>>77053147
It's not plausible. If a fit partner is important to you, you should leave her. The second way is risky and has a low success rate: Become insanely shredded, maybe a cardiobunny, and excert constant subtle pressure on her. It works better if you start lightly flirting with other women. You can also no longer accept any shit tests, you have to be right AND the strong one in arguments. Success rates with this method:
50% breakup within months
25% long term resentment + she gets "revenge fat"
10% she stays as she is because she doesn't want to lose you
10% she cheats
5% she gets as fit as you

>long term relationship with a mexican

Shiggy

>>77053147
>pierce brosnan smiling face.jpg

>>77053147
She will get fatter than you can imagine

>>77053147
>muh drinking, fuck, watching kikeflix buddy
id rather kys, not to mention doing that with a brownoid udderly disgusting

>>77053147
She will just keep getting fatter unless you get her to start taking health more seriously.

>>77053147
>Her normal meals are healthy enough but she eats snacks and desserts, and doesn't exercise much.
You already know what the answer is. Increase exercise and decrease desserts. She needs to have the internal desire to lose weight, or it isn't going to happen. It will also take a long time.

Having some success with my current girlfriend. She was about 180-190lb @ 5'10 when I met her, not really sure. Overweight, but not what I'd consider obese/fat. She's undergone a big body recomp over the span of two years. Gained glute/leg muscle and lost fat everywhere. Getting her to this point has required an extraordinary amount of patience and some strategy.

My strategy:
>Started bringing her to the gym with me as a way to "spend more time with each other" and "feel connected" 1-3x per week. She does leg day with me on the same machines
>Had to straight up tell her I think that she's eating too many sweets on multiple occasions
>Taught her to count calories, taught her that her daily coffees had 500 calories of bullshit in them and were effectively one pound of fat per week
>Taught her to cook healthy things by cooking together
>Give positive reinforcement when she makes good choices
>Tell her that she looks like she's losing weight and looks good
>Frequently reiterated that "sweet treats" are not supposed to be a daily thing and would decline getting sweets on dates
>When she started to slip and gain weight back, I sat her down and told her that the weight gain was making me lose attraction to her and that I was concerned about our sex life/relationship longevity if it continued

It also depends on how much she likes you. If she isn't head over heels for you, you're not going to get away with some of the stuff I've done. You need to know when to sugarcoat things (ie "let's go to the gym together to be more connected") and when to be direct. Praise her often when doing the right thing and withhold attention if she's fucking up.

>>77053173
>>77053293
Which of these strategies work better?
Thank you for the advice /fit/bros.

>>77053293
>Had to straight up tell her I think that she's eating too many sweets on multiple occasions
>Frequently reiterated that "sweet treats" are not supposed to be a daily thing and would decline getting sweets on dates
>When she started to slip and gain weight back, I sat her down and told her that the weight gain was making me lose attraction to her and that I was concerned about our sex life/relationship longevity if it continued
how exactly do you do these things though? Like I don't just say "HEY FATTY STOP EATING COOKIES" right?

>>77053327
He can only say that because he's dating someone 2 points lower than him on the 10 scale. If you said that to your looksmatch she'd start a deadly argument on the spot.

>>77053147
id just try to bring her along to the gym with you. i wouldnt worry about her diet too much unless it starts getting worse. just get her to the gym so she can burn off some calories and maybe build some muscle

>>77053342
we're looksmatch, neither one of us is more attractive than the other.
I'm 6 years older than her.
Personality-wise, I'm definitely more outgoing and the "leader" I guess. She's a shy quiet nice girl who doesn't have many friends or much of a social life and I basically have to make all the decisions and take charge.

>>77053147
You can’t make someone lose weight, it must be their decision or they will rebound. She will get fatter. And she will get much more fatter after having kids
If you don’t want that, date someone who is already slim

>>77053357
Idk, I feel like the diet is going to be the bigger issue long-term. When she's pregnant or when she's 40 and we have kids she's not going to be able to hit the gym as hard.
Idk I just need some way to get her to stop eating sweets.

>>77053312
Dude, respectfully, you need to use some critical thinking and decide instead of having things spoonfed to you.

>>77053327
Yeah, you definitely need to have some decorum when bringing these things up. The goal is to be honest, not to be an asshole. Don't be an asshole to your lady.

