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titans of combat meet at last

dogshit thread

nigga wtf is this WHO DONE THIS

>>154153302
3 days until we enter the Ulberg era

finlandbeit sadly

An Ulbergian era

The era of the Ulberg

Carl of Ulberg

Ulberg? I'm just saying look into it

Carl the great Ulberg

an era of wait for khamzat to move up

Carl Ulberg

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What are the chances carlos pulls it

Half of this thread’s posts originate from Scandinavia. This is not a good sign for /heem/.

Carlstein Bergowitz, Esq.

>>154153458
A great sign for things to come

>>154153455
costa imeant

Ulberg fraud check speedrun:
90% complete...

>>154153283
He does look like he's angry at some fat person. Who is it?

Carolus Ulbergianus

>>154153468
I am gonna include Azamat on my parlay so Costa knocks him out.

Carlos Ulberg is an anagram for "Glucose Arr Lb"
>glucose arr lb
>glucose = sugar
>lb = weight
>sugar is weight
toss out the beans and cheese its keto b

Put on your thinking cap folks!
>>154153512 this guy might be onto something

Fuck Carlos Ulberg

Carlos Goldberg

>>154153532
Many have

Curlos Alberg

>>154153532
You sound like my mom

Kalle Ahlberg

Jiri is a retarded bitch

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Thoughts?

>>154153573
Sell out jew

I played ice hockey with a guy named Jiri and he had the biggest dick in the shower.

>>154153573
This is why weight cutting is retarded. Ulberg is going to be 20 lbs heavier in the cage but it's just but it's just water

>>154153573
just woke up. give me a minute

Any time someone bitches about weight cutting it's just self reporting that they've never competed in a sport in their life

>>154153573
Damn Jiri has a 10 pack

ulberg should retire, boring leg tapping charismaless shitter, already 35 and probably never getting another title shot, would only be taking more damage

>>154153573
Jiri looks focused
Ulberg looks unfocused

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w-who are some fighters?

>>154153609
You don't have to be such a soft pussy and avoid directly replying. I weigh 225 lbs and stand at 6' and would literally expand your anus with my erect cock and you would be unable to stop me.

>>154153655
(you)

>>154153661
your homosexuality is showing

>>154153668
boo hoo

>>154153661
you dont train

>>154153673
Post your asshole.

>>154153573
Jiri Prochazka on the left
Carlos Ulberg on the right

You guys, are the fights going to be really really good this weekend?

>>154153710
It's going to be as good as any other weekend

>>154153710
Nordic consensus is that yes.

>>154153581
we don't doxx each other here shrimpy

>>154153719
I hope that something really special happens man..

>>154153710
Yeah (on RIZIN)

>>154153741
Yeah I can't wait to see
*checks notes*
...I don't know what this says

>>154153741
I'm wont be watching that shit brotato

>>154153710
pretty much every fight on the whole card should be decent or even good, with a main event guaranteed heem

Aaron "Decent Or Even Good" Pico

Josh "Freakin" Hokit

>>154153726
my bad g

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Sheriff Pico

>>154153745
Who are you to doubt Schaubdullaev, you little punk?

no worries bappa

josh "reddit" hokit vs curtis "reddit" blaydes. must miss tv

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327 Who? Fury vs Makhmudov who? Real niggas are hyped for some Diddy Boxing!!

>>154153745
Here let me help you

Razhabali Shaydullaev vs Yuta Kubo
Danny Sabatello vs Joji Goto
Yoshinori Horie vs Patricky Pitbull
Kyohei Hagiwara vs Kaleo Meheula
Ryuya Fukuda vs Azizbek Temirov
Taio Asahisa vs Singpayak Payaklamphong
Makoto Takahashi vs Nkazimulo Zulu
Ayaka Hamasaki vs Natasha Kuziutina
Kazumasa Najima vs James Gallagher
Nurkhan Zhumagazy vs Tenya Yoshimura
Ryosuke Honda vs Kyohei Takagi
Seiya Inoue vs Hyuga Miyagawa
Daiki Yahiro vs Shun Okamoto
Kodai Yamasaki vs Tomoaki Arimatsu
Ryota Oki vs Ginji Arai
Ryusei Imamura vs Yu-ki

>>154153799
hokbeast is everything reddit hates
he even almost attacked their boy

>>154153827
mate he was playing with a lightsaber

This Saturday could be the most spectacular night of mixed martial arts the UFC has ever seen.

