>>34222841
Have you considered taking on a serious challenge, like lion taming or even accountancy?

>>34222841
are you drinking plenty of water...
do you have a holistic healthy organic diet...
do you practice meditation

Consider taking shrooms or other psychedelics in a safe, comfortable environment close to nature.

>>34222841
You're looking for material solutions to a spiritual problem. Meaning, purpose and fulfillment have to come from within. Somebody who genuinely loves the virtues and loves perfecting his own character so that he aligns with the virtues never has to feel that way, because he's never far from his purpose and his true love. That's the state you need to reach if you want to be happy, because happiness has never ever come from anything material or worldly.

>>34225531
You said in another thread that genuinely loving the virtues comes from one self, and that if you've been faking the virtues basically you're incapable of living in virtue, i.e. you're fated to suffer.

>>34222841
>have checked T levels
Fucking lmao, problem #1 huh buddy?

>>34225629
I never would have said that anyone is incapable. Everyone is capable of achieving genuine virtue, you're only fated to suffer so long as you continue faking it instead of pursuing the genuine article. There is absolutely no force on this earth that can prevent you from loving what's right, true, beautiful and good, so it's only a matter of cultivating that love and genuinely striving towards it.

>>34222841
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/

File: IMG_1570-2.jpg (290.1 KB)

290.1 KB JPG

>>34222841
>& finally caved-in & tried antidepressants. After a month and a half, they do nothing but give me headaches. I'm so exhausted, I honestly have no idea what to even do at this point. Any help is appreciated.
it seems like you lack direction
i really implore you to reflect a bit before doing anything drastic, if you're really that young & materially well-off
there's so much you could do

i recommend looking for a decent therapist, rather than meds/psychiatrist
you could write what you just wrote but tell it to a therapist, and they could probably help quite a bit
therapy is very systematic at this point, it's just a matter of finding a non-retarded therapist & giving it a couple months of effort

if u don't want to try that, just remember there are plenty of drastic options you can take besides suicide
i always think "if i'm too much of a coward to do anything drastic/life-changing, i don't deserve the right to suicide"
maybe it's a bad/morbid thought, but it helps sometimes

File: 2026-02-03-225444_1081x602_scrot.png (183.2 KB)

183.2 KB PNG

>>34225883
soulless nigger reddit bug website

>>34225917
Not him but both are bad approaches. Psychiatrist doesn't give a fuck and the pills he gives genuinely contribute to emotional dulling and that makes it worse long term, permanent damage. Truly meds should be reserved only for suicidal ideation and psychosis, but OP is already on them and that's that.

OP, tell your psychiatrist you've had enough of the drugs. Have him wean them through two months, or do it yourself halving the dose each weak.

That "systematic" therapy is one of the most soulless shits there has ever been. It's based on treating you like a dog and reducing your experience to reflex. They expect you to plan out your entire life in a short timeframe and stick with it, and if you place doubt on it you're the villain and you go over the same shit losing money.

OP. In my experience, my emotions were the most valuable things I've lost, and my environment was the worst poison. My parents were so afraid I would get killed in a dangerous country that they would never let me socialize, they wanted a genius kid and enrolled me a year younger and got bullied, the only good school around was one with baptist lunacy and got shame to mark me forever. My dad was a shy sperg and didn't tell me about sex because he didn't want to deal with teenage pregnancies when my cousins who he was raising fucked themselves over with it. My mom was abused by her mother and developed emotional dependence to me and my dad. She wouldn't say any advice to me because she left all the parenting to dad, and the housekeeping to herself. Neither could take notice of my issues because they were busy working hard. I studied something I hated to please them and now I'm stuck with that for life, it's stupid to not use it, so It means everything I hate about living to me.

How did I recover from all this? I didn't. I still evade people the same way I evaded them back then. I still procrastinate living through studying and working. I am still afraid of women.

>>34226010
I am still afraid of women, confessed to a girl who ghosted me and to a random teenager on the mall because therapist told me to. The challenges that therapist gives don't make any change on me, it only accumulates bad memories.

If it were in my hands, I would have someone, a friend or some sort of employee, to watch me in everything I do and actively encourage me to do things, and transmit enthusiasm whenever he can, whenever I am supposed to feel any. I wish it, If I could meet you guys in real life, I would try to be that guy for you. That's fucking environment. I want my environment changed. I don't want to be driving alone to the beach, sitting alone, afraid someone will kill me, have nothing to fucking say, eat something alone, and alone full of thoughts back home. That's the opposite of what you need. You need good fucking friends, and those don't exist because the world is full of needy people who want a quick laugh or they feel uncomfortable.

Young people live in a dream, same dream I was in. Thinking they don't age, that none matters, and it works for them because suddenly they make mistakes and the results are their new life callings. But I didn't make mistakes. My life crumbled and nobody was there to tell me I could put it back together. No, I have tons of people telling me to live life as I don't want it instead, and lately, they're sounding convincing.

I don't want to live anymore. I want the skies to rip open and this world to end. I have seen enough. I hope you never reach this low anon.

>>34222841
" I have of late, (but wherefore I know not) lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed, it goes so heavily with my disposition; that this goodly frame the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy the air, look you, this brave o'er hanging firmament, this majestical roof, fretted with golden fire: why, it appeareth no other thing to me, than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man, How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, In form and moving how express and admirable, In action how like an Angel, In apprehension how like a god, The beauty of the world, The paragon of animals. And yet to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me"

- Hamlet

Work on your mindset.

>>34226010
>That "systematic" therapy is one of the most soulless shits there has ever been. It's based on treating you like a dog and reducing your experience to reflex. They expect you to plan out your entire life in a short timeframe and stick with it, and if you place doubt on it you're the villain and you go over the same shit losing money.
sounds like a shit counselor or something
therapy shouldn't involve ANY life planning, it should be about gaining an understanding of your own behavior & what past experiences it stems from, more or less

i would agree that environment is extremely important
a bunch of tiny headache-inducing things day-after-day can fuck you up severely, in much subtler ways than a single traumatic experience can