Telling a woman something that she doesn't want to hear in an effective way is a skill learned only through experience. There's a difference between "stop eating ice cream every day, hog" and "hey sweetie, you won't like this but I need to be honest with you.. blah blah blah... I'm concerned that sweet treats every day are bad for your health and I want you to live a long time". She needs to feel like you are telling her whatever it is because you care about her.

>>77053342
Not necessarily, she just needs to like you enough. I think my girl's face is a 9.

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>>77053147
>Imagine staying with a Latina longer than one night.

First, divorce her in your heart. Get over letting her go.
Second, give her an ultimatum. If she doesn't keep fit and thin, you're going to dump her, and if she doesn't start to take it serious immediately, you'll dump her.
If she loves you it's not a big sacrifice to make. If she doesn't love you more than food do you really want kids tying you to her like a zeppelin?

>>77053485
>First, divorce her in your heart. Get over letting her go.
>Second, give her an ultimatum. If she doesn't keep fit and thin, you're going to dump her, and if she doesn't start to take it serious immediately, you'll dump her.
idk she really is the best woman I've ever been with aside from the weight. She'd be a great wife and mother. And she's really nice so I don't want to be an asshole and it sounds like a dick move to just say "Lose weight or I'm dumping you"

>>77053491
The foundation of my advice is that you can't really control other peoples' behavior: you can only decide what you're going to do, and set and enforce boundaries. If you're feeling like you might lose out by enforcing the ultimatum because you don't think you could get another woman as good or better than her, you should probably self-improve and practice flirting so that you can do so.

Also, are you scared to talk to her about her weight and eating habits? That kind of insecurity in a relationship is not good.

>>77053173
Yeah i tried the latter and honestly it's just fucking misery. You have to constantly shit on your partner as you see they're feeling fucking miserable. People act like you're a shithead for flirting with other girls even if you're trying to save your relationship. Then if you keep that up for years you might see a vague amount of effort.

>>77053147
fuck her harder
it should be easy because she will get hotter as she gets fatter until he hits to too fat threshold but she will only get there if you neglect her

>>77053577
You fell into the
>10% she stays as she is because she doesn't want to lose you

>>77053601
Well in my case she worked out but never actually put in much effort, always clear it wasn't something she actually enjoyed, never really did anything else to improve her looks to suggest she 'got it' on a deeper level. So there were some results but far from being worth the misery for both of us.


I especially found the flirting with other girls to evoke jealousy the worst. People acted like I was such a cunt for it but I never cheated despite being with a girl who had given up all effort for a decade.

>>77053585
>she will get hotter as she gets fatter
wat.

>>77053585
There is no threshold if you love her

Who doesn't like a feisty latina woman?

Full disclaimer, I'm a virgin who's never been in a relationship. But I don't understand how anyone can stay in a relationship with someone who lets themselves go like that, unless they're desperate and don't want to ever be alone. It's honestly embarrassing, I would be embarrassed to be seen with her outside.
>>77053371
This. No one in history who hasn't had a burning desire to get in shape has ever lost weight and stayed that way.

>>77054154
Literally no one who wants a stable and peaceful long term relationship.

>>77054211
My girl could gain 100lbs and get half of her face burned in a car accident and I wouldnt be embarrassed by her

>>77054272
That's nuts, I cringe when an obese girl stares at me, her legs are covered in red rashes she's so fat

>>77054272
I wouldn't be embarrassed of her getting her face burned in an accident because that's out of her control.

But gaining 100 lbs? Absolutely not, that's completely under her control. It's wild that you'd even put those 2 together. Gaining that much weight indicates that she lacks discipline and would likely make a poor life partner - that is the embarrassing part.

>>77053147

yes, stare at fine fit girls and make ur stupid gf realize. competition is a part of society. if she is un-curable, abandon.

>>77054321
To be fair it would take at least a couple years for any normal person to gain 100lbs so you should know if shes life partner material before it even happens

>>77053491
>fat
>good mother
Choose one. Children inherently consider anything their parents are to be permissible, a fat mother means kids will think being fat is fine too, and most likely will grow fat. That or they will grow to resent their mother and distrust her as an authority figure.

