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Now this is how you make a thread

Still waiting for the OP image to be posted on /fa/.

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>>253248
I don't think there's any overlap in posters here, anon. You'll have to make an expedition.

>>253250
I'd rather you did the work and spoonfed me the result.

So which thread is the real new one?

>>253254
This one.

>>253254
You're in it

Chances that horse goes kyujo 5 matches in?
Chances Onosato also goes kyujo because his injury hasn't fully healed?
Is it just me or is this Basho really looking like it's going to go to a Dan win right from the start.

The lowest rank to ever jump into Makuuchi in one tournament is from J13, which was Endo in 2013 from J13 to M13 after getting a 14-1 Y. This makes it extremely improbable that Kazuma will be in Maegashira by March, and likely by May.

>>253258
We dont see enough zenshos these days
Therefore Kazuma will give us one

>>253259
Desu Kazuma is the best chance we've had in a while of getting one. Kusano came close but Kazuma has the size to back it up.

>>253261
His knees will crumble to dust this year.

>>253262
Shut up.

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Do not support Naruto-beya

>>253257
The Emperor is attending on day 8. It would be an unthinkable disgrace for a yokozuna to start the basho, but not be there to do the special dohyo-iri for the Emperor. If they can mount the dohyo, they'll mount the dohyo, even if by day 8 they're facing make-koshi.

I really wish /xs/ had moderators

>>253268
Hiroshimoot should up their pay. Lets say a +20% increase?

>>253267
That only applies to rikishi that value hinkaku.

>>253254
The other one because it was first. Also because it's OP image is slightly less gay.

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>asasuiryu after fighting kazuma

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Kazuma bros are eating good this basho. Finally made it to Juryo after his injury set back and is looking prime to zensho. All of the decent juryo guys are either promoted to makuuchi or injured .... its our time.

>>253257
Injured Hoshoryu could mean anything, and we've never seen before injured Onosato or yusho hangover Dan. Anything could happen.

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>>253276
GIGANIGGA

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This is Kazuma's first opponent.

>>253281
they really dont want to drop out the juryo guys huh

>>253284
Only 2 KK among the top 8 Ms guys tbf
Himukamaru and Shiden dropped down, also on 5 wins

>>253279
Literally just hold W on your keyboard my man.

Imagine being a makushita grinder

>>253287
Wakatakamoto...

>>253276
It's basically Kazuma v Fujiryoga in Juryo.

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>>253287
Imagine being a jonidan grinder in danger of falling to jonokuchi... OH WAIT >>253245

>>253293
Truly the ugly bastard of all sumo.

>>253293
Koga is only 19, he has yet to unleash his final form

>>253295
He's 20. His birthday was the 12th of December.

>>253296
Did you send him a birthday present?

>>253297
Yeah, eyebrow tweezers.

>>253298
But thats his charm point

Why isn't Onosato married yet?

>>253303
The Japanese should have him take at least 10 wives to help with the birth rates

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I have understood the core of my appreciation for sumo. It is not the athletics, nor is it the tradition. No, it is the sheer beauty of seeing how it is possible to sculpt the human body and turn it into an elegant and graceful object in the dohyo. Loading the rikishi up with chanko and rice to increase their mass, and then carefully working the human form into such a thing. And to then see the retired elders shed all of those pounds like tears in rain and assume a "normal" figure once again as if it had all never happened. It is sublime, to witness such control over the physicality of the great ape. Only a fool would dismiss them as merely fat. Yes, this is the essence of what gives sumo its mysticism.

The body of a rikishi is a subversion of expectations. To observe such an unassuming figure move with such precision in the dohyo is like witnessing Michelangelo turn a block of marble into a work of art.

>>253278
>yusho hangover
only happens to unserious mental midgets like onosato

>>253289
lmao that "the next great yokozuna" takerufuji now isn't even considered a threat to beat noobs in juryo. his yusho will go down in history as the clownest basho of all time

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>>253314
>the clownest basho
Nah.

>>253254
All Dan threads are fake and gay and cursed

Its hilarious that the Redditiers here all hate Dan so much just because he is White

Takerufuji's legs aren't that small. It's pure muscle and bigger than the legs of everyone posting ITT.

>>253286
tell that to onosato

>>253327
it's funny how everyone makes fun of takeru's legs, while ichi has even thinner legs.

>>253342
ichi is taller and his body is more slim

they are erasing hakuho so much that they didnt show the legendary zensho end by kisenosato on the oyakata channel, despite showing other bouts from the same tournament

>>253346
>Hakuho
Who?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjwWZk5bTUo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T07nIUglTDM
DOUBLE SLOPPA WITH HOSHORYU BLESSING US PLEBS WITH HIS PRESENCE

>>253303
Why did you think the Emperor suddenly decided to attend?

