no fig newtons are just good in general

Awww. You're a lonely guy that misses the female influence in your life.

>>21861575

>13 pieces are one serving size
Wait, they are that miniscule? From how they are depicted on the box I always thought they are finger food sized.

>>21861599
They're tiny now. About 1/8 the size of a current nutrigrain bar (which are small too).

>>21861587
based

>>21861575

Fig Newtons, cheese and a glass of cold whole milk is a great snack.

>>21861575
there's probably dead bugs in the fruit paste. there's just something so good about these that I just don't care.

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you mean strudle

>>21861575
Fig newtons are good but they used to make date newtons and they were the goat.
I don't know why their existence seems to have been wiped from the web though.

>>21861575
My grammy loved using sodium benzoate too.

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>>21861575

>>21861575
They are for methematicians

>>21863024
okay, I didn't expect that lmao

friendly reminder thay theres a digested wasp in every fig

>>21863358
Good. So what?

>>21862471
>they used to make date newtons
No they fucking didn't, retard.
>>21863358
No they fucking don't, retard.
>>21863362
So nothing because it's not fucking true. Bitch don't know what parthenocarpic means.
>>21861634
I was taken aback a couple years ago. I got some coupon for cheap newtons and when I bought the box, I was shocked at how tiny they were.
I haven't bought actual newtons in aeons but I used to buy some off brand motherfuckers from a local candy store (that inexplicably also sold newton-like cookies, go figure) and they were big and came in multiple varieties, sold by weight so I mixed and matched different ones in one bag. Oat and apple were the best.

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>>21863403
>Bitch don't know what parthenocarpic means.
I’m not some rube

>>21863403
Multi repliers are narcissistic cunts

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>>21861634
When did they change them? I stopped getting them like 2 years ago. Of course those may have been store brand fig bars. They certainly weren't 10 calories. I can't see how they could even be another size and that same shape and be the same thing at all. The density must be different now.

>>21862471
I remember those. And Raspberry Newtons too. Maybe more. It seemed like they had a whole line of 3 or 4 on the commercials. Late 80s, early 90s. They used to have different Wheat Thins too around that time, but different than the fancy flavors they have now. Then they stopped making them for a while and just had regular ones for years before unveiling a whole line.

>>21863403
Don't post here anymore. You always post like a stubborn asshole and you double down when you're wrong, which is often.

>>21863624
I'm the exception.

>>21863629
Prove him wrong then cuz I can't find any evidence that date newtons ever existed and I saw that 80% of commercial figs are self fertilizing and don't have wasps in them so what is he wrong about? And how do you know who he is? And do you have the answer to today's Wordle?

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Speaking of grandma food, remember in the 90s when these were the go-to snack for women?

>>21863862
>what is he wrong about?
He hurt my feelings and that makes him wrong. Yes, I'm a woman. How can you tell?

I swear they used to make Cherry Newtons but I can't find them anywhere now

>>21863881
They did. They stopped in the 90s. There were five varieties back then, fig, cherry, apple, strawberry and blueberry. Cherry and blueberry have, afaict, been discontinued and apple has been fragmented into a couple of sub-varieties, caramel apple and cinnamon baked apple. I'm not sure plain apple newtons exist anymore but cherry ones have almost certainly been discontinued.

>>21863884
Okay thank you anon, I remember them being so good.

>>21863886
There are off brands that make cherry Newton-like cookies but they're hard to track down so just keep your eyes open and you might find one somewhere. I've seen blueberry newton-alikes at Dollar Tree. Oh, and they have Triple Berry Newtons. Official shit. Not sure it had cherry in it but maybe that'll scratch a similar itch if not the same one.

Once when I was a child I left a nearly full container of Fig Newtons in the family minivan and the rear slit windows open. During the night some opportunistic glutton of a creature squeezed through the window and consumed the entire package. It also coated the entire two back rows of seats in seedy excrement.
I haven't looked at those cookies the same since.

>>21864318
It was a raccoon lmao

>Bread
>wheat
>eating it ever

Needs more meat and less of the bad stuff.

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Uhhhhh

>>21864350
fucking what dot com???

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>>21864350
>childslut.com

>>21861575
They are not good anymore. They used to be my go to snack, but I got some after not having any for a long time and they quit using hydrogenated oil and they taste like shit.

>>21864359
>>21864350
Dummy.

Open the package and leave it open in the cupboard overnight or even longer for them to get chewy. Youre welcome.

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I... I can't...

>>21864405
Good that that's not relevant. : )

>>21863868
damn i forgot about these
my parents (who were overweight but not super overweight) ate those things non-stop cause they were marketed as healthy

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For me it's social tea.

>>21864621
Fuck those.
I want spiders in my bikkies.

>>21861587
I just really want to dick down a clean chinese chick (again)

>>21864405
nature is fascinating, bros

>>21864405
Why are you assuming that a huge company is going out and harvesting wild figs in the jungle instead of growing them on private fields drowning in pesticides?

Big Generic Food tries to convince you they're the same or equivalent, but I had store brand fig newtons and they were tasteless while being something like 75 calories for two bites.

>>21866717
Because she's a retarded, produce averse fatty who will use any excuse to not get any fiber in her grease-laden diet, including fear of non-existent fig wasps in commercially grown figs.

thread theme
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql5_q_33wqY

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>>21864405
i cant either man and i genuinely dont dislike the taste.

>>21863024
Uptoaded

>>21864318
>those cookies

"A cookie is just a cookie, but Fig Newtons are fruit and cake".

>>21864405
Are you pausing for some kind of "dramatic effect"? That doesn't work in print. Faggot.

>>21863403
+1

They hated him because he told the truth.

>>21867113
>she
Kill yourself.

>>21867160
>>21867166
You need to leave.

>>21861587
unfortunately my mom and sisters wont leave me alone

>>21867169
You must be fun at parties.

>>21867173
+1
Nice reply, senpai; enjoy the Fourchan Gold!

>>21867177
+1

Nice double.

>>21861587
Modern women don't clean, they don't bake, they hate men, so what influence?

>>21861575
A cookie is just a cookie but Newtons are fruit and cake.

>thinly veiled King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard thread
please go back to >>/mu/

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>>21861575
move over for the REAL grandma food. All the people who still knew what these were and how to use them are either dead or eating tapioca pudding in a memory care facility.

You don't know suffering until you crave a real icebox cake and they've completely and utterly discontinued these fucks. Fuck you Nabisco and fuck you mondelez

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>>21864350
>that website
nigga wtf?