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>>77053248
and don't forget about the hidden costs of having to give her your time, money and raise a replacement wageslave for the niggercattle workforce (pic rel) if you get her pregnant, it's life over then

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>>77054272
this is what a crumb of pussy does to a mf

>>77053475
>The most beautiful women in the world will wrestle Poseidon himself to secure the cum of the greasiest cholos at age of 17 before morphing into their form of a golem constructed entirely of Queso and Fried Tortillas
What did God mean when he made the creatures?

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>>77054602
Love

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How I look at my chubby asian short stack gf when she's talking to me about how insecure she is about her weight but for me I want to bury my face in her tummy and thighs

>>77053147
>Her normal meals are healthy enough but she eats snacks and desserts, and doesn't exercise much
it's the sugary drinks and desserts, anon. Get her to the gym with you, and suggest healthier snack and drink options.
>we want kids
If she becomes obese, it'll affect her hormones. My wife gained weight a few years ago and developed PCOS which blocked one of her ovaries. She lost some of the weight, but now is at high risk of developing preeclampsia.

If having a baby together is something she really wants, consult a fertility clinic about what you can do to increase your chances. Guaranteed that will kick her in the ass to make healthier choices.

What a frumpy wreck ugh. UGH. Morning ruined. That said she wasn’t like some killer body baddie before either though she was riding on quirky/cute from the start so quirk chungus was the natural progression of things

>>77054272
You'll regret this after your inevitable break up.

>>77053147
Dunno, get her to eat more salads with leafy greens. I heard constant hunger is more about not getting enough nutrients and salads are a decent low-calorie option.
>Her normal meals are healthy enough
How much fat she is using in cooking?

>>77054967
So?

>>77053293
>investing that much in a biocunt
Mental illness, bro.

>>77053147
>Can I keep chubby girlfriend from getting fatter?
no. the reason she's chubby is because she's overeating, and the only reason it's still "chubby" and not "obese" is because she didn't have enough time to reach that point yet.
you cannot make people be disciplined, it needs to be an intrinsic part of their personality.

>>77053173
>>77053293
Both of these methods rarely work in practice. Women have weird relationships with food and weight by default, if she's fat it's in spite of constant comments and differential treatment the entire time she's been fat. Do you think that you, a man who presumably likes her for personality and who she pulled while being fat, can convince her to lose weight by reasoning her into wanting to do so?

If her losing weight is really something you can't stand long term and you're willing to potentially lose the relationship, dump her for a bit out of nowhere and then get back with her a month later. Come up with a plausible but vague reason.

I have seen plumpers who got fatter than you would reasonably expect develop a jawline again using this method. Don't do this with your wife though.

>>77055277
>Do you think that you, a man who presumably likes her for personality and who she pulled while being fat, can convince her to lose weight by reasoning her into wanting to do so?
>reasoning
Neither method is rational. Both are emotional. That's why they MIGHT work, a rational method would never work on a woman.

>>77055288
>Positive reinforcement when she eats healthy
>Teaching her to do things that every other girl in her teenage years was actively doing and talking about for fear of being fat
>Communicating your feelings about her weight and attraction

These are RELATED to emotions, but they're definitely logical arguments being presented: "when you X, I feel Y, so please do Z." Guys who ask questions about their gfs on 4chub are always confused by this one. Unless you're dating a real aspie with a reading disability, she's smart enough to pick up on the fact that you're trying to Pavlov her into wanting to lose weight. Women do that constantly, they can see it and ignore it.

An emotional approach makes her connect her weight and appearance with an emotional outcome - i.e. you leaving her suddenly without a clear reason. You left and she now feels bad and doesn't know why. What could possibly be the reason?

You don't say it's because she's fat - then you left because you're insecure. If she never receives a real answer, then unless being fat is something she's actively proud of then she will absolutely know it was because she was unattractive and she will fix it.

Lmao at some of the posts in this thread
OP, it's obvious you're young and can't think for yourself fully yet, that's fine, but if you really want something spelled out, for the love of god, at least don't pull retarded shit like leaving her in order to "teach her a lesson" and try to get back together after. Fucking lol

>>77055455
I feel like OP only posted the thread and then left. Every reply feels like it's made by someone new. I fucking wish we still had the poster count available.
Also why the fuck is this relationship thread the most active thread on /fit/ right now lmao.

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>>77053147
She was already fat and she only got fatter. The guy turned into a 90s alt rock band lead singer.