>>253351
Don't be silly, the Emperor is already married. He's there to watch Onosato banish all the gaijin upstarts.

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I wonder if Koga will be the first heya shooter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjwWZk5bTUo

Hoshoryu content? FOR FREE??? Also it's from Christmas day, neat. Nice to see beyas getting more up to date on their releases. Some Futaslop has been upwards of three months old on release.

>>253366
>Yukiamami
I hurt my ankle
>Everyone
In the basho? In training?
>Yukiamami
In the bath

God I hate him, he's such a slob who puts in no effort.

>>253370
Hoshoryu was wearing drip on that video

>>253366
Something felt so off and unfunny about Hoshoryu's humour with that giant dish of sushi towards the end. The fact that no one started eating it and Hoshoryu seemed surprised at that makes me think that he lacks the rapport with the other guys to really pull off the sort of humour he puts out. He came across as a bit of a dick honestly, especially the part where he took Syunrai's phone.

>>253372
He's always been a goofy kid, and the fact that he's now Yokozuna makes it extra awkward.

>>253373
It just came across as something that a schoolyard bully would find funny.
>Haha I'm hogging the food
>Haha I took your phone off you
And no one can tell him to cut that unfunny shit out because it's Japan and he's a Yokozuna.

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>>253350
Its hilarious to look how FutaGoyAma sits on his beer bottle case throne in front of banquet feast while his wife hands him money to give to the wrestlers. Its like some sort of multi aspect humiliation ritual

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>spends 10 years in pro sumo
>briefly an ozeki
>one yusho, handful of kinboshi and prizes
>retires
>no elder stock
>in debt
>gets caught smuggling guns for the yakuza
>wife leaves him and takes his kids
>dies at age 34 working in a chanko restaurant
wtf

>>253378
Nigga speed ran the bad ending story line of sumo wrestler

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Shunta given the importance task of carrying Futagoyama's alcohol.

https://youtu.be/T07nIUglTDM?si=V8sjDgYWuBjZ-0bQ&t=1440

Mita's injury really is eating him up inside. When he talks about doing what you can to avoid injury Okami-san looks like she's welling up and looks towards Mita.
>*then he cracks open a can*
Classic Futagoyama.

>>253358
Why are they eating on the floor? Why is the TV also on the floor?

>>253390
You missed the best question
>Why is a sumo elder sitting on a plastic fucking beer crate in his own home?

>>253390
Japan.
>>253393
Tradition.

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>>253395
While injuries are inevitable, they aren't all the same and a big ol' ACL injury is a huge deal.
>He's not a large man and he can't keep trying to fight like he is one.
LOL PICREL

is there bingo for this basho?

>>253398
bingo anon died

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>>253399
f

>>253390
>>253393

The beer crate is a dual purpose TV stand/ Shisho throne.

>>253399
Good

>>253375
Happy wife, happy life,

>>253375
women originally handled money in japan because money, like a woman on her period, is kegare and unclean. it's also why women aren't allowed on a dohyo.

>>253401
s-sugoi...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY2ZeV5PH-g

Mochi pounded by Asanoyama...

Makes me think of Asanoyama pounding me...

>>253412
This is true. Worrying about money was a womanly thing. Samurai just did whatever they wanted and the women had to figure out how to pay for it. I read about it in Shogun which is basically a historical document more or less.

>>253390
what more does a man need?

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sumo time

We are live
>>>/sp/152906812

>>>/sp/152906812

>>>/sp/152906812

>>>/sp/152906812

>>>/sp/152906812

>>253390
Japan doesn't need western devil chairs, only glourius tiny tables and sitting on the floor.

>>253501
He se Nelly, he be Jelly. Hater's gonna hate.

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>>253358
noooo don't do my boy like that lmao

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I wish we could turn back time

to the good old dayyyysss

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what's the deal with a bunch of people being dressed in bright yellow

Do any of you guys actually sumo or just watch it, is there sumo clubs in America?

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>>253574
>is there sumo clubs in America?
yeah
https://www.ussumo.org/map

>>253576
>kills the zoomer with the move he tried to pull on him
kino

>>253574
Unless you're in Japan, you unironically are not doing real Grand Sumo. I don't know what that embarrassing western imitation is, but it's not real sumo.

You fuckers lied to me about Kazuma.

>>253603
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
FUTURE YOKOZUNA

Taking a few L's is actually a good thing for Kazuma because it will teach him valuable lessons on how to improve his sumo and become even better in the salaried divisions. It's setting him up to start zenshoing in March or May or July.

>>253603
>>253606
>>253623
He's 4-4 now so hopefully he can kachikoshi

Kazuma 5-4 now.
I'm revising my outlook. He looks REALLY fucking slow and unagile in the dohyo. I hope it's just a matter of experience and now that he's in the upper ranks he'll start to learn how to move around more and actually take advantage of his size. With 6 days left he only needs 3 to get the KK and secure his salary. Maybe if we're lucky this year, he might break into makuuchi by september or november.