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>>154153823
>t.

>>154153823
Chitty chitty boom boom ting tong

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67 days until Gane fights.

Josh Hokit would leave Jiri in critical condition in a real street fight.

just put my inheritance on jiri

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Poor poor sweet old Donald Pig.....

>>154153827
hokit is darkreddit. just like you

>>154153927
you and your boys are purereddit

Murzakanov is basically anti-reddit

>>154153902
Hahaha 67

dana hates russian fighters because he knows grinding someones face into the mat for 25 minutes is the next step in mma powercreep and he wants to be able to sell tickets for shitty american fighters until at least the next tv contract

>>154153909
Trump is living rent free inside your head btw

>>154153942
nuh bru. im a mvp/khamzat fan. the intellectual choice. 163 +4 s.d. IQ

>>154153978
Epdaddy's semen lives rent free in Melania i fear

>>154154039
You sound like a real loser bro.

>>154154047
That scares you?

>>154154053
im a high iq fight fan. i only like the highest iq fighters. me? i rank merab vs umar. you probably didnt even understand it

>>154154065
harrowing prospect

How come the UFC couldn't close a deal with Fedor's "scary Russian mobster" management, but Bellator could? Doesn't pass the smell test. By Occam's razor, Dana is just a cheap kike.

shevchenkos complete and utter dismantling of weili. i called it. i knew it would was gonna happen as soon as the fight was announced. i watched it anyway. i knew islam was gonna do the same thing right after. watched that one too. you have to control the layers

>>154154016
Sup Sneed, still unfathomably gay?

>>154154092
That shit don't impress me much

>>154154160
talmbout shania twain b?

>>154154168
first her then the dawson all the prime time greats of our youth are getting cancer

>>154154210
do the helwanis know no mercy

Probably gonna buy some weed today get high and chill out

>>154154298
tax free i hope

no current ufc champion smokes weed. degenerate lazy and homosexual drug

>>154154372
you don't know that

I cant let you get close

>>154154372
yan is visibly baked

Josh "Fuckit" Hokit

Jos H. Hokit

dana white on adin ross in a few bongs

Josh H. Okit

I'm literally pakistani

>>154154497
rather shit in my hands and clap

>>154154497
Dana White and Adin Ross? Two faggots

>>154154511
How about clap your hands and shit

>>154154016
/heem/ is a forsen board

>>154154509
whats the qrd on this heme?

I fucking hate my dad he ruined my life financially, retard sold the house to rent, what a fucking idiot, I warned him not to do it and he didn't listen, now we are broke, big fucking man of the house, he don't need to listen to anyones advice, he knows better it seems, god damn idiot.

I'm gonna fucking kill myself and blame it on him in the suicide note so he feels guilty for the rest of his life, fuck him, fuck boomers.

I'm not a nihilist, a pessimist or depressed, my life could be good, I had a chance to make it, but retard boomer shitted all over it, now I'm going to crash into a wall at full speed FUCK NIGGERS FUCK JEWS

Aint nobody give a shit

dont heem yourself bro

>>154153512
Mmm Arby's..

>>154154562
He was probably worse off or doing other stupid shit with money than you know about, not just selling the house and then renting. Thoughbeit that can be stupid as well.
Might as well start a youtube channel and since you have nothing to lose and want to selfheem, you can be extra volatile and attention seeking on your videos to get famous like the mma guru. Good luck i'll be tuning in.

>>154154372
Current interim champion justin gaethje smokes more than most career pot heads. And he beat the sober le disciplined raphael fiziev (who you said would win) twice!

>>154154562
get in the gym bro you've already got a peach of a backstory for cantender series

>>154154691
I don't want my face on the internet, a real don makes his money in prívate, internet stars are all prostitutes with no dignity, I'll kill myself with a car like a true warrior.

>>154154562
Do it.
Or are you too scared to?

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brazzas in da club, sippin kvass, smokin 'ram

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Stop running Pigslam

Dana White is the goodest goy in history

>>154154867
Haha he little bit pokemon

>>154154562
That don't impress me much

AI users are subhuman

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Does this guy have autism or what?

