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How do I choose my path? I've been a NEET for years after graduating. I was burned out from my first job that wasn't a good fit for my personality, then again it seems no job is a good fit.
I find it hard to reconciliate the idea of a limited lifetime with spending time on menial tasks even if technically complex, at the end of the day jobs are about multiplying products or giving services to multitudes, one at a time or otherwise.
Instead jobs where the service of a master is needed, there being so many masters in the world, and all needing the same dedication and specialization to become one makes it seem mastership is worthless and its pursuit a dangerous trap to waste your only life on.
Why do I think like this? Feels like I think like child asking for recognition and that may be just the case. I was raised being egged on by parents to become the best of the class, I got inspired with the wonder of documentaries, games and movies to have broad interests, but maybe it was all chasing the high discovering wonders provided, now the low hanging fruit seems to be gone, and the days go by, feeling I know much of the world and not having the skill only specialization gives to discover more.
So I face the crossroads where I am afraid of choosing, because I don't know how much more time will I lose, and what things I will not see, and don't know how long it will take.
While that question weighs me I feel useless and the days keep going by.
tl,dr. I'm existentially bored and afraid of committment at the same time, dunno what criteria am I supposed to use to fix my life's bearing.
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>>34224346
you can never go wrong with a template
- go to school
- go to college
- go to army (optional, based on the country)
- get a job
- get married
- get kids
- work work work
- die, and leave it to your kids to figure out the meaning
you can try to explore off course but danger lies there
>>
I really did speedrun through life, poison things that were joyful risks like getting any girlfriend in school because I wanted to be perfect. Started seeing value in learning for its own sake as if I didn't have to eat, as if money didn't run out. At this point most things don't surprise me and the sudden objective is to see if things are useful or not. No more surprises. I'm trapped. I walked my way too far and I'm alone. I see nobody in the same predicament. Sure a bunch of people here are broken without finding their paths, we're all in this bog, pushing each other down, but really we're alone here. Nobody out of the water to throw us a rope, encouragement or anything. No, it's just we've come too far from anyone else.
So what is it. Should I get a job and speedrun to death like that anon said? Any job, just for jobs' sake. Make money. Sit on it. Burn it. The hell else is done with it. Once I have enough money I will walk up a mountain hoping to die, come down from it and climb the next one and so on.
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Fine then.
Let's suffer a bit. Sit down with that suffering. Then say happiness is the absence of suffering. Let's go down that cursed path. I only wonder what kind of cursed people are the only ones that will tag along me in that bitterness. I don't want to stay alone anymore.