If we're REALLY lucky he might break his neck. Ugly fuck.

That was really rude and uncalled for, psychopaths should be locked up.

Shishi going super saiyan this 'sho

Kazuma's salary is protected.

>>253861
that was a decent result by Kazuma; he said before basho he will be taking it as a learning experience. I hope he gets yusho in march.

We're so back.

>Roga 7-8
HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

I GUARANTEE YOU HE WON'T BE DEMOTED

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classic zak, fucking it up where i doesn't matter, but not helping the basho to be more interesting.

grats to nobehara, futagoyama vids will be interesting

>>253951
The good thing would've been tomato finally getting his yusho. I'm already tired of seeing this ukrainian bum everywhere.

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Should we try keeping an active general on /sp/? Sumo is active enough and had way more threads this basho than it did in the past, while /sp/ is slower than it used to be.

>>253953
No need to fix what isn't broken. These threads are fine for in-between Basho shitposting.

>>253953
We shouldn't go to /sp/ at all. We should keep the basho threads here and force Hiroshimoot to give us a /sumo/ board. Sumo is just as deserving of a dedicated board as origami or VTubers, and it would allow a greater diversity of sumo posts.

>>253953
We should stay on /sp/, all it takes is being able to manage a singular post every 17 hours to stay on the board.

>/xs/ still has sumo threads that haven't had a post in 80 days on the board

Extremely.

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How did your pet beya do?
>Musashigawa
Makekoshis all around, Hawaiian Dan doomed to be a sandanme grinder.

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Nips are praising the zunas for completing the whole basho with double digits despite injuries.

>>253963
I was worried that they both would just go either 8-9 wins or kyujo, but they managed to do their best and pulled double digits. Hoshoryu especially deserves praise for clinging on and dumbing the fuck out of Onosharto for the kensho pack

Well...the Slav sonofabitch actually pulled it off. Impressive. We might just have a Slav Yokozuna on our hands come May. Didn't think was even possible.

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Apologize please.

Dan's victory will inspire the troops back home to fend off the Zigger Orcs and end their failed Special Military Operation.

>>253968
The craziest part is that if he wins March he'll have gone from Makuuchi debut to Yokozuna two basho faster than Onosato, who himself did it six basho faster than Wajima.

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Now that the basho is over, beya slop is going to be in full swing again.
Curious to see Kise and what the mood in the stable is going to be.

>>253978
I want to see Koga microwaving chicken nuggets to celebrate Nobehara's makushita yusho. I do feel bad for Enho though. Isegahama almost won 4 divisions.

>>253953
I don't like flags. We're not intards.

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I believe in Ajigawa

>>253981
But that one anon said small beyas don't have access to the food and coaching needed to excel in sumo.

>>253982
And he was right.

>>253983
>See? Now that Dan has excelled his stable has access to the things needed to excel
Bad workman blaming his tools DESU.

>>253982
Sumo is spirit, technique and body. Not food, coach and gym equipment

>>253982
Ajigawa doesn't excel in sumo. Only Aonishiki has achieved anything of note in the years since the stable was established. It doesn't matter if Aonishiki personally exceeds the achievements of anyone in, say, Isegahama or Kise, because one good rikishi doesn't make you a successful stable. However, Ajigawa is a new stable and many of them don't manage to produce a sekitori so quickly. It's a promising sign that Ajigawa may, in future, become a stable to be reckoned with.

>>253988
>We'll be eating good for awhile now!

>>253990
Being a large stable with lots of top names isn't about affording food or having basic bitch gym equipment because those are cheap. It's about having the connections and influence to bring in the top talent. Why did you think Miyagino was rolled into Isegahama? Suddenly Isegahama-oyakata had access to the top talents scouted not only by themselves but also by Hakuho (see: Enho, Haku, Yoshi) all in one stable.

Ajigawa got super lucky in finding Dan. The food and training equipment was a complete non-issue for Dan because it's a non-issue for all rikishi in all stables.

>>253994
>Why did you think Miyagino was rolled into Isegahama?
Because Isegahama was the only stable with enough space to house all 19 Miyagino wrestlers at the time and they could plausibly play the "we want Hakuho to be mentored" card, even though Isegahama himself openly preferred them to be split between multiple different stables instead of staying together.

>>253981
>But that one anon said... "Something that no-one ever said"

And yes I know the post your referencing

>>253996
Sorry >>253981, that was meant for >>253982

>>253996
>>253997
Ultra retard

>>>/sp/153152644
>>>/sp/153152644
>>>/sp/153152644
>>>/sp/153152644
>>>/sp/153152644

>>253999
>/gay/ - gay general
>The gay thread
>>>/lgbt/ is that way

>>254003
A closeted Danfag if I've ever seen one

Fujinokawa has earned himself so many fans in the last basho or two. The last time such a small fighter had such spirit was Harumafuji.