>>154154967
Who are you to judge?

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>>154154562
Is pic rel your dadda ?

>>154154882
Nah fuck that!

I've lost my mind in this game

>hokit is a former football player
kek it's already fucking over, look forward to seeing him get chinned

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>>154154967
>Ai users are subh-ACKKKKKKK!!!!

josh "ai" hokit

Anyone here wants to join me in the local hamam? Nothing gay. Will scrub each other's backs, discuss MMA and compare dick size

>>154154511
sounds messy
>>154154531
sounds noisy

>>154155023
You fuck dem pokemons? Aw hell nah man that some fucked up shit

>>154155564
my pokeballs are right about to finna imprint your upon your chin

nah doos playing with pokemans

>>154155578
You got pokeballs? Whats that some kinda balls of poke?

>>154155593
you said nah doo me yesterday too. do we have a problem

Typhlosion
Jumpluff
Ampharos
Muk
Poliwrath
Fearow

>>154155663
nah...

Sceptile
Wailord
Camerupt
Flygon
Walrein
Salamence

Jones
Khamzat
Khabib
Islam
Van
Mike Perry

>>154155793
sit down young blood

>>154154562
that nigga owed money to some giga niggas. no fucking way he did that stupid shit in current economy.

Fuck all you bitches. I'm off to r/brendanschaub

Tom 1-0 by forward pressure

>>154156225
eye first right into ganes fingers like a stupid gay bitch

>>154156225
you are literally somali

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BEASTpuria is literally getting his own show on HBO and fightingon the biggest card in UFC history
meanwhile Pigslam is bouncing on BBC's and faking injuries

>>154156351
who on earth would watch this shit

>>154156351
He will be humbled by Justin.

>>154156373
many such cases la'

>>154156351
Clitia AGPurindia would stand no chance aginst Islams indefatigability in the realm of any human endeavor

Nigger..

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Volk got knocked out
Pigslam got knocked up

LEVELS

why is luigi in georgia

>>154156469
volks pushing with his ribs when he should be pushing more with his penis. he needs a better grappling coach

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>>154156351
>he's been filming for a documentary
slamdaddy xisters... we have to be prepared for the worst... they likely filmed the negotiations with poofc and are planning on releasing the footage and receipts in front of the whole WORLD. This is BAD

>>154156508
tommy shitforbrains was doing the same it means nothing

Tommy McMillen fight week

>>154154372
Most current champions are patrician alcoholics. Van, Yan, formerly Alex and soon-to-be Jerry, Islam, and Ilia spring to my mind.

>>154156351
Islam is a based Epicurean who lives by the maxim “Bene qui latuit, bene vixit”. He don’t need no recognition from the cazzies.

at least quarter of it will be dedicated to compiling all the evidence about Ali's involvement in 9/11

>>154156589
shades of an ganesque perspective

not going to sugar coat it

>>154156668
>aspiring pro boxer

>i don't want to say it mr urn
>listen tommy you fackin' muppet i spent a pwetty bag on ya so yous going to say the line
>me name's tom aspinall and jon jones deserves more money

thought I had a king oyster turns out it was a baby bella

>>154156536
Nah man. We're so fucked...

>>154156938
is this a /ck/ tillpost?

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Without Indian cuisine, this is what every British person would be eating every day

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Why is the mayor of Tbilisi taking pictures with Slamdaddy and not Clitia Toporked?

>beans and potato
>mayor of Tbilisi
Every time I hear or see something from outside USA it comes off like some Dr Suess bullshit

Meximericans would NEVER eat beans and potatoes

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>(((Ulberg)))
the script writers have a painful surprise in store for jerryfags

>>154157043
see >>154153661

>>154157099
Do you think about putting your cock in men’s anuses a lot?

>>154157162
Passive aggressive response. You would no doubt arch into me.

i thought the paulo costa fight was cancelled but apparently it's not?

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>>154157182
The Jews cut off your foreskin which caused homosexual urges

>>154156917
Me Urn is such a sick nickname for a fighter.

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astonishing

Wow adin ross even got dana white. Maybe that anon is right the jews are working in overtime

>>154157206
>Le jews
Nah it's just as much a Muslim thing (Khitan). Foundational, even, as Muhammed was circumcised. Sorry if you didn't know this spammy... Your daddies are all circumcised... Thoughbeit Georgians don't get circumcised, so Ilia and Merab aren't.. Again I'm sorry to break this terrible news...