>>77055530
/fit is just obsessed with weight in every way we could be and talk about it every chance we have

>>77055530
You can get the poster count with an extension, tampermonkey, which has a script called 4chan x or something like that

>>77055530
OP here, I've been reading the replies. My last reply was >>77053491 but I've been reading the ones after.
Idk, I don't want to break up with her. She's not too fat now it's more that I'm worried she'll get fatter since she's already chubby.

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>>77053147
easy solution
start playfully flirting with her friends in front of her
obviously dont do it with second intention in mind

>>77054272
thats great anon

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>>77053147
Run!
She‘ll be round as a ball after having kids. A full-time-complaining Karen. And no sex for you anymore, this I can grant you.
46yo here, happily married to a tiny lady, who hits the gym three times a week. Because she always valuated sports, health, nutrition high, without me even me asking for.
And I have countless examples of friends/colleagues here who didn‘t do pic related. Now they suffer.

>>77055913
>>77055866
>>77055455
>>77055237
>>77053507
>>77053293
why can't women just not get fat? For thousands of years women didn't get fat. Now they act like children eating cookies and candy like a child. Why is it so hard to get women to eat like adults?

>>77056322
40% of both American men and women are obese. Come on now. Fatness is so standard now that it's hard to perceive, all the fatness just melts into the background.

>>77053205
kek*

*i did the captcha to write that

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>>77056333
it's significantly worse among women. Women are so fat that we don't perceive fat women as fat. We see an overweight woman with a skinny guy and think they're looksmatched.

How do we end this? Can we just give all women mandatory Ozempic?

>>77056322
Its actually so easy that most of them eat like 3 adults

>>77053147
I had nearly the exact same situation as you. Great personality, would have been a good mom, aligned politically. She was chubby when we met, thought my habits and cooking would help when she moved in with me.

In reality she got fatter and I had to dump her because of that. She admitted she was gaining weight, refused to do anything about it. Just meme "workouts" once every week or two but would down sugary drinks at work all day. You can't fix fat. You can't fix stupid. It's a mindset. Take my advice and don't get too committed unless she drops weight in the first 2-3 months dating, then maybe consider. I'd still advise against it. I wasted nearly 4 years and now I'm old needing to date again. I had reservations after the first date because she was "cute chubby" but chubby. I should have listened to my gut.

>>77053491
>nd she's really nice so I don't want to be an asshole and it sounds like a dick move to just say "Lose weight or I'm dumping you"
Kek this was me also. It made me drag things out almost a year longer than it should have. You're going to feel bad either way, waiting isn't going to help either of you.
>great mother
Fat mothers raise fat kids. There's no way around that.

>>77054154
People with 100+ IQs

>>77054272
I wouldn't judge my girl or any women for being a burn victim. I will judge them with merit for being a fat tub of lard.

>>77055277
I'm the second guy
Yeah, it won't work every time. Presumably you'd get to know her personality first and dump her if she isn't the type to take criticism or advice well.
I think the approach I'm using is one of the more ethical/honest ones. Just being straightforward and telling her what I think

>>77056322
for thousands of years they didn't have access to enough food or had to worry about serious consequences if they do not behave as men deem appropriate.
neither of that is true anymore.
and it's not like there aren't plenty of fat men, too.
most people just have very poor self-control. just listen to most people whine about how they can't find the motivation to do something, instead of just sitting down and doing it even without motivation.

>>77053293
I did all this for my wife and it didn't work. She just likes making cookies and pies more than counting calories.
She also isn't tuned in to her own appearance enough to understand what the problem is, and if I had to explain to her that her gut hangs out a bit, it would crush her. And I've done that in the past, it lasts a few weeks, and then she goes right back to her old ways

>
Telling a woman something that she doesn't want to hear in an effective way is a skill learned only through experience. There's a difference between "stop eating ice cream every day, hog" and "hey sweetie, you won't like this but I need to be honest with you.. blah blah blah... I'm concerned that sweet treats every day are bad for your health and I want you to live a long time". She needs to feel like you are telling her whatever it is because you care about her.
truer words have never been spoken

>>77055277
I'm new in this thread, but for me it's different. She was thin up until we got married, and then 6 months in she got a crazy double chin, almost all the time. She's not overweight because she's tall, but like 30% bf

>>77057620
>She's not overweight because she's tall, but like 30% bf
cope

>>77053147
Why did this fat whore even post this? Does she have a humiliation kink or something?