Harumafuji wasn't even small.

133kg for a Yokozuna is nothing. Fuji isn't far off that. Should've been given a fighting spirit award DESU.

>>254006
Been a fan since makushita. It was me who kept shouting WAKAIKARI WAKAIKARI WAKAIKARI during all of his last makushita bout.

>>254009
I saw him come up through Juryo but even then his spirit now is on another level to back then. He's going to injure himself really fucking hard sooner rather than later and get the biggest round of applause as he's carted out split in half and dead. God bless.

>>254008
You're focusing on the wrong aspect. Weight isn't important. HEIGHT is important. Harumafuji was 10cm taller than Fujinokawa and had huge arms.

>>254006
people who like the midgets are all stupid losers who identify with the little guy because they see themselves as inferior and oppressed by larger, stronger people.
people who like dominating massive chads like onosato are people who self-identify as winners.

>>254012
sound like a theory based on of a lifetime of gay sex, Janke

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>>254012
「日本人の心理として、小さい人を応援するでしょう。」 - 66代横綱 若乃花
"Japanese psychology is such that we root for smaller people." - 66th Yokozuna Wakanohana
You're a faggot.

>>254011
The Boss told me that spirit is what's most important, and Fuji radiates fighting spirit.

>>254015
Is this AI?

>>254019
No, Urutora

>>254020
is that the guy midnightsumo plays the urotora song for xDDD

>>254021
I wouldn't know. VPN + ABEMA.

>Dan 13-2JY Yokozuna promotion
>Zak 12-3Y

>Zak 14-1Y Yokozuna promotion

Trust the plan.

>>254021
omg you goys midnight sumo is sooo funny im a long time fan chicken bubble!!! xDD he and queen bee who is very attractive xD got me into sumo ive bean watching for a month now ^_^

>>254027
Don't forget to thank genderfluiddruid for the intro.

>>254024
the plan was for them to get 14 wins this basho and zak to win the playoffs followed by a dan yusho in march with the situation reversed for a double rope

>>254012
The guys i've met in life that share your opinion are usually tall pussies that have had their shit pushed in by little guys.

If you had to be assfucked by a Makuuchi rikishi who would you choose? Hard mode: no Asanoyama.

>>254031
Well if I had to be assfucked, I guess I'd pick the guy with the smallest thinnest dick because I'm not gay.

>uhh all of you need to take your dicks out so i can study them and decide which of you gets to fuck me because i'm not gay

Will Onosato and Hosh recover by the next basho?

>>254035
There's no tour in February so sure why not. The question is whether they can stop the white man from marching on.

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Wish Hosh and Ono had just sat out the basho, I'd rather have no zunas than 2 injured ones potentially making thei injuries worse(hosh using his bad knee forn the slam on koto for example).
I want healthy zunas, not exploding arm and knee ones.

>>>/sp/153160328
>>>/sp/153160328
>>>/sp/153160328

>>254037
I appreciate them at least trying to gatekeep Dan from getting his rope. Two Yokozuna sitting it out while a third is made is not good.

>>254039
Yea but they looked weak out there due to those injuries, and now I question if hosh might have done better if it wasn't for that knee against Dan, that was probably his best match against him so far.
Kudos to both of them for double digit wins regardless.

>>254038
retard

>>254040
Well yeah they ARE injured, of course they would've likely performed better if that wasn't the case. I'm just saying the alternative would've been far more boring and lame to watch. Hope they recover soon.

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anti-Dansisters, how do we plan on surviving the next decade and a half or so of sumo without kysing?

atamifuji singing
https://nitter.poast.org/mambon/status/2015591341515022738

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Why are there at the end of tournaments Juryo vs Meagashira matchups?

>>254047
There's always cross-division matchups if there's an odd number of healthy wrestlers in sekitori, since they fight every day. Near the end of the tournaments, they can serve as unofficial "winner stays in the higher division" bouts depending on their respective scores.

>>254036
onosato stopped him with 1-hand basically.., but who cares, he's good, no reason to deny that. It's really shame zak isn't performing, wish grandpa was still around so he could slap him few times a day to get his shit straight... lard ass did 8-7 in 5 out of last 6 basho...disgusting for an ozeki.