Burning hot goosebump driven bubbly diarrhea

>>154157362
>everyone is spammy
You’ve also become schizophrenic from spending 14 hours a day on 4chan. Unfortunate.

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who does this to francis ngannou ?

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Where is he?

Will the real spam spammy please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

Now will the real spam spammy please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here...y'all act like you never seen a dead mommy post before maggoty minge all on the floor like clozzy was binge eating worse than before *chicka chicka*

>>154157416
Me

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who does this to curtis blaydes?

>>154157544
I do

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Jiri vs Ulberg

>>154157206
Yet another passive aggressive response. Both your replies have been attempts to understand me which is inherently submissive. My initial assessment was accurate.

All signs point towards an Ulberg masterclass

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>>154157573

a masterclass in getting heemed maybe!

>>154153573
Ulberg seems focused on the greater plan, the championship rounds and how to usher the Ulberg era, jiri is probably thinking about sponsorship money and some new ad campaigns

>>154153573
jiri is off the gas

it's over

Jiri vs Carlos
Samurai vs
I'm gonna be real I don't really give a fuck about this fight I wanted to watch the flyweight title fight

Glad you changed your mind, sneed, now you are seeing the bigger picture

I've watched almost all of Ulberg's fights and I can't remember shit about them

i never realized carlos was plumpmaxing which does change things a bit. only the wisest fighters realize how valuable plumpness really is.

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>Dana confirmed on aden ross stream that Islam and Ali lied about the white house card and the ilia negotiations
brazzas... it just keeps getting worse for us...

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>Dana confirmed

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for example, look at waldo. he is not fat but rather very plump. as such, he appears to be virtually unheemable, and could fight every 2 weeks if he wanted to.

>>154155995
It's crazy how fast he is, i believe Pereira will mostly likely lose to him, not because he is inferior in skill but because he still won't be used to all the weight he added, the first time he moved to lhw he lost to Jan but people memoryholled that, i think it takes a year or more for the body to get used to the extra weight, we have seen many fighters try to move up and they don't perform well the first fight, add that to the fact he is gonna be dealing with probably the best fighter in the division. honestly had he directly fought Aspinal, he'd probably win since he is just a shitter with no technique or timing

>>154157765
Paragon of honesty that Dana White

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UFCWinnipeg next week

>>154157863
More like UFC Loserpeg who the fuck are these bums

Remember when Dana accused Ngannou of raping him

https://youtube.com/shorts/jqiaxf3O8zI?si=ksweSBr4lfwFZFxL

>>154156351
he is getting the Izzy treatment too early, I want garth to heem his ass so bad, probably not gonna happen but it would be the highest level of kino, it might revive this dead ass sport.

>garth finally gets the title after years of trying
>bussypuria gets humiliated so hard he changes his shitty attitude and gets a real personality

>>154157881
francis fucked him
tell him francis fucked him

the ufc has been streaming carlos ulberg fights for 12 hours lol

>>154157966
God forbid they actually promote a fighter

>>154157966
Based, they know the Ulberg era is coming

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autistic shitposting is forbidden below this line

_______________________________________

Something about homosexual rape I didn't feel very creative today

>>154157980
i wouldn't recommend letting people see his fights if that's the idea...

Freedom 250

Im tryin to get like Danny Duncan fr

Chris Duncan is not yet done, a Scotsman always comes back

Yeah I'm a jacked Taiwanese boy whatup

Dana really wants nina to get drunk and smoke cigars with rich billionares.

>>154158218
How do yuo fogure b

>>154158218
wouldnt mind a nice big brown cigar in my mouth

>>154153902
who fucking cares lmao

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>>154153302
Carlberg

Jiri versus Anthony Smith is the fight to make. All real fight fans know thks

Dana said Ali snuck off during the white house trip

“Ngannou fucked you, kid, he fucked you real good” – Dana’s stream of consciousness.

Nukes don't exist but if they did, they'd be located in Ulberg's left counter hook

If only that soccer kick landed for Gilbert we would have been saved of the boring shitter ratlip era

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We follow them not

What was kill cliff mma called before they changed their name. Ill be impressed if one of you can answer this.