>>77053205
Dios mio.
>>77056430
Only brown people complain about the capcha.

>>77057873
She's getting attention. Attention is like crack for women. That's why they don't post on faceless forums.

>>77053173
Hmm can you provide a source for these outrageous claims? I would like to verify that you simply pulled them from your ass

>>77057995
I have 99 friends (plus me) who ended up in this situation and I convinced them all to try my method. These are simply the tabulated results.

>>77053147
>Can I keep chubby girlfriend from getting fatter?
yes
but depends a lot on her personality
and motivation in general

>Anybody had success getting a chubby girl to lose weight or at least not get fatter, especially after kids?
had 2 kids
she's still /fit/ (and only got so after a few years of being together)
though you have to accept that birth typically takes a toll on the body (and that's ok)

>dating a woman
>wife material
for how long?

>meals are healthy enough but she eats snacks and desserts
for snacks / deserts there are 2 easy methods you have do both do
>subtle guilt trip her every time she eats it
>do most / all of the shopping and just don't buy any
the last point might be somewhat difficult if you aren't married with joint accounts

your main goal should be
>get her to enjoy being /fit/
that's the only sustainable way

you can slowly gaslight her into a sport or lifting
do it together with her for the first few months
after it, do something you know she likes
her brain will connect the sport with pleasant / enjoyable days
once a habit builds she'll do it alone

you can lightly body shame her as well
but don't overdo it
and only AFTER she picked up a sport
and always keep plausible deniability, so never openly body shame her

>>77053327
>how exactly do you do these things though?
>Like I don't just say "HEY FATTY STOP EATING COOKIES" right?
nta and obviously not

you usually don't talk about the weight gain directly
>make jokes about her getting diabetes
>make jokes about her getting dental issues
if you want something more serious
>remind her of how bad sweets make her feel
>tell her you're worried about her health
>subtle remark how you'd never eat that yourself
and like OP mentioned, your own actions are incredible powerful
>never get sweets when on a date
>never buy snacks / sweets
>never eat snacks / sweets (in front of her)

most women don't think like men
external validation is way more important for them (especially from their boyfriend / husband so (You))
if you just withhold it, there is a high chance she changes on her own

>>77053173
The subtle pressure simply doesn't work. She says "I know you don't like my body" and then I have to say "What? No, youre great!!"

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What do you do when you have the opposite problem? My gf used to be chubby, I convinced her to start getting fit but now she's a bit too much of a stick for me. She's a size 2 now, I'd prefer a size 6

>>77058650
the anon you're replying to is retarded and wrong

but
>The subtle pressure simply doesn't work.
it absolutely does
you're likely just doing it wrong
> She says "I know you don't like my body" and then I have to say "What? No, youre great!!"
you can't tell her directly
"subtle" means that she has to infer it herself
so only talk indirectly about weight loss / getting fit
always under the pretense of a different topic

like take her skiing and do lower body fitness together so "she doesn't hurt herself"
or talk about healthy eating as you want as many healthy years together as possible and grow old together

which is all technically the truth, just with hidden motivation

body shame her only if she actually has the capacity and knowledge to improve
and never do it overtly
personally I'd completely abstain from it to not cause any defiance

>>77058678
>I convinced her to start getting fit but now she's a bit too much of a stick for me
oh no my steak is too juicy, my lobster too buttery

if you don't care about her health
just feed her up
always have snacks ready, cook calorie dense meals, scatter sweets around

modern goyslop is basically equivalent to cocaine
and if you offer it, she'll have a hard time declining every time
until she wants it herself

Fucking hell, this whole thread is just abysmal . All this convoluted schemery just so you can "motivate" the girl in your life (who you supposedly have a deeply intimate and solid relationship with) to do any sort of task? Actually, doesn't the "need" for such orchestrations defeat the very authenticity of the relationship in the first place? This just means the whole fling is built on fake and shallow premises, and you and her don't really match properly, right?
>inb4 you fags tell me humans are complicated and it's especially women that are beyond retarded (at any age), and as a man, that's just how you have to interact with them in order to get anything done.
I call bullshit. And there is no way that precisely all women are like this. And even if that were the case, I just wouldn't be able to stomach this shit. Doing all this video gamey bullshit like picking certain dialogue choices and completing quests with appropriate timing in order to obtain the reward, towards someone who's supposedly my significant other for the rest of my life. It should be the exact opposite way around; the more intimate you are with someone, the more honest you are with eachother.