Asanoyama a big disappointment. I don't get how he cant just keep his feet under him. He just slop flops on his face all his losses
Crazy yoshi barely gets kk after owning the zuna
Atamifuji out of nowhere. Wonder if he has mentsl issues when hes down early that makes him not care/ not fight hard when out of the race
Was hoping Tom O'washy would have been a bit stronger. He needs to stay in the top for like 2 more years to nab all the longevity records. 10 L going to put him around m10.
Fujinokawa looked goid, but theres too many vetter muscles manlets at thd top and i think next tournament will be rough on him
No a good start to tacoqueso's self proclaimed last year to go hard for ozeki and yusho again
What do we think the minimum requirement will be for dan to rope? feel like 11-4 wouldn't be good enough, and will need another 12-3 to get it

dan is gonna beat onosato in march but hes gonna lose to horse in the playoff
he will still get promoted with a record of 13-2

>>254050
>What do we think the minimum requirement will be for dan to rope?
Yusho. They're not going to accept an equivalent for Dan since he's already proven he's capable of winning 2 in a row. And unlike Hoshoryu, they're not short of yokozuna this time.

>>254049
It looked like Dan second guessed himself or overthought the whole thing, he squares up then jumps back a little giving Onosato exactly what he wants on his strong side, really odd choice. Even stranger considering he went up against Zak and the Tomato and didn't shy away from engaging them.

>>254050
Asa did well overall, but i dont think he has enough in him to make it back to sanyaku.
Fujinokawa will be great komusubi

They will promote him with 11-4 even.

The real question is, will Atami implode again when he touches M1 (or maybe K1W)?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ke88DsYSKg

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>>254058
he will if they rank him at komusubi... also i think he's a bit too fat.

>>254060
I thought so too, but he was moving fairly well this time around. But yeah, being 200 kg is not a safe to go about it either way

Yokozuna runs seem to have a fairly high success rate once that first yusho or equivlanet at Ozeki comes in. Sato, Hosh, Teru, K*senosato, Kakuryu, once they yusho'd at Ozeki they roped. Sure guys fail it like Zak, Kiri, Keisho, but considering the size of the achievement the success rate is pretty damn high.

>>254055
>i dont think he has enough in him to make it back to sanyaku.
which is crazy considering people thought he was going to pan out like onosato. hes more an endo
>11-4
im talking jy obviously. last jy at 11-4 had 5 guys tied
>>254058
id bet on it
>>254061
>no safe
hes not tall enough for it. he has takakeisho meatball arns problem.

>>253968
There'll be no living with Danfag after this.

https://www.sanspo.com/article/20260126-GEJQDLI2BFLF5BDALEAZ2KBNXU/

> I thought it would be good to know the national anthem if I was going to live in Japan
Too...much...hinkaku...AAAAAAA

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>>254068
True japanese spirit, I kneel. Other gaijins in sumo should take notes from Aonishiki and maybe they could be as successful as he is

>>254068
it also means he knew he would win.. the camera is on your face while anthem is playing. Also, that's huge simping ...he might as well be a weeb.

>>254070
wouldn't anyone sane want to live in Japan rather than Ukraine regardless of whether there was a war or not?

>>254068
How is that hinkaku? Learning the language and customs of a country you intend to live in should be the absolute minimum.

>>254068
I remember some nip comments calling him the "Blue-eyed samurai"

>>254071
sure, but not everyone is capable of simping, at least not to that degree as aonishiki is doing. I mean learning a language is one thing, but anthem.. was he saying/singing the anthem in kyushu? I didn't notice and it wasn't anywhere in the news, until this basho.

>>254074
Are you implying that learning fluent Japanese is easier than learning the Japanese national anthem?

>>254075
its not something you need to know unless you are planning on getting the yusho/love the country

>>254076
Anon it's just a song. A really slow one without too many words. It's not hard to learn one.

>>254077
nah, Aonishiki is a huge weeb and is hiding his huge figure collection and whale gacha accounts bought with the price money.

Look at what VPN + Abema antisocial losers are missing out on:
https://youtu.be/iLPOOOoRAgc?si=6xJ37UxwF_dB4LPp
Jealous?

>>254079
I don't watch them because Goose is an unwatchable jackass constantly. He's Reddit smugness incarnate.

>>254068
>Wholesome News: Witness the HEARTWARMING Moment When Beautiful Blue-Eyed REFUGEE from UKRAINE Sang the Japanese National Anthem in FLUENT JAPANESE
>lmao look at this UGLY RETARD mama's boy gaijin who can't even speak our languge also he's not eating rice lol also look at this funny-looking photo of him haha oh yeah I guess he's ukrainian too just like OUR HERO AONISHIKI
wow

>>254079
No.

I like to think Kotozakura, Onosato, and Hoshoryu have a secret LINE group chat where they desperately discuss ways on how to stop Aonishki

>>254053
If he gets a jun yusho next basho they'll promote him.

>>254070
>huge simping
When you're living in a nation, participating in their national sport, wearing their traditional clothing, speaking their language, learning their national anthem isn't simping, it's respect.