Dominick Reyes has been cut

>>154158434
Wasnt it like hard knocks sonething

>>154158495
Not even close

>>154158464
harsh, yet reasonable

tall bros - you're response?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nhZPxVBSJZI&ra=m

>getting thrown around and ragdolled by a manlet

Dominick Reyes has been cut (circumcision)

>>154158434
Blackzilians

>>154158603
Roy nelson used to flatline lanklets every other fight, he slept Schaub and Cro Cop

>>154158410
>the force keeping (you) from getting a gf

josh hokit

>>154158504
So what the fuk is it yuo stupid dick you gonna blueball me till I die fuckin asshoel? Respectfully.

its weird nobody has made a sex bet in the ufc, even as a joke

>>154159016
what does that even mean b

>>154159016
what

>>154155995
Masterclass on striking, even the GOAT had to take him down because he knew he'd get destroyed on his feet.

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The UFC is back in Miami

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/YUAe9GNev3E

>DJ gets easily molested by Chadmaev

Whenever people tell you height doesn't matter fart on your hand and slap them

>>154159230
You can clearly see hes not really tyring you stupid faggot. Obviously the smaller mans faster and would inplement BJJ way too quickly for the bigger man to react. Way to show yuor ass.

pitbull pico is piss ant behavior. something tony khan would pull to get a cheap pop. dana really doesnt give a fuck about the product anymore. as fans all we can do is write paramount and order his removal from mma

>>154159243
Cope. Chimaev was handling him like a little kid. He is simply too long and strong for DJ to do anything. In a real fight he would have to resort to running and punching like a little brother

demetrious "little johnson" brother bodied by goatmaev

>>154159261
Untruth. You can see DeeJay smiling throughout the whole thing. A smaller man has a.) greater skill and 2.) greater speed. Khamzat is storng sure but hes strengh belies his slowness. Trust me. Im not an "big" but but Ive beaten several men larger than I.

>>154159301
>a.) greater skill and 2.) greater speed
Only the 2nd one is true and even then, even if you have greater speed you usually having to cross longer distances and face higher risks (heavier hits). All short men can do is cope and do the little brother, or hope to be much more skilled than his opponent.

This is the reason weapons (to hurt humans) were made btw.

>OP-TI-MUS
>BELLUM DO-MI-TOOOOR

https://youtu.be/dQ_SAtV8AYA?si=iYzSmXbGRwXzwyHD

Gamblers rooting against Ulberg is a sign, the Ulberg era will start with a cascade of gamblers roping

does /heem/ rate Mexican Martial Arts

WE. ARE. LIIIIIIIIVE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQnlO6zLi_E

Meng called them “individuals“ because he thought that, much like fundamental particles, they were indivisible from the very core of their being.

>>154159356
smart money is on ulberg
jiri is getting around 70% of total bets but the line isn't moving
that means there's as much money on ulberg despite far fewer bets
your average retard $100 bettor is on jiri, smart bettors dropping $1000 per fight is on ulberg

>>154159427
Nah fuck that!

Woah you're telling me the flyweight got out grapple by the middleweight
That's unbelievable. Who could think that would ever happen

>>154159301
You beat their mengs, I presume.

Hokit's that guy that thinks he can force himself to be friends with everyone, but knows in the back of his mind that they only just tolerate him.
Always a bigger guy, always incredibly annoying, very easy to hurt his feelings.

>jiri fought highly technical kickboxer twice
>got heemed twice
>everyone is picking jiri
i swear you fags don't even watch fights

>>154159470
as noted previously by me on heem, very much a redditor, very much the type of guy that uses ai

>>154159477
we get it you're a gambling addict

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>>154159477
Ulberg is, easily, the best guy Jiri’s ever fought excepting Alex. But nobody picks him here because his record is fairly unimpressive. He’ll probably tko Jerry around r3, althoughever.

>>154159481
r*dditers hate hokit because he said he'll fight >le heckin trannies in his dwcs interview

>>154159508
hes a culture warring faggot. spiritually reddit

>>154159197
>betting on all finishes in 2026
lol

BOOKIES ROLL OUT THE RED CARPET FOR HIM

>>154159510
Are you actually fucking this manny trannies? Please tell me you are using an condum

>>154159522
I am nutting in all of them brazza

Wearing a conundrum.