>>77059506
And lastly, like some people above pointed out already, you can't artificially manifest this sort of thing onto someone. It has to be something intrinsic, no other way around it. Which means that if you ever meet a girl who's retarded, or fat, or lazy, or irrational or whatever other negative attribute which personally irks you, she's always going to remain that way (especially if she had been that way for a long time; then that means it became a fundamental trait); you can't possibly pluck that out of her from the outside. If by some miracle, some shit like this does happen, it might initially look like it is a successfully induced change but that would be wrong. What actually happened was that an underlying desire of hers (which she's been postponing for whatever reasons) finally got jumpstarted by something you said/did to her. So basically, looping back to the initial point of intrinsicality being mandatory.

>>77059506
>>77059511
>he thinks you can change people using the power of an honest conversation
Were you born last week? I wish the world worked like that, I really do. In most cases people never change.

>>77059739
No, you idiot. You completely misunderstood what I said. Your conclusion was my point exactly. There is no such thing as change. It's some bullshit concept; pretty much all people will adhere to the same core traits they've had since childhood or something like that. What I was trying to say about the whole honesty thing was this : if the dynamic between you and someone else isn't entirely based on honesty and straightforwardness from the get go, why bother? Why try so hard to force something to exist through artificial means, with all these little mind games and whatnot? It's clearly not working, it's not sustainable and it just ends up being more wasteful and miserable than anything else. If despite all this, you or all the other guys in here still want to stick around for a situation like this for some embarrassingly shallow reasons such as fear of loneliness or lust, then I guess I'm completely out of the loop. I just don't understand these sorts of feelings, and I would never let these take priority over my core value of speaking my mind to people, regardless of their reaction to my words.

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>>77059511
This nigga gets it. You can't save people from themselves.

>>77059506
>so you can "motivate" the girl in your life (who you supposedly have a deeply intimate and solid relationship with)
did you drop out of reading class in preschool?

this is an issue with human psychology
and not with women / LTR
and a lot of the stuff mentioned here only works precisely because you have a deep relationship with your gf / wife

>the more intimate you are with someone, the more honest you are with eachother
exactly
that is why you motivate each other to be the best version of yourself
if it was any other person I wouldn't care about their unhealthy eating habits, nor waste any energy fixing them

but your small vessel brain doesn't seem to understand
1) most humans are adverse to change and you have to "trick" them into improving
2) modern society makes it hard to get /fit/, so a little help doesn't hurt
3) long term, only your partners intrinsic motivation counts, that's why you need to honestly appeal to reason anyway / as well

>>77059879
All of this sounds like some time wasting gaslighting with extra steps to me. Simple and direct sentences straight from the dome should be more than enough to get the point across. And anyone who already sort of had an intrinsic and underlying feeling of agreement towards the point being discussed, will be receptive to said words. But you and I seem to be at a disagreement on this topic anyway, because you seem to be one of those who believe in this "change" concept, given that you mentioned tricking and fixing. You believe you can implant brand new thoughts and behaviors into people, and have them become core parts. As for me, like i said here >>77059859, i clearly don't believe in that. Most people are adverse to change, and they never will change; especially when it comes to their core traits. If you manage to convince someone to do something, they most definitely already had an underlying thought of doing it themselves (but just never did), and you finally gave them a jolt in the back, to finally commit to it. So not really "a change". And I can't believe you can call all that stuff from above a form of "motivation"; it reads like a bank heist plan. But again, we clearly have fundamentally different opinions on this.