>>254071
>Japan rather than Ukraine
Earthquakes, tsunami, densely populated in the flat areas, expensive as fuck. Nah, I'd rather live in rural Ukraine where there aren't as many people, it's flat, less expensive, and still has forest and pasture lands.

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>>254089
I
AM
IRON
MAN
>guitars
>drums

>>254091
Ukraine is poor, corrupt, and war-torn. Mozambique has some lovely forests and pastures too, but nobody wants to live there. Japan, on the other hand, is stable and relatively prosperous, and offers far more opportunities for a motivated young man than anywhere in Eastern Europe ever will in Aonishiki's lifetime. Even if you're the sort of sperglord who wants to live in a log cabin and never speak to anyone, Japan has extensive and sparsely populated rural regions. You can even go hunting for boar and bear up in the mountains.

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>>254089

>>254089
Tamawashi is an absolute delight. His eventual hair cutting ceremony is going to have incredible attendance.

>>254089
>2 yusho
>kimboshi out the ass
He might be lifetime maegashira, but he's still one of the greats purely on consistency

>>254089
another 10 basho and he'll have a bunch more.
most career bouts in 10
most top division bouts is next basho
most conservatives top division bouts in 9 basho
most tournaments ranked top division in 9 basho

>>254096
>lifetime maegashira
That's former sekiwake to you, peasant.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvLlAV_d8pA

The sloppa begins anew.

>>254098
Sekiwake is basically turbo maegashira

>>254099
Must suck being low ranked at Isegahama. All the sekitori eat all the dohyo time. Even Asahifuji only got a look in towards the end.

>>254093
>Ukraine is poor, corrupt, and war-torn...
Poor means affordable, and there isn't a single government on the planet that isn't corrupt. Not a one. As far as war-torn, yes it is now, but it will end eventually. They all do.
>Mozambique has
...niggers. No thanks.
>Japan has...
All the shit I mentioned before. I would rather live in rural Ukraine then Japan, exactly for the reasons I cited.

>>254095
>Tamawashi
BASED af iron man.

>>254100
newfag

>>254101
Lower rankers train first, then do chores and make food while the sekitori train.

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>>254051
>hes gonna lose to horse
lmao

>>254104
>I want to live in a blown-out shithole, actually
Are you this contrarian about everything?

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Former ozeki Kotokaze issued a statement savagely attacking the two yokozuna and ending with the phrase
>I want to urge these two Yokozuna to seriously reflect on their performance

>>254113
Do you seethe this much any time someone doesn't share your opinion?

Imagine if a tate-gyoji actually used his seppuku dagger on a shitty call one day.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96BVBRP25dk

>Hiro was once given the shikona of Hironoumi by a sekitori gyoji

>>254116
Nobody seethes about the fact that you want to be special and different to everyone else. I'm mocking you for managing to be more autistic than everyone else in the general.

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>>254120
>wanting to live a simple life in the country is "special and different"

>>254104
Based. Don't care if I'm oppressed by government (forma judío nórdico), government (forma judío eslavo) or government (forma judío jápones), in the end they are all the same and bow to the same. The poor blown-out shithole has the most affordable potatoes and thus wins.

Reminder Hoshoryu is Aonishiki's personal jobber.

>>254115
If they are fully healthy in the next basho and show no signs of lingering injury then they were in the right. If not, well..

>>254090
respect, simping, whatever. he's still a gaijin and remain one even if he gets japanese nationality.

>>254129
So then aonishiki is onosato's personal jobber..

>>254136
And Onosato is Hoshoryu's personal jobber

If you go to the JSA's official YT page and sort their vids via popularity, a lot of the top matches feature Hosh. More specifically, matches of Hosh losing after he became Yokozuna. You have to scroll quite a bit to find an Onosato or Aonishiki vid where they aren't fighting Hosh, and they are the JSA's golden children who get the lion's share of attention. So whether you like him or hate him, think he deserves Yokozuna or not, you cannot deny that Hosh is bringing attention.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUnFOksNL3c
Sloppandesu

>Next basho starts on the 8th of the month, the earliest possible start
O_O

>>254144
He shouldn't be pouring wine into a mug like that...

>wake up
>remember Dan is the world champion of sumo
>immediately become furiously enraged
>spend all day angry and frustrated
>go to bed with rustled jimmies, have nightmares about Dan
how do anti-Danners cope? seems like a miserable lifestyle spending 24/7 every day being upset about Dan

>>254144
miyabiyama sitting on crates and boxes always cracks me up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9vM3g771AU

>>254155
YDC is right this time. No time to heal if there's a rope run from Dan.

>>254155
>Asking nuAsahi if he wants to beat Jokoryu's record of 27-1 to sekitori
It feels unfair to not credit Kazuma with matching that.