>>154159405
i've watched this guy a couple times. all he does is complain about not getting subscribers from youtube then spends 15 minutes reading every stupid comment.
social media mmafags are cancer

>>154159418
I had no idea Meng was so conplex

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>>154159525

>>154159502
Excellent post

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>>154159525
This too

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>>154159525
.

>>154159561
>>154159550
Brah, a redheaded belladonna with a feminine penis and I fist fucked her hard as hell

Im throwing all my cum in that bitch

I can die now, I hit a peak I didnt know existed

>>154159477
Jesus fucking christ you guys convinced yourself a run of the mill LHW is actually good AGAIN

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>>154159575
>t.

>>154159575
Just be safe b. But keep livning your truth.

>>154159049
>>154159091
its like a "if i win u hav to suck my dick" kinda deal with their oppponent

>>154159575
Also are you meeting these guys organicaly or are you paying? It must be expensive b. Respectfully.

>>154159605
I literally dont care

My bucket list was
>list a tranny asshole

And I did much much more, I have fucked 3 very attractive passing trannies this week

Some men would pay thousands

Jesus christ you guys convinced yourself the gringo papi could ever beat the K-1 grandprix winner, the pride fc champion let alone flatline the rizin champion in round 3

>>154159626
Im not even employed

>>154159628
Lick*

>>154159636
>>154159626
Also grindr but also I live in a place with so many trannies I really could just go for a walk and pick one up

>>154159636
>>154159644
Oh ok sounds like yuo got life figured out god belss b.

>>154159628
Levels.

>>154159634
I literaly had money on Schaub that fight and I won 10 bucks

talmbout yuri prochazka

i bet my whole week allowance (2$) on carlos ulberg!

So many faggot ass molinas and tallbots in here

>>154159706
this general is filled with retarded children around 16-18 who make painfully unfunny jokes for 8 hours a day. you shouldnt be surprised

>>154159747
the volume of homo shit has gone up 500% the last few months. /heem/ is unusable

>>154159759
ive also been getting quite a bit gayer lately but im doing much better hiding it

File: ethyn wing masterclass.mp4 (3.6 MB)

3.6 MB MP4

>I want to be the deadliest combatant at hand to hand combat
Chills

>>154159759
it's like when you're a kid and that one faggy kid would constantly make "jokes" saying "HAHA IM GAY UR SO GAYYYY HEHEHEH" only it's much worse because it's just brown homosexuals screeching "DADDY" all day. no actual discussion of MMA

>>154159772
try killing yourself friend!

>>154159759
The youth are heavily indoctrinated in the fag shit so they can be replaced by Indians

Bussy is life

>>154159799
>nooo im IRONICALLY fag posting
kys you fucking retarded faggot

>>154159791
me and you in the octagon i sodomize you for instance

>>154159812
fuck off retarded shitposting closet-faggot. so tired of you retards

>>154159820
turn on your monitor

File: le kai face.png (46.9 KB)

46.9 KB PNG

I love women pussie

why is this one leaf always so mad

>>154159822
>spams a tired meme
quick post more faggy shit like "ive also been getting quite a bit gayer lately but im doing much better hiding it"

that's top quality humour you stupid fucking fag

>>154159826
cant figure out how to turn on his monitor

>>154159826
i browsed here a decade ago so i just know this gereral wasn't always a bunch of teenage-early adult retards with latent homosexual fantasies

remember when posts weren't entirely shit like this?
>>154159772

>>154159808
I was being serious

>>154159832
i'm not sure why you think regurgitating memes counters you posting gay shit like this
>>154159772
why dont you just go jerk off to gay porn or whatever the fuck and then come back and discuss MMA?

File: 1775667271416637.png (1.3 MB)

1.3 MB PNG

The advent of the Ulberg is nigh

>>154159837
then go fuck a tranny and shut the fuck up about it, jesus christ. i dont come here and post about how i love pussy everytime i bring a girl home

>>154159848
Nah

The world still has to grow

>>154159841
i can see it happening, but it'll be a chin check for jiri, so it's gonna be a fucking spicy fight, also pretty hyped for the paulo costa fight, though i feel he'll lose