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I'm a sperg female, now 18, and I basically based my personality (lol not really but I tried) around this female classmate I had during middle school, one of my first "friends" or people not mean toward me, she is graceful and elegant, after we distanced from each other I stopped eating meat because she didn't, I grew my hair out because she had long hair, I started wearing all-black because she did, I started typing in lowercase because she did (I cringe when I read the way I used to text before this), I started cutting more because she did, probably developed my ED (got to 84 pounds before gaining the weight back) because she had one, I watched her HS graduation video and she was so much more of a woman than I am, she had her mouth slightly parted while going up the stairs, not too much so as not to look stunned but not too little so as not to look cold while I do both, she closed it on time, stared the right amount and the right way at the guy handing the diplomas, smiled the right amount and the right way. I wanted to be like her sooo badly I still do. I've never mastered that I've always been unlikable but she's always been sweet cute and pretty. We both had the same shirt and I avoid wearing mine in order to preserve her memory but I also used to do it because I didn't feel worthy. I remember when I was around 16 I had a folder of about 200 selfies or pictures she took while hanging out; I ended up deleting it but I really liked seeing how much better she was than me. I'll never be her why should I even live ?? It's not a crush because I want to be her and date a guy, I don't want to date her. I have no positive qualities like she did even if I imitate her. I don't know how to imitate the gracefulness I just take the outside characteristics which isn't the same at all. If the thing I'm about to text doesn't sound like something she'd say I don't want to send it. How big of a problem is this?
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>>34226819
IMO nothing wrong with basing your personality and morals around someone who is obviously looked favourably upon by society. The person you are describing seems to *mostly* have admirable qualities, so copying those cant do you any harm.
I myself have taken major personality traits from books and tv - kinda has helped me stop being a retarded nerd.
My take is that you should should shadow their traits but only the positive ones - while still hanging onto what makes you you. If you have a unique laugh or use strange turns of phrase hang onto that - thats what your friend does and thats why she is so charming compared to you. Improve your life by copying those better than you and embrace what makes you unique. The end.
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>>34226819
We are all amalgams of other people we've met or seen in life, maybe with an original twist or two. But basing your behavior entirely on ONE person is pretty weird, especially given how obsessed you sound in this post.
Making more friends would be the ideal, but I know that can be hard as a sperg. So maybe watch more media and parasocialize with the characters to have more points of reference. I say media instead of just movies, because often characters in movies act in ways that would be cringey IRL. So include stuff like youtube videos and whatnot. Again the best is still socializing IRL.
It's not easy to fight autism, but it's possible. I did it myself
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Yeah. Some people just got it. They are effortlessly exist. They have all the characteristics that makes someone seem real. We could learn it and even try to emulate it but never have it. Worst part is that the effects are subconscious.
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>>34229530
>Totally unrelated problem
>Just get laid lmao
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>>34229530
>>34229552
>>34229557
>I'm a sperg female, now 18, and
>sperg female, now 18,
>sperg female
>sperg
can you not read
how could i achieve that if im a sperg
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>>34229575
You're female and thin so sex is well within the realm of probability. This is a cure without years of psychoanalysis. You don't have to be in love just find one guy that knows how to fuck and your obsession cured
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>>34226819
I’m in a similar boat 19F and have a weird non romantic limerence for a girl I was close friends with for a year. She had a crush on me for a while. Even though objectively she’s kinda selfish and lazy, I love everything about her and think about her constantly despite hardly talking to her. She’s become my point of reference mentally. Usually I’m pretty detached and don’t care too much about others but she lives in my head rent free and im obsessed with the thought of her rejecting me as a friend and leaving me. I think my self esteem is so low that I find sick pleasure from the idea of letting her decide if I’m a complete lost cause or not.
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>>34229588
pathetic response from a chud who probably goons to some of the most depraved stuff there is on the dark web and that's me being generous and not ruling out the epstein's redacted files which contain the legs of that toddler lying on the sofa besides him. Gooning to that particular image is not very fun as its very pixelated and there's so much fucking clutter which just distracts your brain while youre at it.