>>254149
mug holds more then a wine glass simple as

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>>254158
Pic related.

>>254144
>pouring wine into a mug like that
Based.

>>254157
Jokoryu's record is 32-3 before Juryo tho

The crazy part to me is that Aonishki hasn't even reached his full man strength yet. At 25, 26 he's going to be way stronger and heavier.

I want Aonishiki to change his shikona to Hakuho just to piss literally everyone off.

>>254168
>Asashoryu II
Hoshoryu on suicide watch

>>254169
Uncle would probably let him use that shikona too just to piss Hosh off.

>>254153
It's his right as oyakata.

>>254163
I think Anon meant his 27 straight wins on debut.

>>254172
No Chris made a point of comparing Asahifuji to Jokoryu so I assumed Jokoryu must've made sekitori after that 27-1 otherwise there'd be no reason for a cutoff point in the middle of Makushita. Turns out I was wrong and Chris is just a retard. Kazuma went 27-1 to reach sekitori if we're being intellectually honest about it.

>>254173
>Turns out I was wrong and Chris is just a retard.
A tale as old as time.

>>254173
>Chris is just a retard
WHAT???

Takakeisho is finally taking over a stable and becoming an oyakata. I hope we see him do shinpan duties soon so we can witness the plop.

>>254177
Now that he is a wimpy skinny little bitch, what is Takakeisho going to do if one of the wrestlers in his stable gets out of line? He can't beat them with golf clubs, thats not allowed anymore. Takanosho could just rape Takakeisho's wife and Takakeisho wouldn't be able to do anything about it, he'd just have to sit there and watch.

>>254179
Realistically, how many of the oyakatas could physically overpower their men? Even if you're generous and assume his wife is actively resisting, can you imagine Futagoyama for example getting off his beer crate and going toe-to-toe with Roga?

>>254177
It's like dropping a chopstick on it's end now, no more plop.

>>254180
Futagoyama would destroy Roga, he was an ozeki and is still at his fighting weight. Roga is pretty much just an upper juryo guy who lucked into the mid maegashira ranks.

>>254184
Futagoyama only has one working arm, lol. The fact that he's the same weight just means he's 100% fat now.

>>254186
Roga lost to Midorifuji, the smallest wimpiest guy in the top division

>>254187
Fuck off baiting newfag

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Big article about Dan in today's Wall Street Journal
https://www.wsj.com/sports/aonishiki-ukraine-japan-sumo-star-4e845df8
>Four Years Ago, He Fled Ukraine for Japan. Now He’s a Sumo Superstar.
>Danylo Yavhusyshyn, known to his opponents as Aonishiki, left his homeland after the Russian invasion to pursue a childhood dream of reaching the top in Japan’s ancient sport

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Atamifuji says "ahh" when he loses, just like Koga
https://www.sponichi.co.jp/sports/news/2026/01/26/articles/20260125s00005000350000c.html

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Reminder that Dad would have fucked Uncle up if he deigned to sumo wrestle, which is why Uncle shits on Nephew so much.

>>254189
>look at the super special UKRAINIAN REFUGEE who FLED UKRAINE, now he's a SUPERSTAR!!!!!
cringe glazing

>>254179
>implying Keisho isn't stronger now
It's like a DBZ character taking off his weighted clothing.

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>>254191
Atamifuji has a higher ELO rating than Koga
>>254197
Every piece of Japanese newscoverage has said the same shit since he made Makuushita

What's the deal with Koga

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Japanese women are all over Dan

>Ura 4-11
>Ichi 4-11
What the FUCK happened?

>>254202
They don't have the makings of a sanyaku athlete.

>>254203
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SowwfIBeW4U

Nishonoseki Oy𝐚k𝐚t𝐚 on H𝐚tsu B𝐚sho: Aonishiki h𝐚d the composure to execute 𝐚 meticulous str𝐚tegy
When all was said and done, Aonishiki showed the pride of a "kanban" (billboard) rikishi, thwarting the "gekokujo" (the underdog overturning the elite) from the Maegashira ranks. As the only Yokozuna or Ozeki to demonstrate stable strength across all 15 days, he once again proved the power of a wrestler who possesses a firm style built through steady, diligent training.

- The Championship Playoff
Regarding the playoff on the final day: Atamifuji dug in with a right-hand inside grip, and for a moment, it appeared the Ozeki was struggling. However, watching from ringside as a judge, I felt there was a clear difference in power between the two. The kubinage that decided the match wasn't a desperate "sink-or-swim" move; it was a technique executed as a trap. Even as Atamifuji frantically tried to work his way inside, the Ozeki suppressed him using his latissimus dorsi muscles and sheer power. He encouraged Atamifuji’s urge to get inside, only to execute the throw at the perfect moment. Even in a match with the championship on the line, he had the mental composure to formulate a meticulous strategy.