>>77059928
>Most people are adverse to change,
>and they never will change
these are 2 very different things

>You believe you can implant brand new thoughts and behaviors into people
yes
and with sample size n=1 (my wife) it worked

>they most definitely already had an underlying thought of doing it themselves (but just never did),
very convenient...
just attribute any change to
"but they already had it in them"

in reality
human brains can change pretty drastically
and traits are not black and white, there's a lot of in between of people who are not opposed to sport but also won't seek out regular workouts on their own
for them the difference between staying actually /fit/ or not is just
>building habits
which you can absolutely influence

and sometimes
you need to "trick" people into breaking their bad habits
the "tricking" part is literally just offering them other perspectives / arguments to justify the new behavior and discredit the old one (literally what psychotherapy does)

>>77059950
cont.

but you tell me
half of the advice in this thread boils down to
>just go to the gym WITH her
>and she'll enjoy it because she likes you
>just cook meals WITH her
>and she'll eat it because she likes you
>set a good example yourself
is this just a "form of motivation"?
or "gaslighting with extra steps"?

and if you build a habit going to the gym with her together
and now she goes on her own as well
is this just "light" pavlovian conditioning + habits?
or did she always have it in her and no "change" happened?

>>77059950
>>77059963
Well good for your lady I guess. Let's see how 1 person compares to 7 billion lol. Jokes aside, I just don't believe in this conditioning thing. Either the intent is there from the beginning, or it's not; that's just how I roll. And this mindset proved me right plenty of times with all sorts of people that i ran into. We'll just have to agree to disagree I guess.

>>77053147
She posted this shit herself

>>77053147
The guy would be an incel without her so she's doing him a favor tbqh

>>77053147
She's angle frauding in the first pic anyway. She was likely already chubby and with bad habits and tendencies. Anyone with a shred of cop on would have seen it. Her lad was either naive or just desperate.

>>77053147
God I'm so glad the girl I'm seeing now is a tall blonde with a slim body

>>77053147
So much bs advice these days. The answer is affordable Chinese GLP1 peptides.
>inb4 b-but you'll regain weight if you stop
Don't stop then.

My wife technically works out but puts in zero effort and it pisses me off. Lifting for 3 years but half rep squats 15kg each side.

Any time i point out the complete lack of progress or even offer to pay for a PT she seethes. Getting so close to dumping.

>>77060115
Honest question though, anon. Did you not see that she was like this when you got with her ? Or did she turn into a slob somewhere along the line?

>>77060210
She was young and had big tits and ass. I REALLY should have paid attention to her family though, they're all obese and completely passive and lazy. They don't even have the mental faculties to see they're fat and lazy so never have any drive to fix it, they just eat chip and have stroke.

As she got older and lost some of her shape I began to push her to workout and look after herself but it's fucking clear she doesn't get it, can't comprehend self improvement and just wants to sit on the sofa in comfort. I think i'm going to gtfo this spring.

>>77060254
The golden rule, look at her mom.

My experience:

Chubby women that get into shape find new confidence
They will get tired of you when men start paying more attention to them
They will cheat

>>77060542
Yeah i know. Very easy to ignore though when they're 30 years younger and have perky 30F tits.

However the fact she looks more and more like her parents bothers me less than the fact she thinks more and more like them. If i leave her she will spend the rest of her life eating biscuit crumbs off her fat gut watching quiz shows on tv and honestly it won't even occur to her it's bad or that she could have had a different life.

>>77053147
If you're only in the girlfriend stage, it's very unlikely. The longer the relationship goes on, the worse they usually get. They already have you, why would they need to keep trying.

>>77060623
That's totally true but it's such a toxic attitude. Every time I go to the gym I think "I can't wait to show off my pump to my gf once I get home".

>>77060642
Girls almost never think that way. A girl will cry and whine endlessly to her friends as a relationship fails, looking for validation, but will never once do something to actually fix it. They're pathologically passive.

I had a sexless marriage, told my wife it needed to change or it was over and laid out explicitly what was needed. Nothing even close to extreme: initiate now and then, a blowjob would be great, don't always turn down impulsive sex and I said we'd reappraise in 6 months. She was hysterically upset at the discussion and that leaving would mean she's a single mom in a foreign country.

Nevertheless by 3 months i knew exactly where it was going. No change, no effort, just back to business as normal as if we'd never talked. So at 4 months i said i knew we were done and got out

>>77060614
That exact same scenario happened with my previously fat cousin. She dumped her husband of 8 years of marriage + 5 yo kid to hop on new dick. No plausible reasons given.

>>77059506
>>77059511
trvth nvke

>>77053147
depends on why she's fat. if she doesn't think she needs to look good for you then she doesn't respect you in the first place and you might as well leave now.

>>77061802
>if she doesn't think she needs to look good for you
Like that fucking bloatlord in the OP webm. You can tell she's just an insufferable cunt.