindset or circumstances to discover them yet. At least he's a little self-aware of it. Maybe a bit of training will help him discover his real capabilities.

>not gawking or talkative
Now we're seeing the stereotype pop back up. Even a year in, I'd definitely be hard-pressed to not stare.

>news bad for your mental health
Based

>Shaolin weasel
Scene where Etienne has to listen to the noodle voice bray for him to bring justice to the evils of the world when?

>>58892309
>Meowstic
Ooh, a fellow floofter. This'll be interesting.

I like how the news articles here show the funnier side of the phenomenon compared to the ones Val tends to read. You started tense slipping around there though.

The little ways the three interact with each other are very cute.

Oh hey look, there's an advantage to being a Pokemon right now. I can just imagine a parody video in the style of Powerthirst or Sylveon Will Fuck You extolling the virtues of transforming being all, "You will never be naked, even when you're naked!"

Grey-haired officer guy would definitely be a Chatot if he turned.

Very interested to see what this Meowstic has to say. Looking forward to more!

>>58890898
Cutting through the bullshit, that's our Etienne! The idea of the quiz from PMD being the actual diagnostic for PIPS is HYSTERICAL and we should absolutely make it canon - really drive home how half-baked this research truly is.

>>58891915
>>58891927
Sounds about right for our perceptive but slightly standoffish everyman protag with a troubled past, honestly.

>>58892061
Well, look who it is! I suppose we should've guessed by the vibrant colour you put over the collage, huh?

>I can only assume
Unfortunately those, as we know, make an ass of you and ming. I think I can safely assume Tristana is indeed a girl, though.

Oh even better, she's basing all this off old rumours and fanon! This can only end well!

>her... your people
-Holds up blue stop sign-

>I will be the first to stop this cycle of calamities.
Ho boy...

>It's too soon to take that leap.
At least she has a few skerricks of sanity left.

The news is filled with so much worthless noise even without the phenomenon, is it really gonna be at all helpful for finding something so specific?

Mate, you're gonna make all the same mistakes and many, many more...

Welp, I can definitely say I'm interested in this new story of yours, Kart... even if it does kinda have that watching a slow-motion trainwreck feel...