- Stability and Vulnerabilities
His mental state and posture never wavered. Because his left side is so strong, getting an inside grip neutralizes the opponent's right overarm grip. Furthermore, if he allows an opponent to get too low, his upper body rises, and he enters a state where he cannot exert power. Conversely, if an opponent successfully kills his left-hand game, a chance for victory emerges. Oho and Onosato, who both defeated him, fought exactly that kind of sumo.

- The Road to Yokozuna
Next tournament, he will finally be on a Tsuna-tori (Yokozuna promotion) run. I have pointed out his challenges before: he is the type of wrestler who has very clear "prey" and "kryptonite" opponents. It is urgent that he finds a countermeasure for wrestlers who push him upward by the roots with pure strength—including Onosato, whom he has never beaten. He must avoid creating "nemesis" wrestlers. His last two championships were both won with 12 wins. To aim for Yokozuna, he will need to reach a higher level of 13 or 14 wins.

- The San'yaku and Rising Stars
The two Yokozuna finished with 10 wins while not at 100% fitness. How should we view this? I want to give them credit for stabilizing their performance mid-tournament despite not being in top form. As for Onosato, opponents are taking advantage of the fact that he fights with a single rhythm. Both need to reassess everything from their training volume to their conditioning phases.

Fujinokawa, who earned 10 wins at his career-high rank, looks set to leap into a position where he will face all the top-ranked wrestlers in the Spring (Haru) Basho. His "all-out" attitude is very likable, and I hope he continues to enliven the dohyo by refining a style unique to smaller wrestlers.

>>254204
>OMG le heckin' pink magic beat another guy who's not sanyaku material to go 7-8!
you're proving my point

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Utterly fantastic sumo by Onosato.
>start tournament injured
>winning as usual
>curse is unleashed on the basho when the emperor shows his face
>goes on a losing streak
>in agonizing pain every day
>it's Onosatover
>adapt. improvise. overcome.
>becomes one-armed bandit
>starts blasting opponent after opponent on a winning streak while missing an arm
>refuses to give up his 9-6 winning streak minimum
>it's just Onostarting
Damn

>>254209
>becomes one-armed bandit
kek.
It was actually impressive that he defeated so many other rikishi with just a single arm.

>>254210
It was, showed that he has more range than being big + moving forward + great balance + dohyo boundary awareness. I'm also happy for Hosh finishing strong on a fucked meniscus.

How often do wrestlers use pomeade on their hair and when do they wash it off?

>>254201
You mean HAGS?

>>254210
You get more reach with going in with only one arm only so it worked for dumbtruck like Onosato

>>254212
>Goonosato

Fujinokawa is going to be pronounced dead in the dohyo come March and the round of applause is going to be incredible.

>>254216
every day and once or twice per week (they shower frequently but don't always shampoo the hair)

>>254216
It's tsubaki (camellia oil) and each heya has a hairdresser to take care of that for them.

>>254229
Not quite. Prospective tokoyama are recruited by stables in the same way that wrestlers are, and not all stables have one. There are a limited amount of slots available for tokoyama, although additional ones can be opened up if a large stable without any specially requests it. If there aren't any open slots, prospective non-wrestler recruits are often encouraged to become a gyoji or yobidashi instead. Stables without their own hairdressers will generally have the wrestlers style their own hair on a day-to-day basis, or, if convenient, a tokoyama attached to a physically close stable in the same ichimon will do it. For tournaments and other official appearances, an appropriately ranked tokoyama from the ichimon is responsible for tying the oicho-mage for sekitori whose stables lack their own.

Why doesn't Yoshinofuji have his topknot styled into the fan shape?

>>254234
Hair is not long enough yet

>>254234
he should have it by march or may

Kise's Sengaku has officially retired from sumo, confirming him as one of the men involved in the recent incident. As far as I know, we don't know who the other one was.

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WakatakaKOGA went 9-6 at M2 and he still isn't going to make sanyaku.
God HATES WakatakaKOGA
The banzuke committee HATES WakatakaKOGA
WakatakaKWAB

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Onosato was gifted an equestrian themed mawashi set

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Dan is on the cover of the latest issue of Sumo Magazine

>>254245
Is that supposed to come as a shock?

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https://sumall.sumo.or.jp/products/4573619417850
only ¥5,000

>>254244
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panja_Tower

>>254247
Around 27eur which is not bad for limited time t-shirt, but sumall only ships to japan unfortunately. JSA decrepit old farts still haven't figured it out overseas shipping. If you want official merch you are forced to buy from reseller jews, use those overpriced shipping sites or buy bootleg chink shit.

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>>254244
It's being foretold.

>>254245
wow an ozeki who won the yusho is on the cover of a sumo magazine?

>>254246
>>254252
Dan won. Cope and seethe